And I'm not sure how to tell you this,
那个巨婴还活着 我和他一直有接触
but it is still alive, and I have been in contact with it.
上个月有几个当兵的跑到学校找我
There were soldiers waiting for me outside school last month.
带我去了五角大楼 做了简报
They took me to the Pentagon, and briefed me.
然后我坐上了一架穿梭机去了火星上的一处秘密基地
And from there, I was shuttled to a secret base on Mars.
政♥府♥抓到了他 想看看
They had captured him, and wanted to see
会不会对我 他的母亲 做出本能的回应
if he'd respond to me, instinctively, being his mother.
他也确实有反应
And he sure did.
但他们没料到的是我的反应
But what they didn't expect was that I'd respond to him.
我是被叫去训诫他
I was supposed to help discipline him,
帮助政♥府♥把他培养成终极武器的
so they could turn him into the ultimate weapon.
然而我教他什么是爱 教他相信自己
Instead, I trained him to love, to believe in himself,
好有朝一日逃脱
and finally, to escape.
政♥府♥想掩盖这件事
The government doesn't want anyone to know it happened,
但真♥相♥大白是早晚的事
but it's only a matter of time before the story comes out.
若真有这么一天 我们就只能依靠彼此了
And when it does, all we're going to have is each other.
你们两个是爱人 Rick可以依靠Morty
And you guys are a couple, and Rick has Morty,
我却只能打光棍
but I'm the odd one out.
所以我要想方设法让一家五口团结在一起
So, I wanted to make sure we stuck together.
但事与愿违 我让彼此渐行渐远 Rick还找到一个
But instead, I drove us apart, and Rick replaced me
动画风妹子顶替我 现在我只剩下我自己
with an anime girl, so all I've got is myself
和我那巨大 被政♥府♥训练和折磨的 叛逃的
and my giant, tortured, government-trained rogue
飘在宇宙间某处的乱♥伦♥怪物婴儿可以依靠了
incest monster baby out there in space somewhere.
闺女啊 苦了你了
Oh, baby. What the fuck.
这样一来 你也不禁好奇 政♥府♥都拿着我们的税款搞了些什么鬼
And then, you have to wonder, what else are they doing with our taxes?
等下 Summer 你说什么
Wait. Summer, what did you just say?
好多事啊 Morty
Morty, a lot.
他找了个动画风女孩顶替你
He replaced you with an anime girl?
大眼睛 牙缝是一排加号♥
Big eyes? Plus signs for teeth?
一句话说完还有奇奇怪怪的语气词
Ends sentences with weird sounds that don't fit?
没错 他的队伍现在全是这种人了
Yeah. That's going to be his whole crew now.
而且马上就要进行五五五创的第一次试驾
And they're about to run their first test on the GoGoGoTron.
那些人是来抢机甲的
Those people want to steal the robots.
Rick孤立无援 他们会害死他的
Th-they're gonna kill Rick. He's all alone.
我我我们必须去救他
We-we-we've got to go save him.
对 或者 让他去死吧
Right. Or... you know, fuck him.
我没意见 -嗯 去死吧
I'm good with that. -Yeah, fuck him.
家人们 一个伟大的领导者曾告诉我 摊上什么家人就是什么家人
Guys, a great leader once told me you get the family you get.
好的 成功了 现在只需要找到个巨型怪兽
Alright. It works. Now, we just got to find a giant monster.
我的感应器搜索到了一只 Rick
My sensors have picked one up, Rick.
好好好 锁定坐标
Okay. Okay Lock onto its location.
收到
Yeah, got it.
唔 是你啊
Oh, it's you!
蛤
Huh?
你们他妈要干嘛
What the hell is this?
谢谢你造出这个史上最大的机甲 Rick
Thanks for making the biggest robot ever, Rick.
后边就交给我们吧
We'll take it from here.
你们这帮大屁♥眼♥子
You little assholes!
老不死的
You son of a bitch!
子弹上膛啦 铁子们
Lock 'n load, boys.
都来认识下小号♥的我啊
Say "hello" to my little me.
投降吧老东西 五三是我们的了
Give up, old man. The G3 is ours.
没记错的话 你的“家人们”
And last I checked, your "family"
可不会来救你了 哈
wasn't coming to save you, hmm?
购购 顾顾
Go go goo goo.
仁慈圣母啊
Holy mother of mercy!
天呐 真壮观
My God. It's beautiful.
耶 家人们来咯
Yeah! Family!
那是 -你没看错 就是他
Is that -- -It's exactly what it looks like. Yes.
恭喜啊老东西 长得真像你
Congrats, man. I see the resemblance.
组成光能神剑 快他妈启动神剑
Form the Energy Sword! Activate the Goddamn sword!
天呐 拔剑了 咱们好像考虑得不太周到啊
Oh, man, the sword. Maybe we didn't think this through.
他们不会对太空婴儿下手的吧
They're not actually gonna attack a space baby, are they?
真想不到我会说出这种话来
I never thought I'd be the one to say this,
你得多看点动画片了老妈
but you need to watch more anime, Mom.
喔 慢点 鸣人
Whoa, easy now, Naruto.
拜拜咯
Bahbah go bye-bye!
你们都是些什么妖魔鬼怪
What the hell is wrong with you people?!
随手就能掏出个乱♥伦♥太空怪兽吗 哈
You just have an incest space monster in your back pocket, huh?
Smith一家欢迎您
Welcome to the Smith family.
啊靠 鸣人快放手 你曾外祖父在里头
Shit. Put that down, Naruto. Your great-grandpa is in there.
玩最后一把吊索 如何
What do you say? One last zipline?
乱♥伦♥太空婴儿 干得漂亮
Incest space baby. Nicely done.
自那之后 一切基本都恢复如常
After that, things pretty much went back to normal --
某种程度上的正常吧
some version of it, anyway.
Rick说五创不过是骗小孩的无聊把戏
Rick said GoTrons were lame little kid bullshit,
所以我们自此绝口不提
and we never talked about them again.
依旧有星际巨兽在各处为非作歹
Except all those gigantic space bugs were still runnin' loose,
但已经没有五创去和它们作战了
and there were no GoTrons left to fight them.
嗯 每天都会死伤上百万人
Yeah, millions die every day.
但你知道它们抹杀不了什么吗
But you want to know what they could never kill?
家庭
Family.
Jerry在哪 -救命啊
Where's Jerry? -Help!
救命啊 我还在外头呐
Help! I'm still out here!
嗯 没有比这更重要的事了
Yep, nothing's more important than--
嘿 悠着点
Hey! Hey! Whoa-whoa-whoa!
哕
Ugh!
就这样 我知道我们免不了一
And just like that, I knew our goose was as cooked as --
旁白星人 呕
Voiceovarians. Ugh.
*壮观的景象 振奋的声响*
*Magic sights, exciting sounds*
*无论日夜 都来看看*
*Come day or night, and feel around*
*这是为你创造的世界*
*This is the world for you*
*无论你去过哪里*
*No matter where you've ever been*
*这都是你新生的起点*
*This is the place your life begiii-i-ins*
*奶♥子♥世界*
*Boob World*
*奶♥子♥世界*
*Boob World*
*一个全新的世界 不对 是两个耶*
*It's a world for you, but it's actually two*
*奶♥子♥世界*
*Boob Wo-o-orld*
Samansky 你迟到了
Samansky, you're late!
我不会再犯了 长官
Won't happen again, sir!
虫子们 看看你们的左边 然后看看你们的右边
Bugs, Look to your left. Now, look to your right.
你们不会再回来了 谁都不会
None of you are coming back. Not one.
本项目有史以来
In the entire history of this program,
没有一只虫子回来过
not a single bug has returned.
行了 大家聚过来
Alright. Bring it in!
我们是什么 - 正常大小的虫子
What are we? -Normal-sized bugs!
我们要做什么 - 穿越跨维度入口抵达迷你人的星球
What do we do? -Travel through an interdimensional gateway to a planet with tiny people!
我们为什么要这样做 - 传播艾滋病的治愈方法
Why do we do it? -To spread the cure for AIDS!
中士 我们怎么知道那些小人能不能理解我们呢
Hey, Sarge, how do we know if these little people can understand us?
他们要是不说虫子语咋办
I mean, do these even speak Buganese?
真幽默 Palicki 这就是为什么我们要大声说
Funny, Palicki. That's why we say it very loud.
伙计们 过去之后你们仍然是文明的虫子
Guys, you'll still be the same civilized bug on their side.
跨维度穿越又不会
It's not like interdimensional travel
让我们的衣服消失 让我们像是大叫的怪物一样
strips us of our clothes, and makes us screaming monsters.
也或许会呢 没法知道
Or maybe it does. It's impossible to know.
快去吧
Now, get out of here!
我的衣服呢 怎么不见了
My clothes -- where'd they go?
啊 别打我了啊
行吧 听好了
一份柠檬汁
四片月桂叶
一撮海盐
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