瑞克和莫蒂（2013）

Rick and Morty S05E02

Part 1 July 31, 2021, 12:28 p.m.

你是假目标
你们还真饿
You two are hungry.
－今天是大日子－我们要杀上帝
It's a big day. -We're gonna kill God.
－什么？－上帝是真的
Come again? -Christian god is real.
他睡了几千年
He's been asleep for thousands of years,
我们要偷偷杀他
We're gonna sneak up there and kill 'em.
－像黑♥手♥党♥ －解决他
Mob style. -Just whack his ass.
－我能杀上帝吗？－吃屎啦，桑美
Can I kill God? -Fuck off, Summer.
－不可能－贝丝，你有听到吗？
As if. -Beth, do you hear this?
老公，别太紧张
Sweetie, don't get all worked up
你还要去面试
before your job interview.
－面试？－对
Job interview? -Yes.
很难相信吗？
Is that so hard to believe?
没错
Actually, yeah.
感觉不太对劲
Something's off.
不
No!
靠
Shit!
杀我
Hunt me!
大家快来杀我
Hunt me! Hunt me! Somebody hunt me!
－不要杀死他－杀我
Don't hunt him to completion! -Hunt me!
－靠－杀我
Oh, shit. Um... -Hunt me!
大家快收拾行李，我没时间解释
Everyone start packing. N-No time to explain.
－瑞克？－爸，怎么了？
Rick? -Dad, what's wrong?
－有人杀了假家庭－杀我
Someone just killed a decoy family. -Hunt me!
我是一直想被杀先生
I'm Mr. Always Wants To Be Hunted!
对，你以为大家都不觉得腻吗？
Yes, and how interesting did you think that would stay?!
你做了我们的复♥制♥人？
You made clones of us?
是假目标，莫蒂差别很大的…
Decoys, Morty. Very different.
－差别很大的，宝贝－差在哪？
Very different, sweetie. -Different h-h-- Ow!
没错，差在哪？
Yeah, Dad. Different h-how?
有很多人都想杀我，女儿
Lotta people out there want a piece of this, sweetie.
我很酷，他们会眼红
I'm cool, and it makes them feel bad.
自从出了太空贝丝的事之后
So, y'know, after that trouble with Space Beth,
我就在全国各地
I made passable copies of the family
放复♥制♥假目标
and placed them around the country
制♥造♥缓冲
as a buffer zone to protect --
－他为何想被杀？－杰瑞
But why does he always -want to be hunted? -Jerry...
－那不重要，爸－对啦
That's not important right now, Dad. -Sure, guys.
瑞克做了我们的假目标
Rick can make secret decoys of the family
放到全国各地去
and place them all around the country,
我却不能问起
but fuck me if I have questions
穿标靶装的海星人
about the Starfish Man in a target suit.
我的周六真赞
So thankful this is my Saturday.
他为什么在冷冻舱里？
Why was he in that cryo-pod?!
你还在想冷冻舱的事？
The cryopod is what confuses you?
杰瑞还有更重要的事，好吗？
Jerry, can't you see we've moved on to higher stakes?
我觉得没什么大不了的
Well, I don't see any stakes at all.
靠
Ah, shit!
看来我们只能
Guess we'll just be saying ciao bella
－放弃押金了－闭嘴啦，杰瑞
to our deposit, then -Shut up and pack, Jerry.
－乌贼杀了假家庭－＂假家庭＂？
Squids just killed a decoy family. Decoy family?
所以你才想出远门吗？
Is this is why you wanted to get out of town?
我会对度假原因
You think I'd lie to you
说谎吗，莫蒂？
about why we're on vacation, Morty?
我不会对你说谎
I wouldn't lie to you.
这句话是谎言
Well, that's a lie. Huh...
所以有人想杀我们吗？
So, someone out there is trying to kill us?
随时都有
Someone's always trying to kill us --
所以我才会做假目标
That's what the decoys are for.
他们可以进行有趣独♥立♥的探险…
They go on fun, self-contained terrestrial adventures and...
帮我们挡子弹
take bullets meant for us.
靠
Shit.
不
No!
靠
Oh, shit.
假家庭
Decoy family.
爸好像在外面
I think Dad was still outside.
假家庭是什么？
Wh-Wh-What's a decoy family?
这概念很难懂，莫蒂，很难懂
Hard concept, Morty. Hard concept.
说实话，我自己从来没搞懂
I've never really cracked it, if I'm being honest.
我决定当成另一个特别集数的
Decided it was maybe better as a kind of kinetic mislead
－运动诱导－真酷
for another special episode! -Oh, cool.
继续播放《时空狼人》
We now return to "When Wolf."
会时空旅行的狼？
Whoa. A time-traveling wolf?
－我喜欢－对，＂时空狼人＂
Count me in. -Yeah, I never thought of the where in werewolf
念起来很像＂时空旅人＂
like who, what, when and where.
真有趣
C-Clever wordplay!
时空狼人德古拉
When Wolf. Dracula.
你知道我来的原因
You know why I'm here.
我在这里很安全，伊恩
I'm safe here, Ian.
基♥督♥教还没被发明出来
Christianity hasn't been invented yet --
十字架对我来说什么都不是
Crosses are just baby T's to me now.
我离开了
I got out.
拜托别逼我回去
Please, don't invite me back in.
－加入德古拉的元素太混乱了－对
Huh, kinda mucked it up with this Dracula stuff. -You're right.
他们对核心概念没信心
It shows a lack of faith in their core concept,
我宁愿看时空狼人
I'd much rather watch When Wolf go to the '20s
回到1920年代投资股市
and invest in the stock market --
－然后吃人－没错
but then eat people. -Yeah.
如果真想知道
Look, if you really want to know
贝丝她妈发生了…呃
what happened to Beth's mom, it -- Whup.
外星乌贼杀了假家庭
Squid aliens just killed a decoy family.
＂假家庭＂？你又做复♥制♥人了？
Decoy family? You made more clones?
三成的科幻作品都有复♥制♥人
Clones are like 32% of all sci-fi, sweetie.
谁也不能把复♥制♥人占为己有，对，我做了假目标
You don't get to own 'clones. Yes, I made some decoys.
只比我们多了些
They're exactly like us,
修改和后门开关
with a few tweaks and a backdoor shutdown.
你是不是做有知觉的人就会硬？
Do you just get hard creating sentient life?
我其实是保护家人时就会硬
Actually, I get hard protecting my family. Ew.
－好恶－对，大家都有超杀复♥制♥人了
Gross. -Yeah, now everyone gets killer doppelgangers.
－赞－他们无害
Cool deal. -The decoys are harmless, Beth.
瑞克外公？假目标知道自己是假目标吗？
Grandpa Rick, do the decoys know they're decoys?
那样会很假，桑桑
They wouldn't be very good decoys if they did, Sum Sum.
－他们以为自己是我们？－对
So they think they're us? -That's the deal.
你怎么能确定我们不是假目标？
How do you know we're not decoys?
天啊，我们是假目标
Oh, my God. We're decoys.
我们可能不是真的
Oh, God. We might not be real.
而是假目标
W-We might be decoys! M-Morty, quick!
－我该怎么办？－莫蒂，快
Wh-Wh-What do I do? -My failsafe, Morty.
最后保障，莫蒂
M-M-My final, secret failsafe.
我有个最后保障能证明我是真的，你得帮我
I-It proves I'm real. You have to help me.
我绝不会开这种玩笑
I-I-I'd never joke about this.
有条形码，莫蒂
There's a barcode, Morty.
我的左边屁♥股♥内侧有条形码，莫蒂
A-A barcode on the interior of my left ass cheek.
－什么？－莫蒂，我求求你
What? -Morty, please, I'm begging you.
我不要看
I'm not looking at your ass.
拜托你，莫蒂，它还在吗？
Please, Morty! Is it there?
快告诉我有没有
God damn it! Just tell me if I'm real!
莫蒂，快
Morty, do it!
好恶
Gross!
－爸－桑美，大蠢蛋
Dad! -Summer, you fucking idiot.
－我们不是假目标－干嘛惩罚我？
We're not decoys. -Wh-Why did I get punished?!
首先，假目标不会做假目标，再来，你以为
A, decoys don't build decoys, and, B, you think
我会很难过自己是假的？
the mere suggestion I'm fake would break me?
－天啊，我不是你妈－吃屎啦
Christ, I'm not your mom. -Fuck off.
天啊，他们真的很想杀我
Jeez, these guys really wanna kill me bad.
好，这样
Alright. Here's the plan.
我们要去躲在假家庭里面
We're gonna hide out with a decoy family,
等乌贼出现，我们就杀掉它们
and when these squids show up, we jump their asses.
杰瑞，有紧急状况
Jerry! Come on! Family emergency.
比柠檬方块没有定型还紧急？
A bigger emergency than my lemon squares not setting?
这是无麸质、无糖