瑞克和莫蒂（2013）

Rick and Morty S05E09

Part 3 Sept. 7, 2021, 2:52 p.m.

好吧，说实话，我当时是这样想
Right, well, to be honest, that is how I felt at the time.
但我改观了，
But I've -I've rounded a corner.
是真的，各位
I seriously have, you guys.
已经来不及了，准备受死吧
Well, now it's time to round the corner of death!
乌鸦革命就此展开
Let the crow -volutionbegin.
好可怕的声音，你做了什么？
Aw, that sound. What have you done?
我叫三百公尺内的乌鸦对付人类
Turned crows against dozens of humans in a 300 meter radius.
拜托帮帮忙
Heeeelllllp... pleaseee...
你在求情吗？
Oh, now you beg for help?
不是我 -什么意思？
That wasn't me. -What do you mean?
救命，我在这里
Dooooown here.
杰瑞，你♥他♥妈♥为什么是一滩水？
Jerry, what the fuck? Why are you a puddle?
你配不上这两只乌鸦
You don't deserve these!
天才
Haha. -Genius.
你是不是在忙？ -对，杰瑞
Caaatch you at a baaad time? -Yeah, Jerry.
它们夺走了我的乌鸦
They took my goddamn crows!
别闹了，垃圾虫，快滚回洞里
Not now, Garbage Goober! Get back in your hole!
我们的第一场历险
Hohoho, our first adventure!
就是这吗？
This definitely the place?
对，瑞克剥削他们很久了
Yeah, Rick's been ripping these guys off for years,
他们一定会很…
they'll -they'll be really - -
感激
uh, grateful.
其实… -快搞到传送液吧
Y'know, there - -Let's just get that fluid, bud.
传送男孩马上就能开始传送了
The Portal Boys are about to be in portal business!
他在这里
Here he is.
这叛徒一直偷你们采的水晶
This rat was skimming your crystal harvest
交给名叫瑞克山查兹的太空人
and sending it to a spaceman named Rick Sanchez.
混♥蛋♥ -瑞克去死，踢他老二
Bastard! -Screw Rick! Kick his dick!
对吧？但我和尼克阻止了这一切
Yeah, right?! But me and Nick here, we -we put a stop to that.
全昆塔克的人♥民♥都感谢你们
The people of Kuntak thank you.
他是坏人，对吧？
He's a bad guy, right?
你们会好好惩罚他吧？
Y -You're gonna bring him to justice?
是，当然
Yeah, of course.
好，合作愉快
Uh, okay, p -pleasure doing business!
先等一下，莫蒂
Not so fast, Morty.
我们要拿到东西才能走
We're not leaving until we get what we came for.
怪了，我正打算…
Funny, I'm prepared to.
听着，我们想要传送液
So hey, look, wh -what we want is portal fluid.
当作给我们的谢礼
As our thanks.
传送液？
Portal fluid?
我如果有传送液还会住在蜥蜴矿坑吗？
You think I'd live in a lizard mine if I had portal fluid?
有道理，好吧，那我们只好大开杀戒了
Right, ok, or we could just kill you for it.
他是开玩笑的，他…
He's kidding. He's - -t -the Portal Boys
传送男孩不会随便杀人 -只会杀怪兽
only kill with kindness.And with guns.
不，不，开枪的人不是我
Oh, no. Oh, no. I -I'm not the one shooting!
杀了他们 -抱歉
Kill them! -I'm sorry.
住手，住手，他们没有武器
Stop! Stop! They're unarmed!
他妈搞什么？
Ahh! What the fuck?!
莫蒂，莫蒂
Morty! Morty!
你这基地真酷，很像《夜魔水晶》风格的成衣店
Cool place ya got here. Very Dark Crystal meets Hot Topic.
我的乌鸦呢？
Now where are my damn crows?
搞什么？
Seriously?
连这都是乌鸦主题？
Is there anything not on theme here?
你们的灵长类还闯进了我们的船
Even now your primate storms our ship to assert his dominance.
快来触碰圣蛋并变身
Touch the sacred egg and ascend.
你们就不用再听命于那只怪兽了
No longer shall you take orders from this beast.
听命于你们就没关系吗？
But taking orders from you i -is fine?
闭嘴，猩猩
Silence, Ape!
拜托，你们以为我的乌鸦会为了
C'mon, if you think my crows are gonna leave the great thing
这些幻想狗屁抛下我们的关系？
we have for whatever high fantasy bullshit this is?
你们就错了，对吧，两位？
You 're wrong. R -Right, guys?
这真的需要犹豫吗？
Th -This is seriously a toss -up.
没人要接电♥话♥吗？
Uh...someone wanna get that?
是我的电♥话♥，对吧？
Oh. It's me, isn't it?
我先看看是不是急事
Lemme just make sure it's not an emergency...
你好 -瑞克，对不起，我闯大祸了
Yello. -Rick, I'm so sorry, I -I messed up big!
莫蒂？没关系，你不会比我惨
Morty? It's okay, y -ya can't be worse off than me.
我沾到了传送液，偷了你的东西
I -I got portal splashed, robbed you,
找了个神经病当临时备胎
jumped into a rebound with a psycho,
还害死了一堆人
and -and left a trail of dead!
你还真忙碌
Wow, somebody's been busy.
你选择那两只乌鸦
I -I did it 'cause you hurt my feelings
很伤我的心
w -when you chose the two crows!
天啊，我只是在搞笑
Jesus, it was a bit, I'm getting my ass kicked
我现在被这愚蠢的乌鸦情节害惨了，整个大翻车
by this dumb fucking crow story, it's all gone tits up.
好吧，我很想你
Ha, okay, I -I miss you, man.
天啊，我刚刚好像太诚实了
Uh, goddamn it, might've been a bit too frank there.
我得晚点再回你电♥话♥了
Yeah... gonna have to call ya back.
小手王八蛋
Tiny -handed little brat - -
你以为恶搞我不用付出代价吗？
You think you can fuck with me and get away with it?!
那你就不够了解尼克
Then you don't know Nick.
被我抓到了，你根本不懂，对吧？
Busted. You don't get it, do you?
只要这传送口还在
As long as we have these portals,
你就永远逃不过我
you can never escape me.
搞什么鬼？
What the hell, man.
我们明明都是被瑞克虐待过的人
I -I thought we were both victims of Rick's abuse.
或许是，或许不是
Maybe we are, maybe we're not.
或许我们只是在同一间酒吧喝酒
Maybe we both just drink at the same bar
我某天想拿走他的传送枪
and maybe one night I tried to take his portal gun.
我原本以为瑞克能让我出人头地
See I thought Rick was my ticket to something special,
结果其实是你，莫蒂
but it turns out you were, Morty.
看看我，我现在是传送男孩了
And look at me now - -I'm a Portal Boy.
这名字烂透了，我只是配合而已
That name sucks! I was just trying to yes -and!
你不懂，莫蒂
You don't get it, Morty.
我们是搭档
We're partners.
快听话，否则我就让你生不如死
Now fall in line or I'll make your life a living hell.
不用，谢谢
No...thank...you.
真可惜，你如果不跟我同一阵线，你就不能继续跟我相连
Pity, I can't have you connected to me if you're not on my side.
所以我得杀了你
That means I gotta kill you.
但是我已经有搭档了
The thing is, I already got a partner,
你没有升迁的空间
and there's no room for promotions.
你♥他♥妈♥做了什么？
What the fuck did you just do?
我要跟你彻底断干净
Cut you out of my life.
你看你的盟友多快就抛下你了，瑞克山查兹？
See how quickly your allies abandon you, Rick Sanchez?
幸好抛弃是我的专业强项
Lucky for me, abandonment's my bread and butter.
靠，你应该要死的
Oh, shit. You were supposed to die!
不得不说
I gotta hand it to you...
是我多虑了，乌鸦科技真厉害
I was iffy about this one but crow tech slaps!
快杀了他，蠢蛋
Finish him, you fools!
快动手吧
Go ahead. Do it.
你们太酷了
You guys look so rad.
我甘愿被你们杀死
I deserve to go out this way!
安♥眠♥酮♥ -安♥眠♥酮♥ -没问题
Bird...qua...luudes.Done.
天啊，太棒了
Oh, my god, that was awesome.
你们刚刚明明能杀我
Y -You could've killed me back there.
你们怎么会原谅我？
H -How did you guys ever forgive me?
没错，我们的关系
Right, 'cause this toxic thing
不受我和莫蒂的危险关系所定义
I have with Morty doesn't define us.
天啊，乌鸦真的超有同理心的
Man, crows are empathetic as fuck!
这我一定要留着用
Definitely saving this one!
瑞克和两只乌鸦
Rick and two crows!
天啊，莫蒂
Oh, my god, Morty.
来，外公帮你治疗
Here, here come here l -let -let grandpa fix you up,
你要机器手还是蜥蜴手？
What do you want, a robot hand? A lizard hand?
还是像上次那样的大手？
I can make it big again like that one time?
我的正常手就好
Just my regular hand!
好吧，你现在没心情，我懂
Right, not a time for bits, I get it.
好了，焕然一新
There ya go, good as new.
所以我们和好了，对吧？
So we're like, back -back, right?
瑞克和莫蒂又合体了
Rick and Morty, together again.