瑞克和莫蒂（2013）

Rick and Morty S05E09

Part 1 Sept. 7, 2021, 2:52 p.m.

出乎很多人的意料
It came as a shock to many...
我们的独♥裁♥者被无情消灭，在这权力真空之中
But with the power vacuum left by the heartless consumption of our dictator,
我们要实施更多严苛的饼干法律
we shall impose even more Draconian cookie law,
一条一条地出炉
one be -cookieing at a time!
谢谢你
Oh, thank you!
你和你外公离开后它们立马就掌权了
They took power immediately after you and your grandpa left.
真抱歉，瑞克不管权力交接的，他当时应该只是饿了
Err sorry about that, Rick doesn't really do 'transition plans', I -I think he was just hungry.
那既然你来了，帮我们建立新的体制吧
Well, now with you here, perhaps a new system of government?
莫蒂国王 -抱歉，我得闪了
King Morty - -Sorry, look I gotta run,
你们一定能搞定的
I -I'm sure you guys'll figure it out,
我相信你们
I -I believe in you!
可以帮我们堵住这个幽浮形状的洞吗？
Morty! Can you help us with this UFO -shaped hole?
好吧，纯粹是因为
Sure, geez, but y'know only because
我刚好路过
I was in the neighborhood.
莫蒂，谢天谢地
Morty, thank God!
你外公离开后，这怪兽就出现了
The beast emerged right after your grandpa left
而且它的宝石还不见了 -天啊，真是太巧了
and its gem went missing - -Geez, that is a crazy coincidence
我建议最好不要多加探究
that I -I if I were you, probably just best left alone.
没错，我们应该庆祝一番
He's right. We -We should celebrate.
要吃顿大餐吗？ -我没空
Feast? -No time.
听起来很棒
S -S -Sounds pretty classic though,
你们自己吃吧
don't let me hold you up!
王八蛋，他做了记号♥
Son of a bitch. He marked it.
搞什…
What the - -
搞什么鬼？
Hey, what the hell?
天啊
Agh! Jesus!
你也沾到了绿色的东西，对吧？
You got some of that green stuff on you too, huh?
完了，真的完了
Th -Th -This is bad. Th -This is really bad.
嘿，你觉得我有何感受？
Hey, how do you think I feel?
我原本有个百宝袋，结果现在大腿上有一个小孩
I had the ultimate stash hole and now I got a kid in my thigh.
虽然你感觉是个大好人
Look, you seem like a perfectly nice guy in my hand hole,
但我若没解决这件事，我就完了
but if I can't sort this out I'm dead - -
你搞什么，老兄？好恶
What the hell, dude? Gross.
我只是… -你只是怎样？
I -I -I was just trying to... -You're just trying to what?
这些是哪来的？
Where'd this stuff come from?
垃圾虫，快出来吃垃圾
Garbage Goober, get out here and eat this garbage.
垃圾，我好爱垃圾，好吃的垃圾
Mmm, trash, I love trash, yum yum trash,
我想吃垃圾 -我超爱它的
I wanna eat trash - -Hell yeah, I love that lil guy.
等一下
Wait a minute.
这量子传送液里是加了激浪吗？
Is that Mountain Dew in my quantum transport solution?
我看到你做了记号♥
I -I saw you were marking the levels
只好加满… -加满？
so I -I had to top it off. -"Top it off?"
你知道这东西毒性有多强吗？
Do you know how dangerously toxic this stuff is?
你竟然加到我的传送液里？
And you added it to my portal fluid?!
因为你不信任我
Only because you don't trust me!
逻辑真棒，莫蒂
Oh, that's great logic, Morty - -
抱歉我没办法比主厨飞吻的手势
forgive me for not doing the kissy chef gesture
因为你可能把东西洒得到处都是
since you probably spilled this shit everywhere
我不想把我的嘴唇传送走
and I don't want to teleport my lips.
我没洒出来
I did I did not spill it!
我不会相信你，我也不该相信你
I won't take your word for that and I shouldn't have to,
所以我才设了搭档守则
which is why I have sidekick rules.
你如果无法遵守…
If you can't follow them - -
你就会换掉我，对…你每次都这样说
I can be replaced, yeah, yeah, so you keep telling me.
抱歉，你觉得我是在吹牛吗？
Excuse me? Did you just try to call my bluff?
你有看过我吹牛吗？
Have you ever seen me bluff?
好吧，你就换掉我好了
Fine. You know what, replace me!
换掉我，瑞克，快换掉我
Replace me, Rick! Just do it.
希望你能找到
Good luck finding someone that can be told
愿意被你威胁换掉八万次的人
80 thousand times how replaceable they are!
好吧，我决定让你面对现实
Okay. I'll see your bluff call and raise you reality.
我其实还蛮期待这一刻的
I can't pretend I haven't been looking forward to this.
这是＂比莫蒂好的事物轮盘＂
Behold my Wheel of Better Things Than Morty.
你是小孩吗？这是美劳作业吗？
Wh -What are you eight? I -Is this macaroni art?
你觉得这能证明
You expect me to believe you built this
你不在乎吗？
because you don't care?
不，这证明我对你完全没有期望
No, I built this because I don't expect shit from you.
来吧
Come on, anything!
除了莫蒂以外什么都好
Anything but Morty, let's go!
来吧，宝贝，不要归零
Come on baby, no whammies!
停，好，就这样
Duh -duh -duh -duh stop!
两只乌鸦
Okay, that's it. Two crows.
你被开除了，知道吗？去吃屎啦
You're fired! You know what? Eat shit.
你只是想让我觉得自己一文不值
You're just trying to make me feel worthless.
我从没这样说过
I never said you're worthless.
我其实把你的价值讲得很清楚
In fact, I've given you a very clear metric of your worth:
两只乌鸦
Two crows.
注意，我可没说三只乌鸦
Note I didn't say three!
天啊，你们的关系好不健康
Man, that is not a healthy relationship.
希望你不介意我偷听
I hope you don't mind me eavesdropping.
或许我们能想办法
Maybe we can figure out some sort of
贴OK绷隔音
sound -proof bandage solution.
垃圾虫有吃掉我的色情杂♥志♥吗？
Hey did Garbage Goober eat my porno magazines?
你曾是瑞克的朋友吗？
So, were you like, a friend of Rick's?
你是吗？ -问得好
Were you? -Good question.
他在干吗？他是不是故意
W -What's he doing, i -is he out there making sure
要抓两只乌鸦给你看？
you see him collecting two crows?
你现在心里想着＂天啊, 或许他在意我＂
And now you're thinking, gee, maybe if he cares enough
＂才会想伤我…＂
to hurt me this bad...
...
dot dot dot.
打破这恶性循环吧，莫蒂
Break the cycle, Morty.
改变你可以改变的事物
Change the things that you can change.
我就是这么做的，所以我自♥由♥了
That's what I did. And now I'm free.
我们要把六年的时间缩成六分钟
Only cramming six years into six minutes, fellas.
慢慢来
Take your time!
这样就对了
Now that's what I'm talking about!
你们下次若再成功，我有安♥眠♥酮♥
If ya nail this next one, I've got bird quaaludes.
我或许会分你们吃
And I might even share.
你可以不用再故意刺♥激♥我了
Y -You know you can stop doing that for my benefit.
或者你要继续作秀也没关系，我不干了
Y'know or -or keep doing it. Doesn't matter. I'm out.
我要走了 -等等，莫蒂，你先别走
I'm walking away. -Wait. Morty. Don't go.
你先看看这个
Not until you see this!
开始，鸟之绳索
Commence bird on a wire!
好耶
Yeeeeaaaahhhhh!
混♥蛋♥
Jerk.
喂，我们一起玩吧
Hey, let's hang out.
我们是共患难的兄弟
We're like brothers now, we both got away y'know,
你在哪？
w -where are you at?
该死，不行
Ooh, you know what, shoot, can't.
我是外星人，所以… -没关系
I'm an alien, um, so - -That's okay,
瑞克把我的脚踏车变成太空船
Rick turned my bike into a spaceship
进行单人冒险，让我去帮他拿
for "solo adventures" like picking up
金星脚软膏
his Venusian foot ointment.
天啊，是我之前太盲目了
God I'm seeing it so clearly now.
等等，你的位置是在地球上
Oh. Wait. I -It says here you're on Earth.
对，别来这里 -为什么？
Yeah. Ah. Don't come here. -Why not?
我懂，我房♥间有时候也很乱
Look, I -I get it, my room is sometimes messy too,
我可以去你家门口接…
I'll -I'll pick you up right outside your...
精神病院？ -被发现了
...mental asylum. -Busted.
你刚说你很自♥由♥
You literally said "I'm free."
我并不自♥由♥
I'm literally not free.
住手，别拉我的被子
Stop! That's my blanket!
你怎么会认识瑞克？
How do you know Rick?
某天酒吧打烊后
Look I came to your place with him one night
我跟他去你家
after the bar closed.
我在车♥库♥里摸东摸西
I started messing around in your garage
一不小心就把传送液倒在身上
and I spilled that portal stuff on me and he...
然后他就把我传送到了澳洲
kind of launched me to Australia...
用了莫名原始的弹射器，但弹♥药♥是…
like with this weirdly primitive catapult, but - -
但弹♥药♥是一个气密舱
but the ammunition is an airtight carbon chamber,