终归是家人

Fam S01E13

Part 2 May 27, 2020, 8:22 a.m.

这里显示你已经结过婚了
Says here you're already married.
-什么 -什么
- What? - What?!
我怎么能不知道线卫泰勒
How did I not know that, L.T.?
克莱美还有其它我应该知道的秘密吗
So, Clem, any other secrets I should know about?
你是中情局的吗
Are you in the CIA?
难道你是你的邪恶二重身吗
Are you actually your own evil twin?
你喜欢过女孩吗
Did you have a lesbian phase?
你知道我喜欢过女孩
You know I had a lesbian phase.
我知道我只是喜欢听你说
I know. I just like hearing about it.
他在那儿我丈夫
There he is. My husband.
克莱美
Clemmy.
本我需要离婚
Ben, I need a divorce.
这是我的约会对象大卫
This is my date, David.
非常困惑但大爱狗血剧情
Super confused but loving the drama.
你还记得几年前
Do you remember a few years ago
我们在维加斯假结婚玩吗
when we had what we thought was a pretend wedding in Vegas?
结果那不是假的
It turns out it wasn't pretend.
我们真的结婚了
We are really married.
天啊我们是不是最可爱的
Oh, my God, are we the cutest?
我们当然不会不可爱
I mean, we're not not cute.
来杯宇宙
Cosmo.
我得看一下你的身份证
Yeah, I'm gonna need to see some I.D.
当然了
Oh, of course.
谢谢菲利斯
Thank you, Phyllis.
别客气亲爱的
You're welcome, dear.
本你得马上和我们走一趟
Ben, we need you to come with us right now.
我们要把这事改了
We've got to fix this.
大卫对不起
David, I apologize,
我们的约会就先到这吧
but I have to cut this date short.
我妻子需要我
My wife needs me.
说出来你会惊讶但总有人这么跟我说
You'd be surprised how often I hear that.
好吧我们宣布
Okay, so the last thing
婚姻无效之前的最后一件事是
before we grant the annulment:
你能证明这段婚姻从未履行夫妻间的义务吗
Can you attest that the marriage was never consummated?
我来搞定这个
Uh... I'll handle this.
我们当时去拉斯维加斯看席琳·迪翁
We were in Vegas to see Céline Dion.
这理由对纽约州来说足够了
That's good enough for the state of New York.
这样就行了吗我们不是夫妻关系了
So, that's it? We're not married anymore?
这意味着我们可以结婚了
Which means that we can get married.
正是
Correct.
一旦文件被批准
Or you'll be able to in two weeks,
你们两周后就可以结婚
once the paperwork's approved.
等等让我搞清楚
Oh, uh, let me get this straight.
「批准」的章就在这
The "Approved" Stamp is right there,
文件就在这
and the paperwork is right there,
但你要两周后才盖章
but you won't stamp it for two weeks?
我是说如果这对你真的很重要
I mean, if it's really important to you,
我可以现在就盖章
I can stamp it right now.
但我两周之后才能给你
But I can't give it to you for two weeks.
等等我说的是
Wait, what am I even saying?
我甚至不能那么做
I can't even do that. But just saying it
但这么说会让我感觉比以前更有活力
made me feel more alive than I've felt in years.
你能和你的上级什么的沟通一下吗
Well, can't you speak to your supervisor or something?
我们现在要这样了吗
Oh, we're gonna do that dance?
我马上就回来
I'll be right back.
兄弟或许这一切就是预兆
Dude, maybe this whole thing is just a sign.
我们家的人就不适合结婚
Our family just isn't cut out for marriage.
我是说想想爸爸和乔琳
I mean, think about Dad and Jolene.
爸爸和卡罗尔
Or Dad and Carol.
或者爸爸和另一个卡罗尔
Or Dad and Other Carol.
听着我懂你的意思但我一点都不像爸爸
Look, I get your concern, but I am nothing like Dad.
好吧我是说你只有一段失败的婚姻
Yeah, I mean, you've only had one failed marriage.
不许对我妻子那么说话
Hey, don't talk to my wife that way.
好吧感觉怪怪的
Okay, that didn't feel right.
我和我上级谈了
So, I spoke to my supervisor,
我们什么也做不了
and there's nothing we can do.
我要和让他们谈谈
Well, I'd like to speak to them.
坦白讲没有什么上级
Full disclosure, there is no supervisor.
我就是加热了个玉米饼
I was just nuking a burrito.
看来我们只能假结婚了
Well, I guess our wedding's gonna be a sham.
对不起尼克
I'm sorry, Nick.
克莱美克莱美
Clem. Clem.
看来发生在维加斯的没能留在维加斯
I guess what happened in Vegas didn't stay in Vegas.
对不起尼克
I'm sorry, Nicky.
听着乔
Look... Joe?
我不会轻易放弃的
I'm not taking no for an answer.
我未婚妻做了些冲动又疯狂的事了吗
Did my fiancée do some impulsive, crazy thing?
是的她做了
Hell yeah, she did.
她做的那些事会让你兄弟我抓狂吗
Does it drive your boy nuts when she does stuff like that?
当然会
Hell yes, it does.
但这也是我爱她的原因
But it's also the reason why I love that woman.
因为没有克莱美汀·巴尔内斯
Because without Clementine Barnes,
没有克莱美汀·劳伦斯·泰勒·巴尔内斯
without Clementine Lawrence Taylor Barnes...
我的生活将会一成不变
...my life would be predictable.
百无聊赖
And boring.
你懂我的意思吗乔
You know what I mean, Joe?
我已经填了三份相同的表格了
I've filled out the same three forms
一整天每一天过去的十年间都如此
all day, every day, for the last decade.
所以是的我知道
So yeah, I know.
听着我只想让我的婚礼能变得完美
Look, I just want my wedding to be perfect,
但如果它不是真的那就谈不上完美
and it's not going to be if it's not real, so...
让我问问你乔
let me ask you, Joe.
你愿意做我的英雄吗
Will you be my hero?
我吗
Me?
英雄
Hero?
是的你没听错乔
Yeah, you heard me, Joe.
我平时工作中很少这么说但
This is rarely said in my line of work, but...:
我会帮你的
I'm gonna help you.
太好了
Yeah!
克莱美我们做到了
Well, Clem, we did it.
你的大日子终于到了
Your day is finally here.
等这一切结束了我闲暇时间该干什么
What am I gonna do in my spare time when this is all over?
克莱美你得立刻开始造人计划
Clem, I need you to start having babies right away.
萝丝我想感谢你做的一切
Rose, I want to thank you for everything.
我等不及在所有
I cannot wait to marry your son
我爱的人面前嫁给你儿子了
in front of all the people that I love.
以及你的干洗工人
And your dry cleaner...
卖♥♥保险的机修工以及...
insurance guy, mechanic and...
基本就是坐在第八桌的怪人们
basically, all the freaks at table eight.
克莱美你看起来美极了
Oh, Clem, you look absolutely beautiful.
谢谢
Aw, thank you.
雪伦·帕特里克·尤因·巴尔内斯
Ah. Shannon Patrick Ewing Barnes,
你给我放下
you put that down.
让我们开始这场婚礼吧
Okay, let's get this show on the road.
大家都准备好了吗沃特
Is everybody ready, Walt?
是的在场的各位
Yes, everyone that is here
都准备好了
is absolutely ready.
谁不在这
Who's not here?
我爸
My dad.
是的他没来
No, he's not.
很遗憾亲爱的
I'm sorry, sweetheart.
他死哪儿去了
Where the hell is he?
洋基队在第九局不分胜负
Well, the Yankees are tied in the ninth,
所以我猜他在洋基体育场排队买♥♥啤酒
so I'm gonna go with in line for beer at Yankee Stadium.
难以置信
Wow. Shocking.
你猜怎么着我把自己养大
You know what? I raised myself.
我也能自己一个人走过红毯
I can walk myself down the aisle.
亲爱的我们可以等
Sweetheart, we can wait.
不我不想再等了
No. I am done waiting.
我这辈子都在等等他改变
All I do is wait. Wait for him to change.