终归是家人

Fam S01E06

Part 2 May 27, 2020, 8:20 a.m.

也就是说我可以让凯尔随时来家里睡了
which means I can have Kyle sleep over anytime I want.
等等你怎么弄到阳性结果验孕棒的
So wait, how'd you get a positive pregnancy test?
我先是找了一个
Okay, so first thing I did
我们班的怀孕同学问她要点尿...
was I asked this pregnant girl in my homeroom, right, for some pee...
但是她说 "走开"
but she was like, "Go away."
没礼貌
Rude.
-后来我就谷歌♥查 -然后呢
- So then I googled it... - Yeah.
万万没想到
and, what do you know,
在验孕棒上倒可乐就会出阳性结果
pouring Coke on a pregnancy test turns it positive.
你确定你姐姐会发现吗
And you're sure your sister's gonna find it?
我今天早上假装打了一通电♥话♥ 肯定会的
After the phone call I faked this morning, definitely.
你这个主意太棒了
This is such a great idea.
我可以用来骗我的蠢后妈
I might pull it on my stupid stepmom.
姐妹儿那你可以搞两个阳性结果验孕棒
Dude, dude, you should get two positive pregnancy tests
-让她发现... -好
- for her to find... u202d- Yeah.
这样她就会以为你怀了双胞胎
and then she'll think you're having twins.
上帝啊
Oh, dear God.
好吧
Okay.
搞什么雪伦
Come on, Shannon.
天呐不要
Oh, God, no.
别是加号♥ 千万别是加号♥
Please don't be a plus. Please don't be a plus.
千万别是加号♥
Please don't be a plus.
嗨亲爱的
Hey, sweetie.
本谢谢你能过来
Ben, thank you so much for coming.
尼克在上课我不知道还能打给谁
Nick is teaching, and I didn't know who else to call.
你最好有急事我为了来见你
Well, it better be important. I had to get another instructor
请了其他导师带我的灵魂呼吸课
to cover my SoulCycle class for this.
你知道人们进屋之后看到米歇尔
Do you have any idea how upset people are gonna be
会有多生气吗
when they walk in and see Michelle?
米歇尔有什么问题吗
What's wrong with Michelle?
全是问题
Everything!
所以到底什么事
So what's going on?
我妹怀孕了
My sister is pregnant.
什么
What?
雪伦怀孕了
Shannon is pregnant.
天呐我太震惊了
Girl, I am shocked.
其实没有我觉得挺能接受的
No, I'm not. No, it's actually an incredibly easy buy.
等等她什么时候告诉你的
Wait, when did she tell you?
她没说我偷偷跑去她的房♥间乱翻...
She didn't. I was snooping in her room--
虽然我答应了她不会窥探她的房♥间
even though I made a deal with her that I wouldn't--
我在一个抽屉里找到了验孕棒
and I found the pregnancy test in one of her drawers,
我现在不知道该怎么办了
and now I don't know what to do.
这整件事让我想到
You know, this whole thing reminds me
当初我父母发现我是同性恋时的经历
of when my parents found out I was gay.
我妈帮我把衣服挂在衣柜里
Mom was hanging clothes in my closet
发现了一张碟片《巨♥屌♥♥陪审团·十二猛汉》
and found a DVD of Hung Jury: 12 Man-gry Men.
后来他们就跟你说他们知道了吗
And then they told you that they knew?
开什么玩笑我父母特别好
Are you kidding? My parents were amazing.
他们什么都没说
They didn't say a thing.
只是花心思用各种方式让我知道
They just went out of their way to let me know
无论如何他们都支持我
that they were there for me, no matter what.
绝不评判
No judgment.
你的意思是我也应该这样做
So you're saying that's what I should do
这样雪伦就会主动向我坦白怀孕的事吗
so that Shannon will tell me about the pregnancy?
其实我只是想讲一下我自己的故事而已
Actually, I was just telling a story about myself.
好吧那我就让雪伦知道
All right, so I am going to make sure that Shannon knows
我会一直支持她等她主动来找我坦白
that I'm there for her, and then wait for her to come to me.
没错很快
Exactly, and before you know it,
她就会把验孕棒从抽屉里拿出来...
she'll be pulling the pregnancy test out of that drawer, and...
-天呐 -怎么了
- Oh, God. u202d- What?
我发现验孕棒之后
After I found it,
就晕晕乎乎地在家里乱转
I was walking around my apartment in a daze,
我可能不小心把它放在厨房♥桌子上了
and I think I may have left it on the kitchen counter,
我得赶紧回家免得她放学回家发现
so I need to go home right now before she comes home and finds it.
好吧
Okay.
这点事不在电♥话♥里说非要见面真叫人"开心"
So glad we didn't just do this over the phone.
抱歉我爱你谢谢你
I'm sorry. I love you. Thank you.
-拜么么哒 -爱你哦
- Bye. Mwah. - Love you.
我的天呐
Oh, my God.
儿子
Hey, son.
你怎么来了
What you doing here?
我有重大消息要宣布
I, uh, I have some big news.
你终于要刮胡子了吗
You're finally gonna shave that beard
那胡子让你看起来像《阿♥拉♥丁神灯》里的精灵
that makes you look like that genie from Aladdin?
别这样沃特
Oh, Walt.
怎么了亲爱的
What's going on, honey?
爸妈...克莱美怀孕了
Guys... Clem's pregnant.
太好了
Yes!
太好了太好了
Yes, yes!
太棒了
Yes, yes!
我要当奶奶啦
I'm gonna be a grandma!
我也很为你开心儿子
I'm happy for you, too, son.
我只是没有通过发疯的方式表现出来
I'm just showing it in a less absolutely insane way.
来过来坐下
So, come on, sit, sit, come on, sit.
克莱美是怎么告诉你的
So, how did Clem tell you?
问题就是她没告诉我
That's the thing; she hasn't.
她把验孕棒放在厨房♥的料理台上
She left the pregnancy test on the kitchen counter
等我自己发现我想她是不敢告诉我
for me to find because I-I think she's afraid to tell me.
她为什么不敢告诉你她怀了...
Why would she be afraid to tell you that she's gonna have a b...
宝宝
Baby!
事实上她昨天好像就想借着提起
I actually think she was trying to tell me yesterday
我们养育孩子的话题告诉我
by bringing up us having kids,
但她没说出来因为我让她觉得我没准备好
but she stopped because I made her feel like I wasn't ready,
-因为我确实没准备好 -你住嘴
- because I'm not. - Shut your mouth!
我是说我们来讨论一下
I mean, let's discuss
你为什么有这种想法
why is it that you feel this way.
我也不知道
I don't know. You know?
我们本来计划过几年再考虑这事
The plan was to wait a few years.
而这一切都来得太突然
And this is all happening so fast.
我才刚报名参加了垒球队
I mean, I just signed up for a softball league.
我以后还能去打吗
Am I gonna be able to do that?
相信我养育孩子这种事
Trust me, when it comes to having kids,
没人能真的准备好
no one is ever truly ready.
然后你的宝宝就出生了
And then your baby is born,
你看到那张完美的小脸蛋
and you see that perfect little face,
内心就会充满喜悦
and it just fills your heart with joy.
那种美好的感觉永远不会消失
And that feeling never goes away.
直到他们长大了
And then they grow up.
还用奇怪的胡子盖住那张脸
And cover that face with a weird beard.
亲爱的你准备好养育这个宝宝了
Sweetheart, you are ready to have this baby.
你真这么想吗
You really think so?
你开什么玩笑
Are you kidding?
你一定会是个超棒的父亲
You are gonna be a fantastic father.
绝对的
Absolutely.
没准我真能做到
You know what, maybe I can do this.
我确实有很多知识可以传授
I do have a lot of knowledge to pass on.
再说有个小跟班也不错
Plus, it'd be nice to have a little wingman.
因为我一个人去电影院看动画电影时
'Cause I'm starting to get a lot of weird looks
开始有人用怪异的眼光看我
when I go to Pixar movies alone.
是克莱美
Oh, it's Clem. u202d
她想谈谈
She wants to talk.
我要回家告诉她
You know what, I'm gonna go home and let her know
她什么都不用担心
that she has nothing to worry about.
我准备好成为一个父亲了
I am ready to be a father.
谢谢你们
Thanks, guys.
我也准备好了
And I'm ready, too.
我已经买♥♥了一柜子的婴儿衣服
I've got a whole closet full of baby clothes,
全叠好了就等着给宝宝穿
folded and ready to go.
老妈你已经买♥♥好婴儿衣服了吗
Mom, you already bought baby clothes?
还买♥♥了奶嘴尿布除臭垃圾桶和婴童用高脚椅
And pacifiers and a diaper genie and a high chair.