终归是家人

Fam S01E06

Part 3 May 27, 2020, 8:20 a.m.

才不是呢沃特
That is not true, Walt.
高脚椅还在我婴儿用品网站的购物车里
Actually, the high chair is still in my Buy Buy Baby cart.
但我只要点一下你的宝宝就能坐得高高的
But with one click, your baby can be sitting high!
不要评判不要评判
No judgment. No judgment.
克莱美
Hey, Clem.
这不是我最喜欢的妹妹吗
There's my favorite sister!
好吧
Okay.
进来坐下
Come in. Sit down.
把脚放上来歇歇你想吃零食吗
Put your feet up. Do you want a snack?
我可以给你拿些零食吃
I can get you a snack.
你为什么对我这么好
Why are you being so nice to me?
因为我在乎你啊
Because I care about you.
无论如何我都会支持你
And I support you no matter what.
谢了克莱美你真好[甜]Thanks, Clem. That's real sweet.
你知道什么很甜吗新鲜出炉的曲奇
You know what's sweet? Fresh-baked cookies.
不了我胃不舒服
Nah, my stomach's blecch.
真的吗
Really?
肯定是吃错东西了
Must have been something I ate.
又或者是别的原因
Or maybe it was something else.
什么原因还能是因为什么
Like what? What else could it possibly be?
我不知道也许你...
I don't know. Maybe you're...
也许我什么我怎么了克莱美
Maybe I'm what? What am I, Clem?
那不重要
It doesn't matter.
但不管是什么事你都可以告诉我
But whatever it is, you can tell me.
天呐不好
Oh, God. Oh, no.
糟了我要吐了
No, I'm gonna puke!
雪伦雪伦
Shannon? Shannon?
雪伦你没事吧
Hey, Shannon, are you okay in there?
我没事
Oh, I'm fine.
给我一点时间
Just give me a minute.
好啊宝贝
Oh. u202dHey, babe.
你回来了太好了我们得谈谈
Good, you're home. We need to talk.
我知道你想谈什么
I know what you want to talk about.
真的吗
You do?
我发现了验孕棒
I found the pregnancy test,
当然这事发生得有点超前了...
and-and sure, like, this might be happening a little early...
只是有点吗这就是个灾难
A little? This is a disaster.
我一开始也这么想但现在...
And that's what I thought at first, too, but now...
现在我觉得非常开心
now I'm really, really happy.
你怎么能觉得开心呢
How could you be happy?
我们连孩子的父亲是谁都不知道
We don't even know who the father is.
我们不知道孩子的父亲是谁吗
We don't know who the father is?
没错的确有可能是凯尔啦
Yeah. I mean, it could be Kyle.
怎么可能是凯尔呢
How could it be Kyle?!
我不知道尼克谁都有可能
I don't know, Nick. It could be anyone.
你在说什么
Excuse me?
你为什么这么惊讶
Why are you so surprised?
因为我默认我是唯一一个
Because I assumed that I was the only person
跟你上♥床♥的人
you were having sex with!
什么
What?
不
No.
我是说是的
I mean yes.
是的
Yes.
不亲爱的
No, sweetie.
亲爱的我没怀孕
Sweetie, I'm not pregnant.
怀孕的人是雪伦
Shannon is pregnant.
等等你没怀孕吗
So, wait, you're not pregnant?
靠
Damn.
等等雪伦怀孕了靠
Wait, Shannon's pregnant? Damn!
没错但她不知道我已经知道了
Yeah, but she doesn't know that I know.
我当然知道了
Oh, yes, I do.
因为你这个正义使者窥探我隐私
'Cause you snooped, you narc.
我窥探了又怎么样你怀孕了
Who cares that I snooped? You're pregnant.
天呐你没怀孕
Oh, my God, you're not pregnant.
当然没有
No!
那个验孕棒是假的就为了证明你在窥探我的生活
That test was a fake to prove you were snooping.
该死的雪伦
Damn it, Shannon,
我现在超愤怒也松了一口气
I am so angry and so relieved,
同时又超生气超开心真是百感交集
and so mad and so happy all at the same time!
我在给凯尔发短♥信♥ 因为根据我们的约定
I'm texting Kyle, because according to our deal,
我可以请他来过夜了
I get to have him sleep over.
茄子表情
The eggplant emoji?
没错
That's right.
我不知道那是什么意思小姑娘
I have no idea what that means, young lady,
但那个小混♥蛋♥休想来这里过夜
but that little punk is not sleeping over,
尽管他确实很帅
as gorgeous as he is.
好吧很抱歉但我们双方有过约定
Yeah, I'm sorry, but we had a deal.
再说了一旦发出茄子表情
And once you send the eggplant emoji,
就没有回头路了
there's, like, no turning back.
好了约定作废
Yeah, well, screw the deal.
这是我们的房♥子
This is our house.
没错你随时可以离开
And, yes, you can leave whenever you want,
但只要你还住在这个屋檐下
but as long as you're here under this roof,
我们说了算
what we say goes.
伪君子
Hypocrites.
宝贝我有个问题
Babe, I just, I have one question.
没错茄子代表阴♥茎♥
Yes, the eggplant is a penis.
那就意味着
Well, then that means
我一直在跟我的素食主义同事斯蒂文调情
I've been flirting with my vegan coworker Steven.
雪伦
Shannon?
你能取下耳机好听到我说的话吗
Can you take your headphones off so that you can hear me?
抱歉我听不到我戴着耳机呢
Sorry, I can't hear you. I'm wearing headphones.
雪伦
Shannon.
什么事
What?
我很抱歉我破坏了约定好吗
I'm sorry that I broke the deal. Okay?
但我一开始就不该跟你谈条件约定任何事的
But I never should have made it in the first place.
在为人父母这方面我是新手
I'm new to this whole parenting thing,
我也不知道自己在干什么
and I don't really know what I'm doing.
但我知道我需要对你负责
But all I know is that I'm responsible for you.
是啊那快把我逼疯了
Yeah, and it's driving me crazy.
或许我应该搬回去跟爸爸一起住
Maybe I should just move back in with Dad,
回到我以前的学校
and go back to my old school,
那里的怀孕少女人都很好会分享她们的尿
where the pregnant girls are nice and share their pee.
你想回到爸爸那里住
You just want to go back to Dad's
只不过是因为他不管你让你为所欲为
because he lets you do whatever you want.
这下你总算明白了
Hey, now you're catching on.
我不是那样的人
Well, that's not me.
只要你还住在这里
And while you're here,
你就休想为所欲为
you don't get to do whatever you want.
因为我必须照看着你雪伦
Because I'm watching out for you, Shannon,
那是爸爸对我们没有尽到的职责
which is something that Dad never did for either of us.
是啊或许那正是我想要的
Yeah, well, maybe that's what I want.
或许的确是
Maybe it is.
但你要知道...
But just know that--
爸爸不擅长对我们说这种话
Dad wasn't good at saying this to us,
但是我爱你
but... I love you.
真的
I do.
很爱
A lot.
所以在你离开前请仔细想想这点
So just think about that before you decide to go.
谈得怎么样
So, how'd it go?
糟透了
Terrible.
我觉得她要搬回我爸那里去住了
I think she's gonna go back to my Dad's.
我很遗憾宝贝
Sorry, babe.
是啊我也是
Yeah, me, too.
但是你应该高兴我们不会马上养孩子
But, hey, you should be happy that we're not having a kid
因为我真的很不擅长为人母
because I completely suck at this.
你怎么敢这样
How dare you?!
什么我♥干♥什么了
What? What did I do?
你非得使用必杀技是吧
You just had to pull out the big guns, didn't you?
告诉我你爱我
Telling me you love me.
你简直是变♥态♥ 你知道吗