终归是家人

Fam S01E12

Part 2 May 27, 2020, 8:21 a.m.

- Yes. u202d- You just flung wine all over my mom's dress.
我什么也没干
I didn't do anything.
你本该在中间和我碰杯的
You were supposed to meet me halfway.
敬酒都是这样的
That's how a toast works.
你不能直接喝你得先碰杯
You don't just drink. You clink first!
不是每次都要先碰杯的
You don't always clink first.
所有人都会先碰杯
Everybody clinks first.
天啊是诅咒
Oh, my God. The curse.
没有诅咒只有污渍
There is no curse. There's a stain,
而且越来越难清洁
and it is setting.
好了快点厨房♥水池
Come on. Quick, the kitchen sink.
快点我去拿去污剂快走
Quick. I'll get the stain remover. Go, go, go!
我拿到去污剂了
I got the stain remover!
宝贝把另一个灯打开
Babe, turn on the other light.
不
Oh, no!
不不
No! No.
你开的好像不是灯克莱美
I don't think that was the light, Clem.
也许婚纱没事也许婚纱没事
Maybe it's okay. Maybe it's okay.
好吧
Okay.
婚纱不太好
So it's not okay.
看来你把我剩下的泰式炒粉吃了
I see you had my leftover pad thai.
-怎么了克莱美 -我告诉你怎么了
- What's up, Clem? - I'll tell you what's up.
我做错事了我做了一件
I did something bad. I did something,
大错特错错到离谱的事
like, really, really, really, really, really bad.
那听起来是我常说的话
You know, that sounds like something I usually say.
等等我们是交换灵魂了吗
Hold up, did we just Freaky Friday?
雪伦我弄坏了萝丝的婚纱
Shannon, I ruined Rose's wedding dress.
她会心碎的
She's gonna be heartbroken.
卡莱美我想肯定没那么严重啦
Okay, Clem, I'm sure it's not that bad.
我靠
Damn.
你谋杀了那玩意老天
You murdered that thing. Oh, my...
真不敢相信发生了这种事
I can't believe that this happened.
你知道在压力山大的时候什么能平复心情吗
You know what's comforting in times of stress?
-拜托别说小奶狗 -小奶狗
- Please don't say a puppy. - u202dA puppy.
看来我们现在都看过对方
I guess now we've both seen each other
穿我们宁愿没看过的衣服
in outfits that we wish we could unsee.
其实我准备去上本的...
I'm actually heading to Ben's...
单车课
...cycle class.
他说他认为我应付不来你敢相信吗
He said he didn't think I could handle it. Can you believe that?
你男人去年可是跑了半程马拉松
I mean, your boy ran a half marathon last year.
没错但那不是你本来的目的
Yeah, but not on purpose.
你男人报名跑全程
Your boy signed up for a full one
结果半途在煎饼店停了下来
and then stopped halfway at a Pancake City.
为了补充碳水化合物
To carbo-load.
宝贝你真的不用我陪你一起
Hey, babe, you sure you don't want me
-去和我妈坦白婚纱的事吗 -不用
- to come with you to tell my mom about the dress? u202d- No.
我自己能行但如果我没能活着回来
I got this. But if I don't make it back alive,
我对你的最后印象
it's gonna be a real bummer
就会是这身衣服真不太爽
that this was my last image of you.
谢谢夸奖
Thank you.
好了
Okay.
不能再拖下去了我要出发了
Enough stalling. Here I go.
天啊我要怎么开口啊
Oh, my God. How am I gonna do this?
听着克莱美你在跟达人说话
Listen, Clem, you're talking to the expert here.
如果你曾做过
If you've ever done something
会严重打击和摧毁一个人的错事
that's gonna completely crush and devastate someone,
说出来的时候面带微笑
say it with a smile.
有几个选项
All right, we got options here.
有「我是无辜的」微笑
There's the "I'm innocent" smile.
还有「我不知道怎么回事」微笑
The "I don't know" smile.
最好用的一个是「老娘不在乎」微笑
Now, the really great one is the "I don't really care" smile.
这种微笑妙处在于...
The beauty of this one...
我要你们幻想最完美的自己
I want you to picture your best self
然后朝着她狂踩单车小婊♥子♥们
and cycle to her, you bitches.
尼克你怎么样
Nick. How you doing, buddy?
希望你不要以为我会放过你
Hope you don't think I'm gonna go easy on you.
在本的地盘可没有特殊待遇
There is no special treatment in the Ben-Den.
我在本的地盘不需要特殊待遇
Don't need any special treatment in the Ben-Den.
其实我有点无聊了
I'm actually a little bored.
热身还要热多久
When are we done with this warm-up?
-两三分钟 -什么
- Couple minutes. - What!?
这还只是热身而已吗
This is still the warm-up?
你一定是在逗我吧
You got to be joking.
各位我要你们加大马力
Everyone, I need you to kick it up a notch!
用力踩克仔像我姐们格蒂一样
Dig deep, Nicky, like my girl Gertie here.
大家祝格蒂75岁生日快乐
And everyone wish Gertie a happy 75th birthday!
这么猛格蒂
Damn, Gertie.
萝丝我有事要告诉你
Rose, there's something i need to tell you,
可能会让你很难过
and it may be very upsetting.
我该怎么开口
How do I say this?
怎么了什么事
What? What is it?
亲爱的直说就好
Sweetheart, just tell me.
萝丝你的婚纱毁了
Rose, your wedding dress is ruined.
不不不
No, no, no, no, no.
别失控没你想的那么严重
Don't freak out. It's not that bad.
-没有吗 -不其实很严重
- It's not? - u202dOh, no, it is real bad.
我不知道刚才为什么那么说
I don't know why I just said that. u202d
萝丝我很抱歉
Rose, I'm so sorry.
怎么弄坏的
How'd it happen?
问题是
Well, the-the thing is, um,
-其实是这样... -萝丝是我♥干♥的
- what happened was... - Rose, I did it.
我毁了你的婚纱是我的错
I ruined your dress. It was me.
什么
What?
顺便说一句我忘记买♥♥你要的牛奶了
Just FYI, I forgot to get more milk earlier like you asked to.
我就想着趁着雪伦承认大错时说出来
I figured I'd sort of draft off this much bigger Shannon confession.
请继续
Continue.
一五一十告诉我事情的经过
Tell me exactly how it happened.
通常情况我会列个单子
Well, you know, normally, I make a list.
但事实上我变得有些自以为是
But truth is, I got a little cocky.
我在家闲溜达
So, I was messing around,
然后把红酒洒到婚纱上了
and I spilled red wine on the dress,
-之后... -红酒
- and then... u202d- Red wine?
在婚纱周围喝红酒
Red wine around a wedding gown?
老天太粗心大意了
Oh, God, that is so careless.
粗心大意
Careless!
之后出现了一个非常意外转折
And then, in an extremely unfortunate turn of events,
我想在水池里洗洗
I tried to wash it in the sink,
结果婚纱被卷入了
and I ended up shredding it in... in the...
垃圾处理机里
in the garbage disposal.
我猜这个梦碎了
Well, I guess that dream is over.
梦想着见证克莱美穿着我的婚纱嫁人
The dream of seeing Clem married in my wedding gown.
对不起萝丝
I'm sorry, Rose.
萝丝我很抱歉
Rose, I feel terrible.
我也是克莱美我也是
Oh. Me, too, Clem. Me, too.
我还忘了买♥♥早餐谷物对不起
I also forgot the Wheat Thins. I'm sorry.
刚才实在太不容易了
That was really hard.
雪伦你为了我挡住了血雨腥风
Shannon, you totally threw yourself on the grenade for me.
你为什么这么做
Why'd you do that?
姐们我已经习惯了别人对我失望
Dude, I'm used to people being disappointed in me.
我能接受
I can handle it.
而且我知道你和萝丝
And I know how important
保持良好关系对你来说很重要所以
your relationship with Rose is to you, so...
雪伦有时候你真是令我惊讶
Shannon, sometimes you really surprise me.
作为对我的回报
And for my cooperation,
我想要那只小狗
I want that puppy.
而其他时候你又有点蹬鼻子上脸
And other times, you're a little on the nose.
我的天我太喜欢这只狗狗了
Oh, my God, I love this dog so much!
我爱你我爱你
I love you. I love you.
我爱你我爱你我爱你
I love you, I love you. I love you.
我爱你而你觉得
And I love you. And you thought
我没能力照顾它