随性（2016）

Easy S03E05

Part 5 Aug. 5, 2020, 2:20 p.m.

Just-- It's so embarrassing.
一下举了起来而我
It just lifted and I'm...
现在我很羞愧我不
Now I'm, like, mortified, and I am not...
我和瑞恩没在一起是有原因的
There's a reason why I didn't end up with Ryan, you know?
天我
God, I'm...
我很遗憾这好复杂
so sorry, that's a lot.
-嗯 -这一定
- Yeah. - That must...
一定很痛苦吧
That must be really painful.
这事令人失望让人痛苦
I mean, it's painful in that it's disappointing,
但对我个人来说
but it's not that painful...
没那么痛苦
for me.
就是
I mean, it's...
很压抑
It's depressing.
嗯
Yeah.
感觉很糟
It just felt shitty.
我完全不知道我很遗憾
I had no idea. I'm sorry.
我不喜欢你完全不知道
I don't like that you had no idea.
我不喜欢你说你很遗憾就像你是我朋友一样
I don't like that you're saying sorry like you're my friend.
-我就是你朋友啊 -我感谢你说你很遗憾
- I am your friend. - I appreciate you saying you're sorry,
-但这让我觉得难过 -为什么
- but, like, that makes me feel sad. - Why?
因为感觉我在和一个朋友说话
Because it feels like I'm talking to a friend
他会说"我很遗憾"
who's, like, "Oh, I'm sorry."
我
Um... I...
我不知道还能怎么回答
I mean, I don't know how else to respond.
我支持你我爱你
I'm here for you, and I love you,
这听上去对你很糟很复杂
and that sounds terrible and complicated,
也很痛苦
and... painful for you.
我很遗憾你感到
So, I'm sorry that you're experiencing...
-苦恼 -我知道
- distress. - I know.
谢谢我只是
Thank you. I just...
我
And I'm...
谢谢
Thank you.
作为你的朋友
And as your friend and...
以及一个爱你的人谢谢你
and as someone who loves you, thank you,
但我感觉不到你
but I don't feel you.
我不喜欢这样
I don't like this.
-你在说什么 -我感觉不到你
- What is this- - - I don't feel you!
-什么意思 -我不知道
- What do you mean? - I don't... I don't know.
我就是不喜欢这样
I just... I don't like this.
开放式关系
Being in an open relationship?
是的
Yeah.
好吧我
Okay. I...
我不知道该怎么回答我是说
I sort of don't know how to respond. I mean, uh...
这可是个不小的消息啊
That's a... That's... That's a big thing to take in.
我我需要
I mean, I, uh... I think I'm gonna need...
一点时间消化下
a minute to sort of process that.
我
I...
我很喜欢
I do like it.
或者
Or...
我不确定说"喜欢"是否合适
Uh... I don't know if "Like" Is the right word,
但我很投入
but I'm... I'm invested in it.
我很感兴趣我感觉
And I'm interested in it, and I feel...
很有挑战性当然是以积极有趣的方式
challenged by it in a good, interesting way.
我不确定我现在就放弃
And I don't know that I can walk it back at this point.
你你想要我吗
Do you... Do you want me?
想
Yes.
-确定吗 -当然
- Do you? - Absolutely.
这对你意味着什么
What does that mean to you?
-什么意思 -这有什么意义
- What do you mean? - What's the point?
对你来说意味着什么
What does it mean to you?
重点是我们对彼此承诺
I mean, I-- The point is that we have committed to each other
我们有孩子
and we have children,
我们有共同打造的生活
and we have a life that we have built together,
我我不
and I'm... I don't...
但你不需要这么做
You don't have to do that, though.
你不需要承诺
You don't have to be committed.
你不需要这么做
You don't... You don't have to do that.
这是我第一次知道
Oh, I actually know, for the first time,
我不需要这么做
that I don't have to do that.
过去一年加上种种变化这是我很久以来
And this past year and change is the first time that I think...
第一次觉得我是有意识选择和你在一起
in a long time that I am consciously choosing to be with you.
我现在更加意识到
Like, I'm more awake now to the idea that I don't--
我没有和你捆绑在一起
That I'm not stuck with you or bound to you or shackled to you.
我现在知道
Like, I'm now knowing that, like...
每一天我都选择
every day, I'm choosing to...
和你在一起
partner with you,
-一起生活 -可是为什么
- and... and live a life together. - But why?
为什么
For what?
你这很棒吗
You... It's great, like, it's great?
我感觉不到和你的亲近
I don't feel close to you.
-抱歉我感觉不到 -我也没感觉和你亲近
- I'm sorry. I don't. - Yeah, I haven't felt close to you either.
那为什么你有什么好处
So why, then? What-- what are you getting out of this?
这很棒因为你有个妈妈
I mean, it's great, 'cause you have, like, a mom
某个关心你照顾你的人
and someone who, like... Who gives a shit and takes care of you,
你可以去做所有有意思的事
but, like, you get to go and do all these fun things
去参加那些鬼知道是什么的活动
and go to your whatever things,
见你女朋友
and see your girlfriends and whatever...
我并没觉得多有意思
It hasn't been that fun for me.
-和你的Tinder约会对象 -我觉得你没
- ...your Tinder dates. - But it's... I think you're not...
这不好玩
It's-- This isn't fun.
而是异常混乱充满挑战
It's been incredibly messy and challenging,
不稳定令人心烦意乱
and destabilizing and upsetting.
我最近经历了一次心碎
I mean, I... I had my heart broken recently.
好久都没有过那种感觉了
It's been so long since I've felt that...
这
and it...
冲击到了我
shook me up.
我感到
I feel...
不安被评判
insecure and judged and...
丑陋肥胖年老
ugly and fat and old and...
没有魅力以及
unattractive and completely...
土气条件差
uncool and ill-equipped to be, like...
完全不适合去约会但我坚持去约
throwing myself out there, but I keep doing it
因为我之前已经死了
because I was dead.
我们被困住了
I mean, we were... we were stuck.
现在我感觉我们没有被困住
And now I feel like we're not stuck.
我不知道我在干什么
And I don't know what I'm doing,
但我感觉我又一次和世界有了联♥系♥
but I feel like I'm actually engaging with the world again.
但你没和我互动你不想要我
But you're not engaging with me. You don't want me.
我想要你我懂
I do want you, and I hear that,
我觉得我们没有和对方互动
but I think we're not engaging with each other.
我不觉得这是因为
I don't think this is about...
不我们没有我们没有和对方互动
No, we're not. We're not engaging with each other.
但我不我不觉得你不想要我
But I just don't... I don't feel like-- You don't want me.
你不想要我
You don't want me.
-安迪你得相信 -感觉
- Andi, you need to trust-- - It feels--
-感觉你不想要我 -别告诉我我想要什么
- It feels like you don't want me. - Don't tell me what I want.
如果想继续下去我们就得
If this is gonna work, we gotta--
如果我说我想要你你就必须相信
Like, if I'm saying I want you, you have to trust that.
我总是想要同样的你吗不
Do I always want you in the same way? No.
我觉得和一个人共同生活在于
Like, I think spending a life with someone is about...
一起经历起起伏伏我知道
riding the wave of ups and downs and, like, I'm aware that--
但你说的和我说的不是一回事
Yeah, but you're not talking about the thing that I'm talking about.
-那你在说什么 -你你
- What are you talking about? - That you're... That you're...
我并不想和其他男人做这事
Like, I don't wanna actually go do this shit with other guys.
-我不想我不我不 -好好
- I don't want to. I don't... I don't... - Okay. Okay!
我想做♥爱♥
I wanted to have sex...
而我们当时没有性生活我想要
and we weren't having sex, and I wanted... I wanted that.
我也是
Yeah, me too.
但现在有了
And now that's happening.
嗯我就感觉
Yeah, and now I just feel like...
为什么