破产投靠

巴里 到底怎么回事
Barry, what happened?
刚开始很顺利 但之后
We got off to a super-hot start, but then it was, like,
他要去上学 我要去上班 所以
he had to go to school and I had to go to work, and...
就像你说的 这不是任何人的错
like you said, it's nobody's fault.
我从没这么说过
I never said that!
好啦 也没那么糟
Okay, it's not that bad.
有些部分还挺不错的
I mean, some parts came out pretty good.
你逗我呢
Are you kidding me?
弗罗里达州看起来像被弗罗里达州的人揍了
Florida looks like it got beaten up by a guy from Florida.
好吧 那我们接下来怎么办
All right, so what's our next move?
-他明天请病假行吗 -不行
- He calls in sick tomorrow? - No.
他只能交没完成的手工项目
He's just gonna have to show his unfinished project
并学会珍贵的一课
and let it be a valuable lesson
也就是 别自不量力
in biting off more than you can chew.
我们有不同见解
Allow us to offer a counterpoint.
萨米这个年纪 跟所有人一样
At Sammy's age, like everyone's age,
形象大过天
image is everything.
正因此 照片分享网对社会大有好处
This is why Instagram is so good for society.
如果萨米交了这份手工项目 其他同学会冷嘲热讽
If Sammy presents this project, the kids are going to be brutal.
他们会嘲笑他 拿他开涮
They're going to laugh, make fun of him...
"啊哈哈 萨米
"Ah-ha-ha, Sammy!
你的地图和你预期的不一样呢"
Your map did not turn out the way you had intended."
然后他会哭
Then he cries,
从而导致一辈子做出种种错误决定
leading to a lifetime of bad decisions,
最后成为一个DJ
and then he becomes a deejay.
20年后他会跟自己的人生指导师谈心 说到
Then he finds himself in 20 years talking to his life coach, saying...
"我可悲的自♥由♥钟黏土塑像象征着
"My pathetic clay Liberty Bell was a metaphor
现在组成我人生的各种裂缝"
for the cracks that have now formed in my life."
我感谢你们对育儿提出的扭曲观点
While I appreciate your warped views on child-rearing,
但萨米很坚强
Sammy is a strong kid--
他不会被这种小事打垮的
he's not gonna let something like this bring him down.
他会没事的
He'll be fine.
杰姬说得对
Jackie's right.
我像萨米这么大时
When I was Sammy's age,
搞砸了一个跟这个差不多的手工项目
I totally biffed a project just like this.
没错 我复读了四年级
And yeah, I had to encore fourth grade,
但我现在也挺好的
but I turned out fine.
天呐
Oh, my God.
我们必须帮萨米完成这个手工项目
We have to help Sammy finish this project.
先说清楚 我们一般不替萨米做手工项目
To be clear-- we don't usually do Sammy's projects for him.
这只是偶然一次 因为巴里搞砸了一切
This is a one-time thing, 'cause Barry screwed everything up.
-同意 -同意
- Agreed. - Agreed.
同意
Agreed.
所有东西都准备好了吗
Do we have everything we need to finish this?
现在准备好了
We do now.
我知道任务量很大 但这是为了萨米
Now, I know it's a lot of work, but it's for Sammy,
-所以我们能行的 对吧 -别担心 杰姬
- so we got this, right? - Do not worry, Jackie.
你忘了我们有一个秘密武器
You forget we have a secret weapon
一个超凡卓绝的能人的帮助
the help of an absolutely extraordinary man
他的手工技能仅次于他的守时
whose arts-and-crafts skills are only surpassed by his punctuality.
女生们先生们 有请路易斯
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Luis.
效果不错吧
Amazing, right?
其实这是我们之间的小乐子
Actually, it's a little fun bit we do.
我已经在这站了一刻钟了 对我没说算不上乐子
I have been here 15 minutes, so not as fun for me.
谢谢你自愿帮忙
Thank you for volunteering to help.
怎么了
What's wrong?
卢克和我今天去山里骑车了
Luke and I went mountain biking today.
但感觉更像是山骑了我
It felt more like the mountain rode me.
我现在浑身疼
I am in excruciating pain.
-你该回家休息 路易斯 -胡说八道
- You should go home and rest, Luis. - Nonsense!
萨米有难 我必鼎力相助
If Sammy needs me, I will be here.
我去煮点咖啡
I'll put on some coffee.
明天前应该能煮好
It should be ready by tomorrow.
-你真厉害 -很有团队合作精神
- You are a trooper! - You are such a team player.
棒极了
Way to go!
-路易斯 路易斯 路易斯 -你能行
- Luis! Luis! Luis! - You got this!
-路易斯根本不行 -我们的帮手残了
- Luis is a bust. - We got nothing.
-我们完了 -让他来有什么意义
- We're gonna drown here. - What's the point of him being here?
-我不知道 -他完全是个废物
- I don't know. - He's completely useless.
他简直帮倒忙 还不如不来呢
It's actually worse that he's here.
首先我们要制定计划
All right, first we have to make a game plan.
最好是分小组各个击破
Best thing to do will be divide and conquer.
那么一组负责地图 另一组负责...
So one team will take map, and the other...
时间线 时间线 我和哈维尔要做时间线
Time line! Time line! Javi and I call time line!
-好棒 我们抢到简单的 亲爱的 -赞
- Yeah! We got the easy one, honey! - Oh! Yeah!
看样子我和你就得负责地图了[出名]Well, I guess that puts you and me on the map.
听懂我的双关了吗
Get it?
不幸的是 听懂了[我愿意]Unfortunately, I do.
嘿 你在我们的婚礼上也是这么说的
Hey. That's what you said at our wedding.
你觉得这看起来像新泽西吗
Does this look like New Jersey to you?
你最好粘一些垃圾上去
Well, you might want to tape some garbage to it
再放点摇滚歌♥手斯普林斯汀的歌♥ 就更像了
and put on some Springsteen just to bring it on home.
摇滚歌♥手 新泽西人
你在弄什么
What are you working on?
自♥由♥女神像 火炬还能点着
Statue of Liberty with a working torch,
这样孩子们就能点燃他们的...
so all the kids can light their..
我不知道 棉花糖吗
I don't know, marshmallows maybe?
好了 你悠着点
Okay, slow down over there.
就是一开始想得太复杂 现在才陷入这困境
Complicated ideas is what got us into this mess.
-我们得实际一点 -不行
- We have to be practical. - No way.
如果不惊天动地 那做任何事还有什么意义
What's the point of doing anything if you don't go big with it?
重点是要把事情做完
The point is to actually finish something.
-没问题 我会完成 -真的吗
- Yeah. I'm gonna finish it. - Really?
因为我已经预见到未来了
'Cause I've seen into the future,
五分钟后 你就会说
and five minutes from now, you're gonna be like,
"女神像太难了" 然后就开始打游戏
"Oh, statues are hard," and you're gonna play video games.
才不会 因为萨米在睡觉 游戏机在他房♥间里
Uh, no way. Sammy's asleep, and the Xbox is in his room.
告诉你 我是打算走长线的
Just so you know, I'm in this for the long haul.
走长线
The long haul?
太可笑了 记得我们第一次结婚纪念日
That's ridiculous. Remember our first wedding anniversary,
你说我们要来一趟横跨全国的浪漫之旅吗
you said we were gonna take a romantic cross-country trip?
结果呢 我们只到巴斯托
What happened? We get to Barstow,
你就决定结束了
and you call it quits.
当然啦 因为CD机坏了
Yeah. The CD player broke.
难道我们要在毫无音乐的情况下开车吗
What, we're supposed to drive without tunes?
你也可以先和我商量一下啊
We could have talked.
现在是谁可笑不讲理
Well, now who's being ridiculous?
你这人就是死性不改
You are never gonna change.
你每次一遇到难关 就立刻放弃
Okay, you always quit the second that things get tough.
如果你当初给过我多点支持[支撑]Well, maybe I wouldn't quit
也许我就不会放弃
if you showed a little more support.
什么 我一直以来都全心支持你
What?! All I've ever done is support you.
我简直就是你的...人形护裆
I'm like your... your human jockstrap.
真的吗 那我为何总是挨骂[蛋蛋被击打]Oh, really? Then why I am always getting hit in the nuts?
-因为你活该 -胡说
- Because you deserve it. - Oh, come on.
你从来不放过我
You never give me a break!
你根本不配被放过[休息]You don't deserve a break!
告诉你 我现在就要休息一下
You know what? I need a break.
我必须说 1812年战争这名字不太有创意
Well, I have to say, the War of 1812 wasn't very creatively named.
指美国第二次独♥立♥战争
历史兄 你就不能起些好玩的名字吗
I mean, have a little fun with titles, am I right, history?
怎么了 亲爱的
Oh, what's wrong, mi vida?
通常我讲关于历史的笑话 都能逗笑你的
Usually my quips about history tickle your funny bone.
没错老公 这笑话如果在阿尔·戈尔的
Yes, honey, that joke would have killed
达沃斯精英论♥坛♥聚餐 会很好笑
at Al Gore's Davos potluck.
美国前副总统 环境学家
巴里上周说的话一直让我心烦意乱
It's just, something Barry said last week has been bothering me.
是因为他管三明治叫"三明记"吗
Was it when he called sandwiches "sandos"?
不是
No.
是因为他问
It's when he asked,
如果你♥爸♥爸不把钱再次给我们怎么办
what if your papá doesn't give us our money back?
他会给的 我确定
Oh, he's going to. I know it.
我们保持乐观 完成这时间线吧
Let's just stay positive and finish this time line.
我就是觉得我们应该有个计划
Well... I just think we should have a plan