大城小妞（2014）

Broad City S02E05

Part 2 Oct. 14, 2020, 10:07 a.m.

We should definitely dish.
我们必须聊聊
About?
聊什么呢
Anything, girl stuff, whatever.
什么都可以女生的事随便什么
Um, okay. Okay.
好啊好
Okay. Okay.
好的好啊
You know what I was thinking is...
你知道我在想...
I would definitely rather turn into a little old man
我更想做一个老头
than a little old woman,
而不是老太婆
but I'm not going to be able to help it, you know?
但是我却无能为力
Oh my god.
我的天
Yes!
就是这样
Okay, you're weird and I literally love you.
你真是个怪人我好喜欢你
This is a party, girl.
这可是派对妹子
Do you ever straighten your hair, though?
你有没有把毛发拉直过
Oh, I just tried that for work, actually.
我之前为了工作刚试过
Wait, do you mean my head hair?
等等你是在说我的头发吗
No.
没有
All right, Abbi, pick a hand.
艾比选一只手
Um, I don't know.
我不知道
Right... Left?
右手...左手
Oh, looks like we're watching "The apprentice all-stars".
看来我们要看《飞黄腾达全明星季》了
Oh yeah, Omarossa.
奥玛罗莎
Good thing you chose the left, guess what the right was.
幸好你选了左手猜猜右边是什么
Abbi.
艾比
Abbi!
艾比
Come on.
快过来
What, dude, what?
怎么了什么事
Last night you got flesh pierced
昨晚你穿了鼻环
and tonight we're watching DVDs?
今晚我们居然要看DVD
I know, I'm sorry, like...
我知道很抱歉
The night's ruined.
今晚被毁了
No, no, the moment we got to the party
不不我一到这
I texted "Where party" to everybody in my phone.
就给手♥机♥里的人群发信息派对在哪里
Jaime's already pulled through.
海眉已经回复了
Dude, I can't just leave, I made a commitment.
我不能就这么走了我答应了别人
Jaime's having an actual party with our actual friends
海眉在和我们真正的朋友开真正的派对
who are actually having fun.
而且玩得很开心
We can't miss that.
我们不能错过
What am I supposed to say to Trey though?
我要怎么跟特雷说
You'll think of something.
你会想到的
Trey. Whassup!
特雷怎么啦
What's up, hey, what are you guys doing?
怎么了你们在做什么呢
Hey, uh, Trey, so...
嘿特雷那个...
I think we have to leave
我们要走了
'cause like, my stomach's kind of bothering me.
因为我有点胃疼
You think my lunas are tainted?
你觉得我的月亮能量棒是坏的吗
No.
没有
It's much worse.
比那更糟
I got off the phone with my doctor
我刚跟我的医生通完电♥话♥
and she told me that I have, um...
她跟我说我体内有...
a tapeworm.
一条绦虫
Abbi, that's really dangerous.
艾比这太危险了
I'm pretty sure tapeworms suck nutrients out of your body.
绦虫会吸取你身体的养分
That must be why you ate four and a half luna bars.
所以你才吃了四条半的月亮能量棒
Yeah.
是的
And I feel like it's moving, like, through my body.
而且我能感觉到它在我体内移♥动♥
I feel like it's moving and like, now it's in my
我感觉它在动现在到了我的
Bu-- uh...
屁♥股♥...
It's in my butt...
在我屁♥股♥里...
... Now.
...现在
So I should go to the hospital.
所以我必须去医院
Hey, guys.
朋友们
What? Guys, pause it.
怎么了停一下
Abbi had to go because she's got a tapeworm in her butt.
艾比得走了因为有条绦虫在她屁♥股♥里
She is such a riot.
她真的太有趣了
Gemma, no... No bazinga.
杰玛不...别开玩笑
So I just want to say
我只想说
I've been social media stalking you
自从海眉告诉我你是他的...无所谓啦
since Jaime told me you were his... whatever
我就一直在社交软件上视奸你
and I think you guys are diggity-diggity-dope, okay?
我觉得你们真的太酷了
Not like in a, like,
不像那种
"I can't wait to officiate your gay wedding" way,
"我已经迫不及待想去主持你的同性婚礼了"
'cause straight people always say that and it's like, gross.
因为异性恋总是那么说太恶心了
It just fetishizing their gay friends
就像在盲目崇拜他们的同性恋朋友
and it's, like, not cool.
一点都不酷
You know, maybe you guys won't get married.
也许你们不会结婚
Maybe you'll just for a hot second
也许你们只会短暂亲热下
and move on and that is hot too and cool.
然后就当做什么都没发生这也很性感很酷
So yeah, I just wanted to say that.
所以我就想说这些
You're Ilana, right?
你是阿♥拉♥娜对吗
How did you know?
你怎么知道的
We got it. That's so funny.
拍好了真有趣
I'm gonna post it to the 'gram!
我要发到gram上去
That's instagram, you guys. I know.
就是Instagram 我知道
I'm gonna use valencia, is that okay you think?
我要用瓦伦西亚滤镜你觉得可以吗
Ay, baby, everybody uses the valencia.
亲爱的每个人都用瓦伦西亚滤镜
What are you going to use?
不然你想用什么
The kelvin, I mean...
凯尔文吗拜托...
using the kelv-- no, that's silly, for goodness!
用凯尔文... 那太蠢了
For goodness.
天啊
We have a huge problem.
我们遇到大♥麻♥烦了
We have to leave right now.
我们必须马上离开这
Why?
为什么
The hottest person here is leaving.
这里最帅的人要走了
This party's going to be dead in three to five minutes.
这个派对在三到五分钟之内就会闫掉
I'm having fun.
我玩得很开心
You think you are.
你觉得你玩得很开心
But this party is a seven.
但是这个派对只能打七分
We could be missing out on a 10.
我们说不定错过了十分的呢
Yeah, but we leave and we end up at a six?
但要是下一个只有六分呢
I don't know, we kill ourselves, who cares?
我不知道自杀吧谁在乎啊
So if we did have to kill ourselves how would we do it?
所以如果我们真的要自杀该怎么做
I'd shoot you in the face and shoot myself in the heart.
我会朝着你的脸开一枪然后朝我的心脏开一枪
Oh my god.
我的天
Forget Siggy's, Lincoln has a better party.
别管西格的派对了林肯的派对更赞
Wait, why would you shoot me in the face?
等等为什么你要朝着我的脸开枪
Also, you said that really fast, dude.
而且你脱口而出
It's nice, you'd die instantly.
这很好啊你瞬间就会死掉
Well, then shoot me in the head, not in the face.
那朝我头上开枪吧不要朝着脸上
Okay, okay.
好的没问题
Yes. Wow.
棒
You guys missed it, I just did the worm.
你们错过了好戏我刚刚在模仿虫子
You can do the worm?
你可以模仿虫子
Yeah. You barely move.
对啊但你都不怎么动
What?
什么
Lincoln, I don't know if that's--
林肯我不知道这个...
No, let him have this.
别说了就让他跳吧
And I do, I do PEC jumps.
我也可以可以抖胸肌
Do that again.
再来一次
Is this a new shirt?
这是件新T恤吗
No.
不是
Drink, food, drink.
饮料食物饮料
Can you worm us there? Worm us there.
你可以带我们扭过去吗带我们扭过去
This charcuterie.
这盘熟食
They got dog dick, ghost poop, grapes
有狗鞭幽灵屎葡萄
And they got cornichons.
还有腌黄瓜
I love cornichons.
我喜欢腌黄瓜
Don't I look like a giant?
我看起来像不像巨人
That is so weird.
这真的太奇怪了
I was just googling micropenises this morning
我早上谷歌♥迷你鸡鸡