大城小妞（2014）

Broad City S02E04

Part 2 Oct. 14, 2020, 10:07 a.m.

If you-- if you want to.
如果你想的话
I definitely do.
我当然想
Oh-- That would be great.
那太好了
You got a little, um--
你脸上有点
I got you, come here.
我来吧过来
Okay, thanks.
好的谢谢
Oh, my God.
我的天
I'm kissing Jeremy.
我在亲杰瑞米
Oh, my God, I'm kissing Abbi.
我的天我在亲艾比
Ilana, I don't want you to eat sushi anymore, okay?
阿♥拉♥娜你别再吃寿司了好吗
What? Fukushima!
为什么因为福岛
The radiation levels are off the charts. Oh, give me a break.
辐射水平都爆表了得了吧
It's all over the Internet, I'm not making this shit up!
网上到处都是我又不是胡说八道的
You wanna talk nasty seafood?
你想说肮脏的海鲜是吗
I read a thing on "Buzzfeed" that said there's microscopic shrimp
我在Buzzfeed上看到说
in all of New York City drinking water.
纽约的饮用水里都有一种微小虾米
What?
什么
Copepods, they're called. No!
叫桡足类不可能
Yeah, Google it.
真的你自己谷歌♥
We have shrimp inside of us at all times,
我们体内一直都有小虾米
which I'm okay with, sounds delicious.
我倒不介意听起来很好吃
But it's like, ask me first?
但你总得提前问我一声吧
Now we're cooking with gas.
总算真正开始了
All the good shit is always down a manhole.
好东西都在人洞里面
How have we not done this sooner?
我们为什么没早点这样
I have no idea.
我也不知道
Do you want to maybe switch?
你想换一换吗
Mix it up a little bit?
换点口味
You sure?
你确定吗
Yeah, why not, right?
当然为什么不呢
Oh, awesome.
太好了
It's a Shinjo.
这是个Shinjo
Right in the butt.
插♥进♥菊花
Oh, my God!
我的天
Oh, you just meant switch positions?
你刚刚只是想换个体♥位♥吗
Yeah, but it's fine.
是啊不过也没关系
I-- I thought you were suggesting that we switch.
我以为你是说我们换一下角色
Yeah, it just caught me off guard,
只是有点突如其来
so I'm just getting, you know, the feel.
所以我还在消化
I'm so sorry. No, I-- Please.
抱歉不我给我吧
No, you know what? Just forget it.
你知道吗算了
I just need a minute. Just one minute. It's okay.
我需要一点时间就一会儿没事的
Stupid.
蠢蛋
Rachel Ackerman, Rachel Alterman,
给雷切尔·阿克曼雷切尔·奥特曼
Aunt Cherry.
切丽阿姨
Rabbi Stein, Rachel Lieberman.
拉比斯坦雷切尔·利伯曼
Joanne from the salon.
美发店的乔安妮
Cut or uncut?
割没割过包皮
Cut.
割了的
Ooh, elegant. And girth?
讲究人尺寸呢
Listen, dude, I'm freaking the fuck out right now.
听着姐们我凌乱了
So we were doing it,
我们正做着呢
and I was like, "We should switch positions,"
我就说 "我们换一下吧"
and then he throws me a strap-on.
然后他就丢给了我个穿戴式假阳♥具♥
Hold, please.
请稍等
Hello? I get one, too.
喂我自己也要一个
And I think the rest are just gonna be extras, so yeah.
剩下来的就是多的好了
Ilana, control yourself.
阿♥拉♥娜控制一下你自己
Excuse me, I'm on the phone.
不好意思我在打电♥话♥呢
Jesus, Ilana.
天阿♥拉♥娜
This is a dream come true.
这可是梦想成真
Thank you for sharing this with me.
感谢你与我分享
Dude, I'm calling for advice.
姐们我打电♥话♥可是来咨♥询♥的
Sorry.
抱歉
Okay, so start by lubing up the head and work--
好的首先润滑头部然后
No-- I'm not even sure I'm gonna do it.
不是我都不确定我是不是要这么做
What is not to know? This is once in a lifetime!
有什么好确定的这可是千载难逢的机会
It's going too fast.
进展太快了
Ab, all throughout college,
小艾读大学那会儿
I slept with a strap-on on,
我天天睡觉都戴着穿戴式假阳♥具♥
just in case the opportunity came along
就是为这种情况做准备
that you have handed to you on a fucking silver platter!
而你不劳而获就碰上了
I don't know, I just envisioned being with Jeremy in, like,
我说不好我曾设想过许多种
a lot of different ways, but not--
和杰瑞米在一起的样子但不是
not this way.
不是这样子
We are going to my grandmother's shiva, okay?
我们一会儿要参加我外婆的追悼会
The reason I'm, like, sitting and crying
而我会在那里坐着哭泣的唯一原因
is because that badass bitch did everything she ever wanted to.
是这女人把想做的事都做了
You want to go to the grave
你是想躺进坟墓的时候
dreaming of Jeremy's hairy, adorable little butthole?
幻想杰瑞米那毛茸茸可爱的小菊花
Or do you want to die knowing that you brought him pleasure
还是想在死的时候知道自己像女王般猛操他
by plowing it like a queen?
给他带来了快♥感♥
I just don't know, Ilana.
我没主意阿♥拉♥娜
Bitch, you know.
贱♥人♥ 你心里清楚的
You wouldn't have called me if you didn't.
不然的话你不会打电♥话♥给我
Turn around.
转身
Ab?
小艾
Ab?
小艾
Ab.
小艾
Ab!
小艾
Jeremy.
杰瑞米
Sorry to wake you.
抱歉吵醒你了
I volunteered to teach some underprivileged kids
我志愿参加了贫困儿童教学
how to do some woodworking today.
今天要去教他们做木工
I'm running a little bit late.
我要迟到了
Wow, that's beautiful.
太棒了
Listen, stay as long as you want.
听着想待多久待多久
Have a great day.
祝你度过愉快的一天
I mean, till tonight.
今晚见
She had, like, a tight physique.
她体格很强壮
She was awesome. Well-rounded human being.
她很棒全才一个
It's so nice to see you guys.
见到你们太好了
Oh, I love you so much.
我很爱你们
We love you, too. We love you, too, Dad.
我们也爱你我们也爱你爸
My dad didn't love me half as much as I love you guys.
我父亲爱我的程度不及我爱你们的一半
Okay. We know.
是啊我们知道
Oh, your mom is so broken up over this loss.
你们的母亲为这事很心痛
Poor Mommy.
可怜的妈妈
And the toll into the city? 13 bucks.
给市政♥府♥的税足足13美元
Now, you know that's going right into Bloomberg's pocket.
直接进了布隆伯格的口袋
Bloomberg isn't mayor anymore.
布隆伯格已经不做市长了
That's what he wants you to think!
这是他想让你这么以为的
Once again, these nipple clamps are not tight enough.
这些乳♥头♥夹还是不够紧
They keep popping off.
总是掉下来
Well, I'm sorry, ma'am.
抱歉女士
That's as tight as they get.
只能这么紧了
Have a nice day.
祝您愉快
Sir, so I have a-- I-- This morning, I was--
先生我有个我今早我
You tried to wash a dildo in a dishwasher?
用洗碗机洗假阳♥具♥了
I did indeed.
没错
Well, I don't think you're here for a staring contest.
你应该也不是来参加干瞪眼比赛的
Can I see it? Okay.
我能看一下吗可以
Thank you.
谢谢
Parabolic tearing.
抛物线型变形
Low curvature.
弯曲度较低
All right, let's get to work.
好了我们开工吧
That's it.
就是它了
Yeah.
没错
Okay, that'll be $79.
一共79美元
That's a lot.
不便宜啊