养育者

我保证
I promise.
我为你感到自豪
And I'm so proud of you.
我不意外你能考高分 但我真的很自豪
I mean, I'm not surprised. But I am so proud!
我们给你♥爸♥爸发短♥信♥吧
Um, hey, let's text your dad.
他要加班 这个消息会让他很高兴
He's working late. It will make his day.
-好啊 -也许我们可以
- Yeah. Sure. - And maybe we can
让他回家的时候买♥♥点冰淇淋
get him to pick up some ice cream on the way home.
因为大家都知道 甜食能治愈一切
Because it's a well-known fact that sugar cures everything.
除了糖尿病
Apart from diabetes.
是啊 我真是胡说八道
Yeah, I'm full of shit.
你没事吧
You okay?
但是艾娃
Ava, though, eh?
非常聪明
Ridiculously clever.
聪明的离谱
Hilariously clever.
这才是最重要的 不是吗
I mean, that's what it's all about, isn't it?
看着自己的孩子成长得比自己更优秀
Watching your child outgrow you.
比自己更聪明 她现在选什么专业都行了
Out-think you. I mean, she-- she could do anything now.
医学 法律 数据科学
Medicine, law. Data science.
-你知道数据科学是什么吗 -没人知道
- Do you even know what that is? - No one does.
这个孩子会大有出息
There's real hope for that one.
你意思是卢克就没有出息
What, does that make Luke the throwaway kid?
我真是 当然不 我不是这个意思
Fuck me ragged-- No, of cour-- I didn't mean that.
为什么 你有没有意识到你每次
Why-- Look, you-- you realize you do this thing
都要给我说的话挑刺
where you take something I say
曲解成糟糕的意思
and warp it into something quite sinister.
好吧 也许是因为...
Okay, well maybe that is because...
我太了解你会...
...I am so hyper-aware of how you can...
反应过度
overreact.
有时候...
You know, sometimes...
我感觉我和你相处时一直...
it feels like I'm constantly treading on...
-小心翼翼 我知道 -不不不
- You're on eggshells, I know, yeah. - No, no, no.
不是小心翼翼 是战战兢兢
Not on eggshells. On landmines.
-这更糟吗 -糟糕多了
- They're worse? - They're a lot worse.
明白了
Gotcha.
快 小姑娘 吃完
Come on, missus. Finish up.
你今天需要给大脑补充燃料
You need... brain fuel today.
我不确定巧克力酱也算大脑燃料
I'm not sure chocolate spread counts as brain fuel.
里面至少有13%的榛子呢
Hey, it's at least 13% hazelnuts.
你能行的 艾娃
You've got this, Ava.
你比我认识的所有人知道的都多
You know more stuff than anyone I've ever met,
而我认识爱因斯坦
and I've met Einstein.
爱因斯坦在20世纪50年代就死了
Einstein died in the 1950s.
你看 你看自己知道那么多
You see? You see what you know?
你会很棒的 亲爱的
You'll be great, love.
我只是...不知道
I just... I don't know.
我今天的预感不太好
I have a bad feeling about today.
但我得去做准备了...
But I need to go get ready, so...
你没事吧
You all right there?
没事...就是活动一下脖子和背
Yes... stretching out my neck and back.
-真好 -什么 我活动筋骨吗
- This is nice. - What, me stretching?
这没什么 你该听听我站起来时膝盖的声音
That's nothing, you should hear my knees click when I stand up.
不是...是我们在好好相处 我很怀念
No, this, just... you and me getting on. I've missed that.
所以他们才让人六个月来一次
That's why they make you come every six months.
让人感情保持稳定
Keep your relationship intact.
我不想让你再战战兢兢了
I don't want you to be walking on landmines anymore.
-我也不想 -你不怕我吧
- I don't either. - You're not scared of me, are you?
你知道吗 这就是潜在的爆雷时刻
You-- you see now, this is a potential landmine moment.
-明白了 -没错
- Oh, right. Okay. - It is.
事情得改变一下了 是吗
Well, things need to change, don't they?
到了《拆弹雄心》环节 我要排雷
So fucking Hurt Locker time. I'm gonna clear the mines.
就跟戴安娜王妃一样
Like Princess Di.
我觉得她没有亲自去排地雷
I don't think she personally cleared the mines.
对 她会让
No, she would have used
-大脸管家去排地雷 是吧 -对
- that big-faced butler to do it, wouldn't she? - Yeah.
这一切都很艰难 不是吗
Difficult, innit, all this?
是啊
Yeah.
我们投入到为人父母的阶段
I mean, you jump into being a parent,
而且很确信...
and you're... convinced
我们会是自己人生电影的英雄
that you're gonna be the hero in your own film,
结果突然一下子 我们变成了坏人
and then, bang, you're the bad guy.
那个女人到底是有多少牙垢
How much tartar has that woman got?
跟在打磨地面一样
It's like sanding fucking floor boards.
但英雄也可能会让人觉得无聊 保罗
Heroes can be boring, though, Paul.
有时候坏人更性感
You know, sometimes the bad guy is sexier.
说得非常对
That's very true.
我得上厕所
I need a piss.
所以就是搭飞机模型之类的
So it would be making, like, model aeroplanes and stuff.
是的 其实想搭什么模型都行
Yeah. Or anything you fancy, really.
模型制♥作♥社团一定会超级酷的
Model Building Club is gonna be ultra cool.
-太好了 -精确地微缩交通工具
- Great! - Accurate transport miniatures,
在一个安静 通风良好的房♥间里精心组装
painstakingly assembled in a quiet, well-ventilated room.
-每个人都会想加入的 -是吗
- Everyone will want to join. - Will they?
"是吗"个鬼 我是在反讽
"Will they" balls. I'm using sarcasm.
但人越少 社团越酷
But the fewer members, the cooler it is.
模型制♥作♥就像是工艺品界的黑胶唱片收藏
Model making is like the vinyl collecting of the craft world.
-算我一个 -棒极了
- Oh, count me in. - Excellent.
露比的事谢谢你相信我
Thanks for believing me about the Ruby thing.
可能她需要做她自己的事
Maybe she just needs to do her own thing, you know.
探索她到底是谁 她想要的是什么
Sort of explore who she really is and what she wants.
对 可能吧
Yeah, maybe.
-给你 -谢谢你 宝贝
- Hey. Here. - Thanks, babe.
不用谢
You're welcome.
她的成绩现在肯定出来了
Her results should be up by now, surely.
还没 我刚去看的时候她还在刷新网页
No, she was still refreshing the page when I last checked.
这就像买♥♥格拉斯顿伯里音乐节的票似的
It's like trying to get tickets for Glastonbury.
-我们不能查一下吗 -不行
- Can't we just have a look? - No!
我们说过了让她自己查
We said she was gonna do it.
模拟考她考了多少 九十...
So what did she get in the mocks? 90...
-94分 -她没问题的 对吧
- 94. - Well, she'll be home and dry, won't she?
别乱说话
Oh... don't jinx it.
你听起来跟我妈似的
You sound like my mum.
"别说这种晦气话 保罗"
"Don't put the mockers on it, Paul."
-别这样 就是... -"别说"
- No, just... - "No."
我感觉怪怪的
I've got an odd feeling about it.
她进去时好像不太有信心
She didn't seem very confident going in.
管他呢 很快就知道了
Anyway... we'll find out soon,
然后我们就可以开始吃咖喱了
and then we can stuff our faces with curry.
没错没错
Yes, yes, yes.
喂 你看看外卖♥♥到哪里了
Hey. Can you see where the delivery guy is?
我来瞧一瞧
Mm, let's have a look.
他快到了
Yeah, he's nearby.
他在搞什么 别走那边 你...
He's... Fuck is he doing? Don't go that way, you...
跟踪订单
那得好久才能到 不是吗
That's gonna take ages, isn't it?
因为现在
Oh, 'cause-- well, now
他显然开着车绕了好几栋楼
apparently he's driving over some buildings...
就跟在参加怪物卡车拉力赛似的
like he's in some fuckin' monster truck rally.
那个...
So...
看到他们又玩在一起真好 奇怪的一对
It's good to see them back together again. The odd couple.
我知道 另外 雅各布给我
I know. Plus, Jacob gives me
介绍了整个东南部
the skinny on all the best artisan cheeses
最好的手工奶酪 所以...
in the whole of the south-east, so...
那么小的身体里怎么住了这么个老家伙
How did such an old man wind up in that tiny body?
他是雅各布·巴顿
He's Jacob Button.
成绩呢
So...
56分
56.
什么
What?
不可能
Uh, that-- that can't be right.
你是不是 会不会
Did-- Have you-- Did you make a mistake
登录账号♥写错了或者...
with the login details somehow or...
我的成绩就这样 爸爸