喜新不厌旧（2014）

Black-ish S01E21

Part 2 Dec. 23, 2020, 4:30 p.m.

Look, Dre,
话说 Dre
what have you done to punish Zoey?
你怎么惩罚Zoey了
I took away her phone. Smart.
我拿走她的手♥机♥了机智
So you can check out all her Snapchats, Tumblr,
所以你就能检查她的Snapchats Tumblr
Tinder, Grindr.
Tinder Grindr
I'm on all of 'em.
这些我都在用
Pretty lonely, you guys.
兄弟们我太寂寞了
Hey, thinking about getting a cat.
嘿我在考虑要不要养只猫
Social media is the wild, wild west. Mmhmm.
社交媒体乱得无法无天嗯哼
I read about some teens running a prostitution ring on Instagram.
我听说过有些青少年在Instagram上经营卖♥♥淫集团
kids these days!
现在的小孩们啊
So much hustle.
真努力赚钱啊
You have got to keep tabs on your kids at all times.
你必须得时刻监视着你家孩子
And technology will let you do that.
科技让你有机会这么做
Like right now my boys are...
例如我家孩子现在
In my kitchen,
正在我厨房♥
filling a gunnysack full of cantaloupes.
装填着一麻袋的柑橘
Ooh. Can't go home right now.
喔现在可不能回家
Amidst their insanity,
除掉那些疯言疯语
my co-workers had some good advice...
我的同事们还是有点好主意的
violate my daughter's federally protected right to privacy.
那就是侵犯我女儿的隐私权
Now that you've cloned fingerprint,
现在你已经克隆了指纹
use it to bypass phone security.
用它来绕过手♥机♥的安全保护系统
Bang! I'm in!
哈我进去了
Is that Zoey's phone? Uhhuh.
这是Zoey的手♥机♥吗嗯哈
I broke into her snapchat account
我黑进了她的snapchat账户
with the help of this Russian YouTube hacker.
多亏了油管上的俄♥罗♥斯♥黑客的帮助
It's called parenting.
这叫管孩子
It's called a heinous invasion of privacy.
这叫可耻地侵犯隐私权
See? That's your problem. You're too pro-kid.
看见没这就是你的问题你太惯着孩子了
"Oh, kids are people, too." Blah, blah, blah.
"喔孩子也是人" Blah Blah Blah
Loosey-goosey parenting like that
这么松的管教
is what made things like James Franco.
才导致了James Franco这种人的出现
He took a chance at the oscars.
他只是刚好在奥斯卡上出了状况
Bow, you really need to learn how to say "No."
Bow 你真的应该学会说"不"
I know how to say "No." Do you?
我会说"不" 你真的会吗
Hmm? Yes.
嗯好
Yes.
好
Yes.
好
Well, it's better than only knowing how to say "No."
这总胜过只会说"不"吧
May I No.
我可以不
Can you No.
你能不
I got an "A"! No.
我得了"A" 不
I don't even think you can say the word "Yes."
我甚至都不觉得你能说"好"
No, I can.
不我可以
Unbelievable. Here's what it looks like
无语了这就是当你想成为
when you try to become best friends...
女儿最好的朋友的时候
Mmhmm. Yep. With your daughter.
嗯嗯对会发生的事情
Huh. Look at Zoey's friend Maya.
哈看看Zoey的朋友Maya
She's best friends with her mom. Mmhmm.
她和她妈妈是好朋友嗯哼
And that's why I'm looking at pictures of her new boobs
这就是为啥我正欣赏她的新咪♥咪♥照呢
and her mom's.
还有她妈妈的哦
Look at Zoey's pal Sarah... Mmhmm.
你瞧瞧Zoey的闺蜜Sarah 嗯哼
In what looks to be an invisible bikini.
穿得貌似是啥隐形比基尼
Look at the crew she hangs with!
看看她这帮狐朋狗友
These are the people... Okay.
这些人就是好啦
That our baby girl... Enough! Enough.
我们宝贝姑娘够了够了
You need to stop now, Dre. Stop.
你不能再这样了 Dre 给我停
Okay.
好吧
Oh, my God. What?
我的天哪怎么了
Wait. Is that Zoey? That's Zoey. Let me see.
等等这是Zoey吗这是Zoey 我瞧瞧
Oh, my God. She's holding a cigarette!
我的天哪她竟然拿着一根烟
And reclining on a motorcycle!
还倚在一辆摩托上
Okay, in her defense,
好吧我得帮她说句话
that's an e-cigarette and... and a Vespa.
那是一根电子烟还有那只是辆Vespa好吗
Bow! You're right!
Bow 你说的没错
She's gonna have a toilet baby,
她就要生个厕所娃了
and we're gonna be toilet grandparents.
我们要做厕所娃的外公外婆了
You still wanna be her best friend,
你还想做她的好朋友吗
or do you wanna drop the hammer?
还是要力挽狂澜以正门风
It's hammer time. Damn straight.
是时候给她点颜色瞧瞧了就是这样
Doggy's off the chain. Woof! Woof!
关门放狗汪汪
Woof! Woof!
汪汪
Look, you cannot let Zoey know we have access to her phone.
听我说你决不能让Zoey知道我们偷看她手♥机♥了
We have to hide the ball. "Imitation Game." Okay.
我们要绝对隐蔽 "模仿游戏" 好的
Got it. All right.
懂你好的
A man listening to hype music
一边听着这么酷炫的劲歌♥
while referencing a gay British wartime math movie. You are a
一边还引用一个英国战时数学基片的男人你简直
delightful bundle of contradictions. Unh!
是谜一样的可爱男人啊
Okay. All right, look. It's go time.
好了好了听着是时候行动了
All right, the kids will never know what hit 'em.
好了我们出其不意坐等孩子们傻眼
Hear me, children! New family rules coming at you!
孩子们听我说新的家庭守则诞生了
For all of us? What did we do?
针对我们全体吗我们做错啥了
Yeah. We all know Zoey's the bad seed.
是啊我们都知道Zoey才是那颗老鼠屎
Hey! Shh!
喂嘘
Rules are a warm security blanket,
规定就像一张暖暖的安全毯
smothering all uncertainty.
能抚平所有未知的不安
Exactly.
就是啊
We called this meeting so that we can have an open dialogue
我们召开这次家庭会议是为了大家能开诚布公的谈谈
and work together
共同努力
Oh! Boom!
啊嘣
Um... hmm?
呃嗯
What's that? Oh!
这是什么噢
This is "The 10,000 commandments."
这是"一万条戒律"
Commandment number 1...
戒律第一条
"Thou shall not..." Is he serious?
"尔等不得" 他来真的
Uh, yes.
呃是啊
Commandment 1B...
戒律第一条B项
"Thou shall not interrupt the giver of commandments."
"尔等不得打断此戒律制定者"
"...no TV, Internet,"
"晚十点后不得观看电视"
"Or parental requests"
"不得上网"
"after 10 p.m."
"不得再烦父母"
But... Aah, aah, aah!
可是不不不
But... but... Now in the "Should go without saying" section
可是可是现在进入"无条件遵守"章节
"No driving without a license."
"不得无照驾驶"
"and no hanging out with dopes that will hold you back."
"不得同拖后腿的笨蛋厮混"
But we share a room.
可是我们住一间房♥诶
I'm going to punch you in the back while you're asleep.
我要趁你睡着的时候从背后给你一拳
Nobody's punching anybody in the back
谁都不能趁人家睡觉的时候
while they're asleep.
从背后给人家来一拳
And if you find something laying in the middle of the street
还有要是你发现啥躺在街心
that's not quite dead,
还没死翘翘的东西
thou shall not put it in your sock drawer.
尔等不得捡回放入你的袜屉里
What if you already named it "Gus"?
可要是你都已经给它起名"Gus"了呢
Gus must go.
那 Gus也必须得给我走
Probably wasn't gonna make it through the night anyway.
反正它大概也熬不过今晚吧
Mom, does this not all seem crazy to you?
妈难道你不觉得这些很扯淡吗
Dre. Huh?
Dre 啊
Um... Could we have a little sidebar in the kitchen?
呃我们能去厨房♥那边小谈片刻吗
Fine.
好的
But I will be obeyed.
不过你们会乖乖听话的
And yes... I'm talking to you.
没错我就是在跟你讲话
What was that?
这是什么鬼
I was about to ask you the same thing.
我倒想问问你呢
Me? And what was up with
问我你来这么多
this undermining chicken routine?
小鸡语是什么意思
Huh?! Every time I spoke, you were like,
哈我一说话你就
"But, but, but, but, but, but, but, but..."
"可可可可可可可"
Dre, your rules are over the top.
Dre 你的戒律太过分了
These are children. Mmhmm.
他们还是孩子诶嗯哼