喜新不厌旧（2014）

Black-ish S01E05

Part 1 Dec. 23, 2020, 4:24 p.m.

This is me about to whup my son.
我正要开始教育我儿子
How the hell did we get here?
我们是怎么变成这样的
Well, every whupping usually has
往往这种教育都会有
a beginning, middle, and end.
开始经过和结尾
And the beginning usually starts
而故事通常都是
with someone acting a complete ass.
因为某人的混♥蛋♥引发的
Jack! Jack! Where are you, Jack?!
Jack Jack 你在哪儿 Jack
Not her.
不是她
Oh, my God, you guys! My son is gone!
天啊注意我儿子不见了
He's been kidnapped!
他被绑♥架♥了
He's little. He's black. He's really cute!
他很小是个黑人他很可爱
Who wouldn't kidnap him? It was only a matter of time!
谁不想绑♥架♥他呢这只是时间问题
Ma'am... He's very small!
女士他还很小
Ma'am, calm down. To calm down?!
女士冷静下来冷静下来
Listen to me!
你给我听好
I'm gonna fast-forward
我要快进
through what my wife said to Officer Hernandez.
我妻子对Hernandez警官讲的话
It doesn't show her in the most flattering light.
这并不是展现她最优美的时刻
But I think it's a good reminder to all of us
但是我想这是给大家的一个提醒
that you never tell a frantic black woman
永远不要告诉一个疯狂的黑人女性
to "Calm down."
"冷静下来"
You got to go find my... What are you doing?!
你得去找我的你在做什么
Go! Go! Yes, ma'am.
快去快去好的女士
Jack!
Jack
Jack, where are you?!
Jack 你在哪儿
Oh, God!
天啊
Jack!
Jack
Remember the ass I mentioned earlier?
还记得我之前提到的混♥蛋♥吗
Here he is... our son.
他在这儿我们的儿子
Mommy loves you! Oh, God.
妈咪很爱你天啊
He'd hidden again.
他又躲起来了
It was a game to him.
这对他来说是个游戏
A game we all hated called
一个我们都憎恨的游戏
"Jack's missing and may be in a white van with no windows."
一个叫做"Jack也许在没有窗户的白货车里失踪了"
I found him! He's okay!
我找到他了他没事
Oh, God. Oh, my God!
天啊天啊
Everyone's okay. Whew!
大家都没事
I love a happy ending.
我爱这个美满大结局
Were you hiding?!
你是去躲起来了吗
Were you hiding in there?!
你躲在这里了吗
You scared the hell out of me.
你可把我吓死了了
Did you not hear calling your name?!
你没听见有人在喊你名字吗
I'm gonna go ahead and fast-forward again
我得要再快进一下了
because I don't think you can say these things to a child.
因为我觉得你们没办法对一个孩子说这些话
When we get home,
等我们回家
your father is going to spank you!
你♥爸♥要打你屁♥股♥
Did you hear what she just said?
你们听见她说了什么吗
Let me play it back for you.
我给你们回放
When we get home,
等我们回家
your father is going to spank you!
你♥爸♥要打你屁♥股♥
Let's go. Can you believe her?
我们走你能相信她吗
She got to be judge, jury, and made me executioner.
她是法官陪审团让我当行刑者
Not cool, Bow. Not cool. Oh, my God.
Bow 这样不好很不好天啊
Is that me? Oh, God. Ma'am?
是我吗天啊女士
Oh! Oh! Oh, really?! Give me... Give me the bag, please.
噢噢噢真的吗给我请把袋子给我
Oh, I see. I see.
我明白了
It takes you two hours to find a little black boy,
你们得花两个小时找一个黑人小男孩
and then you're here in two seconds
你们只要用两秒
when I accidentally steal a clutch?!
就能发现我无意偷了个钱包
Well, you know what? I'm keeping it!
你们知道吗我要留下这个
That's right. I'm keeping it!
没错我要留下这个
I thought our son was gone!
我以为我们儿子丢了
I am not spanking him.
我才不要打他屁♥股♥
Look, pops used to spank me
我爸曾经为了乐趣
with a hot wheels track for sport.
用风火轮车轨打我屁♥股♥
That's how he got his name... pops.
这是他名字的由来啪
You'd just be sitting there, minding your own business,
你只是坐在那儿做自己的事
and then, out of no place, pop!
然后突然一下啪
For no good reason.
毫无缘由
You're not listening to me!
你没在在听我说话
Okay, this is very serious!
这很严重
This hiding thing has got to stop,
躲起来这件事必须得停止
and Jack needs to be taught a lesson.
Jack需要上一课
Well, if you want to spank him so bad,
如果你这么想打他屁♥股♥
why don't you do it yourself?
为什么你自己不打他呢
Because you're the spanker, Dre.
因为你才是打屁♥股♥的那个 Dre
I did it one time.
我只打过一次
One more than me.
那也比我多一次
That's because you were eight months' pregnant with the twins.
那是因为你当时怀双胞胎八个月
And you said if you spanked him, you would go into labor!
你说如果你打了他你就要开始分娩了
Well, it's not my fault
这不是我的错
that you have no idea how the human body works.
你又不明白人体是怎么运作的
Bow, I can't do it again.
Bow 我没办法再做一次
Spanking Junior put me in the bed for three days!
打Junior屁♥股♥让我在床上躺了三天
He shed that one tear like Denzel in "Glory,"
他流出那滴眼泪好像Denzel在"光荣战役"里一样
and I cried like Whoopi in "Color Purple."
我哭得像Whoopi在"紫色姐妹花"里一样
But that's not the point.
但这不是重点
Because we said that we would punish him,
因为我们说过会惩罚他
and we need to follow through.
我们得贯彻到底
No, you promised, now you want me to follow through.
不是你承诺的现在你想让我贯彻到底
Okay, I feel like you're blaming me for this.
我感觉你在因此责怪我
I am blaming you for this!
我是在责怪你
Bow, it's your fault!
Bow 都是你的错
I can still remember Junior's face
我仍记得Junior
the day I spanked him.
那天我打了他的样子
I just hope the memory of that whupping has faded.
我希望挨打的记忆会褪色
It was the Thursday of a leap year.
那是一个闰年的星期四
The air was crisp.
空气很新鲜
The sky was blue.
天空很蓝
And the belt was black!
皮带很黑
I don't want to hear anymore!
我不想再听了
Not even about the color of my tears?
连我眼泪的颜色都不想知道吗
They were red!
它们是红色的
Aah!
啊
Okay, don't be mean. He's scared.
好了不要这么坏他很害怕
He should be.
他应该害怕
It's terrifying.
这很吓人
I mean, not for me. I'm too old to be spanked.
不是对我我已经大到不会被打屁♥股♥了
I've aged out.
我超出年龄范围了
Where'd you hear that, Junior?
你是从哪听说的 Junior
Well, I mean, I'm 13 now.
我是说我13岁了
That means I'm out of the whupping window.
这意味我已经远离被打的范畴了
Yeah, but you still have an ass, don't you?
没错但是你还是有屁♥股♥的吧
That means you're still in the window.
这就意味着你还在范畴里
My research shows we have legal options...
我的研究表明我们有法律手段
Emancipation, extrication,
解放解脱
and, if all else fails, relocation.
如果都失败了重新安置
Damn, Diane.
Diane
I wish I had you when I divorced grandma.
我和你奶奶离婚的时候要是有你就好了
Might've held on to my Lincoln.
也许能留住我的林肯
You're just messing with me, right?
你是在糊弄我对吧
I mean, nobody's gonna spank a 9th grader, right?
没人会打一个九年级孩子的屁♥股♥
What's age got to do with it?
这和年龄有什么关系
I spanked your daddy
你♥爸♥从大学回家的那个暑假
when he came home for the summer from college.
我还打他屁♥股♥了呢
He was all, "Oh, I'm in college, now.
他是一幅"我现在是大学生了
Listen to how smart my mouth is."
听听我说的话有多聪明"
I was like, "Pop!"
我就这样"啪"
Okay, come on, pops.
好吧爷爷
We all know no one spanks anymore.
我们都知道没人会再挨打了