非典型少年（2017）

things are good between us again.
我们之间又有了好转
I mean, not good but, you know, better.
还不算好 但有好转了
This is exciting.
真令人兴奋
I know.
我知道
Yeah.
是啊
No.
不
On second thought, let's see how it looks by the TVs.
再三考虑 还是放到电视旁边看看吧
Thanks, buddy.
谢谢 哥们
Sam, it's so fun being bossy.
山姆 指手画脚好有趣
That's why Beyoncé couldn't ban that word.
怪不得碧昂丝不能禁用这个词
Also, who bans a word? That's bossy.
再说 谁还能禁用词汇？ 太指手画脚了吧
I know who stole the turquoise Fitbit,
我知道是谁偷了蓝绿色Fitbit手环
but Casey said I should tell you before I tell Bob.
但凯茜说在我告诉鲍勃之前 应该先告诉你
And as the acting manager of Techtropolis,
作为现代家电行的代理经理
I coend your for your allegiance
我赞赏您的忠诚
and award you one extra pee break.
并且奖励你多一次小便休息
It was Gretchen.
是格雷琴
My Gretchen? Impossible.
我的格雷琴？不可能
The only thing she's ever stolen is my heart.
她唯一偷过的东西就是我的心
Well, then she's stolen your heart and a turquoise Fitbit.
那她就偷过了你的心 和蓝绿色Fitbit手环
Look, Sam, I don't wanna lord my new power over you,
听着 山姆 我不想用 我新到手的权力来压你
but with that sort of accusation,
但这种等级的指控
I'm gonna need some hard evidence. Sure.
恐怕需要有铁证才行 好的
You can tell it's her because of her scowl.
你能认得出是她 因为她一副臭脸
Shrinkage.
损耗
What?
什么？
Every company this size expects that customers will on occasion...
所有这种规模的公♥司♥都会预计 会有顾客偶尔
remove items from the store without paying for them.
不付钱就从商店拿走东西
Stealing. It's called shrinkage, Sam.
-盗窃 -这叫损耗 山姆
And it's built into the price of every single item.
已经都算到每一件物品的价格里去了
Honestly, it'd be more unusual if someone didn't take a Fitbit once in awhile.
老实说 要是没人时不时 偷走Fitbit手环才是不寻常呢
No, the employee handbook says that if we see someone steal,
不 员工手册说过 要是我们发现有人盗窃
we have to report it to Bob.
就得报告给鲍勃
Who are you trying to protect here, Sam, Jn Jay Techtropolis or the little guy?
你到底想要保护谁 山姆 约翰杰现代家电还是小人物？
Aka, my hometown honey, who's just trying to stay fit.
也就是我家的宝贝 只不过想要保持身材
I'm not trying to protect anyone.
我没有想要保护任何人
I'm just following the rules. Exactly.
-我只是照章办事 -没错
Is Gretchen really the sort of person
格雷琴真的已经沦落到
who deserves to have her perfectly syetrical face pinned
要把她完美对称的脸
onto the wall of shame?
钉到耻辱墙上的程度了吗？
I mean, she didn't masturbate in the massage chair.
她又没有在按♥摩♥椅上自♥慰♥
She didn't leave a Snickers bar in the display microwave
她又没有把士力架放到展示微波炉里
so people would think it's a turd.
让别人觉得那是粪便
That's true.
这也没错
Please, Sam. Do this for me.
求你了 山姆 就算是为了我
I...
我…
I don't know. Don't forget.
-我不知道 -别忘了
I've gotten you out of a lot of pickles.
我帮你解决了很多麻烦
I have a pickle.
我遇到麻烦了
H I'm all ears.
洗耳恭听
I have proof that Zahid's girlfriend stole from Techtropolis,
我有证据证明扎希德的女朋友 从现代家电行偷了东西
where we both work,
我们都在那里工作
but Zahid said I shouldn't turn her in because of shrinkage,
但扎希德说我不应该 就因为损耗就告发她
and if I do, I only really care about Jn Jay Techtropolis,
就因为我只关心约翰杰现代家电
which by the way, is not his real name, I looked it up.
顺便说一下 这不是他的真名 我查过
so clearly you're taking the deontological approach,
显然你采取了道义的方式
whereas this Zahid character, well, he's turning it into a virtue issue.
然而这个扎希德的角色 他变成了道德问题
That's fascinating.
太迷人了
No, not fascinating.
不 不迷人
I'm confused why my friend would ask me to ignore company protocol
我感觉迷惑 不知道为什么 我的朋友要求我忽略公♥司♥章程
and cover up a Class C misdemeanor.
隐瞒一起C类轻罪
So Zahid is a friend?
所以扎希德是一位朋友？
My best friend.
我最好的朋友
Okay, thought experiment, Sam.
好的 思维实验 山姆
Is Zahid the sort of person who makes morally questionable decisions?
扎希德是那种会做出 道德上有疑问决定的人吗？
Anybody want some froyo?
有人想吃冻酸奶吗？
What? Samples are free.
什么？样品是免费的
You can kiss someone if they're married as long as they're not happily married.
你可以吻已婚的人 只要他们婚姻不幸福
You're actually doing them a favor, and favors are nice.
你是在帮他们的忙 帮忙是好事
Yo, Sam, my health insurance just went up.
哟 山姆 我的医保涨价了
Would you mind dropping this on my foot so I can get some sweet workers comp?
你介意把这个砸到我脚上 好让我拿点工伤赔偿吗？
Not without a morally sound explanation.
但都有道德上合理的解释
Keep in mind there are different friends for different seasons,
要记得不同的季节有不同的朋友
and maybe this just isn't the right season for Zahid.
或许现在并不是适合扎希德的季节
What, fall? No.
-什么 秋季？ -不
I'm saying friends come and go.
我是说朋友有来有去
You know what you should really take a look at?
你知道你该读什么吗？
Kant's Critique of Pure Reason.
康德的《纯粹理性批判》
It's a bit too utilitarian for my taste,
我觉得有点太功利了
but if you can get past the first 300 pages, I think you'll see
但如果你能熬过前300页 我觉得你会…
I don't wanna toot my own horn,
我不想自吹自擂
but I am crushing my return from maternity leave.
但我的产假归来厉害到爆
I've already taught a class,
我已经上过一节课
had three meetings and gotten a head-start on my grant application.
开了三个会 还抢先提交了资金申请
Full steam ahead!
全速前进
But really, how are you?
但是… 你真的怎么样？
Truly honestly, never better.
真的说老实话 再好不过了
Julia.
朱莉娅？
Maybe I miss Hanzo a tiny bit.
或许有点想念半藏
Julia.
朱莉娅？
And maybe some of my classes are further away than I'd like.
或许有些课的距离超出了我的预计
Julia.
朱莉娅？
I just crumped in a janitor's closet!
我才在清洁工的房♥间里哭吸了
Crumped, like...
哭吸 像是…
No, it's cry while pumping.
不 是一边哭一边吸奶
It's been happening so much I developed a shorthand.
发生太多次了 我都开♥发♥出了短语
honey. Come.
噢 宝贝 过来
My classes are clear across campus, and I can't get back here in time to pump
我的课都横跨了校园 我没法及时赶回来吸奶
so janitor's closet.
所以只能去清洁工的房♥间
It's just too much!
太过头了
You know, being a new mom, teaching classes,
要做新妈妈 上课
doing research, trying to get published.
做演讲 还要试图发表文章
Even if I gave up sleeping, there wouldn't be enough hours in a day.
就算我放弃睡眠 一天的时间也不够用
I know because I've done it.
我知道 因为我试过了
Finally.
你终于来了
You've been gone forever, I have so much to tell you.
你离开了太久 我有好多事想告诉你
Zahid wants me to lie to protect his terrible girlfriend as a favor.
扎希德想要我撒谎 帮忙保护他糟糕的女友
Sam And he helps me all the time.
-山姆 -而他经常帮我的忙
When Stumpy had a parasite, he dragged trainer Malik away from the otters.
胖墩长了寄生虫的时候 是他把 马利克训练员从水獭那里拖了过来
Do you know how hard it is to get someone away from the otters? They're so cute.
你知道把人从水獭那里 拖开有多难吗？它们太可爱了
Okay, Sam...
好了 山姆
I'm happy to see you, but my office hours are just for my students.
我很高兴见到你 但我的工作时间都是留给我的学生的
But I do host a board game night every other week for students on the spectrum.
但我每隔一周都会给有孤独症的学生 主办桌游之夜
We talk, eat pizza...
我们聊天 吃披萨
You should come.
你应该来
How do these students feel about Bananagrams?
这些学生觉得香蕉拼字游戏如何？
Big fans.
非常喜欢
Okay.
好的
Maybe.
或许吧
Sam.
山姆？
It sounds like maybe Zahid has forgotten who he is.
听起来扎希德忘记了自己是谁
Like amnesia?
就像失忆？
No, like he's changing himself.
不 他在改变自己
Well, I haven't forgotten who he is. In fact, I have it all written down.
我没有忘记他是谁 实际上 我都写了下来
Like every explorer worth his salt,
就像每一位优秀的探险家
I keep meticulous records of my journeys.
我一丝不苟地记录了我的旅程
Where I go,
我去了哪里
what I learn.
学到了什么
Because you never know when you'll need valuable wisdom.
因为你不知道什么时候 用得上宝贵的智慧
Or to remind a good friend who he used to be.
或是提醒你的好友 他曾是什么样子