非典型少年（2017）

我是个怪胎 大家都这么说
I'm a weirdo. That's what everyone says.
有时候 我不知道别人说的话是什么意思
Sometimes, I don't know what people mean when they say things,
这让我觉得很孤独
and that can make me feel alone
就算屋子里面有其他人也于事无补
even when there are other people in the room.
我能做的就是坐在那 笔拨皮
And all I can do is sit and twiddle,
这是我给我的自我刺♥激♥动作起的名字
which is what I call my self-stimulatory behavior,
我一边用铅笔
when I flick a pencil
以固定的频率拨弄橡皮筋
against a rubber band at a certain frequency
一边想我从来都做不到的各种事情
and think about all the things that I could never do,
比如在南极研究企鹅 或者交个女朋友
like research penguins in Antarctica or have a girlfriend.
我不知道 我想去南极
I don't know. I'd like to go to Antarctica.
那里很安静
It's quiet there...
除了企鹅用于繁殖的栖息地以外
except in the rookeries, where the penguins breed.
那可不安静 一点都不安静
Those aren't quiet. No, sir.
回答完毕
I'm finished with my answer.
很好
Great.
今天就到这里吧 很不错 山姆
Almost done for today. Good session, Sam.
我能看见你的内衣 紫色的
I can see your bra. It's purple.
我还想探讨一件事情
Um, there was one more thing I wanted to discuss.
我不需要你现在就答复
And I don't need your answer now,
但是我会问所有的患者 是否愿意
but I'm asking all my clients if they'd be willing
为研究工作捐献自己的大脑
to donate their brains for research.
捐献我的大脑
Donate my brain?
在你死后
After you die.
现在大脑组织非常匮乏
There's such a shortage of brain matter available,
而且 你也知道 这东西又没有替代品
and, you know, there's no substitute for the real thing.
考虑考虑吧
Just think about it.
-好的 -对了 山姆
- Okay. - And, hey, Sam,
你刚才提到想交女朋友
what you said earlier about having a girlfriend?
自闭症的人也会约会的
People in the spectrum date, you know?
如果你想的话 你可以试着找人约会
You can try to find someone, if you wanted to.
-怎么找 -你自己去试试就好了
- How? - You just have to put yourself out there.
去哪试
Out where?
公交车还凑合
Buses are okay,
但是我不喜欢后背挨着座椅的感觉
but I don't like the feeling of the seat on my back,
所以我这样坐着
so I sit like this.
我不知道别人是怎么忍♥着的
I don't know how people stand it.
也许他们坐公交坐多了
Maybe they've developed
进化出了更厚的后背皮肤
thicker back skin from riding the bus so much.
有一种南极鳕鱼 血液里有特殊的蛋白质
There's a type of Antarctic cod that has a special protein
能防止被冻僵
in its blood that stops it from freezing.
鱼体内的防冻液
Antifreeze in fish.
我刚才在想南极鳕鱼来着
I was just thinking about Antarctic cod.
南极洲是地球上最偏僻的大♥陆♥
Antarctica is the most remote continent on the planet.
全世界百分之九十的冰都在那里
It has 90% of the world's ice,
但是因为其年均降雨量只有八英寸左右
but it's considered a desert because the annual rainfall
被认定为沙漠
is only about eight inches.
你看着它的时候肯定不会认为它是沙漠
You wouldn't think it was a desert when you looked at it.
这就是我喜欢它的原因
That's why I like it.
不可相貌
It's not what it looks like.
山姆 吃晚饭啦
Sam! Dinner!
我订了山姆喜欢的T恤 批发的
So, I ordered those T-shirts that Sam likes, in bulk...
百分百纯棉的
you know, 100% cotton...
结果他们换成了什么"三混"的
and they switched them to something that they called "Tri-blend."
我就给那家公♥司♥打了电♥话♥
So I called the company,
跟一个叫利兹瓦娜的女的谈了
and I spoke to this woman named Rizwana.
我觉得她是印度人
I think I was speaking with India.
不管怎么说
But, anyway, um...
她找到了一箱旧款的
and she found a box of the old ones,
而且免费寄给我们
and they sent them free of charge.
就是我们想要的那种
They're exactly the right kind.
这故事太感人了 妈妈
That is a great story, Mom.
别这么欠 亲爱的
Oh, don't be a dick, honey.
山姆 你跟茱莉娅今天谈得怎么样
So, Sam, how was your session with Julia today?
她想让我捐献大脑
She wants me to donate my brain,
别担心 死后才捐
but don't worry, it's after I die.
什么 用于研究那种吗 那还挺酷的
What, like, for research? That could be kind of cool.
才不酷呢
Absolutely not.
女王发话了
And the queen has spoken.
真恶心 凯西
Well, it's gross, Casey.
你告诉茱莉娅"谢谢 不捐"
You tell Julia, "Thank you, but no."
-好的 -你耳根子太软了
- Okay. -You're so easy to boss around.
我才不在乎我死了的大脑会怎样
I don't care what happens to my dead brain.
要么捐给茱莉娅 要么被蛆吃掉
It's either I give it to Julia, or maggots eat it.
要是老妈希望喂蛆的话 没关系
If Mom wants maggots to eat it, fine.
不 不 我不是那个意思
No, no, no. That's not what I'm saying.
没差多少
Kind of is.
我不在乎 反正我死了
I don't care. I'll be dead.
我们能不能不说你死的事
Can we stop talking about you being dead?
你给我好好活着
You're not going anywhere.
亲爱的 这鸡肉真好吃
Wow, this chicken's really good, honey.
谢谢 是干擦的
Thanks. It's a dry rub.
干擦得妙啊
It's a good dry rub.
茱莉娅觉得我应该出去
Julia thinks that I should put myself out there
找个人做♥爱♥
and find someone to have sex with.
她没说做♥爱♥的事 我自己加的
She didn't say the sex part. I added that.
非♥典♥型孤独
第一季 第一集
我的学校人多 吵吵闹闹的
My school is crowded, noisy,
味道也怪怪的
and it smells weird,
但是有一点还是值得肯定的
but it has one thing going for it:
女生特别多
it has lots of girls.
我觉得每个女孩都有自己独特的美
Well, I think every girl is pretty in her own way,
就像季节性的南极风暴中的雪花
like a snowflake in a seasonal Antarctic storm.
但是女生们根本不理我
But girls don't notice me at all.
科技都会
谢谢
Thank you.
我昨晚搞了一个网上遇到的兽医
Banged a veterinarian I met online last night.
她有个宠物鹦鹉 重复她说的每一句话
She had a pet parrot that repeated everything she said.
"来吧 红糖 来吧 红糖"
"Do me, Brown Sugar! Do me, Brown Sugar!"
操 她好像是种族歧视
Oh, shit. I think she's racist.
什么种类的鹦鹉
What kind of parrot?
不知道 红色霓虹的那种
Oh, I don't know. The red rainbow one?
那是绯红金刚鹦鹉
That's a scarlet macaw.
扎希德
Zahid...
你喜欢跟女生约会吗
do you like dating girls?
当然了 哥们 我喜欢约女生
Yeah, dude. I like dating girls.
你在做什么
What are you doing?
上网找个女生约会
Going online to try and find a girl to date.
太能闹了 我帮你
That's hilarious. I'll help.
来 填空
Okay, finish this sentence:
"我花大量时间思考"
"I spend a lot of time thinking about..."
简单 企鹅
Easy. Penguins.
尤其是 帽带企鹅
And, especially, I'll say chinstrap penguins.
他们是我最喜欢的鸟类
They're my favorite bird,
但是南极洲的四种企鹅都很好
but all four types of Antarctic penguins are good.
你知道吗 早期的探险家
Did you know early explorers
以为它们是鱼 并且把它们归为鱼类
thought they were fish and classified them that way?
不是鸟类 而是鱼类
Not birds, fish.
我还是就写"运动"吧
Okay, I'm gonna put "Sports."
孩子们 在干嘛呢
Hey, kids. What you doing?
凯西在帮我注册线上交♥友♥网♥站的账号♥
Casey's helping me sign up for online dating,
但她讨厌我的回答 所以在瞎扯
but hates all my answers, so she's lying.
你现在干这个有点太年轻了
You're a little young for that.
我在20/20上看过一集节目
You know, I saw an episode on 20/20.
有种东西叫做"钓鱼诈骗"
There's actually something called "Catfishing,"
-和钓鱼完全没关系 -你走吧 妈
- and it has nothing to do with fishing. - Bye, Mom.
你觉得我们要不要再和爱迪生拍张照片
Do you think we should take another picture with Edison?
我在网上看到说 妹子们都喜欢小动物
I read online that girls love animals.
这个姿势怎么样
Maybe like this?
我觉得你要是不参与的话我能更快搞定
I think this might go quicker if you just leave.
该死