我本坚强（2015）

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt S03E07

Part 3 Feb. 22, 2023, 8:44 p.m.

Whatever. You're doing it.
欲获取最新消息请关注天气中心的杜朗齐桑德曼
For the latest, let's go to Drench...
他只能靠他自己了
He's on his own.
我还得去拯救一座城市呢
I've got a city to save.
膀胱吗拜托
A bladder? Please.
闺蜜该走了
It's time to go, girl.
泰特斯我就知道
Titus! I knew it.
那是你对吗
That's you, right?
哥们儿这些小便广♥告♥一直在我看色情片时蹦出来
Man, those pee-pee commercials are all up in my porns.
你现在一定发了
You must be rich now!
等等我是不是该打劫你啊
Wait. Should I be mugging you?
如果我有钱
Sir, if I were rich,
你觉得我现在还会跟你说话吗
do you think I'd be talking to you right now?
我就会用金属勺子吃真正的蛋黄酱了
I'd be eating real mayonnaise with a metal spoon.
但大型制药公♥司♥就是在印钞啊兄弟
But Big Pharma just prints money, man.
虽然他们在研发上投入了很多
Yeah, they spend a lot on R&D,
可一旦他们的药品被药管局批准
but once the drug gets approved by the FDA,
他们就能获得20年的专利期限
they got a 20-year patent.
我知道因为我也在从事药品生意
I know 'cause I'm also in the drug biz.
给你根笔
Take a pen.
大型制药公♥司♥ 我会让你们后悔
Well, Big Pharma, I'm gonna make you wish
为何不剽窃一个没那么闲的人
you ripped off someone with less time on their hands.
我收到你的信息了古德曼
I got your texts, Goodman.
感谢你前来
Thanks for coming.
来杯水吗
Care for a water?
尝尝散装金枪鱼
A handful of loose tuna?
请坐
Please, sit.
我只有一个问题
I have just one question.
你怎么了
What is wrong with you?
还不是因为你
You're what's wrong with me.
因为你是个叛徒乔
'Cause you're a traitor, Joe,
你就是那种自以为有真正的蛋黄酱吃了就
who thinks that just because he has real mayonnaise--
打住我现在说的是你
No, no, no, no. I'm asking about you.
作为一个人你到底是怎么了
What is wrong with you as a human being?
因为你不爽的不仅仅是我
'Cause this isn't really about me.
你知道我不是含着银汤匙出生的
You know I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth.
虽然我还真含着一个不过那是因为我妈
Well, I was, but only because my mother
想把家里的汤匙从波兰偷带出来
wanted to smuggle the family spoon out of Poland.
我就是在这个城市的穷♥人♥家长大的
I grew up poor, right here in the city.
我父亲是个砌砖工
My father was a bricklayer.
砖在俚语里指某类有钱的老女人
"Brick" Was slang for a certain type of wealthy, older woman.
是吗
Yeah?
我们家就是移♥民♥公♥寓♥博物馆活生生的缩影
My family was a living diorama in the Tenement Museum.
这又不是比赛莉莲
It's not a contest, Lillian.
我就是说我们都一样
I'm saying we're the same.
我们为了同样的理想奋斗
We fought for the same ideals.
我们为了同样的理想奋斗
And then you sold out.
没有只是我成功了
No! I succeeded.
如今我给美国成千上万的人带来工作
And now I get to bring good jobs
以及很棒的食物
and great food to millions of Americans.
你瞧我是一个好人
Look, I'm one of the good guys.
我的雇员都有医疗保险
My employees get health care.
我们用作食品的动物
Our food animals
在死前还都能见一见迈克尔乔丹
all get to meet Michael Jordan before they die.
而且你那个垃圾场一样的社区
And your neighborhood is a dump.
我只会把它变得更好
I can only make it better.
我已故的丈夫快被气得从墙里爬出来了
My late husband is rolling over in my wall right now.
他生前很爱东道格莫斯
He loved East Dogmouth.
我们在那生活得很幸福
And we were happy there.
我很抱歉
I'm sorry.
我妻子五年前就去世了
My wife died five years ago.
你丈夫什么时候去世的
When did you lose your husband?
1976年
September...
9月
1976.
四十年前
Forty years ago?
哦天啊该翻篇儿了吧
Oh, my God! Get over it!
人总是要死的
People die!
艾伦金斯堡死了
Allen Ginsberg is dead.
理查德普莱尔死了
Richard Pryor is dead.
鲍勃迪伦也死了
Bob Dylan is dead...
对我而言
to me.
他就不能露个面领下诺奖吗
Can't show up and get a Nobel Prize?
真无礼
Rude.
你怎么能老是活在70年代呢
How could you be stuck in the '70s?
那时我们所捍卫的一切都变了
Everything we fought for back then was about change.
是啊但是后来我们有些人认识到
Yeah, but then some of us realized that
那些变化很讨厌
change sucks eggs.
好的变化也是存在的啊
There is such a thing as good change.
它的别名叫做"进步"
It's called progress.
哎太胡扯了
Oh, what a crock.
喷气式背包精良的图帕克全息图
Ooh, jet packs, a decent Tupac hologram.
我都不愿意再提第二大道地铁的事
And please don't get me started on the Second Avenue Subway.
那只是
It was just a lie
你这种"好人"说过的谎
told by good guys like you.
好吧看来你都想明白了
Well, I guess you've got it all figured out.
而我
And me...
那个有印字订书机的家伙
a guy with a monogrammed stapler,
却一无所知
knows nothing.
你并非一无所知
Oh, you know something--
你知道怎样成为一个真正的笨蛋
how to be a real schmuck.
结束语是我说的
I talked last.
这次午餐效率真高啊莎伦
That was a productive lunch, Sharon.
那么周末到底怎么样
So what's the weekend looking like?
我猜你肯定拖着你家的双胞胎在韦斯特切斯特附近溜达来着
Schlepping the twins around Westchester, I bet.
我能帮您什么吗先生
Can I help you, sir?
拜托
Oh, please.
我又不是安东尼霍普金斯爵士
"Sir" Is Sir Anthony Hopkins' name.
叫我在这儿上班的名字就行了
Call me someone who works here.
麻烦你让一下先生
Step aside, sir.
我只需要找人说说
Look, I just need to talk
你们欠我钱的事儿
to someone about the money you guys owe me.
问个不相关的问题
Unrelated question:
你们多久能收到一次可以装下一个人的大蛋糕
how often do you receive big cakes that a person could fit in?
下午好博茨先生他们在等你
Good afternoon, Mr. Bortz. Are they expecting you?
叫我戴尔就好
Oh, call me Dale.
就是录两条广播台词
I'm just going in to record a couple radio spots.
不会花太长时间然后
Shouldn't take long, and then...
就是这句"闺蜜该走了"
it's time to go, girl.
口哨声
Whistle noise!
你们听到的都是谎话
You guys are being lied to!
你们不需要储备
You don't need to stock up on
凡士林或者
Vaseline or...
更多的凡士林
more Vaseline?
我也想买♥♥你的鞋
I'd also love to buy your shoes,
如果你没有光脚穿过的话
you know, if you've ever worn them without socks.
说认真的不要听信那些消息
Seriously, don't listen to the news!
全是谎话
It's all lies!
泰特斯没人听我的
Titus, no one will listen to me.
我很高兴你问了吉米我找到他了我
I'm glad you asked, Kimmy. I found him. Me.
白人版本的我
I'm white.
等一下谁
Wait. Who?
吃葡萄不吐葡萄皮
The monster masquerading as "Moy."
别神游了
Keep up.
但是没人会听我的
But no one here will listen to me,
所以我要去找那个骗子让他来说出实情
so I have to find that phony and make him tell the truth.
泰特斯你就是个天才
Titus, you're a genius!
几乎达到100分的完美智商
Almost a perfect 100 IQ.
杜朗齐桑德曼在电视上说世界末日就要来了
Drench Thunderman's on TV saying the world is ending,
但我无法让纽约的每个人相信他是个骗子
but I can't convince everyone in New York that he's a liar.
所以我得找到他让他自己坦白
So I have to find him and make him fess up.
没有练过手之前