我本坚强（2015）

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt S03E04

Part 2 Feb. 22, 2023, 8:43 p.m.

加拿大♥陆♥军
the Canadian Army!
佩琪希望我在哪儿组装东西
Looks like Paige wants me to assemble something...
哥伦比亚大学
at Columbia University?
这地方棒极了
This place is awesome!
哥伦比亚剧院乐团
The Columbia House band?
兄弟们好好录音
Get to work on those tapes, guys!
我期待你们下次发给我的东西
I can't wait to see what you send me next!
佩琪你的跑腿者来了
Paige, your task rabbit has arrived.
天哪这是在开玩笑吗
Oh, my God. Is this a joke?
不是但这样才是咚咚咚
No, but this is. Knock, knock...
咚咚咚
Knock, knock.
我听不见你问"你是谁"
I couldn't hear you say, "Who's there?"
所以我索性就说"香蕉"
so I'm just gonna go ahead and say, "Banana."
噢太好了艺人在此
Oh, good. The talent's here.
他在我身后吗
Is he behind me?
他拿着刀没
Does he have a knife?
没有你是泰特斯吧
No. You're Titus, right?
你就是那个艺人
You're the talent.
是的我是
Yes! I am.
只是
It's just that
我以前只听过一次别人这么叫我
I've only been called "The talent" once before.
那是在梦里
It was in a dream,
那只性感的老鼠极具讽刺意味
and that sexy mouse was being very sarcastic.
我是戈迪
Well, I'm Gordy.
你能来我很高兴
Really excited you could come in.
只需要在几个音轨上混入些和声
Just need to lay down some backup vocals on a few tracks.
你要喝点什么吗茶还是水
Can I get you anything, a tea or a water?
一杯水两块糖
I'll have a water, two sugars.
在这里我觉得自己是个真正的专业人员
I feel like a real professional here--
不像那些吃白食的奥♥运♥会运动员
not like those freeloading Olympic athletes.
所以
So, um,
这些都是原创歌♥曲
these are all original songs.
都是我的孩子
They're my babies.
你是说他们偷走了你的青春年少使你无聊至极
You mean they stole your youth and made you boring?
不是它们弥足珍贵让他们出去见人让我害怕
No, they're precious, and it's scary putting them out there.
但看看当今世道我知道世界需要有所改变
But I look at the world, and I know it needs to change.
我觉得音乐可以改变世界
And I think the way to do that is through music.
音乐非常强大
Music is very powerful.
比如说那则儿童用车慈善机构的广♥告♥
Like that Kars4Kids commercial.
看到那则广♥告♥之前
Before I saw that commercial,
我想给孩子们捐献一辆车
I wanted to donate a car to kids.
但那首歌♥让我改变了主意
But that song changed my mind.
我已经把所有的配乐和主唱部分录了下来
Well, I've already recorded all the instrumental tracks and the lead vocals, so
所以我会到播音室全部播一遍
I'm gonna play it all back in the cans,
你就开始唱和声
and you come in on backup.
我要练习几年前在演奏会上学到的一些声乐
I'll just do some vocal exercises I learned on a gig years ago.
*欢迎来到音乐自助洗衣店*
*Welcome to the singing laundromat*
*请看好自己的财物一旦失窃概不负责*
*We are not responsible for theft*
好吧泰特斯准备好了没
All right, Titus, you good to go?
就像一个坐在洗衣店烘干机上的中年妇女
Like a middle-aged lady sitting on a dryer at a singing laundromat!
好了
Okay.
*以色列人*
*Israel!*
*都是以色列人造成的*
*Israel is behind it all*
*那天上午每个犹太人都收到了一封邮件*
*Every Jew got an e-mail that mornin'*
真不可思议继续
Fantastic. Moving on.
戈迪的思想还真特异
Gordy's got some opinions.
*牛奶都有保质期*
*Milk has an expiration date*
*我们该和老人一起干这事*
*We should do that with the elderly*
怎么灿你是怕我会让你
What, Xan, are you afraid I'm gonna embarrass you
在你那些超酷的新朋友面前丢脸吗
in front of your cool new friends?
看来你忘了我可以
Well, I think you've forgotten I can...
嘻哈一下
break it down.
你不必骂街说就能创作一首有意思的说唱
Well, you don't need to swear to have a fun rap
你知道
You know--
你在这干嘛
What are you doing here?
我被一个名叫佩琪的人雇来装些家具的
I was hired by someone named Paige to put some furniture together.
佩琪是我的一个室友
Paige is one of my roommates.
她不在这里谢天谢地
She's not here right now, thank God.
她要你装的东西在这儿
The thing she wants you to put together is over there.
所以你室友喜欢投石机
Oh, so your roommate's into catapulting, huh?
酷 - 那只台划船器你这个怪胎
Cool. - That's a rowing machine, you freak.
我的室友们都是赛艇队员
My roommates are on the crew team,
所以她们都高大威武
so they're all big and strong
互为好友这对我来说好极了
and good friends with each other, which is awesome for me.
我敢打赌这地方都是
I bet. This place is all that--
还有包薯片
and a bag of chips?
灿我要申请这所大学
You know, Xan, I'm applying here.
等等你是认真的吗
Wait, seriously?
你知道这里很难进对吧
You know it's, like, really hard to get in, right?
你是我见过的最蠢的人了
And you're the dumbest person I've ever met.
那倒没错
True, true.
嘿那下面是什么
Hey, what's that under there?
你是想让我说"内♥裤♥"吗
Are you trying to get me to say "underwear"?
现在不会了
Not anymore.
我们假装不认识
We don't know each other.
我是新来的灿什么
I'm a stranger. Xan who?
各位我是舍长不是你们的老妈
You guys, I'm your RA. I'm not your mom.
我十分赞成性行为
And I'm 100% sex-positive.
陌生的一♥夜♥情♥对象
And anonymous sexual encounters
是你们性♥爱♥经历中重要的一条线
are an important strand in your sexual tapestry.
只是绝不要重复使用口腔橡皮障
Just never reuse a dental dam
或翻边使用另一面
or flip it over and use the other side.
还有我们今晚会在学生休息室
Also, uh, we're gonna do a screening of
播放<怪物史莱克3>
Shrek 3 tonight in the student lounge.
好吧
All right.
好了姑娘们你们继续吧
Okay, get to it, girls.
我觉得她相信了
I think she bought it.
"史莱克"是什么东西
What's a Shrek?
什么不我才不关心史乐尔
What? No, I don't care about Sheryl.
我不想让我室友看到我愚蠢的前任保姆
I don't want my roommates seeing my stupid former nanny.
这里的人都讨厌我
Everybody already hates me here.
他们认为我是靠钱进来的富二代
They think I'm some rich brat who got in 'cause of her money.
他们怎么知道你有钱
How do they know you're rich?
不是揭你短但你的牛仔裤很破
Not to embarrass you, but your jeans are torn.
你没注意到这栋大楼上写着我的名字吗
You didn't notice this building has my name on it?
沃利斯原来是指你的姓啊
Voorhees Hall is you!
我还以为这栋大楼是以那首歌♥里
I thought it was named after the guy
那家伙的名字命名的
from that song.
*沃利斯只生产优质枕头*
*Voorhees a jolly good pillow.*
我不明白这里为何是这样
I don't understand this place.
就比如在高中的时候有钱是件很酷的事
Like, in high school, being rich was cool.
但在这里我的地位跟你差不多
But here I'm like you.
干嘛呢陛下
'Sup, Your Majesty?
我在擦皇冠啊
Just polishing my crown.
你朋友是谁
Who's your friend?
她她不是我朋友
Her? She's not my friend.
是的我是托尼拉维奥利
Yeah, I'm a-- I'm Tony Ravioli,
你们的税务跑腿员
youse tax rabbit!
好吧托尼
Okay, Tony,
你干嘛不少说点话专心做好你的工作
why don't you do less talking and focus on your job?
哇
Wow.
灿我肯定你是习惯了
Uh, I'm sure you're used to
用这种方式和帮你的人说话
talking to the help that way, Xan,
但请你不要把你的阶级歧视
but don't impose your classism
强加到变性手工艺者的人生经历中
on this transgendered handyperson's experience.
这太不地道了
That's messed up.
算了吧
Hey, forget about that.
嘿待会休息室要放电影
Oh, hey, um, there's, like, a movie in the lounge later.
挺有意思的
Could be fun.
我们今晚已经有超赞的计划了
Oh, we already have some pretty epic plans tonight.