我本坚强（2015）

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt S03E01

Part 4 Feb. 22, 2023, 8:42 p.m.

什么不你哪位
What? No. Who's this?
你把电♥话♥落到出租车上了
You leave phone in cab!
我在家上班你是谁
I am SoHo. Where you?
不这不是我的电♥话♥ 我想打给吉米
No, no, no. This isn't my phone. I'm trying to call Kimmy.
不要撞车了
Oh, no! Here come accident!
你在跟吉米业主说话
You're talking to K-Biz.
感谢真♥主♥啊吉米业主你手♥机♥找回来了
Oh, Allah, be praised, K-Biz. You got your phone back.
很难找到手♥机♥
Ugh. It was hard to track down
因为我今天去了好多地方
'cause I went to so many places today.
我就喜欢随处走动你不喜欢吗
I just love walking wherever I want, don't you?
打开没有上锁的大门出去看看
Opening unlocked doors and going outside
独自淋浴
and then showering alone
床边没有马桶
and not having a toilet next to my bed.
你知道自己在说什么吗
Are you listening to yourself?
我可是在监狱里
You know I'm in prison.
你刚说的那些很有意思但我都做不了
Everything that you just said is fun stuff I can't do now.
我带你去那个卡丁车的地方
Tell you what-- I'll take you to that go-kart place.
我的天呐那可是我的最爱
Oh, my God, normally, that's, like, my favorite thing!
你打来的还真是时候
It's about time you called.
抱歉吉米
Well, excuse me, Kimmy.
但一只装满了海♥洛♥因♥的避孕套
But a condom full of heroin
刚刚在我肚子里破掉了
exploded in my stomach,
所以我今天过得糟糕透了
so this whole day has been for the birds!
我不知道该怎么处理这些离婚文件
I can't figure out what I'm supposed to do with these divorce papers.
填好就行了
Just fill them out!
你还记得当年在地堡里你总是说
It's just, you know how you always said in the bunker
女人都笨死了
that women are dumb?
你说得没错
Well, I think you're right.
我完全搞不懂这些文件
I mean, these pages look blank to me.
翻过来看吉米
Flip them over, Kimmy.
翻过来看你拿反了
Flip 'em over! You're looking at the wrong side!
真让人泄气
This is so frustrating!
他好像在哭
I think he's crying.
寿司让我的皮肤奇痒无比
The rash from the sushi is real bad!
谁来帮帮我
Somebody help! Oh, God!
天呐我都在想些什么
Oh, what was I thinking?
我还以为波比健身操就是来打打嗝
I thought burpees were just baby burps,
那个我还是比较擅长的
which is something I'm very... good at.
你迟到了隆尼
You're late, Lonny!
伙计德夫抱歉了兄弟
Oh, man, Dev, sorry, brother.
有人偷了我的斜躺自行车
It's just, like, someone swiped my recumbent bicycle.
但没关系
But it's cool.
他肯定比我更需要那车子
I'm sure he needed it more than me,
老天会补偿我的
and the universe will pay me back,
就跟我找到那只袜子时一样
like when I found that sock.
好了所有人都上山
Okay, everyone up the hill.
来吧为了米奇
Do it... for Mikey.
跑
Run!
蹲得低一些
Get really low.
是我伙计隆尼杜弗尼
Hey, it's me, man, Lonny Dufrene.
关于新角色戈登我有个特别牛的主意
I had, like, a far out idea for the new Gordon--
泰特斯安德罗米东
Titus Andromedon.
他肯定也从未听说过你女士
I bet he's never heard of you either, lady!
淡定七十年代
I mean, cool, cool. The '70s...
先为他安排一下
Uh, let's schedule him first up
还有给他挑点心的时候花点心思
and, uh, have a nice selection of pastries for him.
不要有水果的
Nothing with fruit.
好吧说不定我就签字了
Okay, maybe I'll sign
要是你承认没有第五个鼹鼠女
if you admit that there was no fifth Mole Woman
里尔丽萨其实就是你自己
and you were Lil' Lisa.
你就是这么想的
Oh, is that what you think?
也许我去喝杯水的时候
Well maybe I'll just put Lil' Lisa on the phone
可以让里尔丽萨过来接电♥话♥
while I drink this glass of water.
嗨吉米姐妹
Hi, Sister Kimmy!
天呐牧师肯定渴坏了
Boy, the Reverend sure is thirsty.
他是怎么做到的
How is he doing that?
谢谢你了里尔丽萨
Why, thank you, Lil' Lisa.
我需要一些狗毛
I need a little hair of the dog.
随便吧什么毛都可以
But I'll take any kind of hair.
我觉得你之所以不肯签字
You know what? I think you won't sign
是因为你还爱着我
because you're still in love with me.
才怪 - 怪才
As if! - D2!
你好
Hi, hi.
有人吗
Hello?
吉米
Kimmy. Kimmy!
我正吃披萨呢
Mmm, now I'm eating pizza!
监狱里的披萨好吃吗
How's the pizza in prison?
出乎意料的原汁原味
Surprisingly authentic.
是吗这儿的也好吃
Yeah, well, it's good here, too!
你来这儿干嘛
What are you doing here?
就是把你放在我家里的东西送回来
I just wanted to return the stuff you left at my place.
我什么都没找到所以盒子是空的
I couldn't find anything, so the box is empty.
你怎么一声不吭就走了
Why'd you just walk away like that?
我不擅长说再见
I've never been good at bye-byes.
但咱俩196♥4♥年就认识了
But I've known you since 196♥4♥.
你第一个不在场证明还是我做的呢
I was your first alibi.
莉莲我能不能正常点
Lillian, can I stop being insane
认清现实哪怕就一秒
and get real for a second?
你一直活在过去
You're living in the past.
我一直努力让这个街区继续糟糕
Me, fighting to keep this neighborhood terrible,
还有你对意大利人的看法
your views on Italians?
我没有陷在过去我只是厌恶现在
I'm not stuck in the past. I just hate the present.
<花♥花♥公♥子♥>已经不再刊登裸女照片了知道吗
You know Playboy doesn't have nudity anymore?
你得自己画上乳♥头♥
You have to draw the nipples on yourself.
那样可不健康莉莲
This isn't healthy, Lillian.
而我正在把情况变得更糟
And I'm making it worse.
我猜你的牢房♥肯定特别小
I bet your cell's pretty small.
我住的地方好大呢大到可以天呐该死
My apartment's so big, I can-- Gosh dang it!
膝盖为什么不像屁♥股♥那么有肉呢
Why don't our shins have butts?
我知道你看上去好像挺开心
I know it seems like you're just having fun,
但你这是把一个让你不开心的人
but you let someone back in your life who's--
重新引入了你的生活
who's bad for you.
这么做只能阻止你向前走
It's holding you back.
谁我吗
Who, me?
不不是这样的
No, that's not what's happening here.
因为现在跟过去不一样了
'Cause it's different than it used to be.
地球不是绕着你一个人转亲爱的
Not everything's about you, dear.
可恶的千禧一代
Goddamn millennials.
不莉莲也许一直以来都是吉米的原因
No, Lillian, maybe this was always about Kimmy,
发生的这一切都是
all of it.
也许我让一个坏人重回我的生活
Maybe I let a bad person back in my life,
但他已经习惯了折磨我
but he used to torture me.
现在换我折磨他了
Now I'm torturing him.
你知道我还在吧
Hey, you know I'm still here, right?
你是不是在跟其他人说话
Are you talking to someone else?
伙计也许你才担得起狱里
Man, maybe you're the one
"粗鲁之人"这个称号♥
that should have the prison nickname "Rude Dude."
看到没我改变了局势
See? I turned the tables.
但还是同一个局
But you're-- you're still at the same table.
有人吗
Hello?
这些点心够吃一天了
Those pastries were supposed to be for all day.
好了老兄欢迎
Okay, man. Welcome.
亮亮你的嗓子吧
Let me hear your 'bet.
*A B C D E F G*
*A, b, c, d, e, f, g*
*H I J K L M N O P*
*H, I, j, k, l, m, n, o, p*
*Q R S*
*Q, r, s*
*T U V*
*T, u, v*
*W X*
*W, x*
*Y Z*
*Y, and Z*
所以才会有四季呢
And that's why we have seasons.