我本坚强（2015）

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt S03E05

Part 4 Feb. 22, 2023, 8:43 p.m.

The drawstring went inside again. -What happened to the knot?
找个安全别针自己搞定贾斯珀
Get a safety pin and deal with it, Jasper!
够了
That's it!
我要制♥造♥一个炸♥弹♥ 给我十分钟
I'm gonna build a bomb. Give me ten minutes.
十分钟当然我只
Ten minutes. Sure, I'll just--
看大象
Look, elephants!
大象出奇的狡猾
The elephant is surprisingly sneaky.
他们可以通过次声波来交流
They can communicate using infrasound.
又转到了语♥音♥信箱
Voice mail again.
难以置信
Oh, unbelievable,
吉米居然把生病的泰特斯
that Kimmy just walks off and leaves me
丢给我就闪人了
with a sick Titus.
老天爷啊
Oh, Lord.
我的皮疹尝起来越来越像果冻
My rash is tasting more and more like jelly,
这可不是什么好兆头
which can't be a good sign.
我因为在游轮上做的事而受到惩罚了
I'm being punished for what I did on that cruise.
我吃了
I ate--
没人被我吃
uh, nobody.
什么
What?
是那个得坏血病的人在说话
Ugh, it's the scurvy talking.
回到泰特斯模式
Back to Titus.
真希望那家高级食品店已经开张
I wish that fancy grocery store would open already.
你给我闭嘴
You shut your mouth!
不仅仅是为了防止你牙齿掉下来
And not just to keep your teeth from falling out!
雅痞吃的东西
There's nothing that yuppie feeding trough has
我们这个街区都有
that we can't get right here in our neighborhood...
比如青草
like grass.
要知道爱尔兰大饥荒的时候
You know, during the Potato Famine,
人们都吃草充饥呢
the Irish ate grass.
不要莉莲
No, Lillian,
即便我能成为白人我也不要当爱尔兰人
if I'm gonna be white, don't make me be Irish.
那是最糟糕的选择了
That's the worst one.
嗨
Hey!
那树上结着果子呢
That tree has fruit in it.
我跟你说什么来着
What'd I tell you?
我们要什么有什么
We got everything we need right here.
那不是树莉莲是个手♥机♥信♥号♥♥塔
That's not a tree, Lillian. That's a cell phone tower.
那个看起来像水果的东西是什么
Then what's that stuff that looks like fruit?
鼠宝宝
Rat babies!
"打三个鸡蛋"
"Beat three eggs."
打到什么里边
At what?
帮帮我啊外婆
Help me, Meemaw.
"外婆"
"Oh, Meemaw"
"外婆"
"Meemaw"
"我们好渴望吃你做的菜"
"We're hungry for your dish"
"主要是玉米做的"
"It's mostly corn"
"我需要"
"I need"
"你做的食物"
"Your food"
"我需要"
"I need"
"你做的食物"
"Your food"
"我需要"
"I need"
"你做的食物"
"Your food"
"不然我会饿得前胸贴后背的"
"Or stuff"
我成功了
I did it.
天呐
每个炉头的煤气都开着呢
The gas is on on every one of these burners.
这就肯定解释了
Well, that certainly explains...
这是你最后的机会乔克
It's your last chance, Chalker!
先不要进来
Don't come in quite yet.
我正在做馅饼呢
I'm just building a-- a, um, pie.
我需要加点柴油面包皮
And I just need to add the diesel... crust.
她简直疯了谁最后才放面包皮啊
She's insane. Who does the crust last?
如果她只是往上面放面包皮
And if she's just putting a crust on top,
那就说明不对劲了
that's a crumble.
开始行动去抓她
Execute. Take her down.
收到已经移♥动♥至突破口
Copy. Moving to breach.
长官乔克在哭
Sir, uh, Chalker is crying.
下来所有小组后退
Stand down! All teams, fall back.
后退
Fall back, fall back!
我就知道会这样
I knew this was gonna happen.
你一做点什么她们就开始梨花带雨
You do one thing, they start crying.
现在怎么办
Now what?
不管你做什么别跟她说要冷静下来
Whatever you do, don't tell her to calm down.
我觉得是催♥泪♥弹♥把她弄哭了
I think she's just crying because of the tear gas.
你想跟她解释她哭泣的原因吗
Oh, you want to explain to her why she's crying?
那祝你好运了
Good luck with that.
格雷琴亲爱的
Gretchen, honey,
抱歉了
we're sorry.
我们永远不会
We'll never do...
重蹈覆辙
what we did wrong ever again.
你是不是瘦了大家都这么觉得
Have you lost weight? Everyone thinks so.
给她送一个骚气的基友让她认清现实
Send in a saucy gay friend for her to get real with.
快快点
Go, go, go.
发泄出来吧姑娘
Let it out, girl!
什么不要
What? No!
格雷琴是个危险人物
Gretchen is dangerous.
她关了很多孩子
She's got kids in there.
你不能对她区别对待就因为她是个
You can't treat her different just 'cause she's...
女人
a woman.
我要再进去
I'm going back in.
我早已经过了床上全是毛绒玩具的年龄
I'm getting too old for my bed full of stuffed animals.
里边好湿啊
The inside's all wet.
看看这些人
Look at these people.
他们不觉得自己有狐臭
They think their pits don't stink
就因为吃的是圈养的牛肉
just 'cause their beef was raised on a farm
而不是浣熊
instead of being raccoon.
莉莲卡斯塔珀
Lillian Kaushtupper.
不我是瓦内萨波塞冬医生
No. I am Dr. Vanessa Poseidon.
我知道是你莉莲我能闻出来你身上的香水
I know it's you, Lillian. I recognize your perfume.
我根本没喷香水
I don't wear perfume.
这是体香
That smell just happens.
我是泰特斯魅力无限
Titus. Charmed, you're sure.
我是阿蒂古德曼咱们之前通过电♥话♥
Artie Goodman. We met on the phone.
你在这儿干嘛古德曼
And what are you even doing here, Goodman?
这种店你都有好几百家了
You got, like, 200 of these dumps.
还有一个创意店
And an Etsy shop,
我会在垃圾桶上画瞪着眼睛的怪物
where I put googly eyes on trash.
但我一直都有去店里
But I visit my stores all the time.
我是个很爱积极参与的人
I'm very hands-on.
吉恩你那个女朋友怎么样
Gene, how's the girlfriend?
只要别让老婆知道就好对吗
Just don't let the wife find out about her, am I right?
他是个人♥渣♥
He's a terrible person.
除了想偷点东西
So what brings you two here,
什么风把你俩吹过来了
besides the obvious shoplifting?
不要带有色眼镜
That's profiling.
我穿得不如别人高级
Just 'cause my clothes aren't as nice
并不代表我就是贼啊
as some of these other people doesn't mean I'm a thief.
这样才算
That does.
泰特斯你还好吧
Titus, are you okay?
不好我得了坏血病
No. I got scurvy.
我的吉米走了
And my Kimmy left,
之前我们能收到六台的节目
and we used to get Channel 6,
现在都收不到了
but now we don't.
坏血病英国水手会得的病
Scurvy? Like a British seaman?
就好像英国水手
Like a British seaman.
阿蒂我好累啊
Artie, I'm so tired.
泰特斯需要新鲜的水果
Titus needed fresh fruit,
可我们住的附近根本没有好吗
and we couldn't find any in our neighborhood, okay?
这样你开心了吧
So you happy?
不所以我才想在那儿开家店
No, that's why I want to open a store there.
东道格莫斯以"食物荒漠"著称
East Dogmouth is what's known as a food desert.