我本坚强（2015）

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt S03E03

Part 5 Feb. 22, 2023, 8:43 p.m.

香蒜面包
Ooh, garlic bread!
儿子你搞定了那个面包
You made that bread your bitch, son.
杰圭琳罗斯怎么样
So, Jacqueline... how's Russ?
我们知道他还能大便
Well, we know he can still poop.
只是我希望
I just wish we'd figured
在他们给他打石膏前弄清楚就好了
that out before they put the cast on him.
显然这很尴尬
Look, obviously, this is awkward.
既然你知道我的传承
Now that you know my heritage,
我确定你不想和我有任何关系
I'm sure you want nothing to do with me.
杰圭琳别扯了
Don't be ridiculous, Jacqueline.
其实我们想让你知道
No, in fact, we want you to know,
如果是你把罗斯推到那辆车前面
if you pushed Russ in front of that car...
我们也可以理解
we get it.
什么
What?
但你拥有红人队 - 没错
But you own the Redskins. - Exactly.
你的传承 - 对于我是谁来说是很重要的部分
And your heritage... - Is an important part of who I am.
是的完美说那样的废话
Yes, perfect. Say crap like that.
直到今天我的小小晋升
Until my little promotion today,
我是红人队的公♥关♥主管
I was head of PR for the Redskins.
我发的推特上了热搜
I won a Digie for my sweet tweets.
但想象一下家族里有一个
But just imagine the optics
印第安人这一光环
of having a Native American in the family.
我们会刀枪不入
We'll be bulletproof.
"家族里"你是什么意思
What do you mean "in the family"?
在上帝带走罗斯之前我们让你和罗斯结婚
Let's get you and Russ married before God takes him.
你永远不会带走我
You'll never get me!
我身体比你还好神父
I'm better than you! Father.
你带来了神父
You brought a priest?
她真是个可怜人儿啊吉米
She's one of God's little babies, Kimmy.
什么 - 温迪需要你的帮助
What - Wendy needs your help.
不泰特斯我花了整晚做我自己的事
No. Titus, I just spent all night doing stuff for myself...
为了上大学的事
for college.
金伯莉温迪就像一个漂亮的罕见芭比
Kimberly, Wendy's like a beautiful, rare Barbie
一些男孩子把胳膊和腿拆了下来
that some boys pulled the arms and legs off of
而现在家里的狗正在咬连接端
and now the family dog is chewing on the connector nubs.
我很担心她不会再复原了
I'm worried she won't go back together again.
她很悲惨
She's tragic.
现在她正在寻找熟食店买♥♥点外卖♥♥华夫饼带走
Right now she's looking for a deli to get waffles to go.
华夫饼带回家就不好吃了
Waffles don't travel!
我用尽了浑身解数
I did everything I could
让她看到自己不至于沦落成这样
to make her see she's better than this.
甚至试图勾引她
I even tried to seduce her.
她对我的魅力无动于衷
She's immune to my charm.
我想只有你可以 - 别说了
I think only you can... - Stop it!
就像你说的我跟她不熟
Like you said, I don't know her.
我肯定不了解她
I for sure don't understand her.
为什么我应该为那个
Why should I be responsible for that dusty,
脏兮兮的悲催女负责呢
crocheted toilet paper doll?
对温迪的那番描述很无礼
That description of Wendy is now considered offensive.
大家都已经翻篇了
As a society, we've moved on.
我真的不确定这样好不好
Look, I'm not sure about this.
罗斯都不省人事了
Russ is unconscious.
这就是为什么这很完美
Yeah, that's why it's perfect.
你得到他的钱斯奈德家得到你
You get his money, the Snyders get you,
没人非得去植物园里参加单身派对了
and no one has to go to a bachelor party at an arboretum.
好了罗斯显然你想要娶她
All right, Russ, obviously, you want to marry her.
她很高挑性感终于不是充气的了
She's tall, hot, and, for the first time, not inflatable.
神父挖苦得好
Sick burn, Father.
好了
Oh, right?
现在金发女郎 - 谢谢
Now, blonde lady... - Thank you.
你愿意让罗斯作为你的丈夫
Do you take Russ to have and to hold,
相濡以沫无论疾病之类的吗
in just sickness, I guess?
罗斯我不知道你想让我做什么
Russ, I don't know what you want me to do.
这仍是计划中的吗
Is this still the plan?
伊克托米
Iktomi.
你愿不愿意嫁给他呢
So you gonna marry him or not?
我愿意
I do.
欢迎加入红人队家族
Welcome to the Redskins family!
泰特斯快点
Titus, come on.
我不知道华夫饼带回家还好不好吃
I didn't know if waffles would travel well,
所以我也买♥♥了炸鱼玉米饼
so I also got fish tacos.
吉米帮帮她不要签
Help her, Kimmy. Don't sign.
我知道你需要那笔钱但你会找到另一途径
I know you need the money, but you'll find another way,
就像两个基♥督♥少年签了禁欲承诺一样
like two Christian teens who signed an abstinence pledge,
因你是幸存者
'cause you're a survivor.
你从地堡幸存了下来
You survived the bunker.
你需要地堡闪回这些总会有用
You need a bunker flashback. Those always work.
而且这给了我吃些奶酪的机会
Plus, it gives me a chance to just hang out and eat some cheese.
地堡闪回
Bunker flashback.
闪回到你的悲剧过去 - 泰特斯
Flashback to your tragic past. - Titus.
触发的词
Trigger word...
雨鞋
Galoshes.
蓬岛仙舞枝状大烛台坎伯巴奇
Brigadoon. Candelabra. Cumberbatch.
科科莫双面软碟电子狗
Kokomo. Flippy-floppy. Donga.
接着活力
Razmatazz.
姑娘们你来这儿多久了
How long have you been here?
它现在结束了
It ends now!
我猜外面是冬天吉米姐妹
Wow, I guess it's winter outside, Sister Kimmy.
我们也差太远了
We were way off.
我要杀了他
I'm going to kill him!
没事你不会有事的
It's okay. You're gonna be okay.
我们不会让牧师靠近你
We're not letting the Reverend near you.
我需要靠近他
I just need to get near him!
我屁♥股♥里藏着一个冰锥
I'm hiding an icicle in my butt!
当他接近我时
When he comes at me,
我会刺向他的眼睛并捅进他的脑子
I'll stab him in the eye and drive it into his brain!
我是吉米这位是辛蒂
I'm Kimmy. This is Cyndee.
牧师想要娶你知道吗
The Reverend wants to marry you, okay?
他认为这会让我们嫉妒
He thinks it'll make us jealous.
是的只有他娶了
Yeah, and I'd only be jealous
情景喜剧中的出租车司机我才会嫉妒
if he married the cab driver from Wings.
90年代情景喜剧<插翅难飞>角色由托尼·夏尔赫布出演
快
Quick!
在冰锥融化之前告诉我去哪儿
Before the icicle melts, just tell me where to go!
没事
It's okay.
放开我
Let go of me!
我不认识你我不了解你
I don't know you. I don't understand you.
但我不会让那个怪物再伤害其他人
But I'm not letting that monster hurt another person.
为什么你这么强壮
Why are you so strong?!
今晚你不会嫁给牧师
So you're not marrying the Reverend tonight.
我会替你嫁给他
I'll marry him instead.
什么你要嫁给他
What? You're gonna marry him?
现在是时候了笨蛋们
Now is the time, idiots!
"救救我"小姐刚来这儿
Ayúdame just got here.
她不知道如何通过让他给摇滚小子的歌♥曲排名
She doesn't know how to distract the Reverend
转移牧师的注意力
by asking him to rank Kid Rock songs.
我不会有事的
I'll be fine.
算了吧
Never mind.
我的冰锥化了
I no longer have an icicle.
不客气姐妹
You're welcome, sister.
奏效了吗
Did it work?
温迪
Wendy.
我不认识你我不了解你
I don't know you. I don't understand you.
但我不会让那个怪物再伤害其他人
But I'm not going to let that monster hurt another person.
我不会签署这些文件
I'm not signing these.
我就知道
I knew it!
他告诉我说你还爱着他
He told me you were still in love with him.
是的如果那是你需要相信的
Sure. If that's what you need to believe.
哦是的
Well, it is.
你无法阻止我去见他
And you can't stop me from seeing him
因为我们就要永远在一起了