我本坚强（2015）

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt S03E05

Part 5 Feb. 22, 2023, 8:43 p.m.

根本就没有水果或者蔬菜
No access to fruits or vegetables
或者禽类下的蛋
or eggs that come from birds.
而这个社区却是滋润得不行
Meanwhile, this neighborhood is knee-deep in poosi...
泰国水果包含的营养是香蕉的五倍
a Thai fruit with five times the nutrients of a banana.
是啊有钱的人越来越有钱
Yeah, the rich get richer,
但在东道格莫斯
but in East Dogmouth,
我们根本没有像样的医疗服务
we can't get decent medical care,
我们的公共交通系统也糟透了
and our public transportation stinks,
而我们的T恤上
and our T-shirts
连超级碗大赢家都能印错
have all the wrong Super Bowl winners.
这么说你也同意了
So you agree,
应该改善你所居住区域的环境
your neighborhood deserves better,
这也是你想要鄙店进驻的原因
which is why you should want one of my stores.
什么不是
What? No.
我的店进驻到你这儿还差不多
Which is why you should want one of my stores.
快跑啊莉莲
Run, Lillian!
我得去趟洗手间
I need to bathroom.
这是弗拉什小时候
There's little Flash.
玛拉在那儿
And there's Mara!
不知道她拿了什么闪闪发光的东西
I wonder what shiny thing she's off to snatch there.
是不是有谁点了一盘热菜
Did someone order a hot dish?
她来了还带了玉米布丁
Well, she's here, and she brought corn pudding.
杰圭琳我都不知道你跟一盘热玉米相比
Jacqueline, I don't know what looks more delicious,
谁看起来更美味
you or that pan of hot corn.
你现在是我最喜欢的儿媳妇儿
You're my favorite daughter-in-law now.
你得再戴上牙套
You're gonna have to get braces again.
外婆和罗斯
Oh, Meemaw and Russ.
她就长这样
So that is what she looks like.
好了开吃吧
All right, let's eat.
看来你找到了
So you found it.
我说的是食谱
The recipe.
布丁挺好吃的对吧
And it came out great, right?
你想什么时候吃我都做给你
I'll make it for you anytime you want.
不用了我只喜欢"玉米"乐队
No, the only Korn I like is the band
是在我结婚时候表演的那支
that played at my wedding.
我只想要食谱
I just want the recipe.
为什么
Why?
因为这是传统
Because... tradition.
写字艺术已经失传
And proper penmanship is a lost art,
就像醉驾
like drunk driving.
我就是想要食谱行吗
I just want it, okay?
我想要是因为罗斯有
I want it because Russ has it.
外婆怎么能把食谱给他而不给我
How could Meemaw give it to him instead of me?
怎么会有人给他东西而不给我
How could anyone give anything to him instead of me?
他是个废物杰圭琳
He's a loser, Jacqueline.
抱歉他做♥爱♥有赢过你吗
I mean, I'm sorry, but has he ever beaten you at sex?
每次都是我赢
Hmm? I win every time.
我是最牛的快枪手
I'm the fastest.
但如果外婆爱罗斯胜过爱我
But if Meemaw loved Russ more than me,
那我又算什么
what does that make me, hmm?
比罗斯还糟糕
Worse than Russ?
或者说两个罗斯
So, like... two Russes?
抱歉杜克但我不能把食谱给你
I'm sorry, Duke, but I can't give you the recipe,
即便你会因此恨我
even if it means you hate me,
即便家里所有人都与我为敌
even if the whole family turns its back on me
让我热脸贴冷屁♥股♥
so I'm just looking at butts.
我也不会背叛罗斯的
I won't betray Russ.
你真的爱我哥哥
You actually love my brother?
你不是那种拜金女
You're not just a gold digger?
那就是说罗斯有两样我没有的东西了
That means Russ has two things I don't...
食谱
the recipe
还有与一个深爱他的人愿意与他结婚
and a real marriage with someone who loves him.
我都不知道那是什么样的感觉
I don't even know what that's like.
嗨
Hey.
我肯定你妻子
I'm sure your wife is with you
不仅仅是为了钱才跟你在一起的
for more than just your money.
我是说你有好几条船
I mean, you've got... boats.
而且你也懂得鉴赏名表
And you know a lot about watches.
就好像我一直在讲她却没有在听
It's like I'm talking, but she's not listening.
格雷琴我们得谈谈
Gretchen, we have to talk.
这位肯定是吉米
This must be Kimmy.
听着你说得对
Look, you were right.
那些猫不过是小狗崽
That cats are just baby dogs?
你不会成功的因为是个女人
That this didn't work out because you're a woman,
因为这个世道不允许你像男人一样做大事
because the world won't let you do it like a man.
男孩们没学会做饭不是你的错
See, it's not your fault that boys don't learn how to cook
男人痴迷于女色也不是你的错
or that people are obsessed with how women look.
你也看到他们是如何对待草莓女的
I mean, have you seen what they did to Strawberry Shortcake?
Strawberry Shortcake是80年代卡♥通♥角色有动画片电影及多种周边产品
更像是草莓婊吧
More like Slutberry Slutskank.
联邦调查局不肯进来不是你的错
And it's not your fault the FBI won't come in here
因为他们看到你哭了
because they saw you crying.
那是催♥泪♥弹♥的原因 - 我刚才就是那么说的
Because of the tear gas. - That's what I said!
明白吗你永远不会如愿
See, this was never gonna go how you wanted it to.
我不会放弃的
Well, I'm not giving up.
我还有颗炸♥弹♥
I've still got a bomb.
但如果你引爆♥炸♥弹就等于认输
But getting 'sploded is giving up.
炸♥弹♥是男人发明的就是为了逃避问题
It was invented by men to avoid dealing with stuff.
不放弃就是要像象群的女族长一样
Not giving up is the elephant matriarch,
带领她的族人和小象
leading her herd of bulls and calves
穿过被烈日灼烧的塞伦盖蒂平原
miles across the baking Serengeti.
不放弃就是要像雌性♥虎♥鲸一样
Not giving up is the female orca,
在虎鲸的族群里年长的女性受到敬重
whose matrilineal society relies on older females
她们会带领鲸群去到家族聚食场
to guide the pod to their traditional feeding grounds.
或者想想倭黑猩猩
Or consider the bonobo,
它们的基因与人类最为接近
genetically our closest cousin.
雌猩猩在群族里起着带头作用
A troop of bonobos is led by a veritable gynocracy.
雌猩猩身边有一群忠心耿耿的姐妹
The alpha female surrounds herself with a pack of loyal sisters
她们一起猎食抵御侵略
for hunting, defense,
当然了也一同享乐
and invariably pleasure.
你怎么知道这么多
How do you know all that?
我不知道
I don't know.
"在各个大洲的野生世界里"
"...that in the wilds of every continent,"
"雌性动物异常坚强"
females are strong as hell.
"我是弗里茨基布莫罗尼"
"I'm Fitzgibbons Munrunney."
但我想说的是你不能像男人一样经营邪教
But my point is, you can't run a cult like a man.
你得像雌倭黑猩猩
You have to run it like a female bonobo
雌虎鲸或者雌象一样发挥领导作用
or orca or elephant.
格雷琴你要做一个"猩猩象"
Gretchen, you have to be a "Bonorcaphant."
吉米
Kimmy,
你说了这么多也就这句话还像句人话
that's the only thing you've ever said that makes any sense.
所以不要放弃
So don't give up.
勇敢走出去直面结果…
Get out there and face the consequences.
像一个女人一样
Like a woman.
我下一个邪教成员仅限女性
My next cult is gonna be all women.
会是一个安静的宗教
It's gonna be so quiet.
嗨格雷琴在吗
Hey, is Gretchen out there?
我们用强力胶把鸡鸡粘到一起了
We, uh, Krazy-Glued our wieners together.
再见到你真好吉米
Nice to see you again, Kimmy.
泰特斯在这儿已经坐了有一会儿了
Titus has been sitting here for quite some time.
抱歉我之前有点急事
I'm sorry. Something came up.
他病得很重
He was pretty sick.
而且害怕极了
And scared.
知道吗
You know what?
男版吉米才不会受到这种待遇
A male Kimmy wouldn't be treated this way.
你们所有人都会想
You'd all be like,
"看看吉米是一个多棒的男人啊
"Ooh, look at what a great male Kimmy that is,
过来接他的泰特斯"
picking up his Titus."
咱们回家吧兄弟
Let's go home, buddy.
我偷了瓶酒
I stole wine.
不呀我怎么说来着