我本坚强（2015）

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt S02E01

Part 1 Dec. 2, 2020, 2:57 p.m.

**Oh, the weather outside is frightful*
*外面的天气真可怕
Merry Christmas.
圣诞快乐
I made everyone stockings.
我给每一个人都织了袜子
Yours truly.
我自己
And Murasaki.
还有Murasaki
Murasaki doesn't do Christmas.
Murasaki不过圣诞节
Gosh, I love Christmas:
天啊我爱圣诞节
the music, untangling things,
听着音乐拆开礼物
putting lights outdoors and trees indoors.
在室外张灯结彩在室内布置圣诞树
Say what?
还有什么
And we're all together with so much to celebrate:
我们欢聚一堂为如此多美好的事情庆祝
special friendships and new adventures
非同一般的友谊和全新的人生冒险
and giving a final "Later, gator"
最后再说一句 "再见"
to the problems of yester--
让烦恼属于过往
Yester-- urp.
嗝往
You heard me.
你听到了
Honey, you should see a doctor.
亲爱的你应该去看医生
It's like a mouse died in the walls of your body.
这味道好像是你体内死了一只老鼠
Ho, ho, ho!
嗬嗬嗬
Merry Christmas to all of youse!
祝你们所有人圣诞快乐
Santa?
圣诞老人
Santa.
圣诞老人
Oh, I can't kiss you. I'm married.
我不能亲吻你我已经结婚了
The Jews took my painting.
那些犹太人夺走了我的画
Now it's a party.
现在才是真正的派对
Ho, ho, ho. You ho.
嗬嗬嗬你这个贱♥人♥
I'm gonna kill you.
我要杀了你
Three months earlier on this mess...
这件破事发生之前的三个月
I've been wanting to bring you to this place
自从我看到这家店的名字叫"迷你汉堡"
ever since I saw it was called Sliderz.
我就一直想带你来
I apologize, though.
不过我要向你道歉
There aren't actually any slides in here.
其实这里并没有任何"滑梯"
But look at these tiny hamburgers.
但是看看这些迷你汉堡
They make you feel like a giant.
它们使你感觉像个巨人
I'm gonna eat you up in one bite.
我要一口吃掉你
"Please, no, I have a family."
"求求你不要吃我我还有家人"
This is so fun, Kimmy.
这太有意思了 Kimmy
I'm so glad I ran away from my green card marriage
我很高兴我逃离了我的绿卡婚姻
to go on dates with you.
继续跟你约会
I'm a vegan.
我是素食主义者
Wait, what did you say?
慢着你刚才说什么
I said, "I'm a vegan."
我说 "我是素食主义者"
I thought you knew that
我以为当我们在5公里动物权益公益跑
when we met at that animal rights 5K.
相遇的时候你就已经知道这件事了
Oh, I thought that was so animals could marry each other.
我还以为那活动是为了让动物们可以自♥由♥结婚
Well, I think this date is going...
我觉得这次约会进展得
Hated it.
好讨厌
Oh, it's hard because
这很困难是因为
you're still hung up on your ex.
你还跟你的前任藕断丝连
I get it.
我能理解
I still think about my first love, Bobby.
我还会回想起我的初恋 Bobby
We went to summer camp together on Roosevelt Island.
我们曾经一起参加罗斯福岛的夏令营
Little Bobby Durst.
小Bobby Durst
He was my first crush.
我为他倾倒
Literally, he tried to crush me.
就是字面意思他想要击倒我
It's just, I waited 15 years to get my life back,
我等了15年才重新恢复自己的生活
and then I got a job, I got a boyfriend,
后来我找到了工作找到了男朋友
but then the world was like, "Psych!"
然后这个世界好像在对我说 "你神经病啊"
I know, dear, you want it all right now:
我理解亲爱的你现在就想得到全部
the career, the husband,
美满事业如意郎君
the teardrop tattoo.
还有泪滴纹身
But hey, have a little fun for five minutes.
但是先去寻欢作乐吧
Hey, let me take you out.
让我带你出去
Ooh, I'm a great wingman.
我可是撩汉好队友
Men find me very approachable
男人们发现我非常容易亲近
because my eyes are large
因为我有一双大眼睛
and my hair is like beautiful spaghetti.
而且我的头发长得像好看的意面
I get 'em on the hook.
我可以把他们钓上钩
Then we'll slip 'em a disco biscuit
然后我们悄悄地在饮料里下摇♥头♥丸♥
and pull a switcheroo.
再偷偷地把饮料换给他们
Get 'NSYNC, Kimberlake. I got to go get divorced.
跟上我的步伐 Kimberlake 我要去离婚
Oh, we're gonna paint the town red tonight.
今晚我们要大肆狂欢
Ooh, two questions.
两个问题
Do you like Spanish guys, and can you roller-skate?
你喜欢西班牙小伙子吗还有你会滑旱冰吗
Yes, but only frontways.
喜欢只接受正面体♥位♥
And probably.
可能会吧
Oh, wait, I said that backwards.
慢着我说的是"可能喜欢只会向前滑"
**Unbreakable*
*坚不可摧
**They alive, damn it*
*她们活下来了卧♥槽♥
**It's a miracle*
*真是个奇迹
**Unbreakable*
*坚不可摧
**They alive, damn it*
*她们活下来了卧♥槽♥
**But females are strong as hell*
*但是女人可真牛逼啊
**Unbreakable*
*坚不可摧
**They alive, damn it*
*她们活下来了卧♥槽♥
**It's a miracle*
*真是个奇迹
**Unbreakable*
*坚不可摧
**They alive, damn it*
*她们活下来了卧♥槽♥
**That's gonna be, uh...*
*接下来是
**you know, uh，a fascinating transition.*
*那个华丽的变身
**Damn it*
*卧♥槽♥
Hey, your house is that way, dummy.
你的房♥子在那边呆子
Oh, my God, thank you.
我的天啊谢谢你
I've been standing here for hours.
我已经站在这里好几个小时了
Watch out. I pooped over there.
小心点我在那边拉了粑粑
So, according to the license presented by Mrs. Wilkerson,
根据Wilkerson太太提供的证书
you two were married on June 6, 1998.
你们俩是在1998年6月6日结婚的
Barely.
这也能叫结婚
And do you, Ronald Ephen Wilkerson,
Ronald Ephen Wilkerson 你是否愿意
take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?
娶这位女子为你的合法妻子
Mm-kay.
好吧
And Mrs. Wilkerson claims that you abandoned her
而且Wilkerson太太声称你在1998年6月6日
on June 6, 1998.
抛弃了她
Wait a minute.
等一下
That's the same day.
那是同一天
Is it? I wouldn't know.
是吗我不清楚
You left before we even did our first dance.
你甚至在我们跳第一支舞之前就离开了
And you know our choreography was on point.
而且你知道我们的编舞非常完美
Mm, you dropped me every time.
你没有一次能接住我
I thought at least you ran away to be with a man.
我还以为你至少是跟一个男的跑了
But here you are,
但是你却在这里
taking advantage of some other goofy girl
占一个傻女孩的便宜
dressed like she's on Scooby damn Doo.
她穿得像个他妈的史酷比狗
Thank you.
谢谢
I can't believe you, Ronald.
真没想到啊 Ronald
Do not call me Ronald.
不要叫我Ronald
Rah-nald.
Rah-nald
You think you can walk away from your problems?
你以为你可以安然无恙地脱身吗
Well, I found you,
好了我找到你了
and I'm gonna sue you for 17 years' worth of spousal support,
我要起诉你要求你赔偿17年的配偶赡养费
$400 for the wedding itself,
还有400美元的婚礼费用
and I want my bridal jacket back.
我还要拿回我的新娘外套
I'm gonna take everything you got, Ronald Wilkerson.
我要夺走你所拥有的一切 Ronald Wilkerson
Really, Titus?
真的吗 Titus
You're just gonna run away from her again?
你还要再逃一次吗
I hear Montreal has a vibrant theater scene,
我听说蒙特利尔有一个充满活力的戏剧舞台
so au revoir, les Felicieuses.
再见了亲爱的
Maybe just go talk to Vonda.
或许去和Vonda谈一下就好了
You haven't spoken to her at all, and you guys were married.
你完全没和她说过话你们可是夫妻哎
Kim, you don't understand.
Kim 你不明白