我本坚强（2015）

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt S03E02

Part 2 Feb. 22, 2023, 8:42 p.m.

prettier...
少
less...
放点屁
gassy.
我睡在毛巾旁的小床上
I slept on a cot next to a towel shaped like a swan
就像一只戴着太阳镜的天鹅
wearing my sunglasses and plugged my seasick porthole
用圣经撕下来的纸盖住让我晕船的舷窗
with pages from the holy book.
在那个时候
But all the while...
你是不是在背着我偷吃
Were you cheating on me?
*天呐不要我不是随便跟你玩玩迈克尔*
*Hell, nah, I ain't playing With you, Michael*
*我不是跟你随便玩玩迈克尔*
*Uh-uh, I'm not fooling With you, Michael*
*后退我不是随便跟你玩玩小肉球*
*Back up, I ain't playing with you, meatball*
*迈克尔我不是随便跟你玩玩小肉球*
*Michael, I'm not playing with you, meatball*
*什么东西尝起来怪怪的因为这么做是不对的*
*Something don't taste right 'cause it ain't right*
*就好比你喝了一小口水却发现喝的是雪碧*
*Like when you take a sip of water and it turns out to be Sprite*
*我知道你的秘密现在我好后悔*
*I know your secret, and now I regret*
*后悔帮你出柜*
*Ever helping you out your closet*
*这是我应得的吗*
*Is this what I deserve?*
*我轻信了你的话*
*I took you at your word*
*你知道我没柔弱到不能对书呆子动手*
*You know I'm not too 'feminate To cut me up a nerd*
*哪种情况比较糟糕感到心碎还是把自己麻醉*
*What's worst? Being heartbroke or roach bit?*
*感到心碎还是把自己麻醉*
*Heartbroke or roach bit?*
*或者说看到你穿那身约会装*
*Or, like, seeing you in your outfit?*
*那套衣服是我送你的我更情愿把自己麻醉*
*I gave you that outfit I'd rather be roach bit*
*不是我不是跟你随便玩玩迈克尔*
*Hell, nah, I ain't playing with you, Michael*
*我不是跟你随便玩玩迈克尔*
*Uh-uh, I'm not fooling with you, Michael*
*说真的我不是跟你随便玩玩迈克尔*
*For real, I ain't playing with you, Michael*
*迈克尔我不是跟你随便玩玩小肉球*
*Michael, I'm not playing with you, meatball*
*设想如果你没有出柜*
*Imagine for a moment that you never came on out*
*你依然是躲在衣柜中*
*To yourself, still on the shelf*
*你家里还有那块飞镖靶*
*Still had that dartboard in your house*
*从来没出过皇后区*
*Never made it out of*
*仍在做你的鬼运动*
*Queens still out there playing all them sports*
*从没搞过合唱团的男高音*
*Never had the flyest tenor in the choir Up in your shor-or-orts*
*男人会喜欢你吗*
*Would dudes be into you?*
*不会的*
*Nope*
*基佬们会调侃你唬你找乐子*
*Them gays would spoof on you goof on you*
*我知道异性相吸所以我找到你帮你弄头发*
*I know that opposites attract so I find you and fix your hair*
*老娘我说的*
*Miss Thing Say.*
*不是我不是跟你随便玩玩迈克尔*
*Hell, no, I ain't playing with you, Michael*
*我不是跟你随便玩玩小肉球*
*Uh-uh, I'm not fooling with you, meatball*
*说真的我不是跟随便你玩玩米奇*
*For real, I ain't playing with you, Mikey*
*迈克尔我生你的气了先生*
*Michael, I am angry with you, mister*
*真可惜*
*Oh-oh-oh, it's such a shame*
*你糟蹋了这只猫鼬*
*You let this meerkat go to waste*
*我总是把它收拾得干干净净整整齐齐*
*I always keep it nice-nice, no fuss*
*在公交车上磨蹭就好像在说帮我的脚按♥摩♥吧*
*Grinding sideways on the bus like, rub my feet*
*你帮我按♥摩♥脚然后我们看一场警♥匪♥剧*
*You rub my feet and then we watch a cop-type show*
嗨别碰我的卡车伙计
Hey! Lay off my truck, pal!
泰特斯
Titus?
等下你从游轮上回来了
Wait. You're back from the cruise?
也许吧
Maybe.
好
Okay.
我喜欢在室外工作弹性工资
Prefers working outside, salary flexible,
跟小孩子和蜜蜂很合得来
good with children and bees.
工作代码69
Job code 69.
我知道那很有意思但我不知道原因
I know that's funny, but I don't know why.
拜托刷马师
Come on, horse-brusher.
交通协管员
Crossing guard.
那个更好呢
That's even better.
停好的当心
Stop. Yep. Watch out!
等一下
Just a minute.
早上好近来如何
Good morning! How are you?
太棒了
Yeah!
我要去念交通协管科
I'm going to school for crossing guarding!
嘿
Hey.
搞什么啊莉莲
What the hell, Lillian?
自从我上次去了邮局后
I haven't been spoken to that
就再没人对我用哪种态度说话了
way since that time I went to the post office.
抱歉亲爱的政♥治♥嘛
I'm sorry, dear. It's just politics.
我还一直把你当朋友
I thought you were my friend.
我就是你的朋友啊
I am your friend.
但如果我想为邻里做点事情
But if I'm gonna get stuff done for this neighborhood,
就得按监狱规定走宝贝儿
it's prison rules, baby.
做点事情
Get stuff done?
你这么做就是让大家无法获取到清洁的水
You're just preventing these people from getting clean water.
你觉得投票人希望这样吗
Do you really think that's what the voters want?
那咱们就问问他们
Let's ask 'em.
嗨瘾君子查理
Hey, Meth-Head Charlie.
明天你会投票给我吗
Gonna vote for me tomorrow?
当然了等下
Of course. Wait.
你刚说的是投票还是吸毒
Did you say "Vote" Or "Smoke meth"?
投票 - 投票我不能投票
Vote. - Oh, then, no, I can't.
因为我犯了重罪
I'm a felon.
你呢怪蜀黍
What about you, Creep?
犯了性侵罪还挺严重的呢
Sex offender. Big-time.
那个变♥态♥里克呢
Pervert Rick?
我是加拿大人
Canadian.
嗨等下
Hey, wait a minute.
我也犯了重罪
I'm a felon, too.
贿赂罪
Payola.
唉这个社区简直就是废物集♥合♥地
Ah, this neighborhood's just a basket of deplorables.
泰特斯不肯去登记选举资格
And Titus won't register to vote
因为他不愿履行陪审员义务
because he refuses to do jury duty.
他说没什么人他可以苟同
He says he has no peers.
那明天谁能投票
So who can vote tomorrow?
只有一个人
Only one person?
你没跟我开玩笑吧
You got to be kidding me!
吉米
Kimmy!
我得让那个红头发小笨蛋
I got to get that dumb ginger to vote for...
投给你以外的任何人 - 投票给我
Anyone but you. - Me.
我以为游轮上的工作要两个月后才能结束
I thought the cruise wasn't over for another two months.
我还以为你是我男朋友 - 我就是啊
I thought you were my boyfriend. - I am.
我不是一直都这么说嘛我男朋友在游轮上工作
It's, like, all I talk about. "My boyfriend's on a cruise."
我男朋友是个出色的歌♥手
"My boyfriend's a great singer."
那个哈巴狗跟我男朋友像极了
"Hey, that pug dog looks just like my boyfriend."
我昨晚拒绝跟一个人和
I came by your house last night after I turned down
一个木偶玩3P后去了你家不客气
a three-way with a puppet you're welcome
结果发现你跟一个男的有说有笑
only to find you laughing with some boy
那模样就好像是两个白娘们看到了色拉一样
like two white ladies looking at a salad!
你暗中监视我
You were spying on me?
我本是打算给你一个惊喜的
I was surprising you!
你偷偷摸摸的我可不成了监视嘛
You made it spying by being shady.
知道吗
You know what?
我不能跟你在一起了
I can't with you right now.
你最好打给那个头发浓密的猛♥男♥
You better call "Bucky With The Good Hair."
你说的是杰夫
You mean Jeff?
杰夫
Jeff?
杰夫是什么鬼名字啊
What kind of name is Jeff?
杰夫就是我一个朋友
Jeff is just a friend.
别再装模做样地说这个名字了
Stop saying it like it's a normal name.
如果他就是一个普通朋友
And if he was just a friend,
你们进屋后为什么要把窗帘拉下来
why did you draw the shades when you went inside the house?
为了方便看清楚电视啊
So we could see the TV.
他是过来玩<使命召唤>的
He came over to play Call of Duty.
好吧但还是不行
Oh, okay, uh, but also, no.
如果那个窘夫管他叫什么
And if Jorf, or whatever he calls himself,
只是一个朋友那你那晚为何穿着约会那身行头
was just a friend, why were you wearing your date-night clothes?
什么
What?
咱俩第二季第四集确定关系时
That blue sweater I put on you in episode 204
我让你穿的那件蓝毛衣
of our relationship.
我不知道当时只有那件衣服是干净的