金色年代

The Goldbergs S07E11

Part 2 March 1, 2020, 11:50 a.m.

Now you get to enjoy
无法形容的盛大的50岁超级华丽大派对
the unspeakably grand second 50th extravaganza
我会神乎其技地一眨眼就准备好
that I am somehow gonna pull together at the last minute.
抱歉但我有点晕
I'm sorry. I-I'm kinda reeling here.
我的整个人生就是个谎言
My whole life's been a lie.
大谎言
Big-time.
如果非让我猜是你可恨的父亲
If I had to guess, it's that your hateful father
又毁掉了你童年的另一个细节
screwed up yet another detail of your childhood.
不过有蛋糕和礼物
But, hey, cake and presents.
那该死的老混♥蛋♥
That rotten bastard.
去和他谈谈告诉他你的感受
Just go talk to him, tell him how you feel.
我会跟他谈
Oh, I'm gonna talk to him, all right.
我会好好跟他谈谈
I'm gonna talk to him good.
再把这张请帖给他
And also give him this invitation.
你怎么这么快就印出来了
How did you get these printed up so quickly?
没有我办不成的事
I get things done.
现在快去把你♥爸♥这事办了
Now you go get this done with your dad
我们就终于能办我的派对
so we can finally have my party...
你的派对你的派对
Your party. Your party.
正当我爸要和他爸争论时
While my dad had a bone to pick with his dad,
我精心挑选了某个人来帮我精进匹克球
I had handpicked someone to help me kick butt at pickleball.
巴瑞我需要你的帮助
Barry, I need your help.
做不到老兄我要期中考了
No can do, bro. I've got a midterm.
可我有体育紧急事件
But I have a sports emergency.
无需多言但首先再多说点
Say no more. But first, say more.
-是什么项目 -匹克球
- What is the sport? - Pickleball.
你几个小时后就会成为冠军
You will be a champion within hours.
你能做到吗
You can do that?
你无情的训练现在开始
Your relentless training begins now.
我连普通俯卧撑都做不起来
I could barely do a regular push-up.
你这不过是单纯坐我身上
This is just you sitting on me.
假如你能蒙眼接住酸黄瓜
If you can catch a pickle blindfolded,
你能做到任何事
you can do anything.
-巴瑞 -精神点
- Barry... - Look alive.
老天好湿而且没想到这么硬
Oh, God! They're wet and surprisingly hard.
太抱歉了
Oh, I'm so sorry.
上蜡刮蜡
Wax on, wax off.
丹尼尔就是这样学到
This is how Daniel-san learned
空手道基础防御动作的
basic defensive karate moves.
也是这样在下雨前涂上一层重要的蜡
And how to apply an important coat of wax before it rains.
巴瑞
Barry...
你会打匹克球对吗
You do know how to play pickleball, don't you?
直至今日我从没听说过匹克球
Till today, I never heard of pickleball.
所以这些不过是你坐我身上
So this was just you sitting on me
朝我头上扔酸黄瓜
and winging pickles at my head
让我帮你擦车
and having me clean your car?
绝对的要是这些行为
Totally. Wouldn't it be cool
居然真能让你精通匹克球那该多酷
if those thingsactually made you good at pickleball?
你是我最后的希望
You were last my hope.
现在我该去找谁
Who am I supposed to turn to now?
冷静
Chill.
我带你去找我的体育导师梅勒教练
I'll take you to my sports mentor, Coach Mellor.
可梅勒教练消失了
But Coach Mellor disappeared
他追随梦想去树林里教成年男人摔角了
to follow his dream to coach wrestling to adult men in the woods.
-我们永远找不到他的 -能找到
- We'll never find him. - And yet we will.
我去告诉警♥察♥他持枪抢劫我们
I'll tell the police he robbed us at gunpoint.
那他们就必须帮我们找到他
Then they'll have to find him for us.
或者我们可以去问他大哥
Or we could just ask his brother.
没那么有趣不过好吧
Not as fun, but I guess.
那是你之前朝我扔的酸黄瓜吗
Is that one of those pickles you threw at me earlier?
等你上了大学就会学会珍惜酸黄瓜
When you get to college, you'll learn the value of a pickle.
正当巴瑞和我去找梅勒教练时
While Barry and I set off to find Coach Mellor,
我爸正要去找爷爷发脾气
my dad was about to go off on Pop-Pop.
你怎么才来我在门外等了五分钟
Where you been? I've been out here five minutes.
我以为你是街对面那个爱管闲事的女人
Oh, I thought you were that busybody lady from across the street
她总来给我送吃的确保我没事
who's always trying to bring me food, make sure I'm okay.
下次开门
Open the door next time,
跟她聊聊
have a conversation,
她就再也不想来了
that'll get rid of her.
-你有什么烦心事 -这个
- What's crawling up your ass? - This.
那是什么你豪♥宅♥的房♥契吗
What is that? Deed to your fancy house?
拿来朝我炫耀刺♥激♥我吗你真可以
Came here to rub it in my face? Nicely played.
是我的出生证明
It's my birth certificate.
上面写着我比我以为的年轻一岁
It says I'm a year younger than I thought.
这样啊啊哦
Yeah. Well, oops.
"啊哦" 怎么会发生这种事
"Oops"? How the hell did this happen?
我当时很忙没时间给你过生日或做饭
I was busy. I didn't have time for things like birthdays or meals
或确定你丢没丢
or wherever the hell you were.
这么说你瞒了我一辈子
So, you've known about this my whole life?
不不是一辈子
No, no. Not your whole life.
我在你大约12岁时注意到的
I noticed it when you were about 12...
或者应该是11岁
Or, I guess, 11.
难以置信
Unbelievable.
拜托这有什么区别
Oh, come on. What difference did it make?
一整年的区别
The difference of a year.
又开始了国王陛下抱怨自己生日
Here we go again, his highness bellyaching about his birthday.
什么生日你从没给我过过生日
What birthday? You never even gave me one.
哎呦喂看看是谁每年都想过生日
La-di-da. Look who needs a birthday every year.
你以为你是肯德基上校吗
Who are you, Colonel Sanders?
-炸鸡那家伙 -他就很时髦不是吗
- The chicken guy? - He was fancy, though, huh?
谁会穿一身白套装炸那么多鸡
I mean, who would wear a white suit around all those chickens?
好吧肯德基上校是南方时髦靓仔
Fine. The Colonel is a Southern dandy.
可你从没给过我贺卡或蛋糕
But you never gave me a card or a cake
或是天杀的礼物
or, God forbid, a present!
谁知道孩子想要什么
Well, who knows what kids want?
我每年都告诉你
I told you every year!
是啊你自己的袜子
Yeah, socks that you'd call your own.
不是用来听球赛的晶体管收音机
No, a transistor radio to listen to a ball game!
你知道你得到了什么吗屋顶
You know what you did get? A roof.
你没让我露宿街头真是惯坏我了
Oh, you spoiled me by letting me indoors.
我能说句话吗
Can I just say something?
能跟我敷衍地道个歉
Yeah, give me your half-assed apology.
我不是要道歉
I wasn't going to apologize.
我想说的是如果有人多给我一年
What I was gonna say was that if anybody handed me an extra year,
我才不会用来抱怨小时候没有小马
I wouldn't spend it complaining about not getting a pony.
晶体管收音机
Transistor radio!
这人又开始了
There he goes again.
欢迎来到超棒的50岁重启派对的第一阶段
Welcome to phase one of your fabulous 50th redo party.
*生日快*
* Happy Bir... *
不快乐不要派对
Not happy and no parties.
我回屋了
I'll be in the shed.
快看
Check it out.
他愤怒走过带起的风吹熄了蜡烛
The breeze from his angry walk-by blew out the candles.
真好奇他许了什么愿
I wonder what he wished for.
如果非要我猜是回屋坐着
If I had to guess, to sit in the shed.
正当我爸让计划派对变得很困难时
While my dad made party-planning a challenge,
找到梅勒教练比我们想象得容易得多
finding Coach Mellor was easier than we thought.
梅勒教练
Coach Mellor?
瞧瞧这不是金呆格兄弟吗
Well, well, well. If it isn't the Goldfarb boys.
-你看来 -像一滩发臭的陈年大便
- You look... - Like an old, stinky dook
留在了你最爱的跑鞋里
left in your favorite running shoe,
你想去跑步但跑不了
and you want to go for a run, but you can't,
因为你的跑鞋已经属于那滩屎了
'cause that hot steamer owns that shoe now.
我只是想说"难过" 不过好吧
I was gonna say "sad," but sure,
你的屎鞋故事似乎更具色彩
I guess your dook-shoe story is more colorful.
你为什么在这
What are you doing here?
我以为你去了古怪亿万富翁
I thought you were at billionaire oddball
约翰·杜邦的狐狸捕手农场
John du Pont's Foxcatcher Farm.
我是去了但那些黑暗树林中
I was, but those dark woods
藏有许多我不愿承认的秘密
hid more secrets than I'm willing to admit.
但我决定永远不再做教练