金色年代

The Goldbergs S07E09

Part 3 March 1, 2020, 11:49 a.m.

on how to deal with my mom's cookbook.
哥们你♥妈♥的♥书简直是恐怖大全
Dude, your mom's book is a horror show!
我知道金戴夫
I know, Dave Kim.
你们族人经历过这么多惨烈事件
So much tragedy has befallen your people.
看了就覆水难收了
I can't un-read these things, man!
我回不去了
I'm different now.
我知道金戴夫
I know, Dave Kim.
你要怎么告诉你妈她不能交这份稿
How are you gonna tell her she can't submit this?
我不知道金戴夫
I don't know, Dave Kim!
我需要找到某种方法告诉她这坏消息
I just need to find some way to break it to her
这样我毁掉她的梦想时她就不会记恨我
so she doesn't hate me when I destroy her dream!
没错我根本不知道该怎么跟我妈说
Yep, I had no idea what I'd tell my mom,
直到我看到博士的坏消息大♥师♥课
until I saw Doc Katman give a master class in bad news.
强尼我想告诉你
Johnny, I just want to say
匆促乐团最牛了你也是
Rush rules, and so do you.
没错没错
True, and true.
你这哥们人不错哥们
You're a good dude, dude.
你也是强尼
So are you, Johnny.
但话说回来
But that said,
你这学期一次作业都没交所以
you haven't turned in one assignment all semester, so...
你又要不及格了
You're going to flunk again.
不我运气太差了
Oh, no! The wind's out of my sails!
幸好你这么牛坏消息打不倒你的
Luckily, you're a badass, so you can take it.
你刚刚用言语使我崩溃
You just devastated me with your words,
但我却感觉很好
but I feel great about it!
谢了随便你是谁博士
Thanks, Doc Whoever-You-Are!
博士我不明白
Doc, I don't get it.
你告诉了强尼毁灭性的坏消息
You gave Johnny Atkins life-destroying news,
他却感谢了你怎么做到的
and he thanked you for it. How?
技巧在于称赞三明治
It's all about the compliment sandwich.
称赞三明治
Compliment sandwich?
不过是把批评当成肉饼
You simply wedge your criticism, AKA the meat,
夹在两个称赞也就是面包中间
in between two compliments, AKA the bread.
太棒了这就是答案
Yes! That was the answer!
我只要给我妈做个称赞三明治就好了
Now, I just had to make my mom a compliment sandwich.
他回来了
There he is!
你特意站在门口等我吗
Were you just waiting for me at the door?
是的等了几小时而已
Well, yes, but only for hours.
快告诉我告诉我你有多爱这本书
Now, tell me, tell me, tell me how much you loved it.
我先开头
I'll start you off.
"简直完美"
"It was perfect."
我听到人们这样说了
I-I hear people saying that...
例如你现在说的
Like you, right now.
我还想补充做得好妹子
And I also want to add... You did it, girl.
关于我的写作和故事呢
Yeah, well, what about my writing, my stories?
满足并超出了你的所有期待吗
Were they everything you thought, and more?
超出了好多好多
Oh, so much more.
做得好妹子
You did it, girl!
这句你已经说过了快进入正题
You said that already. Get to it.
最上面一片面包已经给她了
Well, I had given her the top slice of bread.
看来该给肉饼了
I guess it was time for the meat.
我超级讨厌
I hated it hard.
每个字都重写
Change every word.
你说什么
Excuse me?
但等等先别生气
But wait, before you get upset...
做得好妹子
You did it, girl.
你在对我胡说些什么
What are you saying to me?
糟糕我的三明治烂透了
Oh, balls! My sandwich sucked!
我用腹中的女人厨房♥烹饪了你
I cooked you in my lady kitchen.
你是我最棒的招牌菜
You were my greatest dish,
而你居然这样对我
and this is how you treat me?
在我读你这本烂书时
I wasn't really thinking about your lady kitchen
还真没想到你的女人厨房♥
when I was reading your lousy book.
倒抽一口极寒之气
Gasp of gasps!
我这个母亲显然太失败了
I have clearly failed as a mother!
作为食谱作家也是
And as a cookbook author.
我只想让你知道你对我所做的
I just want you to know that what you have done to me
比所有马踩更惨
is worse than any horse stomp.
因为我还有双眼能看到
Because I still have eyes to see
我美丽的男孩是如何背叛我的
how my beautiful boy betrayed me.
她不喜欢这个三明治
She hated the sandwich,
于是我又加了一片面包
so I tried one more slice of bread.
可你做得好啊妹子
But...you did it, girl?
巴瑞和爱丽卡有了新工具来帮助他们共存
Barry and Erica had a new tool to help them coexist.
白♥痴♥ 车钥匙在哪
Moron, where are the car keys?
那个工具就是杰夫
And that tool was Geoff.
钥匙就在这爱丽卡我给你配了一副
They're right here. Erica, I made you your own set.
巴瑞我在你的钥匙上栓了笨重的大木头
And, Barry, I attached your keys to this cumbersome hunk of wood
我还涂成了飞人队的橙色
that I painted in Flyers colors.
好酷
Sick!
就像能启动车子的橙色双节棍
It's like an orange nunchuck that starts my car.
你做得太棒了杰判
You're killing it, Geoff-er-ee.
没错有个杰判能解决一切
Yep, having a Geoff-er-ee fixed everything...
直到三个小时后
Until three hours later.
搞什么
What the hell?
他们怎么来了
Why are they here?
因为杰判规定今晚是JTP之夜
'Cause our Geoff-er-ee ruled that it was my JTP night.
但他为什么允许你朝墙上扔致命飞镖
But why did he allow you to throw deadly lawn darts in the wall?
飞镖已经是妥协了
The lawn darts were actually a compromise.
我们最开始想扔消防斧
We started with a fireman's axe.
每层楼都有一个
There's one on every floor.
随便吧所有人都走已经凌晨了
Whatever. Everyone leave. It's after midnight.
我睡觉时夜晚才算开始
Nuh-uh! Night only starts when I sleep.
杰判你本该预防
Geoff-er-ee, you're supposed to be preventing
这种蠢事发生
this kind of stupidity.
当然没有明确区分日夜是我的错
Sure, it's my fault for not clearly defining day and night.
其实我明天一早就得去盖普
Actually, I need to be at the Gap early anyway
在牛仔墙上多加一层
to add a new level to the jean wall.
假如我每天不睡12到14小时就会累瘫
And if I don't get 12 to 14 hours of shut-eye, I am a wreck.
我觉得你这是季节性抑郁症老兄
I think you're struggling with seasonal depression, bro.
-当然 -所有人闭嘴
- For sure. - Now everyone shut up.
太阳公公出来前谁也不准走
You're not going anywhere till you see Mr. Sun.
那好你想要房♥间归你那明天车归我
Fine. You want the room? Then I get the car tomorrow.
什么明天该我用车
What? It's my car day!
我明天还要去商场停车场练漂移
I was gonna do fishtails in the ShopRite parking lot!
杰判你来裁决
Geoff-er-ee, throw a flag.
又是我的错我以为你们对彼此
Again, my fault for assuming you two would demonstrate
会有最基本的礼貌
the most basic courtesy to each other.
好吧车你开走
Fine! Take the car.
电脑归我
I'm taking the computer.
不行我明天要交一份论文
Uh-uh! I have a paper due tomorrow!
那你只能手写了
That you're gonna have to write by hand.
不杰夫做点什么
No! Geoff, do something.
小巴电脑是用来做实际工作的
Bar, the computer's supposed to be for doing actual work,
不是为了报复抱着
not to hug vindictively
让别人不能用的
so as to prevent someone else from using it.
你从没说清楚这一点
Well, you never specified that.
他说得对我从没具体说过"不能抱电脑"
He got me. I never explicitly said "no computer cuddling."
我去破图书馆好了
I'll be at the stupid library!
她走了你差点死了
She walked out, and you almost died.
我们没用斧子或许是好事
It's probably good we didn't use the axe.
正当巴瑞和爱丽卡把杰夫推到极限时
While Barry and Erica were pushing Geoff to his limits,
我妈对食谱的逼人程度也是无止境的
there was no limit to how pushy my mom could be about her book.
我们在看《私♥家♥侦♥探♥》
We're watching The Equalizer.
现在我们永远也不知道有没有破案了
Now we'll never know if things were equalized!
在我的杰作收到褒贬不一的评价后
After receiving mixed reviews on my masterwork,
我优雅地接受了现在需要更多反馈
which I took graciously, I am now seeking feedback
不要善妒的青少年的疯狂胡言乱语
that's not the demented ramblings of a jealous teenager.
很好很好
Yeah, good stuff.
你能不能往左挪一点
If you could just shimmy to the left a little,
这样遥控器就能遥控了