诊疗中（2023）

Shrinking S02E07

Part 4 Nov. 26, 2024, 12:56 p.m.

I've only read one baby book.
刚开始读婴儿书籍
Started one baby book.
好吧我买♥♥了一本婴儿书
Fine, I bought a baby book.
说实话吧
Just get to the truth.
我连一本婴儿书籍都没有
I don't even have a baby book!
这就对了 - 没时间给房♥子做儿童防护装置
There we go. - There's no time to childproof the house,
买♥♥儿童安全座椅一起吃双人餐
buy a car seat, eat for two.
我需要“怀胎十月”的时间
I want my nine months!
你为何不直接告诉你丈夫你还没准备好
Why don't you just tell your husband you're not ready yet?
不行德雷克第二我反反复复太多次了
No, other Derrick. I went back and forth too much
关于领养宝宝这事
when we started the whole baby thing.
你可能不了解我但我经常拿不定主意
You might not know this about me, but I flip flop a lot.
我留意到 - 其实我也不是经常改变主意
I picked that up. - I don't flip flop that much.
天啊我在改变主意上也拿不定主意
Oh, my God. I'm flip flopping on flip flopping.
我答应过查理我准备好了
I promised Charlie that I was ready,
如果我现在说还没准备好他就再也不会相信我了
and now if I say that I'm not, he'll never trust me again.
他已经觉得我在这件事上三心二意了
He already thinks I have one foot out the baby door,
顺便说一句
which, by the way,
如果狗门太小我们就得给房♥子加扇婴儿门
we'll have to add to our house if the doggy door's too small.
但有婴儿门这东西吗
Are baby doors even a thing?
没有 - 没有
No. - No.
请帮帮我求求你了
Please help me. I am begging you.
布莱恩先坐下好吗
Brian, have a seat, okay?
听着我知道这事不容易也很吓人
Look, I know that this is hard and scary.
是的 - 但我答应你我会好好想一想
Yeah. - But I promise you I will think about it,
就在我和德雷克运动了十秒钟然后喝得酩酊大醉之际
while Derrick and I exercise for ten seconds and then get super drunk.
不行 - 行的
Oh, no. - Yeah.
不没关系
No, it's okay.
不如这样你打给查理和所有你信任的人
How about this? You call Charlie and everyone you trust,
我们“下海”沉浸地讨论一起想出解决办法
we'll get in the sea about it, and we'll figure it out.
好的 - 好吗
Okay. - Yeah?
对这主意听起来很不错我喜欢就这么办
Yeah, that sounds great. I like that. Let's do that.
好我去给你倒杯水 - 谢谢你我好渴
All right. I'll get you some water. - Thank you. I'm so thirsty.
他怎么知道我渴了
How did he know?
我喜欢他
I like him.
他让我同时感到平静和性♥饥♥渴♥
He makes me simultaneously feel calm and horny.
我也有同感
Me too.
如果我今晚上不了他我就杀了你
And if I don't get to fuck him tonight, I'ma murder you.
好的 - 懂吗
Okay. - Okay?
我懂 - 好的
I understand. - Okay.
我明白你的意思
I get what you're saying,
但你之前不是很期待和豪尔赫见面吗
but I thought you were excited about seeing Jorge.
是的但那是因为他是我们队里唯一
I was, but that was because he was the only guy in our squad
状态一直很好的那个
who was always in a good place,
而他现在想见我是因为他过得不如意
and now he wants to see me 'cause he's fucking struggling.
每个人都会有不如意的时候
Well, people struggle.
我知道但我能给他什么建议呢
I know, but what advice can I give him?
让自己被赶出家门搬去跟你的心理医生一起住
Get kicked out of your place? Move in with your shrink?
我绝对是他最不该依靠的人
I mean, I am the last guy he should be leaning on.
我不会用这些话来做开场白
I wouldn't lead with any of that stuff.
对了丹也许你可以告诉肖恩
But, Dan, maybe you could tell Sean
是什么让你更愿意对我敞开心扉的
what made it easier for you to open up to me.
是因为他看起来像棵可怜的橡树
Is it because he looks like a sad oak tree?
随你怎么说保罗但就在今早
Say what you want, Paul, but just this morning,
一个女人说我是她交往过的五个最性感的男人之一
a woman told me I was one of the five hottest guys she'd ever been with.
这么说你排第五
So, fifth?
是第四猜错了吧
Fourth. Suck it.
无论如何丹你说吧
Anyways. Dan.
这个嘛
Well,
说实话我想我是在你说自己也很孤独的那天...
honestly, I think I started opening up the day you said you were...
开始向你敞开心扉的
you were lonely too.
我想当时想找个和我一样心理失常的心理医生吧
Guess I wanted a therapist as screwed up as I was.
如果是这样那就正中靶心了
If that's the case, bull's-eye.
但你说得对不如意的人很擅长帮助不如意的人
But you're right, fucked-up people are good at helping fucked-up people.
就拿我们来说吧
I mean, look at us.
你怎么说
What do you say?
糟了
Oh, shit.
喂布莱恩什么事 - 还好接了
Hey, Brian. What's up? - Thank God you picked up.
我以为你在工作或干无聊事
I thought you'd have work or something boring.
吉米听着你根本不知道...
Jimmy, listen, you have no idea...
我们都知道他会滔滔不绝地说然后才轮到我说所以...
We all know he's gonna go on for a while before I have to say anything, so...
抱歉肖恩你继续吧
Sorry. Sean, continue.
管他的去就去我会去见他
Fuck it. I'll do it. I'll see him.
谢谢你吉米的另一名病人
Thanks, Jimmy's-other-patient.
你今早不是到过我们公♥司♥了吗
Didn't I see you this morning?
你没事吧
Are you okay?
他强迫你了吗 - 是的
Is he holding you against your will? - Yes.
不丹是你自愿来的
No, Dan, you want to be here.
我改变主意了 - 不你没改变主意
I changed my mind. - No, you did not.
保罗他并没有
Paul, he did not.
我会给你一份其他心理医生的名单
I'll get you a list of other therapists.
这不是针对你对吉米的所有病人我都这么做
It's nothing personal. I do it for all of Jimmy's patients.
我得去见艾丽丝了
I gotta go see Alice.
(卡津巡洋舰)
Are you even listening to a word I'm saying?
你到底有在听我说话吗
糟了 - 我会从头开始说你试试看
Oh, shit. - I will start over. I swear to God.
布莱恩我当然有在听你说
Brian, of course I'm listening to you.
谢谢你愿意和我谈
Thanks for agreeing to talk to me.
我被停学了没别的事可做
I'm suspended, I have nothing better to do.
你♥爸♥很生气
Did your dad lose his shit?
他把我禁足了整整三个小时
Well, he grounded me for three whole hours.
你妈有什么反应
How'd your mom take it?
她昨晚被摩洛根赌场赶了出来
She got kicked out of Casino Morongo last night,
所以我想这事对她来说一点都不重要
so I think this is pretty low on her priority list.
该死 - 是啊
Damn. - Yeah.
她做了什么 - 她又偷偷把骰子含在嘴里了
What'd she do? - She put the dice in her mouth again.
全都怪我
This is all my fault.
我搞砸了你的生活而你真的不应该受到那样的对待
I fucked you over, and you really didn't deserve it.
我妈去世时所有人都离我而去但你却一直在身边支持我
I mean, everybody bailed on me when Mom died but you stuck by me,
我太自私了真该死
and I've been so fucking selfish,
我也没考虑到你一直在经历的那些糟心事
and I haven't thought about all of the shit that you've been dealing with.
我保证这种事不会再发生了
It won't happen again. Promise.
谢谢
Thanks.
我爱你
I love you.
我爱你
I love you.
你打算怎样处置康纳
What are you gonna do about Connor?
好的秋季假期时我会吻他
Okay. So, fall break I'm gonna kiss him
然后我会哭并且说“那是个错误”
and then I'm gonna cry, and I'm gonna say, "That was a mistake."
等他期中考试时我就暗示他我有男朋友了
And then during his midterms, I'm gonna soft launch a boyfriend.
天啊 - 对像是发张晚餐照
Oh, shit. - Yeah. Like, at dinner,
拍到一个男生的手懂吗
with the guy hand, you know?
然后在感恩节时又和他复合
And then I'm gonna get back with him on Thanksgiving,
但会说我吃得太饱没法跟他上♥床♥
but I'm gonna say I'm too full to hook up.
我喜欢你的“复仇之路”
I am loving this revenge arc for you.
小三...贱小三
Ch-Cheater, cheater, cheater bitch. Cheater, cheater, cheater, cheater biatch.
嗨
Hey.
怎么老是碰到你
How do I keep running into you?
艾丽丝没法来
Alice couldn't make it.
她和萨默在一起所以我告诉她我会转告你
She's with Summer, so I told her I'd let you know.
你为何不直接打给我
Why didn't you just call?
这个嘛...
Well...
天啊不
Oh, God, no.
别紧张我知道行规
Relax. I know the rules.
(彩虹糖)
热带口味好东西
Tropical. The good shit.
各位谢谢你们来 - 好的
Thanks for coming, everyone. - Yeah.
我还是不敢相信你说的“下海”
I still fricking can't believe that by "get in the sea"
是真的下海我还以为...
you meant get in the sea. I thought it was, like,
是一个隐喻像是他会说“糟了”
a metaphor where he was like, "Oh, no."
“我们的利润下降了” “让我们‘下海’来想想办法”
Like, "Our profits are down," like, "Let's get in the sea on it."
不是
Nope.
海洋是个神奇的地方它能帮助你理清思绪