诊疗中（2023）
Shrinking
第二季
剧集 | 诊疗中（2023） | 导航列表
诊疗中（2023）
Shrinking S02E05
Part 2
Nov. 26, 2024, 12:56 p.m.
所以你的老二像艾摩
So, your penis is like Elmo?
颜色一样 不过声音要低沉得多
Same color. Much deeper voice though.
挠我痒痒...
Tickle me. Tickle me.
够了 对 别这样...
Stop. No, stop. Stop that.
我老二的声音像巨人安德烈
My dick sounds like André the Giant.
你好 夫人 有人想要老二吗
Hello, lady. Anybody want a penis?
有人想吃买♥♥错的芝士吗
Would anyone like some wrong cheese?
我来一点 莉兹儿
I'll take some, Lizzie.
我们碰到一个叫她莉兹儿的人
We ran into this guy who calls her Lizzie.
你们...碰到麦可
You... you ran into Mac?
你有打算告诉我吗
Were you gonna tell me?
并不重要
It was nothing.
怎么啦 我并不知道会这样
What? I don't know what's going on here.
我以为德雷克什么都不在乎呢 - 不 我并没吃醋
I didn't think anything bothered Derek. - No, I'm not jealous.
我不在乎她在和我一起之前跟谁睡过
I mean, I don't care about any of the people she slept with before me.
无论是她的大学男友 还是蓝尼克罗维兹...
Not her college boyfriend, not Lenny Kravitz...
不是吧
Really?
我当时以为他是蓝尼克罗维兹
Well, I mean, I thought he was Lenny Kravitz
而他过了很长一段时间才告诉我他不是
and he didn't correct me for quite some time.
这个叫麦可的家伙让我很不爽
There's something about this Mac guy that just gets under my skin.
开始了
Here we go.
如果她要求他跟她私奔 他会毫不犹豫
If she asked him to run away with her, he wouldn't think twice.
一去不复返 噗 就像一阵烟
Gone. Poof. Puff of smoke.
这很不尊重人 对吧 - 对
And it's so disrespectful, right? - Yeah.
没错
Right.
老兄 - 不好意思
Dude. - I'm sorry.
我真的...我非常抱歉
I'm really... Seriously, I'm sorry.
嗨 爸 - 很好 你找到钱包了
Hey, Dad. - Oh, good. You found your wallet.
对 不幸的是 里面仍然没有信♥用♥卡♥
Yeah. Unfortunately, it still does not have a credit card inside of it.
能借点钱给我买♥♥些学校用品吗
Can I borrow some money for some school stuff?
什么学校用品
What kinda school stuff?
压烤汉堡
A smash burger.
听起来很合理 - 是的
That sounds about right. - Yeah.
嗨 - 嗨
Hey. - Hi.
对不起 我没办法
I'm sorry. I had to.
你没办法... - 你这贱♥人♥
You had to... - You slut!
混账 - 该死
How could you? - Shit!
嘿 冷静点
Hey, easy!
我的奶♥子♥
My boob!
嘿 萨默 有话好好说
Hey, Summer. Use your words.
你说他就像是在喷泉里的 其中一尊小小的撒尿男孩雕像
You said he looked like one of the little statue boys who pee in fountains
可你还是上了他
and you fucked him anyway.
萨默 别走
Summer, hold up.
别跟着来
Do not follow me!
你没事吧 - 是的 我没事
You okay? - Yeah, I'm fine.
对康纳来说 是件难过的事
Well, sad for Connor.
对我来说 则是开心
Happy for me.
诊 疗 中
第二季第五集
嘿 奶♥子♥没事吧
Hey. How's the boob?
很疼
It hurts.
这就是为什么我从不惹红头发的人
This is why I never fuck with redheads.
我的手沾满了闪粉
My hands are covered in glitter.
我罪有应得
I deserved that.
我真是个混♥蛋♥
I'm really such a piece of shit.
嘿 别这么说
Hey. Don't go there.
我想以告诉你...
I wanna start this conversation...
我是个性开放的爸爸来开始这段谈话
by letting you know that I am a sex-positive dad.
好恶心 不 才不要
Gross. No, we're not doing that.
谢天谢地
Thank God.
你觉得是怎么回事
What do you think's going on?
你似乎从来没对康纳特别感兴趣
I mean, you never really seemed that interested in Connor.
我不想谈论这个
I don't wanna talk about it.
好的
Okay.
我本来确实觉得我们之间似乎开始
I did kinda feel like we were starting to get to the point
能够无所不谈
where we could share anything.
你是真这么觉得 还是想让我产生内疚感
Do you really believe that or are you just trying to guilt me right now?
可以两者都有吗
Can it be both?
我通常会在这时候气冲冲地离开 但我现在太疼了
This is the part I normally storm away but I'm in pain.
我来帮你做
Do you want me to do it for you?
好啊 - 天啊 爸
Sure. - God, Dad.
还有 如果不是我妹一直惹恼我
And you know, I would come home more
我就会常回家的
if my sister wasn't always up my ass all the time.
吸过毒的人总爱挑人毛病 真烦人
You know, former addicts are always just so judgy. It's like, shit.
这么说 你自小就照顾瘾君子 然后也嫁给了瘾君子
So, you grew up taking care of an addict and then you married one.
真有意思
Interesting.
很棒的观察力 保罗 我绝对从没想过这事
Cool observation, Paul. Definitely never thought of that.
听着 我理解家里的烦心事
Look, I get the family shit.
我女儿到镇上来发表演讲
My daughter comes to town to give a speech
而现在 她 我的呆板女婿 和我前妻都在我家里
and now she, my cardboard son-in-law and my ex-wife are in my home.
我猜他们打算用聊天的方式谋杀我
I assume they plan on murdering me with small talk.
你前妻是个什么样的人 像朱莉一样性感吗
What's your ex-wife like? Is she a hot piece of ass like Julie?
没人比朱莉更性感了
Nobody's as hot as Julie.
正确答案 我会把答案报告给我的女王
That's the correct answer, and I will report that back to my queen.
好哥们 她太性感了
My man! She's so hot.
听我说 我知道你说过需要一些空间
Listen, I know you said you needed some space.
我没想越...
I don't mean to cross--
你能不能暂停说话
could you just stop talking for just a second?
为何 - 好让我离开
Why? - So I can leave.
我受够了这破事
I am so bored with this shit.
好吧 - 所有人都受够了
Okay. - Everyone is.
保罗 谁是“所有人” 公♥司♥里只有我们三个人
Who's everyone, Paul? It's just three of us who work here.
加比 听着 我想找人帮帮艾丽丝
Gaby, look, I need some help with Alice.
我听说了“奶♥子♥被揍”的事
I heard about that tit punch.
康纳让两个辣妹为了他打架 真不可思议
That's crazy Connor has two hot girls fighting over him.
这可怜的乖小孩完全不晓得 他在19岁时就达到人气巅峰
That poor little cherub has no idea he peaked at 19.
我想知道艾丽丝 这么做的原因 但她不肯告诉我
I just wish I knew why Alice did it, you know? But she won't talk to me.
你没说让她内疚的话吧
Tell me you didn't guilt her.
我不会故意让孩子感到内疚
I don't guilt children.
我确实让她感到非常内疚
I guilted her so bad.
你为什么总要当主角
Why do you always have to make shit about you?
你还想重新做朋友吗
You wanna be friends again?
真正的朋友会让对方知道 残酷的事实 所以听好了
Real friends tell each other hard truths, so here you go.
艾丽丝需要的只是感受到被爱 或许可以带她出去走走 让她高兴起来
All Alice needs is to feel loved, and maybe take her out and cheer her up
好让她不会感觉世界末日到了
so she doesn't feel like the whole world is ending.
你无需知道她为何 上了最要好的朋友的男友
You don't need to know why she bonked her best friend's boyfriend.
她心里清楚
She knows why she did it.
再说了 没人雇你来开个大♥师♥班
Besides, nobody's hiring you to teach a master class
教人如何选择合适的性♥交♥对象
on how to choose an appropriate fuck buddy.
我知道你只是在讽刺我 但那大♥师♥班一定很受欢迎
I know you're just being mean but that would be a super popular class.
你其实没必要开车送我
You didn't have to drive me.
你在说笑吗 是我想送你啊
Are you kidding? I wanted to.
你开学第一天就穿成这样
That's what you decided to wear on your first day of school?
你看起来像警♥察♥的犯人素描
You look like a police sketch.
我敢肯定萨默已经 把我做的事告诉了所有人
I'm sure Summer already told everybody about what I did,
所以我现在成了校园荡♥妇♥了
so it's time to go be the school slut.
不如这样
You know what?
系回安全带
Put your seat belt back on.
什么 为什么
What? Why?
好吧
Okay.
文身 不是吧
A tattoo? Really?
再过几周你就满18岁了
You're turning 18 in a few weeks.
我觉得不管我允不允许 你都会去文的
I figure you're gonna get one whether I say yes or not.
肯定
Definitely.
只不过 我本打算 文在一个你无法看到的地方
Though, I was gonna get it somewhere you'd never see.
搞不好你已经这么做了
For all I know, you did that already.
你笑得也太过了
You laughed way too hard at that.
来 给你 臭脸的 吃点东西
Here you go, grumpy. Eat something.
你肯定是个圣人
Well, you must be a saint.
我能想到的 唯一比和保罗谈恋爱更糟糕的事
The only thing I can think of worse than being in a relationship with Paul
就是和年老的保罗谈恋爱
诊疗中（2023）
Shrinking
剧集 | 诊疗中（2023） | 导航列表