诊疗中（2023）

Shrinking S02E05

Part 4 Nov. 26, 2024, 12:56 p.m.

There's my baby angel. - Mama.
妈妈 - 真高兴见到你
Oh, Mama. - It's so good to see you.
你的头发太漂亮了
You hair looks amazing.
看吧我就说她的眼睛看不清楚了
See, I told you her eyes aren't working.
天啊闭嘴
Oh, my God, be quiet.
只不过是15分钟的办公室手术你到底在怕什么
It's a 15-minute in-office procedure. What are you so afraid of?
我知道他们会切开你的眼球
I know they cut open your eyeball.
不然怎么医治眼睛呢
How else they gon' get in there?
我才不想让他们医治
I don't want 'em in there.
那你就不能开车
Then you can't drive no more--
好了 - 你这是什么态度...
Okay. - Who are you talking...
妈别急... - 你危害道路
Wait, wait. Mom. - You a danger to the road.
什么
What?
妈你能不能去做手术为了我
Mom, can you please get the surgery? For me?
好吧行为了你
All right, fine. For you.
但我可不要戴眼罩我又不是海盗
But I don't want no eye patch though. I ain't no damn pirate.
好了现在你说声“谢谢”
Okay, now you say "Thank you,"
然后我会说“不客气”
and then I will say "You're welcome."
去你的加比
Fuck you, Gaby.
不客气
You are welcome.
收♥容♥所♥并没采用我拍的狗狗照片
The shelter isn't using my dog pics.
他们说用手♥机♥拍了直接发会更方便
They say it's easier to just take them on their phones and post them.
你相信这些屁话吗
Do you believe this shit?
好的
Okay.
我知道你喜欢对我冷处理
I know you love giving me the silent treatment,
但切记如果持续两天以上我就会开始喜欢这样了
but remember if it goes longer than two days I start to like it.
这周末才跟你说话
I'll talk to you this weekend.
该死我刚已经开口了
Goddamn, I just talked.
嘿康纳
Hey, Connor.
我在想关于萨默的事
I was thinking, with Summer,
你为什么不看在你们那美好而感人的
why don't you just be grateful for the amazing
九天相处而心存感激呢
and emotional nine days you had together?
是十天 - 那更具意义了
Ten. - Even more meaningful.
但你必须带着积极的心态回大学上课
But you've got to go back to college in a positive headspace.
新学期快要开始了对吧
I mean, the semester starts soon, yeah?
上周已经开始上课了
Classes started last week.
我和萨默相处得那么开心
I was having such a good time with Summer
现在我觉得我必须留下这样我才能解决这个问题
and now I feel like I have to stay so that I can fix this.
请别生气
Please don't be mad.
我感觉你在生气
I feel like you're mad.
我没生气
I'm not mad.
我只是需要透透气
I just need some air though.
嗨莉兹 - 天啊他无处不在
Hey, Liz. - Oh, my God, he's everywhere.
看看这个我文了和艾丽丝一样的文身
Check this out. I got matching tattoos with Alice.
是蒂亚名字的缩写
That's Tia's initials.
我起初觉得这么做也许不太恰当就如果我又开始约会
At first, I thought it might be tricky, you know, when I start dating again,
而我手臂上有着另一个女人名字的缩写
to have another woman's initials on my arm,
但后来我意识到以这方式告知他人我妻子死了还挺酷的
but then I realized it's a pretty cool way to tell someone my wife's dead.
现在不适合说这个吉米
Not now, Jimmy.
一切还好吧
Everything okay?
别发呆了莉兹儿
Earth to Lizzie.
莉兹儿你没事吧莉兹儿
Lizzie, you okay? Lizzie.
你控制不住自己是吧
You can't help yourself, can you?
好吧你知道艾丽丝想文小文身的想法从何而来吗
Fine. Do you know where Alice got the idea for a tiny tattoo?
是从我这里从我的这些小文身
From me. From my tiny tattoos.
是我帮你抚养她的那段日子里我们一起想出的主意
We came up with it back when I was raising her for you.
你还知道我刚发现什么吗
And do you know what I just found out?
康纳的学校的新学期开始了但他没回去上学
Connor's school just started, but he's not there,
因为他正在我厨房♥里哭泣就因为你女儿跟他上了床
because he's in my kitchen crying because your daughter slept with him
并毁了他的生活
and fucking exploded his life.
天啊 - 天啊...
Oh, boy. - Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
我不是那样说的 - 你就是这么说的
I don't sound like that. - That's exactly how you sound.
听着出轨的人是康纳
Listen, Connor is the one who cheated.
你真的认为康纳有机会选择他和谁上♥床♥吗
Do you really think there's a world where Connor gets to choose who he fucks?
不 - 我感觉自己快疯了吉米
No. - I feel like I'm losing it, Jimmy.
而每次我有这种感觉我发现源头都来自一个人
And every time I feel that way, I can trace it back to one person.
没错就是你
Yeah. You.
此外万分感激你把肖恩带入到我的生活
And many, many thanks for bringing Sean into my life
好让我能创业然后找到我的人生目标
so I could start a business and find my purpose.
“寻找人生目标莉兹”
"Find your purpose, Liz."
它现在变成了一个我得善后的巨大烂摊子
Now, it's turned into a giant shit pie that I have to eat.
这不能怪我是你去... - 我还没说完
It's not my fault that you went-- - I am not done yet.
我们的朋友圈被你那“有需求”的老二给搞砸了
You totally fucked up our friend group with your needy penis.
也许它并不可悲或自私但它非常“有需求”
Maybe it's not sad or selfish, but it's so needy.
别在意 - 还有
It's okay. - And then,
你招惹了帕姆的施工队
you mess with Pam's construction crew.
他们现在往我们的院子里扔酒瓶了
Now they're throwing bottles into our yards.
而通常情况下每当我崩溃时都能得到德雷克的帮助
And normally, Derek would help me through my meltdown,
但多亏了你他不跟我说话了
but thanks to you, he's not speaking to me,
而出于某种原因这一次我并不开心
and for some reason, I don't like it this time.
我已经为那事道歉了你也原谅了我
I apologized for that and you forgave me.
我撤回对你的原谅你罪无可恕
You're unforgiven. You are fucking unforgiven.
而最初不肯原谅他人的其实是你
And you're the original unforgiver.
但你不在乎你什么也没做
But you don't care. You don't do anything about it.
就拿加比来说
Like with Gaby.
我终于有了个很棒的朋友
I finally had a cool friend.
我甚至向所有我讨厌的人炫耀说我有她这么一个朋友
I even bragged to all the people I hate about her,
但因为她不再来这里了
but because she doesn't come around here anymore,
他们不相信真有这人存在
they don't believe she's real.
是的我可能说过她有2米高
And yes, I might've said she was 7' tall.
但赶走她的人是你你却什么都没做
But you drove her away and you've done nothing about it.
你就坐在那里
You're just sitting around
等着有人骑着白马到来
waiting for someone to gallop in on their white horse
帮你搞定一切因为这就是你的做派
and fix everything for you because that's what you fucking do.
对吧不是吗
Right? Isn't it?
去死吧吉米
Fuck you, Jimmy.
本来是开心的一天
This was a fun day.
如果你们想领养孩子得回答几个问题
If you go the adoption route, I have a few questions.
记住答案没有对错
And remember, there are no wrong answers.
好第一个问题是否有种族偏好
Okay, first up, any racial preferences?
佩德罗帕斯卡是什么种族
What's Pedro Pascal?
看来也会有错误答案
Maybe there are some wrong answers.
好下一题
Okay, next question.
你们是否愿意考虑领养患有疾病
Would you be willing to consider a child with a medical condition
需要额外照顾的孩子
who may require extra care?
当然愿意
Of course.
不愿意
No.
我能看到
I can see you.
你可以直接说不愿意很多坏心肠的都这么说
You can just say no. Lots of bad people say no.
我有个问题
I have a question.
如果这宝宝不喜欢我怎办
What if this baby doesn't take to me?
可以“退货”吗
Can we send it back?
这个嘛不能退货但政策规定 30天内可换
Well, there are no returns, but there is a 30-day exchange policy.
真的 - 假的这可是宝宝
Really? - No. It's a baby.
接下来都会是这样吗
Is this how it's going to be?
习惯就好
You'll get used to it.
我想我应该没法习惯
I don't think I will.
这么说你因为做自己而出洋相了
So, let me see. You embarrassed yourself by being yourself?
这怎么会是我的错
How is that my fault?
因为多亏了你
Because, thanks to you,
我很害怕自己会有一个疏远的女儿
I'm freaking out that I'm gonna end up with an estranged daughter
以及一个不愿和我说话的前任
and an ex who won't speak to me.
就跟你的前任谈谈呀
Just talk to your ex.
你连她来的目的是什么都不清楚
You don't even know why she's here.
也许她发现了一幅价值十亿美元的画而一半是你的
Maybe she found a painting worth a billion dollars and you get half.
有可能是好事
It could be fun news.
苏珊
Susan.
你来这里干吗
Why are you here?
我有个最近被诊断出患有帕金森症的朋友
I had a friend who recently got diagnosed with Parkinson's.
她在数个月后去世了
She died a few months later.
我就觉得我们应该在你死之前再谈谈