好想做一次（2020）

Hey, can I get you guys something?
你们真是秀色可餐 看着你们让我感到很饥渴啊
I know looking at you makes me thirsty for a tall drink of water.
天啊 德维 你真是太可悲了
Good God, Devi, that was pathetic.
我们今晚筹集的善款 是要用来援助你的吗？
Are you the charity we're raising money for tonight?
搞什么？你“裆”住了我的“性”福
What the hell? You just cockblocked me.
-你也没有裆啊… -行吧 你阻止我活在“裆下”
- You can't cockblock someone... - Fine, you clam jammed me.
从没听过这个说法
Never heard that one before.
你在做什么？除了丢人现眼之外？
What are you doing aside from embarrassing yourself?
要是你必须要知道
Well, if you must know,
就是埃莉诺说我需要亲吻一个人 才能除去我的性气质上的尘灰
Eleanor says I need to kiss someone to make my sexual vibes less dusty.
是啊 我想你已经很久 没有发生性行为了
Mmm, yeah, I guess it has been a while for you, huh?
你还好意思说
You're one to talk.
自从安妮莎甩了你之后 你亲过多少人？
How many people have you kissed since Aneesa dumped your ass?
你♥爸♥爸不算
Your dad doesn't count.
也许我很久没勾搭过别人了
Maybe I haven't hooked up in a while,
但这是我自己的选择 不像你是被形势所逼
but by choice, not by circumstance like you.
我打赌我今晚可以亲到别人 但你亲不到
Mmm. Well, I bet that I kiss someone tonight and you don't.
德维 甜美、头脑简单、愚蠢的德维
Mmm, Devi. Sweet, simple, stupid Devi.
你的嘴巴在写支票 但你的嘴唇不能兑现
Your mouth is writing a check that your lips can't cash.
但我的双唇是一整所银行
But these babies are the whole damn bank.
-你真烂 -对 能把别人的嘴亲烂
- You suck. - Yeah, someone's face!
行 挺妙的
Yeah. That was good.
-给你 -谢谢
- Here you go. - Thanks.
帕克斯顿？你来这里做什么？
Paxton? What are you doing here?
我跟谭艾迪说了 我没兴趣 进行丑女翻身 变成窈窕美眉
I told Eddie Tan I'm not interested in getting She's All That- ed.
什么？你误会了 我是来做义工的
What? No, I'm volunteering.
埃莉诺说我应该来这后面帮你
Eleanor said I should help you out back here in the...
后厨这里
kitchen.
哦 那好吧
Oh, well, okay.
要是有人点咖啡 我们就把咖啡倒进杯子里
When someone orders coffee, we pour some coffee into a cup.
要是有人点曲奇 就从这个盒子里拿一块给他们
And when someone orders a cookie, we give them one out of this Entenmann's box.
看来你不需要两个人来完成这份工作 那我就在这儿歇着好了
Doesn't seem like you need two people to do that, so I'll just chill over here.
谢谢
Thanks.
喂 可以给我那桌来两杯咖啡吗？
Hey. Can I get two coffees for my table?
马上来
Coming right up.
餐桌服务得顺利吗？
So, how's the table waiting going?
挺好的
It's good.
-咖啡倒得怎么样？ -很好
- How's the coffee pouring going? - Good.
那就好
Good. Okay.
-一会儿见 -再见
- Um, see you in a bit. - Bye.
-你们勾搭上了？ -什么？
- So you guys hooking up? - What?
没有啊
No.
绝对没有 你真是胡说八道
Definitely not. It's crazy you would say that.
好吧 看来我错了
All right. Guess I was wrong.
是啊 你的确错了 因为我和安妮莎只是普通朋友
Yeah, you are wrong because Aneesa and I are just friends.
好
Okay.
我只是好奇问问 什么让你觉得我们俩好上了？
But just out of curiosity though, what would make you think we were hooking up?
我不知道 你们好像很喜欢对方
I don't know. It seemed like you guys were into each other.
真的吗？她看起来像是喜欢我吗？
Really? She seemed like she was into me too?
这是怎么回事？
What's happening here?
好吧 我和安妮莎的确接吻了
Okay, so Aneesa and I did kiss.
那都是一万年前的事情了 但你别说出去
Like a million months ago. But you can't tell anyone.
我能跟谁说呢？
Who would I tell?
应该不会有人在乎吧
I don't know anyone who would care about that information.
我甚至连德维和埃莉诺都没说 因为我不想让安妮莎被出柜
I haven't even told Devi or Eleanor because I don't want to out Aneesa,
我不想让我们的友谊变得尴尬
and I don't want to make our friend group weird...
但你是最先发觉我们不对劲的人 那你觉得该怎么办？
...but you're the first person to notice something. So what do you think?
那为什么没再接吻了？
Why haven't you guys kissed again?
我不知道 好像我们一直都在一起玩
I don't know. It's like we've been hanging out all the time,
但我们之间有奇怪的紧张情绪
and there's this weird tension between us,
但我们俩都不会走出第一步
but neither one of us will make the first move.
那你先走第一步嘛
So just make the first move then.
我都不知道该怎么做
I don't really know how to do that.
我知道
I do.
好了 大卫 选好受害者了吗？
All right, David. You picked out your victim yet?
我盯上了三号♥桌的法兰绒和牛仔衣
I've got my sights set on flannel and denim at table three.
达米安和卢卡斯？ 他们是一对 也就是男男朋友
Mmm, Damian and Lucas? They're together. As in boyfriends.
第三个呢？他看起来挺直的
What about the third one? He seems kind of straight.
他戴了羽毛围巾
He's wearing a feather boa.
我刚刚没有看到
I did not see that.
大卫 我给你省点时间吧
David, let me save you some time.
大部分来参加戏剧社活动的人 不是被女朋友拖过来的
Most guys at drama club events are either dragged here by their girlfriends
不然就是来物色男朋友的
or are looking for boyfriends.
我看到的唯一一个例外 就是那边的亚历山卓
The only exception I see is Alejandro over there.
可恶
Damn it.
如果你想退出的话
If you want to call it quits,
可以直接宣布我胜出 这样你就不会丢人了
we can save you further embarrassment and just say that I won.
你没赢 你表现得跟我一样糟糕
You didn't win. You're doing just as badly as I am.
那是因为我还没出手
That's because I haven't even tried yet.
对你来说 戏剧社里的选择也许不多
Drama club may not have a lot of options for you,
但我的选择令人眼花缭乱
but I am swimming in possibilities.
没有人比戏剧社的女孩更饥渴
No one's hornier than a theater girl.
看看那边 整桌人都穿着紧身胸衣
Uh, look at them. That whole table's wearing corsets.
哇
Whoa.
要是想吸引他们 我只需要把帽子戴上
All I have to do to attract them is just pull up my hoodie
摆出一副受了创伤的样子
and look a little tortured.
打住 你不要这么贬低我们女性
Okay. Hey, give my gender a little credit.
你是本吧？ 你看起来好像经历了什么困难
Ben, right? You seem like you're really going through something.
你可以跟我们聊聊 我和我的朋友们在那边练习英国口音
If you want to talk, my friends and I are just over there practicing our British accents.
我的天 好吧 你赢了
Oh my God. Fine. You win.
去那边接吻吧
Go on over there and smooch away.
不用了 我还是等等吧
Nah, I'm... I'm gonna wait.
要权衡我的选择 主动送上门来的肯定不是什么好货
You know. Weigh my options. You always throw out the first pancake.
你太自大了
You are so cocky.
这太难熬了
This sucks.
今晚本来是我回归性感社会的夜晚
Tonight was supposed to be my reintroduction into sexy society,
但如果我找不到任何人 我怎么能把旱田变水田呢？
but how am I supposed to break my dry spell if I can't find anyone to...
你现在看到的是一个很常见的现象
What you are witnessing right now is a fairly common phenomenon
几乎会发生在所有少女身上
that happens to almost every teen girl.
在这一刻 一个毫不起眼的呆瓜
It is the moment when an unremarkable dork
拿到了一把吉他 突然成了全世界最迷人的男人
is given a guitar and suddenly becomes the hottest man in the world.
科学家称之为艾德·希兰效应 目前尚无解药
Scientists call it the Ed Sheeran effect. There is no known cure.
我知道要亲谁了
I know who I'm gonna kiss.
卡玛拉 看看这个地方 太无情无味了
Kamala, look at this place. It's so soulless and bland.
我本来希望能像艾斯酒店一样 新潮一点 不拘一格
I was hoping for something a little bit more funky eclectic like an Ace Hotel,
但这是唯一带家具的选择
but this is one of the only options that came pre-furnished.
你知道还有什么带家具的选择吗？
You know what else is pre-furnished?
我的房♥子 以及让你免费住的房♥间
My house and the room you live in for free.
-阿姨 -怎么了？
- Auntie. - What?
你有没有看过洗手间？
Did you even take a look at the bathroom?
铺了地毯 真的不太卫生
It's carpeted. It's really not very sanitary.
如果这个地方最差的地方 是铺了地毯 那我应该能应付
If the worst part about this place is that it's carpeted, I think I can deal.
嗨 你是新来的吗？我是凯莉
Hi, are you new here? I'm Kayley.
我住在隔壁
I live next door.
你好 我是卡玛拉 很高兴能成为你的邻居
Hello, I'm Kamala. I'm so excited to be your neighbor.
也许有一天我会过来跟你借一罐糖
Maybe I'll come over and borrow a cup of sugar from you sometime.
我不能吃碳水化合物 你是她的妈咪经纪人吗？
I'm not allowed to have carbs. Are you her momager?
那是什么？ 这里怎么有这么多孩子啊？
What is that? And... And why are there so many children here?
住在松林区的 要不是雄心勃勃的儿童演员
Everyone who lives at the Pinewoods is either an aspiring child actor
那就是辞了职的父母
or a parent who has quit their job
让孩子来养家
so that their child can provide for the family instead.
妈妈 你听起来一点都不像警♥察♥
Mom, you don't sound like a cop at all.
你演得那么烂 我怎么能试镜成功呢？
How am I supposed to nail this audition when you're giving me nothing?
那是塞西莉亚
That's Cecilia.
她很有天赋 但她妈妈有时候真的是蠢得要死
She's so talented, but her mom can be a real dumb bitch sometimes.
好了 孩子们 谢谢你们
Okay, children. Thank you very much.
去找你们的父母或合法监护人吧
Back to your parents or whoever your legal guardians may be.
-走吧 各位 -非常感谢 谢谢你们来拜访
- Come on, guys. - Thank you very much. Thanks for visiting.
你不能住在这里
You cannot live here.
喂！弦拨得不错啊 亚历山卓
Hey! Great string work, Alejandro.
我懂的 因为我弹竖琴