好想做一次（2020）

我在我们的共用浴室里遇到过他几次
I've run into him a few times in our Jack and Jill bathroom.
你妈不知道你在跟他约会 算你走运
You're lucky your mom doesn't know that you're dating him.
等等 你为什么需要…
Wait, why do you need...
天啊 德维
Oh my God, Devi.
你们是要上♥床♥吗？
Are you going to have sex?
-他逼你了吗？ -没有
- Is he pressuring you? - No.
我想这么做 我很期待
- I want to. I'm excited about it. - Uh-huh.
坐下 我们谈谈
Sit down. Let's talk.
德维 性是件大事
Devi, sex is a big deal.
你和别人上♥床♥时 会展现出最脆弱的一面
When you sleep with someone, you're the most vulnerable you'll ever be.
如果你急着发生性关系 就可能会深深受伤
And if you rush into that, you could get really hurt.
下面受伤吗？
Like, down there?
不 德维 是情感上受伤
No, Devi, like, emotionally.
Ah.
我是吃过苦头才知道
I've learned the hard way
你不能按别人的时间表去行事 应该按自己的步伐走
that you shouldn't do anything on anyone's schedule but your own.
你是指普拉桑特吗？
Are you talking about Prashant?
是的
Yes.
我不打算跟他结婚 因为我还没准备好
I'm not going to marry him because I'm not ready.
你要是没做好准备 也不应该跟别人做♥爱♥
And you shouldn't have sex yet unless you're ready.
问题是 德维和大多数青少年一样
The problem was, Devi, like most teenagers,
不知道自己准备好了没有
had no idea what she was ready for.
她一清二楚的 只有她还没准备好被甩
All she knew was that she was certainly not ready to be dumped.
我说这话不是想伤害你
I'm not trying to be mean.
我只是想说 我从没见过有人吃这么多披萨
I'm just saying I've never seen anyone eat that much pizza.
让人感觉你不想跟我回家 在设法拖延时间
It's almost like you were trying to stall before you were coming home with me.
拖延时间？你疯了吗？
Stall? Are you crazy?
我为什么要延迟 即将到来的重要夜晚？
Why would I want to delay the momentous night we have ahead?
♪ Clementine ♪
♪ Trying to erase you ♪
♪ From my spotless mind ♪
♪ Hit fast-forward But I'm stuck in rewind ♪
♪ Trying to erase you ♪
♪ Clementine... ♪
我的耳朵呀！
- Ow. Ow, ow. My ear, my ear! Ow, ow. - Oh, oh, oh.
你没事吧？
You good?
没事
Yeah.
我非常好 不知道我为什么要戴夸张大耳环
Totally good. Don't know why I decided to wear statement earrings.
♪ Ferrari white tears You cut 'em up in the mirror ♪
♪ Now she's moving on But I'm still here... ♪
我准备好了
I'm ready.
♪ You're cutting me loose I'm kinda confused... ♪
我准备好了 放进去 然后速战速决吧
I'm ready. Just put it in and get it over with.
帕克斯顿？
Paxton?
嘿 怎么了？
Hey, wha... what's up?
你怎么停下了？
Why'd you stop?
我这么近
I'm so close.
德维 你的双手紧紧攥着小拳头
Devi, your hands were in tight little fists.
你压力很大 我好像听到你把牙都咬崩了
And you were so stressed out, I think I heard you crack a tooth.
Wha... Um...
我好像还没做好做♥爱♥的准备
I don't think I'm ready to have sex.
如果你想跟我分手 我也能理解
I understand if you want to break up with me.
我知道你不会跟不愿上♥床♥的女生约会 所以没关系
I know you don't date girls who don't put out, so it's cool.
不是这样的 我可以慢慢来
That's not true. I can go slow.
好吧 但慢慢来 对你来说意味着什么？
Okay, but what does going slow mean to you?
不停地互舔吗？我不想那么做
Like non-stop 69ing? 'Cause I don't want to do that.
什么？不是
What? No.
听着 我只想做让你觉得舒适的事情
Look, Devi, I only want to do what you're comfortable with.
好吧 如果让我觉得舒适的
Well, what if what I'm comfortable with
只是在看恐怖电影时抚摸身体？
is just going to second base during scary movies?
-我觉得没问题啊 -真的吗？
- Then I'm cool with that. - Really?
对
Yeah.
-你想看抖音视频吗？ -好啊
- You want to watch some TikToks? - Yeah.
所以我们决定慢慢来
So we decided to take it slow.
他甚至没看到我用鞋带做的丁字裤
He didn't even get to see the G-string I made out of my shoelace.
-太棒了 德维 -我替你感到高兴
- That's awesome, Devi. - Good for you.
虽然我们帮你印了一件 “被帕克斯顿上了”的上衣
I mean, we did silkscreen this "Plowed by Paxton" t-shirt for you,
但我把衣服送给 其他被他上过的女生就好了 我为你骄傲
but I guess I can give it to someone else who had sex with him. I'm proud of you.
杏桃护发素 这样就不会掉头屑了
Apricot conditioner, so no flaking.
特伦特那边有进展吗？
So, any updates on Trent?
不 我已经放弃他了 他在短♥信♥上跟我玩失踪
Ugh! No, I've given up on him. He ghosted me on text.
我应该是误读了信♥号♥♥
I guess I misread the signals.
关于越战新春攻势的突击测验 已经出成绩了 现在发给你们
Here are your graded pop quizzes on the Tet Offensive.
坦白说 你们准备得非常不充分 让我深受打击
And, frankly, what I find offensive is how ill-prepared so many of you were.
我想我得回到用教科书教学
I guess I'll have to go back to teaching with textbooks
不能再借助 罗伯特·泽米吉斯的电影了
instead of the films of Robert Zemeckis.
我才拿了100分？
I got a flat 100?
但我还多写了一页 论述林登·约翰逊总统没能缓解战争
But I wrote an extra page on LBJ's inability to de-escalate the war
还有小瓢虫·约翰逊 比起杰基·肯尼迪欠缺时尚品味
and Lady Bird Johnson's lack of fashion compared to Jackie O's.
我跟你说过了 没有额外的学分
I told you, Ben, no more extra credit.
82分？才他妈的82分？
An 82? A freaking 82?
嘿 我也拿到了82分！ 我们分数一样耶
Hey, I also got an 82! Ha! We're the same.
埃莉诺 击个掌吧！
Eleanor, up top!
我不知道怎么会这样 我从来没拿过低于A的分数
I don't know how this happened. I've never gotten below an A before.
在那一刻 法比奥拉知道自己该做什么了
In that moment, Fabiola knew what she had to do.
嘿 我觉得我们应该谈谈
Hey, I think we should talk.
好啊 你那边凌晨两点半行不？
Sure, would 2:30 a.m. your time work?
我拿到84分 你要加把劲啊 特伦特
Ooh, an 84. Suck on that, Trent.
埃莉诺！
Eleanor!
你怎么能冷落我 不跟我击掌呢？
How could you leave me hanging back there with my high five?
我的女孩竟然那样对我 让我深深受伤了
It cuts me deep that my girl would do that to me.
你说什么？你的女孩？
Um, I'm sorry. Your girl?
我们在交往吗？
Are we dating?
你一直都没有回复我的短♥信♥
Because you haven't texted me back in forever.
哦 那是因为我换了号♥码
Oh, that's because I changed my number.
我查到1-800-我他妈毫不在乎 这个号♥码可以用了
I found out that 1-800-0FS-GIVEN became available.
虽然我也不是很在乎这个号♥码
Not that I even give an f.
说清楚点儿 你有免付费电♥话♥号♥码了？
Okay, so just to clarify, you have a toll-free cell phone number?
-对 -你还喜欢我？
- Yeah. - And you like me?
想谈恋爱？
Romantically?
对
Yeah.
好吧 因为之前你没有表明意思
Okay, because that wasn't really clear before.
那现在就让我表明意思吧
Oh, well, let me be clear then.
♪ Don't wanna call But I'm thinkin' 'bout you ♪
♪ Can't help it if I do ♪
♪ Don't wanna call... ♪
-哇 -太赞了
- Wow. - Sick.
-嘿 -嗨
- Hey. - Hi.
一切都还好吗？
Well, how's everything going?
就是说那个…
The, you know...
一切都发展得挺顺利的
Things are really good.
很好 既然你发育比同龄人迟钝
Good. Since you're a late bloomer,
我想给你一点建议
I just wanted to offer my advice
毕竟我的恋爱和性经验都比你丰富
as someone with more romantic and sexual experience.
-你可真善良啊 -对啊 没问题
- Mmm. How kind of you. - Yeah, no problem.
很好 那待会见 大卫
Great, well, all right. I'll, uh, see you later, David.
Mmm.
喂！你们三个听着！
Hey! You three!
我想让你们知道 帕克斯顿和我决定要慢慢发展
I want to let you guys know that Paxton and I decided to take things slow
因为我们正处于 一段成熟、坚定、互相尊重的关系
because we are in a mature, committed, respectful relationship
你们三个永远都不会理解的
that the three of you would never understand.
什么？我们戴了耳塞 没听到你说什么
What? We didn't hear you because we had in our earbuds.
我只是说帕克斯顿和我 决定慢慢发展 我们处得挺好的
I was just saying that Paxton and I are taking things slow, and we're good.
好的
Okay.
你们之前说了很刻薄的话 来评价我们 所以…
It's just that you said some pretty mean stuff about us before, so...
不会吧？听起来不像我们说的
- I don't think so. Doesn't sound like us. - Mm-mm.
你们绝对说了
No, you definitely did.
她说了我们并不刻薄
She said we're not mean.
你给我们贴上了刻薄的标签 就说明你欺人太甚
And you labeling us that makes you a bully.
学校里最漂亮的女生 总是会受人欺负
The prettiest girls at school are always the ones people bully.
Mm-hmm.
那一刻德维学到了宝贵的一课
Right then Devi learned a valuable lesson.
这些女孩根本不把她放在眼里
She was nothing to these girls.
也许她也不该把她们说的话放心上
So maybe what they said should mean nothing to her.
谢谢 我从这场谈话中领悟颇深
Thank you. I got a lot out of this conversation.
-聊得很开心 -再见
- Great chat. - Bye.
-挺棒的 再见 -再见
- Great stuff. Bye. - Bye.
德维 你昨晚过得如何？ 发生了什么有趣的事吗？
So, Devi, how was your evening last night? Was it eventful?