好想做一次（2020）

the Vietnam War.
这个故事讲述的是 一个异常草率的决定
This is a story about an incredibly rash decision
带来了毁灭性的影响
that ended in devastating consequences.
我们会屈服于别人施加的压力
We bowed down to pressure from others,
并不是因为这是正确的事情
not because it was the right thing to do,
而是因为我们珍贵的自尊心
but because of our own precious egos.
但是我们很快就意识到 自己陷入了僵局
However, soon we realized we were in over our heads,
我们的行动带来的只有尴尬和屈辱
and our actions left us with nothing but embarrassment and shame.
当我们退出时 已经不再清白了
And by the time we pulled out, our innocence was lost.
血流成河
Blood was everywhere.
没错 德维 值得大家倒吸一口冷气
That's right, Devi. It is gasp-worthy.
你们的作业
Your homework assignment.
听《阿甘正传》的配乐
Listen to the Forrest Gump soundtrack.
至少听到詹妮吸上海♥洛♥因♥之前的 70年代中期
At least to the mid-'70s before Jenny gets into heroin.
嘿 夏皮罗老师 又是一堂非常鼓舞人心的课
Hey, Mr. Shapiro, another inspiring class.
我感觉自己在西贡陷落的现场
I actually felt like I was at the fall of Saigon.
谢谢 我的目标达成了
Thank you. That was my goal.
我给你发了邮件 要你给我额外的学分 你收到了吗？
Did you happen to get my email requesting additional extra credit?
我收到了 很不幸 我得拒绝你
I did. Uh, unfortunately, the answer is no.
什么？为什么？
What? Why?
你已经在我的课上拿到了A+++
To be honest, you've already got an A-triple-plus in my class.
我需要得到校董会的许可 才能给你更高分
If I go any higher, I'll need permission from the school board.
夏皮罗老师 对于一所一般的学校 A+++可能算是高分 比如…
Mr. Shapiro, I know that an A-triple-plus seems like a good grade for someone who went to...
莎拉劳伦斯学院
Sarah Lawrence.
当然了 但我想进入一所常春藤院校
Of course, but I am trying to get into an Ivy
这些学校的录取率非常低 所以我需要你给我一点帮助
with an incredibly small acceptance rate, so I need a little help here.
这次的对话侮辱了我
As insulting as this interaction has been,
我必须坚持最初的决定
I'm gonna have to stick with my original decision.
本 没有额外的学分
- No more extra credit, Ben. - Ugh.
莎拉劳伦斯的录取率是53％ 竞争也挺激烈的
And Sarah Lawrence has a 53% acceptance rate. It's pretty competitive.
该死 那太疯狂了
Damn, that was crazy.
就是啊 夏皮罗老师应该求着我 给我额外学分的功课打分
I know. Mr. Shapiro should be begging to grade my extra credit assignments.
我的散文非常抒情
My prose is freaking lyrical.
不 我说的是你 你才疯了
No, I meant you. You were the crazy one.
我？
Me?
要想考上好大学 你必须激进地争取分数
You have to be intense about grades if you want to go to a good college.
你难道没有想过要上哪所大学吗？
Okay, wait. Have you not thought about where you want to go to college?
没想过 我去表亲们上的 加州州立大学北岭分校就好了
Not really. I figured I'd just go to Cal State Northridge where my cousins go.
哇 我想上哥伦比亚大学 就像巴拉克·奥巴马 和杰克·吉伦哈尔一样
Wow. Well, I want to go to Columbia like Barack Obama and Jake Gyllenhaal.
我们是在同一座犹太教堂 举♥行♥受戒礼的
We had our Bar Mitzvahs at the same temple.
是杰克和我 不是奥巴马总统
Jake and me, not President Obama.
听起来不错 也许我也可以申请那所大学
Ah. Sounds cool. Maybe I'll apply there too.
什么？
What?
-卡玛拉？ -嗨 我带来了腰果脆糖
- Kamala? - Hi. I brought cashew brittle.
很好吃 而且这种算是贵的
It's delicious, and it's on the pricier end of their offerings.
我对坚果过敏 严重时会致命
I have a deadly nut allergy.
你在我的家人面前羞辱我 现在还想谋杀我吗？
Was your purpose to kill me after humiliating me in front of my family?
普拉桑特 等等
Prashant, wait.
真的很抱歉
I am so sorry.
我只是慌了
I just panicked.
我的奶奶和阿姨 都让我相信你打算向我求婚
My grandmother and my aunt convinced me that you were going to propose.
我本来是想求婚的
I was going to propose.
-是吗？ -对
- You were? - Yeah.
你以为我带我父母来干什么？ 去环球影城玩吗？
Why do you think I brought my parents here? To see Universal Studios?
奥兰多那家更好 他们已经去过了
They've been to the better one in Orlando.
你来干什么 卡玛拉？
- Oh. - Why are you here, Kamala?
为了把你的心赢回来？
To win you back?
我不觉得你真心想要我回来
I don't think you actually want me back.
我当然想了 你条件那么优越
Sure, I do. You're such a great catch.
我知道我条件好
I know I am.
但我向你求婚却把你吓跑了
But, apparently, the thought of me proposing to you made you flee.
我做好了结婚的准备
I'm ready for marriage.
我想要走下一步 拥有一个家庭
I want to take that next step and to have a family.
我以为你也是这么想的
And I thought you did too.
理论上我是这么想的 但我还是害怕
I do theoretically, but I still have my fears.
老实说 我不喜欢你对我的工作 所提出的建议
Honestly, I didn't love the advice you gave me about my work.
我担心你不会在职业上支持我
And I worry that that means you won't support me professionally.
有时当我想象我们的婚礼 就会感到生理上的不适
And sometimes, when I picture our wedding, I feel physically ill.
但那不代表我想失去 我们所拥有的感情
But that doesn't mean that I want to lose what we have.
根据你跟我说的话 我觉得我们之间没有任何感情
From what you just told me, I don't think we have anything.
不 不是那样的
No, that's not true.
我是说我们在性的方面很来电
I mean, we have terrific sexual chemistry.
我同意
I would agree with that.
好吧 也许我不一定想跟你结婚
Okay, look, maybe it's true that I don't necessarily want to marry you,
但可能是因为我不想跟任何人结婚
but it might just be that I don't want to marry anyone.
那我们最好现在弄清楚
Well, then it's probably better that we know that now.
再见 卡玛拉
Goodbye, Kamala.
我今晚要破处了 真是难以置信
I can't believe I'm gonna lose my virginity tonight.
好的 我们假定你已经处理了PTA事宜
Okay, and we assume you've already called the PTA meeting.
PTA事宜是什么？
PTA meeting? What's that?
腋窝、乳♥房♥♥和屁♥股♥
Pits, tits, and ass.
你得保持那些部位的清新
You gotta keep it fresh in there.
天啊 我可不想知道那个缩略语
God, I hate knowing that acronym.
是的 我的PTA干干净净
Yes, my PTA are squeaky clean.
以前叫烧烤外卖♥♥剩下的酒精湿巾 都被我用来清洁这些地方了
I wiped them down with old alcohol wipes from when I got barbecue take out.
痛得要死 但谢谢你们帮我做好准备
It hurt like a bitch, but thanks for helping me get ready, guys.
这真的意义…
It really means a...
法比！搞什么鬼啊！
Fab! What the hell?
恭喜你要做♥爱♥了 我们为你感到骄傲
Congratulations on doing sex. We are so proud of you.
姐们 你不能一直谈异地恋 这样不健康
Dude, you can't keep doing this long-distance thing. It's not healthy.
我可以啊
Yes, I can.
我爱伊芙 我需要60个月的时间来攒够机票钱
I love Eve, and it'll be so worth it when I can visit her in 60 months
等我飞过去看她时 一切就值得了
after I've saved up my allowance for airfare.
我说不准 那很奇怪
Mm-hmm. I don't know, guys. It's weird.
我对帕克斯顿显然感到非常饥渴 但短短两周 就要从接吻进展到性♥交♥了？
I'm obviously mega horny for Paxton, but kissing to intercourse in two weeks?
是不是有点操之过急了？
Isn't that kind of fast?
那你就别跟他上♥床♥啊 我不会跟本上♥床♥的
So don't have sex with him. I'm not having sex with Ben.
有意思了
Oh, that's interesting.
觉得有意思的不是我本人 而是这几个女孩
Not to me personally, but for this group of girls.
德维 要是你还没准备好 那你就不必跟他上♥床♥
Devi, you don't have to do it if you aren't ready.
但希拉、佐伊和卡丽说
But Shira, Zoe, and Carley said
帕克斯顿不会留恋不跟他上♥床♥的女孩
that Paxton won't stay with a girl who doesn't have sex with him.
别听她们的 她们什么都不知道
Don't listen to them. They don't know anything.
谢谢 法比
Thanks, Fab.
即使她们对了 最坏又能怎样？
Even if they're right, what's the worst that can happen?
帕克斯顿把你甩了 你的人气再次被冲下马桶？
Paxton dumps you, and your popularity plummets into the toilet again.
那又怎么样？ 难道诚实对待自己不是更重要的吗？
So what? Isn't your integrity more important?
而且很多无性生活的人 都过着很充实的人生
Also, many sexless people have very fulfilling lives.
他们只是把多余的能量 引导到其他追求上
They just channel their extra energy into other pursuits.
比如说你可以养蜜蜂
Like, you could raise bees.
养蜜蜂？
Raise bees?
说实话 朋友们 这个建议太糟糕了
Gonna be honest, guys, this advice low-key sucks.
抱歉 我不知道我为什么这么激动
Sorry. I don't know why I'm freaking out.
我一直都想和帕克斯顿做♥爱♥
I've wanted to have sex with Paxton forever,
而且这场失贞经历可能很奇妙 会让我诗兴大发之类的
and it's probably gonna be some magical deflowering that I write a poem about or some shit.
我要这么做
I'm gonna do it.
太好了 女王！最重要的问题来了
Yes, queen! And now, the most important question.
你的内♥裤♥状况如何？
What is your panty situation?
平角内♥裤♥ 上面画着《南方公园》的人物
Mmm. Boy shorts with South Park characters on it.
正前面是卡特曼的嘴
The fly is Cartman's mouth.
好的 我知道怎么解决这个问题
Right. I know how to fix this.
哦哟
Ooh la la.
你在干什么？
What are you doing?
Uh...
收拾你要洗的衣服
Your laundry.
我知道你在骗我 你都不知道洗衣机和干衣机在哪儿
I know that's a lie. You don't even know where the washer/dryer is.
我知道
Uh, yeah, I do.
是在厨房♥吧？
I want to say... kitchen?
好了 好吧
Okay. Fine.
我要借一条性感的内♥裤♥ 因为我要去约会
I needed to borrow some sexy underwear because I'm dating someone.
是帕克斯顿 我知道
Yes, Paxton. I know.