好想做一次（2020）

she was having the most romantic meal of her life.
她现在只需要躺平
All she had to do now was lean back
等待她那轮廓分明 对她宠爱有加的男友
and wait for her chiseled, doting boyfriend
把新鲜磨碎的芝士带回来
to bring her freshly grated cheese and...
（埃里克·珀金斯）
…在她面前撒下弥天大谎
lie to her frickin' face.
搞什么鬼啊？
What the hell?
再次为我最浪漫的情人节晚餐干杯
Cheers to my most romantic Valentine's Day dinner yet.
-眼神交流 -好
- Eye contact. - Mmm. Sure.
眼神交流 埃莉诺 跟我进行眼神交流
Eye contact. Eleanor, eye contact.
好啊
Yep.
好了 乔队长
So, Captain Joe.
我是你的忠实粉丝
You know, I'm a big fan.
我喜欢你用钩子手 砍价和斩窗帘的广♥告♥
I love the commercial where you slash prices and some blinds with your hook hand.
谢谢 但我不是故意 把窗帘撕成两半的
Thanks. Actually, I didn't mean to rip those blinds in half,
但我们忘记在其他镜头里录音了 所以…
but we forgot to roll sound on the other take, so...
表演水平真的很高
The performances are phenomenal.
演员是哪儿找的？
Where do you find the actors?
主要是在家庭聚餐上
Mmm... Mostly family dinners.
对了 埃莉诺就是演员
Oh, hey, you know, Eleanor is an actor.
演技非常出色
A really good one.
如果你想的话 你可以演一个经验丰富的海员姑娘
Well, if you want, you can play a salty sea wench.
在你的下一条广♥告♥里？
In your next commercial?
当然可以
Yeah, sure.
我的天
Oh my God.
我是在职演员了
I'm a working actor.
我是在职演员了 太谢谢你了
I'm a working actor. Thank you so much.
没错 我愿意帮助 所有让我侄子开心的人
Yeah, anything for someone who makes my nephew here so happy.
噢 连大♥麻♥都不能让我这么开心
Oh, not even weed makes me this happy.
情人节快乐 宝贝
Happy Valentine's Day, sweetheart.
德维 你好啊 你想和我一起吃点晚餐吗？
Oh, Devi. Hi. Hey, do you want to have a little bit of dinner with me?
你奶奶正在 和她小圈子里的闺蜜聚会呢
Your grandmother's having Galentine's with one of her cliques,
我好像看到你的表姐 偷偷钻进了你老师的小破本♥田♥车里
and believe I saw your cousin sneak into your teacher's crappy little Honda.
不用了 谢谢 我已经吃过了 我回房♥间好了
Uh, no, thanks. I already ate. I'm just gonna go up to my room.
明天有场大考
Uh, I have a big test tomorrow.
娜里妮原本想象她晚上
As Nalini envisioned her night
会跟没生命的玩偶看一部贺曼电影
watching a Hallmark movie with an inanimate object,
这时 她开始考虑
she started to entertain the possibility
自己可能需要扩展社交圈子
that she might need to broaden her social horizons.
嗨 莱雅 明天还有空吗？
Hi, Rhyah! Still free tomorrow?
我是娜里妮·维什瓦库马尔
This is Nalini Vishwakumar.
德维没对帕克斯顿提到卡片的事情
Devi hadn't mentioned the card to Paxton,
她晚餐的余下时间 都装出一副开心的样子
instead she had spent the rest of dinner pretending to be happy,
就像我在1980年的温布顿网球赛上 拿了亚军时 也装得很开心
like I did when I got runner-up at Wimbledon in 1980.
朋友 你装得不咋地啊
Not doing a great job there, bud.
哇 关于这帕玛森芝士
Wow, you really weren't lying
你真的没骗我耶
about the Parmesan.
-真的很好吃 -对吧？
- It's delicious. - I know, right?
对
Yeah. Uh-huh.
我知道在芝士这方面 我可以相信你
I sure can trust you when it comes to cheese.
但显然德维在极速下坠
But obviously Devi was spiraling.
帕克斯顿为什么要骗她？
Why did Paxton lie to her?
更重要的是
And, more importantly,
他的绝配是她心里想的那个人吗？
was his perfect match who she thought it was?
（舍曼奥克斯高中）
埃里克 我们需要聊聊配对测试 我知道我跟你配上了
Eric, we need to talk about the compatibility quiz. I know you got me.
小声一点 你是想毁了我的名声吗 白♥痴♥？
Shh! Keep it down. You trying to ruin my rep, dork?
说什么啊 呆瓜？
Excuse me, nerd?
过去两年 我一直试图 找一个火♥辣♥的对象
I've spent the last two years trying to date someone who's hot
让我的人气大增
and become popular,
这样我不只是一个失去爸爸的孩子…
so that I'm not just the kid who lost his dad...
该死 也许他们真的有很大共同点
Damn. Maybe they were alike.
…我在迪士尼乐园走丢了
...at Disneyland.
我不得不在保安台旁边等他
I had to wait for him near the security desk.
我的天
Oh my God.
这个孩子啊
Ugh. This kid.
我知道帕克斯顿让你跟他交换卡片 所以告诉我他跟谁配对上了
Well, I know Paxton made you trade cards with him. So tell me who he got.
-有趣 你觉得卡片值多少钱？ -把卡片给我就行了
- Hmm. Interesting. What's it worth to ya? - Just give me the card, Eric.
你是说这张卡片吗？
Oh, you mean this card?
你要付上巨款 我才能给你
Well, it is gonna cost you big time.
是海莉
Haley.
该死
Damn it.
没有 不！我没说过
No, I don't. No! I never said that.
-她在笑吗？那就是五块钱 -我没有笑
- Is she laughing? That's five bucks then. - I'm not laughing.
情人节的余下时间还顺利吗？ 你有没有分手…
How'd the rest of your Valentine's go? Did you break up with...
我的男朋友来了
Ah! My boyfriend.
那就是说没有
I'm gonna take that as a no.
我没跟他分手 相反 我利用他去接近他叔叔了
No, I didn't break up with him. Instead, I used him to get to his uncle.
你得详细说说
I'm gonna need you to elaborate on that.
他叔叔就是乔船长
His uncle's Captain Joe.
窗帘大叔？
The blinds guy?
没错 我还不择手段地 拿到了演他的广♥告♥的机会
Yep, and I weaseled my way into one of his commercials.
我的天 埃莉诺 你要拍广♥告♥了？
Oh my God, Eleanor, you're gonna be in a commercial?
是啊 但我觉得这样很恶心
Yeah, but I feel really gross about it.
你打算怎么办？
So what are you gonna do?
我想我得放弃特伦特和广♥告♥了
I think I have to let both Trent and the commercial go.
也许有一天我会遇到合适的人
Maybe one of these days I'll meet someone who's right for me,
恰巧也有个做广♥告♥的叔叔
whose uncle also makes commercials.
埃里克给我看了帕克斯顿的卡片 竟然是该死的海莉
And so Eric shows me Paxton's card, and it's frigging Haley.
你是担心他们俩的关系不单纯吗？
Are you worried that something is going on between them?
我不知道
I don't know.
我觉得没有
I don't think so.
只是他有什么别的理由要骗我呢？
It's just... Why else would he lie?
帕克斯顿骗了你 这样的确不对
Well, it was wrong for Paxton to be dishonest.
但你为什么这么在乎这份测试？
But why do you care so much about this test?
就是…
It's just...
当我看到他跟海莉说话 我就会吃醋
when I see him talking to Haley, I feel really jealous.
他们看起来挺般配的
They look so good together.
要是说他们俩是情侣 不会有人感到吃惊
Like, no one would bat an eye if you said that they were a couple.
你觉得你和帕克斯顿在一起 出乎大家意料？
And you think you and Paxton are getting tons of eye bats?
我忍♥不住要担心 这对于他只是个奇怪的阶段
I can't help but worry that this is some weird phase for him
他跟一个古怪、聪明的女孩约会
where he dates a quirky, smart girl.
他随时都可能醒过来
And at any moment, he's gonna be like,
说：“知道我想念什么吗？”
"Yo, you know what I miss?"
有六块腹肌的模特正妹 长着对称的乳♥房♥♥”
"Superhot models with six-pack abs and, like, symmetrical boobs."
首先 姑娘 所有人的乳♥房♥♥都是不对称的
First of all, girl, nobody has symmetrical boobs.
每个人都有一个大胸和小胸
Everybody's got a Biggie and a Smalls.
其次 那么想就是低估了你们两个
And secondly, that way of thinking is selling you both short.
-看看这个女孩 -一定要看吗？
- Like, look at this girl. - Do I have to?
对 看她的限时动态
Yes. Look at her stories.
讽刺的是 她正在跳一支有范儿的舞
Here she is doing a cool dance, ironically.
这会儿她在做普拉提 可能阴♥道♥也不会排气
And here she is doing Pilates. Probably without even queefing.
这会儿她正玩漆弹呢
And here she is playing paintball.
等等 她在玩漆弹？ 医生 我得走了
Wait, she's playing paintball? Doc, I gotta go.
德维 别 我们一起来解决这个问题
Devi, don't. Let's work through this.
德维 别走啊…
Devi, don't go...
妈的
Shit.
阿萨伊碗 这是我第一次吃
Mmm, an açai bowl. I never had one of these before.
真的吗？
- Really? - Mm-mm.
阿萨伊碗很赞
Oh, açai bowls are great.
里面充满了抗氧成分和纤维 可以增强大脑功能
They're loaded with antioxidants, fiber. They boost brain function.
但实际上只是吃一大碗糖 假装对健康很有利
But really, they're just a way to eat tons of sugar and pretend it's healthy for you.
你听起来像我丈夫 他特别喜欢甜食
You sound like my husband. He had a huge sweet tooth.
有一次他吃了三个曲奇派
One time he had three Pizookies.
就是和派一样大的曲奇饼
That's a cookie the size of a pie.
害得他肚子很不舒服
Got very sick to the stomach.
但就算肚子疼得要死 他还是能让我大笑
But even in severe abdominal pain, he was still able to make me laugh.
我替你感到惋惜 娜里妮 没有他的日子一定很难过
I'm sorry, Nalini. Must be really difficult without him.
昨天比我预想中要难过
Yesterday was harder than I expected, you know.
我一直以为情人节 是个愚蠢的节日 但昨晚
I always thought Valentine's Day was stupid, but last night...
要是能让他带着从加油站 花五块钱买♥♥来的泰迪熊走进家门
...I would've given anything for him to walk through the door
我愿意付出一切