好想做一次（2020）

你们在接吻？你♥爸♥爸的骨灰都还没流进海里
Are you kissing? Your father's ashes have barely begun to drift out to sea.
给我下车
Get out of this car!
每次都是矮个子
It's always the short ones.
对不起 威舍库玛医师
I'm sorry, Dr. Vishwakumar,
请节哀顺变？
and, uh, my condolences?
-再见 -"再见"
-Bye. -"Bye."
笨蛋 再见个头
Kazhudai. "Bye. Bye."
迪薇 你真是太不要脸了
I mean, what disgraceful behavior, Devi!
等我出殡时你要怎么样？在我的坟墓上打炮吗？
What are you gonna do at my funeral? Just have sex on top of my grave?
希望到时别打开棺盖
I pray it's a closed casket.
对不起啦 妈
I'm sorry, Mom.
我必须平复自己的心情 因为我太爱爸了
I just got overcome with emotion because I love Dad so much!
-我可能看到谁就亲谁 -算了
-I would've kissed anyone. -Okay, fine.
我要把这件事忘掉
I'm just gonna let it slide.
我难过时也会有疯狂的举动
I've done crazy things when I'm emotional too.
我在电器行抱过一个人
I once hugged a man at Circuit City
因为有台故障的打印机打二折
when I found out a damaged printer was 80% off.
所以我们的打印机烂成这样？
Is that why our printer's so bad?
派克斯顿霍尔吉田 ‎留言和未接来电
我人刚好在你家附近
Hey, I'm in your neighborhood.
想说要不要出来 但你好像很忙
Thought maybe we can hang out, but, uh, it seems like you're busy.
所以 呃
So, uh…
反正你可以打电♥话♥或传短♥信♥给我
Anyway, you can give me a call or text
随便啦 好
or whatever. Okay.
我靠
Holy shit.
这个"我靠"讲得没错 迪薇
Holy shit is right, Devi.
他们在男方车上热情激吻后
Ever since their steamy kiss in his car,
男方就不理她了
he'd been icing her out.
我以前是青少年运动员 这种行为看太多了
As a former teen jock myself, I was not surprised by this behavior.
我给迪薇的忠告是
My advice to Devi,
别因为这则语♥音♥留言而开心太早
don't let this voicemail get your hopes up.
直接放弃派克斯顿吧
Just give up on Paxton.
把目标放在容易到手的对象
Set your sights on someone more attainable,
就像你刚才还在热吻的小班
like that kid Ben you were just mouth kissing,
或是数学课那个对阳光过敏的小子
or that boy in math class who's allergic to the sun.
我马上进去
Be right in.
天啊
Oh my God!
别管那个过敏小鬼了
Screw the allergy kid.
派克斯顿来了耶
That's Paxton!
嘿 你在等我吗？
Hey, were you waiting for me?
没有 我只是出来逛逛
No. I was, uh, just chilling.
逛到我家这里？
Outside of my house?
等等 你发那个留言后就来了？
Wait. Have you been here since you left that message?
没有 对啦 我在等你
No. Well, yeah, I was waiting
反正我也没别的事好干
because I had nothing better to do.
后来我饿了 所以叫了中华料理
And then I got hungry, so I ordered some Chinese food,
不过我真的快要离开了
but I mean, I… I honestly, was just about to leave.
派克斯顿霍尔吉田这辈子 还没讲过这么多话
This is the longest Paxton Hall-Yoshida has ever spoken.
等一下 难道他紧张了？
Wait! Is he nervous?
所以 你今天怎么样？
So, like, what's up?
今天很特别
Uh, it was kind of a special day.
我们到马里布海滩撒我爸的骨灰
We spread my dad's ashes in Malibu.
哇靠
No shit.
好猛
That's intense.
所以 你有什么话要跟我说 还是
So, did you have something you were gonna tell me or…
对 我只是想说
Yeah, I guess I just wanted to say
我以前对你那么坏 真的很抱歉
I feel really bad for being such a dick to you.
对 你真的坏透了
Yeah, you really were.
我很少亲男生的 派克斯顿
I don't kiss guys that often, Paxton.
我还以为自己做错事了
I thought maybe I did something wrong.
也许我流太多口水到你嘴巴里
Like, maybe I flooded your mouth with saliva.
没有 那个吻没问题
No, no. The kiss was fine.
感觉很棒
It was good.
我只是在耍笨
I was just being dumb,
还有 对不起
and… I'm sorry.
这样算一流的道歉吗？没有
Was it the greatest apology? No.
他几乎都在看鞋子 词汇也很贫乏
He mostly looked at his shoes, and the vocabulary was limited,
但他的嘴形实在太美了
but when it comes out of that beautiful mouth,
听起来就像唐诗宋词
it's friggin' Shakespeare.
你明天晚上想不想来我家吃晚餐？
So would you maybe want to, like, come over for dinner tomorrow night?
晚餐？到你家？就我们俩？
Dinner? At your house? Y-You and me?
一起吃饭？在同一张餐桌上？
Eating together? At the same table?
对 不然你平常怎么跟别人吃晚餐？
Yeah. How do you normally eat dinner with people?
好 那我们明天见 威舍库玛
All right. Well, I'll see you tomorrow, Vishwakumar.
哇 迪薇是不是跟小班在海边舌吻后
Whoa! Did Devi just French Ben at the beach
还获得派克斯顿的邀约？
and get asked on a date by Paxton?
太阳从西边出来了吗？
Did hell freeze over in the last hour?
这个官方认证没人想搞的书呆子
How is it possible that this formally uneffable nerd
怎么可能让两个男生倾心？
has two boys that are into her?
好想做一次
第二季 第一集
迪薇躺在床上 想着这两个伟大的浪漫举动
Devi lay in her bed pondering these two grand romantic gestures.
小班甘愿犯法 偷他爸爸的车
Ben had broken the law, stolen his Dad's car,
冒生命危险 只为了帮她跟爸爸道别
and risked his life to help her say goodbye to her dad,
可是派克斯顿在她的语♥音♥信箱留言
but Paxton had left her a voicemail.
语♥音♥留言耶
A voicemail!
这家伙平常都懒到只写短♥信♥说"可"的
We're talking about a boy who usually texts the letter "K."
由于Z世代很少打电♥话♥给别人
And since Zoomers rarely call anyone on the phone,
所以她查派克斯顿的语♥音♥留言时 找到另一个
checking Paxton's voicemail led her to find another one
自己早就忘记的留言
she had forgotten about.
爸爸
喂 是爸爸 我在购物中心要接你
Hi, it's Dad. I'm… I'm here at the mall to pick you up.
我把车子停在中餐厅前面
I'm parked in front of P.F. Chang's,
可是有个警卫很凶 逼我一直绕圈圈
but a brute security guard is making me circle around.
等等 我看到你了 我最完美的女儿
Uh, oh, wait, I see you. Ah! There's my perfect girl.
老乔超♥市♥的意大利面酱老是掉出来
Ugh! This Trader Joe's puttanesca keeps falling out.
你带这么多零食回印度 绝对会成为整个家族的英雄
Wow. You're taking so many snacks to India. You'll be the hero of the family.
哇 印度人超爱老乔超♥市♥的
Damn. Indian people love Trader Joe's.
对 要是能用泰式青柠辣椒腰果 贿赂一个叔叔伯伯
They do. If I can bribe an uncle with a box of Thai Lime & Chili cashews,
也许能用好价格买♥♥间公♥寓♥给我们住
maybe we can get a good deal on a condo for the two of us.
卡梅拉 过来 帮我个忙
Kamala, inga vaadi. Just need some help.
娜莉妮还在准备月底搬到印度的事
Nalini was still set on moving to India at the end of the month,
但是她必须先到那边张罗事情
but first, she needed to go there to set things up
讨好自己的家人
and kiss up to her family.
烂毙了
This sucks a butt.
我们竟然要搬去什么鬼印度
I can't believe we're moving to stupid India.
我这边的生活才刚刚上轨道
Things were just getting good for me here.
因为你可以在豪华休旅车里亲男生？
Oh, because now you kiss boys in overpriced SUVs?
对 以后就没这种好事了
Yeah, there'll be no more of that.
对 因为我只有这个家
Yeah, because you're dragging me away
现在你却要把我带走
from the only home I've ever known.
迪薇 你听好
Listen, Devi,
我知道你不喜欢 但我需要家人帮忙
I know this is not what you want, but I just need more family around us.
所以可以请你试试看吗？
So can you please just give this a chance?
虽然迪薇对搬家的事耿耿于怀
And while Devi wasn't thrilled about the move,
但她有好一阵子没跟妈妈这么亲近
she felt close to her mom for the first time in a while
所以不想破坏这个气氛
and didn't want to mess that up.
没关系
It doesn't matter.
我两年后就回来念普林斯顿
I'll be back here in two years, going to Princeton,
交个搞乐团的男友
dating a guy in a band.
学蕾哈娜把男友的名字纹到胸部下面
I'll get a tattoo of his name under my boobs like Rihanna.
杀了我再说
Over my dead body.
我今天会过得很有意思
So, I have a very exciting day today.
我要找同一栋的另一个皮肤科医师
I'm gonna meet with this other dermatologist in my building.
想办法用超浮夸的价格
I'm gonna try and sell him my patient roster
把我的病患名单卖♥♥给他
for a vastly inflated price.
哇 杰克森医生？
Whoa. Dr. Jackson?
他抽取小班妈妈的双下巴脂肪
He took the fat out of Ben's mom's double chin
然后注射到她的屁♥股♥
and stuck it in her butt.
现在超翘的
It looks amazing.
而且他开迈巴♥赫♥名车
And he drives a Maybach.
别人开的感觉就是炫耀
It would be ostentatious on anyone else,