好想做一次（2020）

I know, but even that jawline doesn't make me ready for marriage.
我也没准备好
I'm not ready, either.
我有两个室友 我们共用一件西装
I got two roommates, and we share one suit.
猜猜今晚穿在谁身上了？ 就是你的男孩！
And guess who got it tonight? Your boy!
这里笑得很开心啊 还有开放式肢体语言呢
A lot of laughter and open body language over here.
你是建筑师、麻醉师还是宇航员？
Are you the architect, the anesthesiologist, or the astronaut?
都不是 我是英文老师
None of the above. Um, I teach English.
大学老师吗？是不是斯坦福？
At a university? Uh, Stanford, perhaps?
不是 在德维的高中
No, at Devi's high school.
那个破地方啊？你是谁的孙子？
That rat hole? Whose grandson are you?
我不认识我的爷爷奶奶
I don't really know my grandparents.
他们在印度 我从来没去看过他们
They are back in India, and I've never visited.
外婆 这位是曼尼什 他是德维最喜欢的老师
Pati, this is Manish. He's Devi's favorite teacher.
你是在哪里长大的？ 你父母是做什么的？
Where did you grow up? What do your parents do?
我在阿肯色州中部长大 直到我父母离婚
Well, I grew up in central Arkansas until my parents got divorced. Ruh-roh.
然后我妈妈搬到默特尔比奇 开了一家夜♥总♥会♥
And then my mom moved to Myrtle Beach to run a nightclub.
然后我爸爸在巴吞鲁日 找了一个白人女人再婚
And then my dad remarried a white woman in Baton Rouge,
现在他们在易集网上开了家店 卖♥♥感恩而死乐队的运动衫
and now they run an Etsy store selling Grateful Dead sweatshirts.
卡玛拉 去拿水管！
Kamala, get the hose!
外婆 别说了 他听得懂
Pati, stop it. He'll understand you.
随你们想说什么都行
Feel free to say whatever you want.
我一门印度语言都不会说
I don't speak any Indian languages.
Oh.
奶奶？
- Oh. - Pati?
-我的天 -天啊 她心脏病发作了
- Oh my God. - Oh my God! She's having a heart attack.
等等 别 娜里妮
Wait, no, Nalini.
可能不是心脏病 有一家我很熟悉的果汁店
It might not be. I know this juice shop very well.
店里有款活力芒果汁 里面放了玛卡果
She had the mango namaslay, and that has maca in it.
谢谢你 但我是医生 这里交给我处理吧
Thank you, Rhyah, but I'm a doctor. So I will take it from here.
我们要叫救护车
We're calling an ambulance.
玛卡果是一种兴♥奋♥剂♥ 让我试一个办法
Maca's a stimulant. Let me just try one thing.
如果不管用 那我们可以在30秒内送她去医院
If it doesn't work, we can take her to the hospital in 30 seconds.
张嘴
Open your mouth.
很好
- Ah. - Good.
Oh.
-我感觉好多了 -你感觉好点了吗？
- I feel better. - You feel better?
你的脉搏好多了
Your pulse is better.
你刚刚做了什么？
What did you just do?
做了针压法 然后我随便调了点镇静药
Just a little acupressure and a calming elixir that I whipped up.
谢谢 真心的
Thank you. Truly.
好了 我觉得这是个很好的时机
Okay! I think this is a great time
让今天的活动告一段落 大家该说晚安了
to just wrap this all up and say good night.
嘿
Hey, um,
刚刚这场约会对我来说很奇怪 但你想再约一次吗？
that was a really weird date for me, but would you want to do it again
但不能邀请这么多人
but without the crowd?
我想
I would.
我明白 亲爱的 但我们得谈谈这件事
I understand, sweetie, but we have to talk about this.
你们因为我说真话而生气？
You're mad at me for speaking my truth?
我们生气是因为 你告诉时尚课里的女同学
We're mad because you told a girl in your fashion program
她的设计很丑
that her designs were ugly.
她一直在缝反褶皱 直到缝成了紫红色的织物
She stitched reverse pleats into a burgundy knit.
真的太恶心了
It was disgusting.
但是这不意味着你有权利数落别人
But that doesn't give you the right to make someone feel bad.
但她是最烂的
But she's the worst.
她昨天叫我狗屎 狗屎耶！
She called me a turd yesterday. A turd!
等等 谁说你是狗屎？我去杀了她
Whoa. Who called you a turd? I'll kill her.
谁也不许杀人 除非是出于善意
No one's killing anyone. Unless it's with kindness.
丽贝卡 宝贝 我不是说这个女孩很完美
Rebecca, sweetheart, I'm not saying this girl's perfect,
你现在是个小女人了
but you're a young woman now.
这个时候 你该决定自己想成为哪种人
This is the time you decide what kind of person you wanna be,
你不会想成为 不为自己的错误负责的人
and you don't wanna be someone that doesn't own up to her mistakes.
好吧 我会道歉的
Fine. I'll say I'm sorry,
但那些褶皱是更大的错误
but the bigger mistake here is still those pleats.
-嗨 -嘿
- Hi. - Hey.
听着 我会向海莉道歉的
So, I'll apologize to Haley.
-你会吗？ -对 我不应该这么对她
- You will? - Yeah, I shouldn't have done that to her.
我很不成熟 也没准备好谈认真的感情
I was immature and wasn't ready for anything serious,
我当时很懦弱
but I was a coward about it.
所以我跟她玩失踪
So I ghosted her.
我答应你 我一定会改正错误的
I promise I'll make it right.
谢谢
Thank you.
所以
So,
我觉得舞会很成功
I think the mixer was a success,
除了我们以为你要死了的插曲 别的都很好
except for the part we thought you were dying.
德维的老师约我出去
Devi's teacher asked me on a date.
不行 不能选他
No, not him.
什么？ 曼尼什有什么不好？
What? What's wrong with Manish?
他有工作 长得很帅 是印度人
He's employed. He's handsome. He's Indian.
他长了印度人的面孔
He looks Indian,
但有着塞斯罗根的灵魂 却没有他的魅力
but he has the soul of Seth Rogen and none of the charm.
他体贴又善良
He's thoughtful and kind.
但他完全没有对我行摸脚礼的意思
And yet he made no effort to touch my feet.
那个碰过太空的宇航员 还碰了我的脚三次呢
The astronaut touched them three times, and he has touched space.
曼尼什是美国人
Manish is American.
他没有被教育成一个非常传统的人 但我们也不应该因此小看他
I don't think we should dismiss him just because he wasn't raised to be so traditional.
太好了
Oh, great.
他的家人心甘情愿地 摒弃一个流传了上千代人的文化
I'm glad his family was happy to throw away a culture
真是让我喜闻乐见呢
passed down for a thousand generations.
什么？
What?
你可以做到的
You can do this.
好
Okay.
海莉 能跟你谈谈吗？
Haley, could I talk to you?
你想怎么样？
What do you want?
我要为对你做的事情表示深深的歉意
I'm just really, really sorry for what I did to you.
我没有任何借口
I don't have an excuse.
我是个蠢货 不该那样对你
I... I was a dumbass, and I shouldn't have done that to you.
-如果你不原谅我 我也明白… -等等 你是在向海莉道歉吗？
- If you don't forgive me, I understand... - Wait, are you apologizing to Haley?
你也对我很渣 不是吗？
Because you know you dicked me over too, right?
我们在返校节上亲热了 之后你就再也不跟我说话了
We made out at homecoming, and then you never talked to me again.
噢 是啊
Oh, yeah.
我很抱歉 梅根
I-I'm sorry about that, Meghan.
我那么做也太不是东西了
Th-Th-That was also shitty of me.
在天文馆的手活 你有印象吗？
Handy at the planetarium. Ring any bells?
哇 嘿
Wow. Hey.
哇 抱歉
Wow. Sorry.
哇 大家都来了 好
Wow. Everyone's here. Okay.
你们好啊
Hi.
比赛还剩下三分钟 双方踢成平手 二比二！
With three minutes left on the clock, the score is tied. 2-2!
真棒！那招真不错
Oh yeah! That's good move right there.
没错！
There we go!
-没关系！ -没关系 蟋蟀！加油！
- That's all right! - It's all right, Crickets! Go!
-好样的 安妮莎！ -这场比赛真是激动人心！
- Yeah, Aneesa! - What an exhilarating game!
口哨独家爆料！
A Whistlesclusive!
这会儿 帕克斯顿·霍尔-吉田 正向所有曾被他辜负的女生道歉
Paxton Hall-Yoshida is currently apologizing to every girl he's ever wronged.
继诺布尔教练 在赛前动员大会呕出肉桂威士忌后
It's the biggest thing to hit Sherman Oaks High
这是舍曼奥克斯高中 发生的最轰动的事件
since Coach Noble barfed up Fireball at the pep rally.
天啊 大卫 这是你干的吗？
Holy shit, David. Did you do this?
来了！
Here we go!
没错 大声笑 我现在算是女权主义代表人物了吧？
Yup, LOL. I guess I'm a feminist icon now?
加油 安妮莎！
Go, Aneesa!
好的 你冷静点 亚历山大·科尔特斯
Okay, slow your roll, AOC.
舍曼奥克斯高中以三比二获胜！
Sherman Oaks wins 3-2!
观众席上所有人都在为安妮莎欢呼 只有一个人除外
All but one person in the stands was cheering for Aneesa,
至于他在跟谁发信息 她心里有数
and she had a pretty good idea who he was texting with.
你也是对的
You are also right.
对不起 是我不好
I-I'm sorry. That's my bad.
虽然我们一直处得挺融洽的
Although, we've always had a nice vibe,
但我厌倦了 在女洗手间的厕所间里擦除你的名字
I'm getting tired of scrubbing your name off the stalls in the girls' bathroom.
我很抱歉 清洁工史黛西
I'm sorry about that, Janitor Stacey.
谢谢你 帕克斯顿
Thanks, Paxton.
你的道歉意义重大
That means a lot.
好 应该没有更多人了