好想做一次（2020）

你自己也说了 对方不过是个喷子
No, you said it yourself. It's just a troll.
也许我错了
Well, maybe I was wrong.
无所谓了 因为我已经答应帕克斯顿 不会跟对方联♥系♥了
It doesn't matter because I already told Paxton I won't engage with them.
帕克斯顿当然不想你跟那个人联♥系♥了
Of course, Paxton doesn't want you to talk to the DMer.
我是说 杰弗里·达默 也不想让警♥察♥翻他的冰箱
I mean, Jeffrey Dahmer didn't want the police to look in his refrigerator either.
他在冰箱里藏了什么？
What was in his refrigerator?
他情人的人头
His lover's head.
我能想象帕克斯顿把人头藏在冰箱里
I can see Paxton having a fridge head.
怎么了？很多连环杀手也很帅
What? A lot of serial killers are good-looking.
够了！
Enough!
帕克斯顿没有在冰箱里藏♥人♥头 我也不在乎那个喷子！
Paxton does not have a fridge head, and I don't care about the troll!
什么喷子？
Mmm... What troll?
德维遇到了喷子 对方说帕克斯顿言行不一
Devi has a troll that says Paxton isn't who he says he is
对方以前也处于德维的位置
and that they used to be Devi.
来 你看看
Here, take a look.
你怎么登入了我的Instagram？
How are you signed into my Instagram?
你说你所有账号♥的密♥码♥ 都是“Paxton69！”
You told us that your password to everything is Paxton69!,
所以每当你忘记给我点赞 我就会登进去
so I sign in when you forget to like my post.
埃莉诺！
- Eleanor! - Mmm.
你怎么能忍♥住 不查出这个人的身份呢？你天生就很好奇
How could you resist figuring out who this is? You're naturally curious.
是啊 但我答应了帕克斯顿
I know, but I promised Paxton.
但我什么都没答应他 我们得找这个发私信的人聊聊
Oh. I didn't promise him anything. We need to send the DMer another message.
不行！你为什么要插手？
No! And why are you a part of this now?
我们要破解谜团吗？ 我去给大家买♥♥点零食
Ooh, we're gonna solve a mystery? I'm gonna get us snacks.
Mmm.
好吧 那我们要回复什么？
Okay, so what should we type back?
“胆小鬼 现出真身吧”怎么样？
Oh, how about, "Reveal yourself, coward."
好 如果我们要做 就得按我的方式来
All right. If we're gonna do this, we're doing this my way.
试试这样吧
Let's try,
“至少告诉我 你怎么和我一样了？”
"At least tell me how you were like me?"
很好啊 大卫
Ooh, that's good, David.
对方回复了
Oh. They're replying back.
对方说：“我们都是好女孩 跟帕克斯顿交往 是因为我们想当然地认为他很完美“
They say, "We're both good girls who got involved with Paxton because we assumed he was perfect."
“我也是从小学开始就爱上他了”
"I had loved him since grade school too."
破案了 她露出马脚了
Boom. She outed herself.
怎么说？
How?
能升上这里的两所中学的 只有四所小学
There are four elementary schools that feed into two middle schools
然后才能上这所高中
that feed into this high school.
帕克斯顿去了东区小学
Paxton went to East Elementary.
所以我们现在只需要弄清楚 他上东区小学的时候
So all we have to do now is figure out who he's been romantically linked with
跟谁谈了恋爱
who also went to East with him.
谁会有这种情报？
Who has that kind of intel?
哦 埃里克 我们需要告密男孩夫人帮忙
Oh, Eric, we need Lady Whistleboy's help.
谁不需要呢？
Who doesn't?
但告密男孩夫人的身份是最大的迷…
But the identity of Lady Whistleboy is one of the greatest mys...
少废话 大家都知道是你 坐下
Shut up. Everyone knows it's you. Sit down.
好吧
Fine!
-嘿！ -嗨 你们是在做什么课题吗？
- Hey! - Hi. Uh, are you guys working on a project?
不 我们只是想解开 德维私生活中的谜团 想加入吗？
Nah, we're just figuring out a mystery in Devi's personal life. You want to join?
不了 我要在练习之前拉伸一下
No, I need to stretch before practice.
对哦！你要确保踢球的腿灵活柔软
Right! You got to make sure your kicking leg's nice and limber.
我对运动一窍不通
Okay, I don't know anything about sports,
但我会在大赛开始前 上维♥基♥百♥科♥了解足球
but I will Wikipedia soccer before the big game.
谢谢你 法比
Thanks, Fab.
她总是翻我东西
She's always going through my stuff.
Mmm.
你明天要来吗？
Hey, wanna come over tomorrow?
我听了你的建议 在车♥库♥里放了小植物
I took your advice and I got a little plant for my garage.
我觉得还挺好看的
I think it looks nice.
该死 他真的很招人喜欢耶
Damn it. He's being really cute.
德维感到有点愧疚
Devi was feeling a little guilty
因为本说服她跟敌方示好
for letting Ben talk her into fraternizing with the enemy.
大饱眼福吧
Feast your eyes.
虽然利用告密男孩夫人 存有海量资料的可怕资料库
Although, using Lady Whistleboy's extensive and very creepy database,
他们成功将嫌疑人的范围 缩小到四个人
they had successfully narrowed down the suspects to four people,
啦啦队首席队长珍妮·史密斯
head cheerleader, Jenny Smith,
抖音发型网红泰勒·余
TikTok hair influencer, Taylor Yu,
管弦乐团最辣的成员海莉·加西亚
hottest person in orchestra, Haley Garcia,
当然还有佐伊·美泰格 不需要介绍了
and of course, Zoe Maytag, no introduction needed.
她感觉左右为难 她不想对帕克斯顿不忠 但该死
She felt torn. She didn't wanna be disloyal to Paxton,
神秘女孩变得有趣死了
but damn, mystery girl was getting interesting as hell.
-餐桌上不许用手♥机♥！ -不要！
- No phones at the table! - No!
给你 卡玛拉
Here you go, Kamala.
你在跟我说话？你看得到我了吗？
You're speaking to me? You see me?
我经过了一番深思熟虑 想出了原谅你的办法
I have given it a lot of thought, and I found a way to forgive you.
我明天晚上要办一场舞会
I'm throwing a mixer tomorrow night,
让你找到新的未婚夫
so that you can get a new fiancé.
什么？
What?
听着
Listen,
我是现代女性
I'm a modern woman.
你的皮带上别了个随身听
You have a Walkman clipped to your belt right now.
没错！一直插着电
Exactly! Always plugged in.
我在某种程度上也能理解你 卡玛拉
So I understand on some level, Kamala,
你需要找到一段快乐的婚姻关系
you need to be happy in your marital relationship.
但如果我们能很快地 给你找到新的未婚夫 正好你也爱他
But if we can get you a new fiancé really fast,
那老家就不会有人注意到 你换了个男人
whom you love, then no one back home will even notice it's a different guy.
这计划真是太绝了 妈妈
That's quite a plan, Mami.
就是啊！
I know!
只要我那些牛逼的教友 有条件好的孙子 我都邀请来了！
I've invited all the eligible grandsons from my cool temple clique!
门口会放上索引卡 写上暧昧的破冰游戏
And there will be index cards with flirty icebreakers at the door.
我收到了情报 不是佐伊
So, I've got intel. It's not Zoe.
她不发私信
She doesn't DM.
她总是在评论区喷人
She always leaves her insults in the comments section.
-也就是说 那意味着… -喂
- So that means that... - Hey.
这台自动贩卖♥♥机多给了我一包趣多多 然后我想到了你
The vending machine gave me an extra Chips Ahoy, and I thought of you.
Oh.
我先走了
Gotta run.
好险！差一点就被抓个正着 反正不是佐伊
Phew! That was so close. Anyway, Zoe's a no.
埃莉诺 算了吧
Eleanor, forget it.
帕克斯顿刚给了我 免费的自动贩卖♥♥机的饼干
Paxton just gave me a free vending machine cookie.
我了解他 他是个好人
I know who he is, and he's a good person.
我不会再背着他做这种事了
I'm not gonna do this behind his back anymore.
你做的事很下流
What you're doing is shitty.
别再设法破坏我的感情了
Stop trying to ruin my relationship.
好吧 我想我得制♥作♥
All right. Well, I guess I'll have to manufacture
另一出戏剧来娱乐自己
some other drama to entertain myself.
噢 发私信的人回了
Oh, the DMer wrote back.
她说：“对不起 我只是想帮忙”
She says, "I'm sorry. I'm just trying to help."
“你已经经历了很多”
"You've already gone through so much."
“在演奏德彪西的曲子期间失去父亲 已经是人生中很难过的事情了”
"Losing a parent during Debussy is enough heartache for one lifetime."
哇 她提到了你的爸爸
Whoa, she mentioned your dad.
对 那个贱♥人♥怎么敢提他？
Yeah. How dare that bitch?
我不想要你帮忙 别烦着我…
I don't want your help. Leave me alo...
但在德维按下发送键之前 她恍然大悟
But before Devi could hit send, she had an epiphany.
等等 发私信的人 刚刚提到了德彪西？
Wait, did the DMer just say Debussy?
那是春季音乐会上演奏的曲子
That's what they played at the spring concert,
所有学生都不愿意去看音乐会
and no student would be caught dead going to that,
所以一定是管弦乐队的人
so that means she's in orchestra.
（你好 海莉 我看到你了）
你好 海莉
Hello, Haley.
这是我能找到的离桥最近的地方了
This is the closest location I could find to a bridge.
说话吧 喷水怪物
So start talking, troll.
德维 对不起 我是好心想提醒你要当心
Devi, I'm sorry. I really was trying to look out for you.
你设立了假账号♥
You created a fake account,
给我发来诡异的私信 里面什么信息都不说
sent me creepy DMs with no information in it
就为了挑拨离间
to ruin my relationship.
我知道 我不想让你知道我是谁 是因为说实话
I know, I just... I didn't want you to know who I was because honestly,
我不想重温那段过去
I didn't wanna have to relive it.
重温什么？
Relive what?
帕克斯顿是杀了你的狗吗？ 偷了你的车？
Did Paxton kill your dog? Steal your car?
说具体点 你♥他♥妈♥又不是占星的
Get specific. You're not a friggin' horoscope.
好吧
Fine.