好想做一次（2020）

今天是最后一天上学了 各位
It's the last day of school, folks.
德维感觉很好
And Devi was feeling good.
她已经把德斯忘了
She'd moved on from Des,
离人类存在的高峰 即毕业年 又更近一步
and was one step closer to the pinnacle of human existence, senior year.
德维·维什瓦库马尔 我们得聊聊
Devi Vishwakumar, we need to chat.
糟糕 是因为 我让夏皮罗老师哭了吗？
Oh no. Is this because I made Mr. Shapiro cry?
我只是问他 他在约会软件上的战绩如何
All I did was ask him how the dating apps are treating him.
放轻松 你这一次没有惹上麻烦 你听说过灌木丛学校吗？
Relax. Relax. You're not in trouble for once. Have you heard of the Shrubland School?
也许听过吧？是不是 科罗拉多州那所高级寄宿学校？
Uh, yeah? Maybe? Isn't it like that fancy boarding school in Colorado?
是的 女士
Yes, ma'am.
这是一项为期一年的密集课程 专为学业优异的毕业班学生而设
It is an intensive one-year program for academically gifted seniors.
每年我们都会提名 最优秀的三年级学生 你被选上了
Every year, we nominate our top junior, and you got in.
是吗？
- I did? - Mm-hmm.
等等 我能在大学申请书里 写上我被选上了吗？
Whoa. Wait. Can I put that I got in on my college apps?
知道什么更好吗？去那里上学！
You know what would be even better? Going there.
-对 -哦
- Yeah. - Oh.
等等 所以要搬去科罗拉多州？
Wait. So, like, moving to Colorado?
是的 所有的灌木丛学生 都会上顶尖的大学
Yes. All the Shrubland kids go to the top colleges.
这可能是你去普林斯顿的通行证
This could be your golden ticket into Princeton, young lady.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
澄清一下 这意味着高中最后一年 我不能在舍曼奥克斯这里上了？
But just to clarify, that means I wouldn't be here in Sherman Oaks for my senior year?
没错 德维 需要给你上一堂地理课吗？
No, Devi. Do we need a geography lesson?
你要跟大家道别了
You would have to say goodbye.
给你 恭喜
Here you go. Congratulations.
你！把枪给我！
You! Give me that gun!
Hmm.
剧名：…实现梦想
那是什么？天啊 你进灌木丛了？
What is that? Holy shit. Did you get into Shrubland?
是的
Sure did.
哇 随便什么人他们都愿意收啊
Wow, I guess they'll let anyone in.
有人因为没有被提名 觉得嫉妒了？
Hmm. Someone a little butt hurt that they weren't even nominated?
不 我不需要去什么破嬉皮士学校
No, I don't need to go to some bullshit hippie school
跟水晶什么乱七八糟的交流
and commune with crystals or whatever.
我乐意用传统的方法进入常春藤
I'm happy to get into an Ivy the old-fashioned way.
哦！利用你♥爸♥的关系？好样的
Oh! Using your dad's connections? Good for you.
你今天就可以离开吗？
Hmm, any chance you'll leave today?
我还没决定去不去呢
I actually haven't decided if I'm going.
什么？你还没决定是什么意思？
What? What do you mean you haven't decided?
灌木丛可以算是 落基山脉的埃克塞特了
Shrubland is the Exeter of the Rockies.
你刚刚说这是家破嬉皮士学校
You just called it a bullshit hippie school.
是的 我只是因为小气说的 你必须去
Yeah, out of pettiness. You have to go.
但我真的想在树林的小屋里 度过毕业年吗？
But do I really want to spend my last year in a shack in the woods?
毕业舞会、毕业班恶作剧 或欺负新生的活动怎么办？
What about prom, or a senior prank, or hazing freshmen?
好了 《动物屋》主人公 你不能再欺负新生了
Okay, Animal House. You can't haze freshmen anymore.
你想摆脱我 铲除明年的优秀毕业生对手吗？
Trying to get rid of me so you have no competition for valedictorian next year?
不是 虽然这么一想也挺美的 能够平静地当学校的领头羊
No, although the thought of being able to dominate the school in peace
没有你像一只嗜血蚊子一样 总在我身后缠着我
without you buzzing behind me like a bloodthirsty mosquito does sound nice.
但说真的 大卫 不去就太蠢了
- Hmm. - But for real, David, it's dumb not to go.
虽然本坚持让德维放弃在毕业年 实现约翰·休斯的电影情节的梦想
While Ben insisted Devi ditch her John Hughes dreams of senior year,
但她的朋友们持有迥然不同的立场
her friends had a very different stance.
不！你不能走 特伦特毕业了 算是抛弃我了
No! You can't leave! Trent is already abandoning me by graduating.
我知道啊！要是没有你们 我的毕业年该怎么过呢？
I know! Like, how can I miss out on senior year with you guys?
我还是觉得在上大学之前 我们还有很多事要做
I still feel like we have so much to accomplish together before college.
我和法比奥拉还是处♥女♥呢
I mean, Fabiola and I are still virgins.
对哦
Oh, right. Um...
法比 你的表情是什么意思？
Fab, what's that face?
好 上周艾迪森和我 在看《曼达洛人》
Okay. So, last week, Addison and I were watching The Mandalorian,
让气氛变得暧昧
and it set a mood,
然后一切都顺理成章 我们就做了
and one thing led to another, and we did it.
天啊
- Fab! - Oh my God!
是吗？那太赞了！
You did? That's frigging amazing!
恭喜你坠入爱河了！
Congratulations on your loverhood.
不敢相信你瞒着我们
Man, I can't believe you kept that from us.
对不起 只是我不像你们 一有什么动静就宣告于世
I'm sorry. It's just I'm not as announce-y as you guys are.
所以你跟艾迪森发展得如何？
So, how was it with Addison?
很赞 我觉得艾迪森唤醒了我的内心
Amazing. I think they awoke something in me.
我现在是有情有欲的人了
I'm a sensual person now.
我会发色情短♥信♥了
I sext.
（今晚见？等不及了）
我的天 你们知道这意味着什么吗？
Oh my God. Do you guys know what this means?
我是唯一的处♥女♥了
I'm the only virg left.
我以为我铁定会是第一个破处的 因为我很有胜负欲 也很饥渴
I thought I'd be the first to do it because I'm competitive and thirsty.
-别担心 你终会破的 -对啊
- Don't worry. It will happen for you. - Yeah.
我到了这个地方就破不了 你们觉得这些呆子会做♥爱♥吗？
Not if I go to this place. You think these dorks are porkin'?
算了吧 我不想错过和你们一起的 任何一个里程碑
Forget it. I don't want to miss out on any milestones with you guys,
我不能做一个布满尘灰的老姑婆 到大学还是处♥女♥
and I can't be one of those dusty old nuns who doesn't lose it until college.
-我不走了 -真的吗？谢天谢地
- I'm staying put. - Really? Thank God.
太好了！
Yes!
-喂！ -怎么了？
- Yo, yo, yo! - What up?
-嘿！ -祝高中的最后一天快乐
- Oh, hey! - Happy last day of high school ever.
-你感觉如何？ -说实话 苦乐参半吧
- How you feeling? - Honestly, it's kind of bittersweet.
我真不敢相信 今天之后 我们就不用再回来了
I just can't believe that after today we won't go here anymore.
我要去喝点水
I need a drink of water.
他没事吧？
Is he okay?
他有事
No, he's not.
各位 他非常不愿意接受 毕业这个事实
You guys, he's in such denial about graduating.
他不愿意聊 也不愿意清理储物柜
He won't talk about it. He won't clean out his locker.
他像行尸走肉一样
He's just completely shutting down.
上周以来 他一直很奇怪 即使是按特伦特的标准 也很奇怪
Yeah, he's been pretty weird for the last week. Like, even weird by Trent standards.
我觉得他真的很害怕 要出去找工作这件事
I think he's really scared he has to go out and find a job.
也因为要离开我而感到伤心
But I also think he's sad to be leaving me.
哎哟 小埃！
Aw, El!
对啊 要是没有他 我都不知道该怎么办
Yeah. I don't know what I'm gonna do without him.
他回来了 我们转移话题吧
Oh, he's coming back. Someone change the subject.
帕克斯顿 我听说你 是毕业班致辞人 太牛了
Uh, Paxton, I heard you got class speaker. That's dope.
对 有人投票支持我 我感到很荣幸
Oh, yeah. I was really honored that people voted for me.
无意冒犯 但我不明白 为什么要投票选毕业典礼上致辞的人
No offense, but I don't get why we vote on who speaks at graduation.
为什么不像别的学校一样 让最优秀毕业生致辞？
Why don't we just let the valedictorian talk like at other schools?
我也要还你一句“无意冒犯” 我要说呆子都很无聊
Well, I volley your no offense back to you to say that nerds are boring,
受欢迎的同学既好玩 又好笑
and popular kids are fun and hilarious.
说得好
Word.
特伦特没有错
Trent wasn't wrong.
受欢迎的孩子们 的确发表过一些令人难忘的演讲
The popular kids had given some memorable speeches.
该死 我烂醉如泥
Shit. I am so drunk.
我爱你们
I love you guys!
我想对所有怀疑我的蠢女人说
And I just want to say to all you stupid bitches who doubted me,
对于我来讲 你们跟死了一样
you're dead to me.
再见了 废物们！
Later losers!
你一定会讲得很精彩的
Well, I'm sure you're gonna crush it.
是啊 希望如此
Yeah, I hope so.
你是在说你的演讲吗？ 你应该跳一段热舞
Are you talking about your speech? You should do like a sexy dance.
这样不好吧？希拉
Uh, I don't think so, Shira.
你得做点性感的事情 因为你就是因为性感出名的
You have to do something hot. 'Cause that's like what you're known for.
我可不止性感
I'm known for more than that.
在毕业生最亮眼特点中 你的特点就是性感
I mean, that is what your senior superlative is.
帕克斯顿·霍尔-吉田 “最有可能因为性感成功”？
"Paxton Hall-Yoshida. Most likely to succeed at hotness"?
好吧
Yeah.
德维 这学期最后一天过得如何？
So, Devi, how was your last day at school?
发生了什么有趣的事吗？
Did anything interesting happen?
有些毕业班的学生用剃须膏 在校车上画生殖器
Mmm, some seniors used some shaving cream to draw genitalia on the school buses.
对 糟透了
Yeah. Terrible.
你确定今天学校里发生的
You're sure shaving cream genitalia
最有趣的事情 就是剃须膏画的生殖器？
was the most interesting thing that happened today?
老实说吧 德维 我想知道录取你的这所高级学校
- Mmm. - Honestly, Devi? I want to know about this fancy school you got into.
格拉布斯校长打给我了
Principal Grubbs called me.
你觉得她会只把改变人生的机会 告诉孩子们
You think she goes around telling children about life-changing opportunities
觉得“家长不需要知道”吗？ 把宣传册给我
and is like, "Eh, parents don't need to know"? Get me the brochure.
-没什么大不了的 -这其实是件大事
- It's not that big of a deal. - It actually is a big deal.
进那所学校难于上青天 我申请去那里教书 但被拒绝了
Nobody can get into that school. I applied to teach there. Rejected.
我感到很遗憾 亲爱的
I'm sorry, sweetheart.
这样是为大家好 你太脆弱了 曼尼什 不能住在高海拔的地方
It's for the best. You are too delicate, Manish, to live at high altitude.
太伤人了 我以为你现在喜欢我了
Burn. I thought you liked me now.