初来乍到（2015）

Fresh Off the Boat S02E22

Part 2 Oct. 9, 2020, 11:53 a.m.

Pow.
砰
Pow.
砰
Pow! Pow!
砰! 砰!
I'm telling you, it was him!
我跟你说了那就是他!
Why would Steven Tyler be at the sharper image in Orlando?
为什么史蒂芬·泰勒(美国音乐人)会出现在奥兰多的尖端印象店(专营潮品的店)里?
Because he wants a fogless shave mirror, honey.
因为他要买♥♥一个防雾的剃须镜蜜儿
Anyway, how's everything else?
不管了最近过得怎样?
How are your boys doing?
你家孩子们怎么样?
Fine. Eddie's mad at me
很好啊埃迪和我发脾气
because I won't let him go on his history field trip.
因为我不让他参加历史户外课
The one to colonial floridatowne?
是去弗罗里达的殖民小镇吗?
Believe me, you're doing the right thing.
相信我你做得太对了
I chaperoned when Nicole went,
妮可♥儿♥去的时候我陪着去过了
and let's just say the bathrooms are very realistic.
我们就说说厕所这个最现实的问题吧
Did you just say colonial floridatowne?
你刚才是说弗罗里达的殖民小镇吗?
They are literally wood sheds with a hole in the ground.
那些厕所其实就是些小木屋然后在地上挖了洞而已
I love colonial american history!
我超爱美国殖民历史哒!
Colonial americans were like the chinese of today.
美国的殖民者就像现在的中国人
Their struggle, their work ethic,
他们的挣扎他们的工作理念
Their ability to use every single part of the buffalo.
他们物尽其用的能力
I mean, you've seen my porcelain colonial mice.
我的意思是你看过我那些陶瓷殖民老鼠了吧
What the...?
什么...?
Colonial americans survived
美国殖民者在最艰苦的环境里
under the harshest of circumstances,
生存下来了
And for that, they deserve our respect.
正因为此他们值得我们尊敬
Look at this one.
看看这一个
proud, hard-working,
骄傲勤劳
holding out her milk jug to the world
把牛奶罐子伸向了这个世界
as if to say, "Show me your worst, america.
好像在说 "美国尽管把你最糟糕的一面展示给我吧
I'll still have milk."
我还是有牛奶可喝"
This one looks a little bit like Sally Field,
这个看起来有点像莎莉·菲尔德(美国女演员)
Don't you think?
你不觉得吗?
I think that one looks a lot like Sally Field.
我觉得她看起来是太像莎莉·菲尔德了
Where's your brother?
你哥哥在哪儿呢?
He's playing super mario in his room.
他在房♥间里玩超级马里奥呢
He says it's nice to start the day with a victory.
他说用一个胜利来开始新的一天感觉特别好
Eddie, you're gonna be late!
埃迪你要迟到了!
Stop playing italian maintenance twins and get in here!
不要再玩那两个意大利维修工兄弟了赶快过来!
Later, I'm going to dig a trash pit and burn this.
回头我要挖个垃圾焚烧坑把这东西给烧了
Louis, what are you doing? Put a shirt on.
路易斯你在干嘛啊? 穿上衬衫
I feel more comfortable this way.
我觉得这个样子更舒服呢
You hate being shirtless.
你很讨厌不♥穿♥上衣啊
You wear a t-shirt in the ocean.
你在海里也会穿件T恤呢
I'm trying to give you
我在努力向你展示
the macho action-movie energy you clearly crave.
你渴望的动作电影里的男性阳刚之气呢
What are you talking about?
你在说啥啊?
I found your tapes, jessica.
我发现了那些录影带杰西卡
The ones you keep hidden under our mattress.
你藏在我们床垫子底下的那些
Your action-movie tapes.
你的动作片带子
I don't watch action movies.
我不看动作片的啊
The only movies I watch are riveting denzel dramas
我只看关于诉讼案情摘要的
about legal briefs.
丹泽尔剧集啊
"Where are the legal briefs?
"案情摘要在哪里?
Who has the legal briefs?
谁有案情摘要?
Julia roberts, get me the legal briefs."
朱丽叶·罗伯茨给我案情摘要"
Okay, so if you didn't rent them, who did?
好吧那如果不是你租的那些录影带那是谁租的?
Probably your mother.
也许是你妈妈
I already searched her room.
我已经搜过她的房♥间了
All I found was a Chow Yun-Fat calendar.
只找到周润发的挂历
Somebody in this house is lying to me,
这个家里有人对我撒谎
and I'm gonna find out who.
我会找出来是谁的
Forgetting something?
你忘了什么没有?
Uh, why are you giving me this?
呃为什么你要给我这个?
I changed my mind.
我改主意了
You can go on your history field trip.
你可以去参加历史户外课了
Really?
真的吗?
Thanks, mom.
妈妈太感谢了
Wait.
等一下
Why are you wearing a hat?
为什么你要戴帽子?
Because I'm coming with you as parent chaperone.
因为我要以监护人的身份和你一起去
We leave at first light.
天一亮我们就出发
Aha!
啊哈!
Emery?
埃默里?
I can explain.
听我解释
Are you mad?
你生气了吗?
Oh, uh, no, no, I'm not, uh, mad.
额没没有我没有生气啦
I-I-I-I-I-I'm just, um, well...
我我我只是额
You know, Emery, you're at an age where, uh, your body...
埃默里你要知道你现在处于一个额你的身体
A-a-and by that I mean...
我说的身体是指...
Uh, uh, uh, a father's love knows no...
额父爱知道没有...
Greg Louganis is a wonderful... and Broadway.
格莱格•洛加尼斯是一个非常棒的... 还有百脑汇
Uh, although we may not live in the best state for...
呃虽然我们可能不是非常好的状态来...
The tapes were research for school.
那些带子是学校做研究用的
I knew it.
我就知道
I knew it was homework-related.
我就知道这肯定和家庭作业有关
Not exactly.
也不全是
You know how I've always made friends easily?
你知道我怎么总能轻易交到朋友吗?
Well, there's been a change at school.
呃现在学校里面有点儿变了
It's like it happened overnight.
好像是一夜之间变了的
And I'm tapping five mana to cast ancestral tentacle grab,
我要消耗5点法力值召唤先祖之触
dealing two damage to all your...
造成2点群体伤害对所有...
you guys are dorks.
你们都是笨蛋
I'm gonna go throw bottles at a train.
我要去扔瓶子砸火车
Suddenly, all of my friends are acting like tough guys.
突然之间我的所有朋友都表现地像硬汉一样
All they want to talk about is cars, fire,
他们聊的都是车啊枪火啊
and throwing things at other things.
还有用这个砸那个
And that's not me.
这不是我的风格
I don't even know how to hang with them anymore.
我都不知道该怎么和他们一起玩了
Puberty strikes hard and quick,
青春期来得又猛又快
like a large soda halfway through "Schindler's list."
就像看"辛德勒名单"到一半的时候喝了一大杯汽水
Anyway, that's why I rented the tapes.
不管怎样这就是我租这些带子的原因
The video store has a whole section on tough guys.
录像店里有一整区都是关于硬汉的
And I was hoping they might help me figure it out.
我还想说它们能帮我弄清楚呢
But I know what I'm gonna do.
不过我现在知道该怎么做了
I've decided to write a poem.
我决定了要写一首诗
A poem?
一首诗?
For class.
给全班同学的
I'm gonna tell an epic story through verse
我要以诗的形式讲一个史诗般的故事
and show that brains are as valuable as brawn.
告诉他们大脑和肌肉一样重要
Big no to that.
绝对不行
Luckily, as a small-business owner
幸好作为一以服务客户为生的
who relies on customer service,
小企业家
I understand the mechanics of getting people to like you.
我知道怎么让别人喜欢和你交朋友
You find out what makes them tick,
你找到他们感兴趣的东西
and then you use that to relate to them.
然后通过这些东西去了解他们
Like, uh, these boys at school...
比如说学校里的这些孩子们
how do they speak to each other?
他们是怎么跟对方说话的?
Well, they mostly just insult each other
他们大部分时间都在对骂
And make jokes about farts.
还有讲"屁"的笑话
Like, "Who farted?
像 "谁放的屁?
Did you fart? No, I farted.
你放的? 不，我放的
Fart, fart, fart."
屁屁屁"
That's a funny joke.
这笑话不错啊
So, they have a sense of humor.
所以说他们挺幽默的啊
Good.
很好
That'll be the key to winning their respect.
这就是赢得他们尊重的关键
And group five is Huang, Masterson,
第五组是黄马斯特森
Stone, Selby, and Pew.
石头塞尔比和皮尤
Your chaperone will be mrs. Huang.
你们的监护人是黄女士
Mother goose!
鹅妈妈!