熟女镇（2009）

Cougar Town S03E13

Part 3 Dec. 8, 2020, 10:44 p.m.

Yeah? Wow. It's like my legs are just gone.
是吗好像我的腿瞬间没有了
Say hello to the gauntlet.
考验的时候到了
If Stan can walk down this aisle without getting distracted,
如果斯坦可以不受任何干扰走完这条通道
he can be the ring bearer.
我就让他做我的花童
My boy is gonna crush this.
我儿子一定会克服这些的
The only way devil baby is gonna be in our wedding
让那邪恶宝宝当花童的唯一办法就是
is if we hannibal lecter him to a dolly.
像汉尼拔·莱克特那样把他变成一个娃娃
I don't want him there raising hell either.
我也不想让他在婚礼现场胡闹
I have rigged this so he cannot win.
我已经装备好了他一定走不过去
For stan, this is a walk of temptation.
对斯坦来说这是一段充满诱惑的路程
I've got a table full of markers,
有一桌子的记号♥笔
A hammer... next to a jar of shells,
一罐子的贝壳旁边还放着把锤子
And I borrowed the flanagans' puppy.
我还借来了弗拉纳根家的小狗
Now is the puppy a distraction
小狗能让他分心
because he wants to play with it or...
是因为他想跟它玩儿还是...
Who cares?
管他呢
Stan, come to mommy.
斯坦来妈妈这儿
permanent markers.
洗不掉的记号♥笔
Stan, focus on me.
斯坦专心看我
All right. You. Me. Come on!
就这样只有你和我加油啊
Stan, there's a hammer. Go nuts. Smash anything you want.
斯坦这有把锤子想砸什么随你喜欢
Don't listen to her! Ignore her.
别听她的就当她不存在
She's a witch.
她是个巫婆
He's gonna make it.
他就要做到了
Not if I can help it. Rice!
我绝不会让他成功大米来了
There you go. Yeah.
对就这样
Go for the eyes!
往眼睛上撒
I am!
我知道
Ignore it.
不要管它
Good job!
太棒了儿子
He's gonna be your ring bearer.
他要当你的花童了
Yay.
好吧
So, guys, I really appreciate you helping me
伙计们我真的很感谢你们帮我
with these wedding vows.
写婚礼誓词
How about something along the lines
类似这种的怎么样
of "I cannot wait to share one life, one home,
"我已等不及要与你生死与共一起生活
one consciousness"?
同心同德"
Stinks.
真俗
Vows need to be heartfelt, Trav, like,
誓词要发自肺腑小崔要像这样
"Grayson, you're so hot that I don't have to pretend
"格雷森你性感得让我和你嘿♥咻♥的时候
that you're Matt Damon when we do it.
不用想象你是帅气的马特·达蒙
I just pretend that he's watching."
而是想象着他在看着我们做"
Oh, I got it.
我也想到一个
"Grayson, you are mountain-brewed
"格雷森你是用最棒的啤酒花
with the choicest of hops."
在山里酿出最醇美的酒"
Can one of you say something that's not about beer
你们能不能不说和啤酒
and not about having sex with Matt Damon?
和马特·达蒙嘿♥咻♥有关的东西
Pilsner!
比尔森啤酒
You guys are both less than zero help.
你们真是一点儿忙也帮不上
Okay, I just mashed together a bunch of Stan's play-doh
我在和斯坦的彩色泥
'cause the consistency is like pizza.
因为它的粘稠度和披萨面团差不多
Wash your hands after this.
弄完以后记得要洗手
Some of that might have been in stan's butt.
这里面可能有斯坦的便便
Noted.
知道了
Tossing is all about confidence.
甩好披萨的关键是自信
There is no pizza.
心无披萨
There's just you.
相信自己
Give her a whirl.
来试试
Here we go.
来吧
Oh, you know, I'm not built for this.
算了我天生不是这块料
My hands are like five "D" Batteries taped to a bagel.
我的手就像是五块电池粘在一块百吉饼上
No, no. Look, look, look, look. You're fine.
不别这样你做得很好
Just--just stop being a wuss. You got this.
别像个胆小鬼似的你能做到的
I'm--I'm never gonna get to be the mayor.
我永远也当不了市长
Why is everybody so down?
大家怎么都这么消沉
Bobby, you're not even watching your old football game.
鲍比你怎么连老式橄榄球比赛都不看了
Those damn leather helmets.
都怪当年那些该死的皮帽
I mean, a guy got hit and never got up.
一名队员被打中了就再也起不来了
I saw a man die.
一个人就这样死在我眼前
All right. Uh, I know what will cheer everyone up.
好了我知道什么能让你们高兴起来
Let's drink a bunch of wine!
我们来喝酒
Oh, I like that idea. Yeah, all right.
这主意我喜欢好吧
Hand me the glass.
把杯子给我
No!
不要
Overreaction in three...
过激反应倒计时三...
Two... one...
二...一...
Your son just killed one of my best friends!
你儿子刚刚杀了我一个最好的朋友
Called it.
猜中了
It's not that big a deal. I'll buy you a new one.
别大惊小怪的我再给你买♥♥一个新的
Damn it, Ellie. Discipline your son.
该死的艾莉管管你的儿子吧
That's him being out of control, and it's your fault
他完全失控了这都是你的错
for being a bad mom.
你是个不称职的母亲
Ohh! Oh, no. No, no.
不不要
No. No. Wow.
不别这样
Okay. Take-backs?
好吧我收回刚才说的话
Screw you, and I'm out of here.
去你的我走了
Well, this is the worst Thanksgiving ever.
这是最糟的一个感恩节了
Well, that's because it's not thanksgiving.
因为这根本就不是感恩节
Shut your pie hole.
闭上你的臭嘴
Great news.
好消息
My patient died, and I brought wine.
我病人挂了我带酒来了
Are those all for you?
这些都是你要喝的
This is how much big carl used to hold.
以前大卡能装这么多
It's not the same.
感觉一点儿也不一样
I said the meanest thing to Ellie.
我刚刚对艾莉说了一句最残忍♥的话
Don't be so hard on yourself.
别太苛求自己了
Y-you're kind. You're sweet.
你很善良也很漂亮
You got a tush I can set my watch to.
你还有个很棒的屁♥股♥让我看
That was weird, but...
听起来好怪不过...
I need to apologize to Ellie,
我得跟艾莉道歉去
And I want you to come with me.
我希望你能跟我一起去
Score.
没问题
Dad, I thought you could use a cold one.
老爸我猜你会想要一瓶冰啤酒来喝
Laurie, I didn't know what to get you,
劳里我不知道要给你什么才好
So here's $46.
所以就给你46块钱吧
This feels like $43.
这感觉像43块
I'm smellin' a butter-up.
我闻到了巴结的味道
I'm sorry I blew up about the vows.
我很抱歉为誓词的事跟你们生气
Please come back and help.
请回来继续帮我好吗
Successfully buttered.
马屁拍得很成功
I was right. This is $43.
我说对了确实只有43块
That's a weird, scary talent.
太诡异了好可怕的天赋
You know, they say the saddest holidays
你知道吗人们都说过节最凄惨的
are the ones spent alone,
就是孤身一人
But alone on a fake holiday--
而独自度过一个假节日
That seems worse.
好像更惨
You are going to miss that pizza toss, huh?
你就要错过那个甩披萨大赛了
Don't you want to be mayor?
你还想不想当市长了
God, why do you care about this so much?
天哪为什么你这么在乎这件事
You and I gotta be a team now.
你和我现在是一个战线的
Jules and Ellie-- they're already a team.
茱尔斯和艾莉她们已经是一个战线的了
If we don't have each other's backs,
如果我们俩不互相罩着
They're just gonna keep bulldozing us
她们就是要威逼我们
into doing a bunch of stuff that we don't want to do.
去做那些我们不想做的事
Today it was a fake holiday.
今天她们要过假节日
What's it gonna be tomorrow?
那明天又会有什么新花招
They'll make us get Iitalian food
我们明明想吃中餐
when we want Chinese.
她们却会硬逼着我们咽下意大利食物
Oh, that will be okay. I'll get a nice gnocchi.
也行啊我喜欢吃意式团子
No. You want chinese food!
不你要坚定想吃中餐的信念