熟女镇（2009）

Cougar Town S03E04

Part 1 Dec. 8, 2020, 10:41 p.m.

What is up with the cop uniform?
你怎么拿着警♥察♥制♥服♥
Aw, this is from when Grayson proposed to me,
这是格雷森向我求婚时穿的那件啊
but lately, we've been using it for,
之后嘛我们就拿它...
well, you know how we do.
你们懂的
Role playas.
角色扮演
You have the right to remain naked.
你有权利保持裸体
How would you like it if we talked about our sex life all the time?
如果我们也一天到晚聊房♥事你们会怎么想
Oh, come on. No. Don't. No, no, no.
不是吧别千万别
Great. They're grossed out by the thought of us naked.
这下可好他们想到我们裸体就恶心
Not us, my friend.
不仅仅是我们俩
Newspaper jinx!
抢报纸
I win. Come on, guys. Hand 'em over.
我赢啦快都交上来
Sweet, triple coupons.
真好有三份优♥惠♥券了
Tom, do you think you could
汤姆能麻烦你
turn that new fountain off every once in a while?
偶尔把新喷泉关一下吗
Why?
为什么
I sleep with my windows open,
我睡觉喜欢开着窗户
and it just makes me have to pee constantly.
这流水声总让我尿意十足
What just happened? Was that magic?
刚发生什么了是魔法吗
It's the damn bicycle boys.
是可恶的单车男孩
They found a shortcut to the new mall.
他们找到了一条去新购物中心的近路
What new mall?
哪来的新购物中心
They built it right behind our neighborhood.
就建在我们社区后面
You signed my petition trying to stop it, remember?
你还签了我起草的反对书呢记得吗
No.
不记得
The bicycle boys are bad news, Jules.
单车男孩可不是个好消息茱尔斯
They--They write "don't" on the stop signs.
他们把停车标志改成"不停"
They call anyone over 20 "grandpa".
管奔三以上的人叫"爷爷"
They... made my garden gnomes gay.
还... 把我们家花♥园♥矮人变成同性恋了
Actually, that was me, Tom,
其实那是我♥干♥的汤姆
but those bicycle boys--
可那些单车男孩...
they picked the wrong cul-de-sac.
他们走错胡同了
Duck! What?
闪什么
A new mall? That's horrible.
一个新购物中心这太糟糕了
Do they have hot dogs on a stick?
有热狗卖♥♥吗
No! We are against the new mall, even though
不行我们得反对新购物中心
they have an awesome men's store called "Short and Wide".
虽说他们有家很棒的男装店叫"矮胖瓜"
I believe we just found your new nickname.
这个外号♥很适合你
Fine, but I will still gladly take on
好吧不过我还是很乐意
the burden of handling the bicycle boys.
肩负起教训单车男孩的重任
Short and wide fancies himself the protector of the neighborhood.
"矮胖瓜"想当社区守护神啊
I'm more like the king.
应该是国王
I do everything around here.
很多事都是我出力的
No, you don't.
才没有
Who got us all new recycling bins?
社区的垃圾箱都是谁买♥♥的
Who writes the Cul-de-sac's Weekly newsletter?
《胡同周刊》的时事通讯又是谁写的
Who got the permits so Tom could put up his fountain?
汤姆那喷泉的许可证是谁办的
That thing undid six months of potty training for Stan.
那破喷泉搞得斯坦又开始尿裤子了
Andy, you're talking about manual labor.
安迪你说的都是体力活
Kings didn't build the pyramids. Slaves did.
国王才不会费力盖金字塔这都靠奴隶
Or aliens.
或者外星人
You know, I wine-watched a documentary last night,
我昨晚边喝酒边看一部纪录片
and it's all a little fuzzy.
模模糊糊的
Come back, sweetie. Bring your point with you.
绕回来亲爱的说重点
Sorry.
抱歉
I am the king of the neighborhood,
我才是社区之王
because I take care of the people.
因为我惠民爱民
Who saved the Goldsteins' marriage?
谁拯救了戈德斯坦家的婚姻
Who stopped Mrs. Rose from her suicide attempt?
谁阻止了罗丝夫人的自杀
She was gonna jump off her shed.
她只是想从屋顶上跳下来而已
She was holding scissors.
她拿着剪刀呢
Okay. Let's take it to a vote.
好吧咱们来投票
Okay, all that think Andy is king of the neighborhood,
好认为安迪是社区之王的
raise your hand.
请举手
Grayson, count those.
格雷森点票
Give me a sec.
稍等
Zero.
零票
And those who think I am king.
那觉得我是社区之王的呢
All hail King Jules.
为茱尔斯王欢呼吧
Come on!
拜托
Bye, S.W.
回见矮胖瓜
Okay, dad, stop posing.
好了爸别摆造型了
The assignment is to take a picture of a stranger
我的任务是拍一个陌生人
working in his natural environment.
正常干活时的照片
You're not supposed to know you're being photographed.
你不应该知道有人在拍你
I see the camera right there.
我都看到相机了
I see your dilemma.
看你个头
Can I wear the pirate hat?
我能带上海盗帽吗
No pirate hat.
不能
This is gonna be a boring picture.
真够没劲的
Crazy idea--instead of cheating on your assignment,
我有个疯狂的点子与其要作弊
how about--get this--
还不如听好了
not cheating?
老老实实不作弊
Yeah, that's not really an option with the old, uh...
这对我来说可不是个好主意
skull fracture.
我头骨裂了
You want to see what happens when you try to take
你想知道戴着头盔偷♥拍♥
secret shots of strangers while wearing a helmet?
别人都什么反应吗
"Daddy, look!"
"爸爸快看"
"It's Dork Vader."
"是翻版达斯·维达"
向天行者卢克坦白自己是他的亲生父亲让大家震惊
Darth Vader：在《星际大战》中黑武士达斯·维达
"It's Dork Vader."
"是翻版达斯·维达"
I got that one a lot.
很多人都这么说哟
Okay, here. Bobby.
好吧鲍比
Go like this. Purse your lips a little, like...
这么做撅一撅嘴像这样...
What? It's--It's what we did
怎么我当年做沃德百货的
when I was an underwear model for Montgomery Ward.
内♥裤♥模特时就这么拍照
You just tried to slip that one in there, didn't ya?
你就故意找机会来提这茬对吧
There are two types of underwear models--
有两种内♥裤♥模特
front guys and butt guys.
前凸的或者后翘的
I was both.
我两者兼备
He said proudly. All right. Dad.
这语气真自豪好吧爸爸
Grayson in bikini briefs-- think about it.
格雷森穿比基尼想象一下
Whoa, it's not a sad thing.
怎么很糟糕吗
Laurie, why are you texting me?
劳里你给我发短♥信♥干嘛
And you sent me a nude picture of yourself?
还给我发了张你的裸照
You just got photo bomb.
你被照片炸♥弹♥轰炸了
Check out your downstairs.
看你的下♥体♥啊
Someone's an artist.
某人拍的很不错哦
Thank you. Dear God, jelly bean.
谢谢我的老天小软蛋
Why would you risk having a picture like this get out?
这种照片流出来你不怕有风险吗
What risk?
什么风险
The whole world saw Paris Hilton's Berts and Ernie,
全世界的人都看过帕丽斯·希尔顿的双峰
And now she's rich.
瞧她现在多富
Yeah, and now she's rich.
是啊她"现在"多富有
Jules put naked pictures of herself online.
茱尔斯就上传过裸照
That was an accident.
那是意外
Apparently, anyone can call themselves
显然任何人都可以自称
an "online dermatologist".
"网络皮肤科医生"
Now I have Ellie check my downstairs moles.
现在有艾莉来检查我下♥体♥的痣
Nothing good comes out of
放出自己的裸照
letting nude pictures of yourself out in the world.
绝对不会发生什么好事
You are so wrong, and I'm going to prove it.
大错特错我证明给你看
There's this army guy in Afghanistan
我在微博上认识了
that I met on Twitter.
一个驻阿富汗的军人
He's been asking for a skin pic,
他一直在要我的裸照
and now I am about to oblige.
现在我就赐给他吧
"Send".
"发送"
Don't worry. I kept it classy.
别担心是很优雅的一张
Covered up my Berts.
遮住两点
Single-nerped him. Just a peek.
漏一点给他小窥一下