熟女镇（2009）

Cougar Town S03E13

Part 2 Dec. 8, 2020, 10:44 p.m.

Oh, I forgot to wash the gravy boat out from last year.
去年的酱油壶我都忘了洗
Oh, no worries. It's easier to peel off
别担心反正等它变硬了
when it hardens, anyway.
更好剥
That is both disgusting and awesome all at the same time.
真是集恶心与壮观于一身啊
So what did Ellie want?
艾莉到底想怎样
Come on. That whole gettin' in our faces and yellin' at us
别装了她冲我们大喊大叫
to support you-- that's a classic butter-up.
来支持你很明显在巴结你
What are you talking about?
说什么呢
That's when you do something for someone--
意思是为别人做点事
when you want that someone to do something for you.
就是想让这个人也为自己做点事
I did it when we were married all the time.
和你离婚前我都是这么干的
You remember when I wanted that pool?
还记得我想要游泳池那次吗
I told you I'd never cheat on you again
我跟你保证再也不会劈腿
and how much I loved you,
我深深地爱着你
and I gave you a foot rub and whatnot.
还给你买♥♥了磨脚器什么的
Then I asked you for a pool, and bam! I got a pool.
然后我跟你说想要游泳池成功了
And two months later,
结果两个月后
you banged the pool guy's wife in it,
你就跟泳池修建工的老婆在泳池里搞上了
and I learned the meaning of irony.
我就结结实实尝了一把讽刺的味道
You're welcome.
不客气
Ellie's my friend. There's no strings attached.
艾莉是我的朋友为我做事不求回报
She just wants me to be happy.
她就是单纯地希望我幸福
Big carl.
大卡
Don't ever leave me, buddy.
永远不要离开我亲爱的
You talk to him a lot?
你经常跟他谈心吗
Only after you go to bed.
都是在你睡觉之后
Hey, slick.
帅哥
How are you coming with those vows?
誓词写得怎么样了
Here's a little bit.
有点意思了
**For better or worse*
*无论好坏
**For the rest of my life*
*我的余生
**Till death do us part*
*直至死亡将我们分开
**Gonna make you my wife*
*你都是我的妻子
**'cause you were made for me*
*因为我们天生一对
That's a good start. Whatever.
总之这开头不错
You know what would make tomorrow extra special?
你知道什么会让明天更加特别吗
If Grayson got to hear your vows at dinner.
就是晚饭时格雷森能听到你的誓词
What?!
什么
I showed you mine. You show me yours.
我的已经给你展示了该你露两手了
Classic schoolyard rules, huh?
经典校园法则对吧
I can't wait to say them.
我恨不得现在就说出来
Why would you do that?
你干嘛要这么做
For fun.
好玩
I can't believe you brought that box home.
真不敢相信你把这个盒子带回来了
Writing vows is really hard.
写婚礼誓词真是难死了
It's terrible.
太悲催了
"Grayson, there are so many great things about you.
"格雷森你优点太多了
For instance, I've never seen you hit a child."
比如我从没见你打过孩子"
Wow. All right.
这样吧
Um, I'd help you with this romantic stuff,
我帮你搞定这份浪漫的誓词
but this here-- jet-black cave full of bats.
但我内心还是恶多于善的
You'll figure it out, sweetie.
你等着瞧吧亲爱的
Can I ask you a little favor?
能帮个小忙吗
I was wondering,
我在想
do you think Stan could be the ring bearer at your wedding?
可不可以让斯坦给你当花童
It would mean so much to me to have him there.
他能给你当花童我将感激不尽
Plus, he'd look so cute in his little tux.
而且他穿小礼服超可爱的
Wouldn't he? Yeah, he
对吧对
Hey, E-biscuit.
艾美眉
Stan's outside trying to lasso a puppy.
斯坦在外面给小狗套链子呢
He is getting good with that extension cord.
他对拴狗链这事越来越拿手了
He's an athlete.
小小运动员啊
Go ahead.
直说吧
That bitch just buttered me up.
那货真的在巴结我
Happy Thanksgiving.
感恩节快乐
Fakesgiving.
伪恩节
Shush it. Okay, um, Laurie, I have to ask you,
闭嘴劳里我必须请教下你
because you just never know.
因为你从来都搞不清楚状况
Is that a costume or a real outfit?
你穿的这是戏服还是正装
It's a costume.
必须是戏服啊
Did you guys really think this was my outfit?
你们不会真的以为这是我的正装吧
Besides Thanksgiving, I also missed Halloween last year
除了感恩节我去年还错过了万圣节
because I was getting that tattoo removed
因为那天我忙着洗掉
from my upper left drumstick.
左小腿上方的文身
And then on Christmas, I passed out on the booze cruise
圣诞节买♥♥酒一日游的游艇上我喝多了
that turned out to be a cruise cruise,
结果发现那只是观光一日游
and I woke up in Belize, so today I'm gonna represent
等我醒了已经身在伯利兹了所以今天
all three holidays that I missed.
我把我错失的这三个节日集于一身
Happy thanks-mas-ween, everyone!
感诞万节日快乐
Well done. You took something completely absurd
人才啊你将荒诞发挥到极致
and multiplied it by 3.
并且更上三层楼
Okay, I have made a list of jobs for everyone.
好了我给你们每个人列了个任务单
Bobby, your job is to do exactly what you normally do
鲍比你一般在感恩节干啥
on Thanksgiving.
现在还干啥
Drink beer and watch football?
喝啤酒看球赛吗
Don't let me down.
别让我失望
Grayson and Andy, you go buy the centerpiece.
格雷森和安迪你们去买♥♥餐桌上的装饰品
Go.
快去
Okay, Miss Krazy Kakes...
至于你疯狂蛋糕小姐
You're gonna bake pies...
你负责做派
And, Travis, you're going to write my wedding vows.
崔维斯你来帮我写婚礼誓词
What?
什么
You got me into this mess, and besides,
这麻烦是你惹的而且
You're so creative.
你这么有才
That's why I work so hard to pay your way through college.
我才甘心累死累活供你读完大学
Quality guilt trip. I'll see what I can do.
让我负罪的这番话真有水准我尽力吧
Now, Ellie, Stan can be the ring bearer
艾莉只要斯坦能证明他有能力
if he can prove he can do it.
就让他做花童
How?
怎么证明
I'll think of something.
容我想想
Thinking equals drinking.
没有酒怎么想
Oh, sure, sure. Sure.
对对对
There's no football on this time of year,
每年这个时候都没有橄榄球赛
so I got a tape of a game from 1949
所以我拿了盘从没看过的
that I've never seen.
1949年的比赛碟片来
Working on mom's wedding vows.
绞尽脑汁帮老妈写誓词呢
You didn't exactly inherit the romantic gene from your pops.
你真是一点都没继承到你老爸的浪漫基因
I heard about your wedding vows,
你的婚礼誓词我有所耳闻
and I don't think mom wants to motorboat Grayson.
我觉得老妈不会想一头扎进格雷森的胸脯
Hey, the crowd loved it.
群众们都爱死我的誓词了好不好
Well, if you're so good at it,
如果你真这么有才
why don't you say something romantic to that beer?
对你的啤酒来点甜言蜜语听听
Beer, other drinks may get me drunk,
啤啤其他酒类可能会让我喝醉
but only you intoxicate me.
但只有你能让我沉醉
Wish I felt that way about anything.
真希望我对待所有事都能有你这样的激♥情♥
Is that quarterback smoking?
又勾起了你四分卫的瘾吗
Back then, football was hard-core.
想当年橄榄球最让人上瘾
Where are the hot black guys?
帅气的黑人小伙们都去哪儿了
I'm so happy I'm wasting my time...
真开心我把时间浪费在
doing this instead of learning
买♥♥东西而不是学习
how to toss a pizza in five hours.
如何在五个小时内甩张披萨出来
Dude, tossing 'za is easy.
伙计甩披萨容易得很
When Vivian left me,
薇薇安离开我之后
I watched a lot of how-to videos.
我看了好多"教你如何"的视频
I can also tile a bathroom, make soap,
我会给卫生间铺地砖做肥皂
stonewash my own jeans,
石洗牛仔裤
Oh, and I can squeeze a pressure point on your hand
我还会给你捏手上的穴位
that will make your whole body relax.
这会让你的全身都放松下来
Great, cos I am freaked out.
太好了我可吓坏了
Good god. That's amazing.
老天哪太舒服啦