开心汉堡店

Bob's Burgers S11E15

Part 5 May 24, 2021, 3:41 p.m.

你有口香糖吗
Oh, you got gum?
是啊你想要一块吗
Y-Yeah. Do-do you want a piece?
我从来不会拒绝口香糖
I never say no to a piece of gum.
给你
Okay, here you go.
现在你可以借我
Now if I could just get that...
我要两个吧留一个后吃
Maybe one for now, one for later?
行给你
Okay, fine. Here.
今天也是我的大日子
Big night for me, too, I guess.
我太兴奋了
I'm just bouncing off the walls.
多设想几个场景
Going through scenarios,
-好的 -提前即兴
- Right. - you know, pre-improvising.
-没问题 -谁知道呢
- Yep. - Who knows.
谁知道今夜会有什么发生呢是吧鲍鲍
Who knows what the night holds, right, Bobby?
可能我会有即兴的灵感
Maybe I'll think of some improvs,
也可能不会可能我的脑子会一片空白
maybe I won't, maybe my mind will just go blank.
好吧泰迪我会来的
Okay, fine. Teddy, I'll come.
我会来喊"内♥裤♥"
I'll come and yell out "Underpants."
真的吗太好了
Oh, really? That's great.
因为你之前不是很想来
Because you weren't that into it before.
没有我会很开心的
Yeah, no, yeah. It's-it's gonna be great.
但是泰迪我们必须要走了
So, anyway, Teddy, we really have to go.
20分钟之后有个家长会
We have parent-teacher-student conferences in 20 minutes.
我太想知道琳达到底犯什么事了
Gosh, I-I'm just dying to know what Linda's ticket was for.
我打赌肯定是好事
I bet it was something great
只是警♥察♥误会了
and the cops just misunderstood.
比如偷了一朵云之类的
Like stealing a cloud.
在公共场合拉屎行了吗
It was for public pooping, okay?
只是据说我是说不是的
I mean, allegedly. I mean, not that.
我那是即兴表演快忘掉快忘掉
I was improvising. Forget I said anything.
20块给我再见
I'm taking the 20. Bye.
嚼就行了泰迪
Just chew it, Teddy.
别吞掉靠
Don't swallow it. Damn it.
好吧你们要假装
Okay, you guys have to pretend
我没说过你们妈妈的事
I didn't tell you what your mom did.
可能做过也可能没做过的事
May-may or may not have done, I mean.
把我刚才说的都忘掉
Y-You have to erase that from your minds.
有些爸爸说的事情
There are some things your father tells you
永远也忘不掉
that you never forget.
"你妈因为在公共场合排便而收到罚单"
And "Your mom got a ticket for public defecation"
绝对是其中之一
is definitely one of them.
我不敢相信这件事我也不敢相信
I can't believe this and I can't believe I learned
我今天竟然学了个拉屎的新说法
a new word for poop today.
排便排便排便
Defecation, defecation, defecation...
排便排便排便
defecation, defecation, defecation.
完了他们都死了
Dead. They're all dead.
鲍勃蒂娜吉恩露易丝都死了
Bob, Tina, Gene, Louise, dead.
所以他们才没来接我
That's why they aren't gettin' me.
我从此要孤身一人
I've got no one and nothing in this world.
在这了此余生了
I live here now.
能帮我换个牢房♥吗
Can I, can I switch cells?
你好我们来交琳达·贝尔彻的罚款
Hi, we're here to pay the fine for Linda Belcher.
给你
Here it is.
都是小票额啊
In small bills.
很好怎么这么湿啊
Great. Why is it wet?
-是汗吗 -可能吧
- Is that sweat? - Probably.
20, 25, 26...
我们还有事麻烦
We're kind of in a hurry, so...
我都忘了数到哪了
Well, now I've lost my place.
20, 25...
那个我们要去
It's just, we have the kids'
给孩子们开家长会
parent-teacher-student conferences,
我们还要赶到学校所以
and we need to get to the school, so...
记得告诉我情况
Oh, let me know how that goes.
我们今天被留堂了
We got detention today.
可能你们系统里已经有记录了
That's probably already in your system.
我也不知道具体要怎么办
I don't know if that's how it works.
关于这件事之前局长还给我们开了个会
Yeah, we had a meeting about it with the chief.
天哪
Oh, God.
亲爱的抱歉让你等了这么久
Hi, honey. Sorry it took so long to get here.
凑钱有点小困难
There were, some, money things.
没事你们好呀
It's fine. Hi, kids.
-你好妈妈 -你好呀 -你好母亲
- Hi, Mom. - Hey, there. - Hello, Mother.
你是不是跟他们说了
You told them, didn't you?
-说什么呀 -没有啊
- Told us what? - No.
我都不知道排便是什么意思
I don't even know what defecation is.
像做礼拜一样吗
Something you do at church?
好吧抱歉我跟泰迪说了
Yeah, sorry. And I told Teddy.
可能也跟提款机那里的一个人说了
And maybe a guy at the ATM.
-我记不清了 -好吧
- I-I can't really remember. - Okay, fine.
我在公共场所拉屎被捕了
I pooped in public and I got arrested.
不是的你是被拘留了
Not technically. You were detained.
-她也被留堂了 -谢谢了
- She got detention. - Thank you.
好吧重大消息你们妈妈并不完美行了吗
So, newsflash: your mom isn't perfect, okay?
你为什么觉得我们会认为你是完美的
What made you think we thought you were perfect?
你还有得长进
Yeah, you're a work in progress.
我们到车上再说吧
Hey, we should really finish this conversation I-in the car.
还有七分钟家长会就开始了
the conferences start in seven minutes.
我们现在就该离开这里出发了
So we should leave jail and go do that.
你们以为我会不让你们看电视吗
So you thought I was gonna say no TV?
-有点 -不会的我又不是恶魔
- Kind of? - I would never. I'm not a monster.
电视几乎算是我最爱的孩子了
TV's almost my favorite child.
如果我有最爱的话
If I had a favorite.
我们确实会庆祝它的生日
We do celebrate its birthday.
你还觉得我们以后会不尊敬你
And you thought we'd never respect you
或不再听你的话吗
or listen to you again?
是的在这一切之后你们为什么要听呢
Well, yeah. Why would you, after all this?
你说真的吗你坐过牢
Are you serious? You did time.
我现在比以往任何时候都更尊敬你
I respect you more than ever now.
对你变了变强硬了
Yeah, you've changed, man. You got hard.
还有我们也不想变得跟你一样
And we also kind of don't want to end up like you.
那我...
So I...
算是把你们吓得回到正轨了
kind of scared you straight?
-太正了 -那很好
- Damn straight. - Well, then, good.
-好了我们进去吧 -等等听着
- Okay, let's go in. - Wait a sec. Listen.
-我们已经迟到了 -那就再迟一点
- We're already late. - So we'll be a little late.
你们听着这点很重要
Here's the thing: it is important
让大家都守规矩
for everyone to follow the rules.
但有时我们会犯错
But sometimes we make mistakes.
有些我们能控制比如把热狗
Some we can control, like putting a hot dog
放进卷笔刀里但有些我们不能
in a pencil sharpener, and some we can't.
-比如夹紧你的"刮约肌" -"括约肌"
- Like clenching your sphynxter. - "Sphincter."
-我说什么了 -算了
- What did I say? - Never mind.
但只要我们努力
But as long as we're trying,
终究会没事的好吗
we'll all be okay, you know?
-你拉在了灌木丛里 -看着我
- You pooped in a bush. - Look at me.
你们要是有谁敢在学校里提起这茬
Any of you bring this up inside of that school, ever,
电视就扔到海里
the TV goes in the ocean.
-懂了 -我们永远不会的
- Got it. - We won't, ever!
你也是鲍勃
You, too, Bob.
我现在好害怕你
I'm so scared of you right now.
很好谁给我一张湿纸巾吧
Good. Now somebody get me a baby wipe.
剧院
好了
Okay.
我们需要建议
So we need a suggestion.
什么都行
Anything at all.
-内♥裤♥ -鸡翅
- Underpants. - Chicken wings.
鸡翅
Oh, chicken wings.
我有个关于鸡翅超棒的故事
I got a great story about chicken wings.
这是我刚刚才想到的
I mean, I-it's a thing I'm just coming up with now.
-好了鸡翅 -什么
- Okay, chicken wings. - What?
麻烦来一份鸡翅
One order of chicken wings, please.
天呐