开心汉堡店
Bob's Burgers S11E11
Part 4
May 24, 2021, 3:41 p.m.
You know my record is 3.5 seconds.
我们得想办法拖延时间
We got to stall him somehow.
有人知道
Does anyone know the number
消防部主管的号♥码吗
for the head of fire code enforcement?
对了 我知道
Oh, that's right, I do.
雨果 你的约会对象在这 她来过了
Hugo, your date's here. She's been here.
他现在在员工卫生间
She's in the employee bathroom.
是的 你进来的时候她看到你了
Yeah. She saw you on your way in.
她觉得你很帅 但是她太紧张了
She thinks you're handsome, but she's so nervous
所以 她急需去卫生间
that... she's had a bathroom emergency.
而且她很漂亮 有大概 一百颗牙齿
And she's gorgeous. She has, like, a hundred teeth.
我们之前不告诉你是因为
And we didn't tell you this before because...
因为她不想我们说 她觉得太难为情了
Because she didn't want us to. She's embarrassed.
但是我们为什么要听她的呢
But why are you being so loyal to her?
我们是你的好朋友
We're your best friends.
没错 最好的朋友
Yep, best friends.
所以 某种意义上 你的约会进展很顺利
So, in a way, your date's going really well.
太好了 我要打给我妈 让她知道进展
Great, I'll call mother and update her.
屡试不爽的"你的约会对象在厕所"拖延法
The old "Your date's in the stall" Stall. Love it.
所以 我的约会对象在员工卫生间
So, my date's in the employee bathroom.
我就知道会有一个简单又很好的解释
I knew there was a simple, really good explanation.
我不知道是不是很好
I don't know about really good.
嘘嘘嘘
Bup-bup-bup.
是的 她就是紧张了
Yeah, just an upset stomach.
情人节这种事很常见
Happens all the time on Valentine's.
人们称之为"丘比特的复仇"
They call it Cupid's revenge.
-我受到了冒犯 -可怜的人
- That's offensive. - Poor thing.
不敢相信雨果真的相信了
I can't believe Hugo's buying this.
我敢 他就跟这里的其他人一样
I can, he's like everyone else in here.
太想要过一个完美的情人节了
He's desperate for a perfect Valentine's.
我甚至有点受宠若惊 我让一个女孩
It's flattering in a way.
-紧张到肚子疼了 -你个小万人迷
- I gave a girl diarrhea. - You charmer.
得保持冷静
Got to stay cool.
今年情人节我要拒绝浪漫
I'm steering clear of romance this Valentine's.
也许我应该在用水泼自己的脸之前
Oh, probably should have taken off my glasses
先把眼镜摘下来
before splashing myself.
苔米 不 深呼吸 保持距离
Tammy, no! Take a breath. Take a step back.
好险 反情人节盟友
Whew, that was a close one. Anti-Val pals.
爱情算个屁
Hearts are farts?
爱情不是屁 蒂娜
Hearts aren't farts, Tina.
爱情从来不是屁
Hearts were never farts.
你说什么
What are you saying?
我是说 拒绝浪漫其实就是最浪漫的事
I'm saying trying not to be romantic is really romantic.
现在开始狂欢吧
This is a party now.
你的意思是反"反情人节"吗
You mean anti-Anti-Valentine's?
我们要进房♥间接吻六分钟了
Now, we're gonna go in the closet for six minutes and kiss.
乔丝玲 你听到了吗
Jocelyn, are you hearing this?
-乔丝玲 -怎么了
- Jocelyn! - What?
*她在卫生间 但对你爱不变*
* She's in the can, but she loves her man. *
-非常好 非常好 -的确很好
- Wonderful. Wonderful. - It really is.
今晚就自己吗 水手
So, by yourself tonight, sailor?
-不是就自己 是和我自己 -挺好
- Not by myself. With myself. - Good for you.
还好我不是这种孤独凄惨的人
So glad I'm not that sad, lonely person.
这就是欲望餐厅么 我看是虚晃吧
So this is Urge, huh? More like Purge.
韵压得好
Rhymes.
快消失 吉米 我们很忙
Get lost, Jimmy, we're busy.
对 我现在真的没时间听你讽刺我
Yeah, I really don't have time to be insulted right now
因为我们有这么多客人
because of all the customers we have.
是啊 你让他们像沙丁鱼一样挤在这里
Yeah, you got 'em packed in like sardines.
他们看起来又醉又肿
They look a little drunk and bloated.
不过还不错
You know what, not bad.
看来我还是给你带了点生意
Guess I rubbed off on you a little bit.
-为你骄傲 鲍勃 -什么
- I'm proud of you, Bob. - What?
情人节快乐 伙计 真骄傲
Happy Valentine's Day, pal. : Really proud.
他为你骄傲 感觉如何
He's proud of you. What's that feel like?
我不需要你为我骄傲 吉米
I don't want you to be proud of me, Jimmy.
晚了
Too late.
-我不接受 -你高兴着呢
- I don't accept it. - You love it.
大家去哪了
Where is everybody?
不知道 全在衣橱里吗
I don't know. Are they all in the closet?
该死的情人节
Damn Valentine's Day!
看着我 不管你叫啥
Look at me, whatever your name is.
我叫奥斯丁 我在夏令营认识的苔米
Austin. I know Tammy from camp.
我叫蒂娜 奥斯丁 我们有麻烦了
I'm Tina. Austin, we have a problem.
但听着 虽然只有我们两个没接吻
But listen, just because we're the only ones not kissing
但不意味着咱俩非得亲
doesn't mean we're gonna kiss,
虽然气氛烘到这儿了
even though it's really in the air.
那我们怎么办
So what do we do?
想办法盖过这音乐
Drown out this music somehow.
我知道了 咱们唱
I know, we'll sing
各自能想到最不浪漫的歌♥
the-the most unromantic song we can think of.
-你听过和呕吐有关的歌♥吗 -还真没有
- Do you know any songs about barf? - I mean, no.
那我随便编一个
I'll just make one up.
*呕吐物 呕吐物*
* Barf, barf, barf *
*时尚又奢华的呕吐物*
* Funky, chunky barf *
*时尚又奢华的呕吐物*
* Funky, chunky barf *
*在我的头发里*
* It's in my hair *
*到处都是 但我不在乎*
* And everywhere, and I don't care. *
快跑 奥斯丁 快跑
Run, Austin, run!
咱们得赶快离开
We got to get out of here.
这儿到底有多少个衣橱
How many closets does this place have?
是啊 他们太多东西要放了
I know. So much storage.
好了 咱们又来了四桌
Okay, we seated four new tables.
-我要累垮了 -我也是
- I'm kind of beat. - Me, too.
泰迪 你看到你的帐单了 对吧
Teddy, you, you saw your check there, right?
看到了 我看看
Oh, right, let me...
今晚有些贵
Yeah, it's a little higher tonight.
没关系 我的钱不花在这儿要花在哪儿呢
It's fine. What else am I gonna blow my money on?
房♥费么 还是心脏病药
Rent? Heart medicine?
所以我们只要能拖住雨果
So, as long as we can keep stalling Hugo,
就能一直进行下去
I guess we keep going.
撒点小谎没关系对吧
And it's fine that we're lying
-他自己早晚会察觉到的吧 -当然
- and he's gonna find out at some point, right? - Sure.
吉米·派丝多为我骄傲也没什么大不了
And it's fine that Jimmy Pesto is proud of me.
要是最后酒都喝光了
And, hey, if there's no wine left for our valentines,
或者我们完全过不了自己的情人节了
or if we don't get to 'em at all,
总是有来年的 对吧
there's always next year, right?
重要的是我们最终会过的
The important thing is, we were gonna do 'em.
-是的 -对 因为值得
- Right. - Right. Because this was worth it.
太值了
So worth it.
必须的 太值了
Hell yeah, it was worth it.
嘿 兄弟
Whoa, whoa, whoa, buddy,
你站起来干什么
what's with all the standing up stuff?
已经好一会儿了
It's been a while.
我想看看谢里尔有啥事没
I just want to make sure Cheryl's doing okay.
不要 女孩子们
No, no, no, no, girls hate it
最讨厌你们去确认这种事了
when you make sure they're doing okay.
-他动起来了 -雨果 等等
- He's on the move. - Hugo, wait, wait.
-不不不 雨果 -绊他 扎他
- No, no, no, no. Hugo. - Trip him. Stab him.
谢里尔 是我雨果 你还好吗
Cheryl, it's Hugo. Are you all right?
她很害羞 给她一点空间
She's shy. Give her some room.
你说得对
You're right, you're right.
我真是太粘人了 我这就回去
Clingy me. I'll go back.
那个卫生间有人
Someone's in the other bathroom
我等不及上楼了
and I can't make it upstairs
就在这解决了啊
so I need to get in there now.
但是我女友在里面
But my date is in there.
你穿着尿布呢 吉恩 要不你就
And you are wearing a diaper, Gene, so why don't you...
-抱歉抱歉抱歉 -什么
- Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. - Wha...
天哪 她把自己从马桶冲下去了
Oh, my God, she flushed herself down the toilet!
要不我们等吉恩离开之后 检查一下
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