开心汉堡店
Bob's Burgers S11E14
Part 1
May 24, 2021, 3:41 p.m.
《开心汉堡店》第十一季第十四集
跳蚤之歌♥
除虫害公♥司♥
快瞧这个
Hey, check this out!
还挺酷的 在我看来
That's... great. I think.
你是患上了超级好玩的疝气吗
Do you have a super fun hernia?
这叫肚皮翻滚
It's a belly roll.
和肚皮舞差不多
Like belly dancers do.
于是我又多了一项职业选择 帮我记下来
So put that down as another career option for me.
妈妈 你都没在看
Mom, you're not looking.
抱歉亲爱的 我正在找手♥机♥
Sorry, honey. I'm trying to find my phone.
你有没有去洗手间找
Did you look in the bathroom?
你一般都会把它带进去
You usually bring it in there.
不在那里 我已经找过了
It's not there. I already looked.
我只能不看手♥机♥拉屎
I had to poop without it.
我只好去读洗发水瓶子背面的说明
I read the back of the shampoo bottle,
就像以前那样
like in the old days.
本人并未遗失的手♥机♥刚收到一条信息
Oh. Not to brag, but I just got a text on my phone.
没有炫耀的意思
That I didn't lose.
泰迪一会儿要过来
Teddy's coming over.
他要帮我把抽油烟机拆下来
He's gonna help me take down the vent hood,
然后我们要去取新买♥♥的机器
and then we're gonna go pick up the new one.
你的生活可真丰富
I love your life.
我很快就回来 得赶上中午开张
I'll be back soon so we can open for lunch.
好的 那时候我们也该从鞋店回来了
Okay. We should be back from the shoe store by then, too.
某人要喜提新运动鞋了
And someone will have her new sneakers.
-是我哦 -瞧瞧这暴露在外的小脚趾
- It's me! - Look at her poor toe poking out.
她的鞋子正在经历青春期
She's going through shoe-berty.
打个招呼
Say hi.
-你好 -老爸呢
- Hi! - Dad?
你好呀
Oh. Hi?
近来怎么样
How are you?
我挺好的
I... I'm fine.
老妈
You know what, Mom,
我还是不去鞋店了吧
I'm gonna have to pass on the shoe store.
我们只会在打折区买♥♥东西
We only shop in the sales racks,
那里简直是全世界最凄凉的地方
and they're the saddest place in the whole world.
那么多配不成对的鞋子
All those mismatched shoes
从地上仰头看着你
staring up at you from the floor.
有次我在鞋里发现了带血的创可贴
One time, I found a bloody Band-Aid in one of the shoes.
妈妈还把那双鞋买♥♥下来了
Mom bought that pair.
那创可贴上没多少血
The Band-Aid wasn't that bloody.
爸爸 我能跟你和泰迪一起去吗
Dad, can I please go with you and Teddy?
当然 你想坐车去取抽油烟机吗
Sure. You want to go pick up a new hood for a grill?
原来你们真是要去干这个
Oh, you're seriously doing that?
但还是比减价区购物要好
Still better than the sale racks.
那我应该跟妈妈还是爸爸走
Should I go with Mom or with Dad?
真实还原《克莱默夫妇》电影
It's a real Kramer vs. Kramer.
我原以为那是《宋飞传》某集的名字
Which I think was a Seinfeld episode.
你得选个人 不能让你自己待在家里
Well, pick someone, 'cause you're not staying here alone.
并不是因为不想让你
And not because I don't want you
找到妈妈的专属饼干
to find Mommy's special crackers
当然我实际上并没有这种东西
that I don't really have.
忘掉我说过的话吧
Forget I said anything.
自己吗 吉恩不能自己待在任何地方
Alone? Gene can't be anywhere by himself.
抱歉 你是什么意思
I beg your pardon?
我们玩捉迷藏的时候
You still make Mom hide with you
你还要跟妈妈一起藏
when we play hide-and-seek.
而且你讨厌自己刷牙
And you hate brushing your teeth by yourself.
所以我们才要一起刷牙
That's why we do it together.
我们是最高法♥院♥刷牙官嘛
We're the Supreme Court Brush-tices!
而且你每天早上都在我们屋里穿衣服
And you get dressed in our room every morning,
即使我们那时还在睡
even if we're still asleep.
我在你们屋换衣服是因为肯有时会
I change in your room because sometimes Ken uses my room
在我房♥间上晨间瑜伽课 他帮人代课
for his sunrise yoga class that he substitute-teaches.
我喜欢瑜伽肯 他好灵活
I like Yoga Ken. So flexible.
-肯不是真实的 -如果肯不是真的
- Ken's not real. - If Ken's not real,
那我昨晚怎么会和他视频了两小时
then how did we FaceTime for two hours last night?
行吧 我要下楼去见泰迪了
Okay. I'm going down to meet Teddy.
-等等我 -我就在这里继续练习这个
- Wait for me. - 'll stay here and do more of this.
你个破手♥机♥到底哪儿去了
Where are you, you stupid, stupid, stupid phone?!
要不试着对它友好点
Maybe try talking a little nicer to it?
我就随口一说
Just a thought.
很好 快了
Okay. We're getting there.
-稳住 -好的
- Keep holding it. - Got it.
真的很感谢你来帮忙 泰迪
Thanks again for helping out with this, Teddy.
太客气了 鲍鲍
No prob, Bobby.
这儿是我最想待的地方
There's nowhere I'd rather be.
我堂弟的婚礼都比不上
Not even my cousin's wedding today.
什么 泰迪 你不用这样的
Wait, what? Teddy, you didn't have to do this.
没事 不过是我妈她弟的儿子
It's fine. It's just my mother's brother's son.
觉得自己找到了真爱 很得意的样子
So cocky 'cause he found true love.
总之 今天的重点是你
Anyway, today's about you.
新抽油烟机 新的生活
New hood, new life.
激动人心啊
Pretty exciting.
对我们来说是新的
Well, new to us.
我是从网站留言板上
It's from a guy on a message board
一个卖♥♥翻新机的家伙手上买♥♥的
who's selling a refurbished one.
比买♥♥个全新的油烟机便宜多了
It's way less expensive than a new hood.
哦 所以你又买♥♥了个二手油烟机
Oh. So you're buying another old hood.
不是二手的 是翻新机
Well, it's not old-- it's refurbished.
就是二手更好听的说法而已
That's a fancy word for "Old."
你是在网站留言板上找的这个人吗
So, you found this guy on a message board, huh?
是啊 你为什么这么问
Y-Yeah. Why are you saying it like that?
就是...在网上发广♥告♥的人
It's just... don't people who post ads on the Internet
不都是变♥态♥杀人狂吗
turn out to be, you know, psycho murderers?
也有人只是想卖♥♥你一个单杠
Some people just want to sell you a pull-up bar,
然后成为你的朋友 搬到你家来住一阵
then be your friend and move in with you for a while.
我确定这个人没有问题
I'm pretty sure this guy's legit.
他卖♥♥很多翻新的设备
He sells a lot of refurbished appliances.
二手货
Old appliances.
再说了 变♥态♥的不应该是买♥♥家吗
Besides, wouldn't it be the buyer who's the psycho,
而不是告诉你地址的卖♥♥家
not the seller who gives you their address
而且还不怕你会去他们家
and trusts you to come to their home?
但是如果他们家有地牢呢
Yeah, but what if their home turns out to be a dungeon?
是啊 如果他们家有地牢呢
Oh, yeah. What if their home turns out to be a dungeon?
好了 要是他们家有地牢
Okay, guys, if their home is a dungeon,
我们就不买♥♥罩子
we won't buy the hood.
因为我们就死在地牢里了
'Cause we'll be getting murdered in the dungeon.
那我会非常想念你们的
I'm gonna miss you guys so much.
但是 泰迪 你会和我们一起
But, Teddy, you'd be with us.
我们是一起去
We'd be together.
不 我会逃走
No, I'd get away.
然后我会想念你们的
Then I'd miss you so much.
如果你逃走了
Well, if you get away,
就可以报♥警♥
you can call the police.
然后我们就得救了
Then you can save us.
可能警♥察♥还没赶到那家伙就把你们杀了
The guy'd probably kill you before the police get there.
但我可以试试
But I could try.
-多谢了 泰迪 -嘿 泰迪
- Thanks, Teddy. - Hey! Teddy!
你还没见过我的新技能呢 走运的家伙
You haven't seen my cool new trick yet, you lucky man.
真有趣 吉恩
Oh, that's fun, Gene.
好像吃了水床进肚子一样
It's like you swallowed a water bed.
为什么我身上会有水珠
Why are flecks of moisture hitting me?
吉恩 我们现在有点忙
Gene, we're... kind of busy at the moment.
切
Oh, boo.
-准备好了吗 鲍勃 -好了
- Okay. R-Ready, Bob? - Yeah.
-天哪 -你说你准备好了
- Oh, God. - You said you were ready!
我是说了 但我身子虚
I know, I did, I'm just... not strong.
你是挺虚的 无意冒犯
No, you are not. No offense.
没往心里去
None taken.
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