我手放背后玩
Fine, I'll do it behind my back.
所有人站拢一点 说茄子
Okay, everyone squish in and say "Ravioli."
茄子
Ravioli.
-好了 -那啥
- Got it. - You know what?
能不能帮我们多照几张
Could you just take a few more
-这样保险点 -好吧
- just for safety? - Okay.
好了 眼睛都睁着呢吧
All right, everyone's eyes open?
鲍勃 你还在冒热气吗
Bob, you still steamy?
等等 我还在说话 可以重拍一张吗
Wait, I was talking. Can you take it again?
虽然没啥关系
You know, I know it doesn't really matter,
但可以劳烦你笑着拍照吗
but can you smile while you take it?
这样小孩们也能跟着你笑
I think we'll get a better smile out of the kids.
可以吧 你的表情有点太严肃了
Right? Your face is kind of tight.
-谢谢啦 -好了
- Okay, thank you! - All right.
完事儿了 我们走吧
We're done. Let's go.
-太难看了 -什么
- Oh, they're awful. - What?
糟糕 都糟透了
Bad. They're all bad.
背光 背光 全背光
Shadow. Shadow. they're all in shadow.
这张吉恩完全背过去了
And Gene's completely turned around in this one.
-我想走了 -要不我们就做成剪影吧
- I had to go. - Maybe silhouette could be our thing?
别人看不见我们的脸 不知道我们是谁
Like, you can't see our faces. Who are we?
走神秘路线
Like, a-a mystery card.
这张里有她的手指
Oh, her stupid thumb's in this one.
你们以后还是就徒你们的步吧
Stick to hiking, sweetie.
所以现在是要等别的徒步者吗
Okay, so, I guess we wait for another hiker to come along?
也许会是安妮·莱博维茨
Maybe it'll be Annie Leibovitz.
纽约摄影中心终身成就奖获得者
我有个更好的主意
I have a better idea.
我们用老爸的内♥裤♥做个三角翼
We make a hang glider out of Dad's underwear,
滑翔去停车场
and we glide down to the parking lot
-然后回家 -听起来不错
- and go home. - That sounds nice.
我把倒计时设好了
Oh, I got the timer working!
不需要愚蠢的徒步者了
We don't need any more dumb hikers!
我们换个地方站
And we're switching locations.
太阳照向这边
The sun's facing that way.
你们站在那里
You people stand there.
我把相机放在这块平整的石头上
I'm putting the camera here on this nice rock.
你好 石头 感谢你在这里
Hello, rock. Thank you for being here.
孩子们 我们马上就会拍出完美的
Kids, you'll be back in your jammies before you can say,
圣诞贺卡照 然后你们就能回家睡觉了
"Oh, my God, what a great Christmas card."
好吧 但我感觉已耗尽了所有气力
Okay, but I'm pretty sure I used up all my fierceness.
等等 我找到一点剩的
Wait, I found a little more.
来了来了 就是现在
Oh, this is it! This is the moment.
大家微笑 求求你们笑
Smile, people. Smile, please.
我今后都不会再要求你们什么了
I'll never ask for anything again.
-等等 我的帽子 -等等 我的这个
- Wait, my hat. - Wait, my this.
-吉恩 -鲍勃 鲍勃 快微笑
- Gene. - Bob! Bob, smile.
各位 你们都没在笑
Everyone, you're not smiling!
-不好意思 -太棒了 老爸
- Oh, whoops. - Yay, Dad!
好了 好了
Okay. Okay.
好吧
Okay.
不会吧 有那么糟吗
Oh, no. Is it that bad?
-是因为蒂娜的帽子吗 -别啊 不是吧
- Is it Tina's hat? - No! Oh, God, no.
这个 这个实在
It's... it's...
-怎么样 -太完美了
- Yeah? - It's perfect.
比完美还好
It's more than perfect.
这就是我想到你们时
It's-it's the picture I have in my head
脑中浮现的画面
when I think of you guys.
这就是双屁的魔力
It's that double fart magic.
-也就是说 -我们完成任务了吗
- So does that mean... - We got it?
完成了
We got it!
-谢天谢地 -太棒了
- Oh, thank God. - Oh, yeah!
第一个到车那儿的人可以开车
First one to the car gets to drive.
好吧
Okay.
谢谢大家
Oh, thanks, everyone.
我知道今天大家都很累 我们家
I know it was a long day and exercise is very difficult
非常不擅长运动 但这真的
and awkward for this family, but this is really...
不
No... !
抓住了 我抓住相机了
Got it! I got it. I got the camera.
谢天谢地
Thank God.
好险 我把它拿出来
Oh, that was close. Okay, I'm pullin' it out.
-不是吧 -怎么了
- Oh. Oh, no. - What, "Oh, no"?
我的手拿着相机就穿不过这个洞了
The hole's not wide enough for my hand and the camera.
你这话什么意思
Wh-What are you talking about?
不放开相机我就无法把胳膊拿出来
I can't get my arm out without lettin' go of the camera,
如果我放开相机
and if I let go of the camera...
是的 那就太糟了
Yeah, that would be bad.
我该吹一曲悲伤的布鲁斯吗
Should I play a mournful blues?
-不了吧 -要吹的
- Probably not. - I should.
好吧 好吧 也许我们可以
Okay, okay, maybe we can...
不 妈妈的胳膊不能那样转
No. Mommy's elbow doesn't go that way.
我想不到能拿到相机的方法
I can't see any way to get the camera.
从任何角度都没法够到
I can't reach it from any angle.
如果我们有只受过训练的鸟就好了
Maybe if we had a trained bird?
你现在想要只受过训练的鸟了
Oh, now you want a trained bird.
圣诞节前你还说什么"我们没法养鸟"
Before Christmas it's all, "We can't get a trained bird."
也许我们可以试着训练那只松鼠
Maybe we could try to train that squirrel?
你好呀 它走了
Hi... Oh, he's gone.
那么 我说我们把相机丢下去
Okay, what if we drop the camera...
等等 听我说完 然后放弃拍照这件事
Wait, hear me out... And not do this anymore?
他喜欢这个主意 他也喜欢
He likes it. He likes it.
她皱着眉头
She's frowning.
琳 也许我们应该考虑
Lin, at some point we might have to consider
和相机说再见了
saying goodbye to the camera.
不 绝不
No. Never.
我们家拍过的最完美照片就在这相机里
The best picture our family has ever taken is on this thing.
你没有看到 但我看到了
You didn't see it. I saw it!
一张...童话般的照片
It was like a... A fairy tale,
但...存在于现实生活
but in... but in real life.
但我们可能并不需要
But maybe we don't need
在圣诞贺卡上加一张照片
a picture on the Christmas card.
就写一些祝福的话就好了
Just some nice words?
我已经准备好画气泡字啦
I'm ready with the bubble letters.
蒂娜 我喜欢你的气泡字
Oh, Tina, I love your bubble letters,
但这是世界上最糟糕的想法
but that's the worst idea anyone's ever had.
让我试试
Okay, let me try something.
妈妈 能再教我怎么吃整个的玉米吗
Hey, Mom, can you show me how to eat corn on the cob again?
我忘记了 需要你教一下
I forget how and I need to know.
学校里要用 玉米学校
For school. Corn school.
我不会再中这种圈套
I'm not fallin' for the old
"我怎么吃整个的玉米" 谁会知道这个啊
"How do I eat corn on the cob" trick. Who even knows.
-可恶 她不上当 -我来试试吧
- Damn, she's good. - Maybe I try something.
妈妈 九后面是哪个数字
Hey, Mom, what number comes after nine?
-什么 十 -对了 但是
- What? Ten. - Right, but,
用手指表示下十吧
show me on your fingers how many ten is.
玉米学校要用 可恶
For, corn school. Crap.
-没用 -妈妈 我需要一个双手的拥抱
- Nope. - Mom, I need a hug. A two-armer.
吉恩 拥抱你老爸
Gene. Hug your father.
好吧 爸爸 我们拥抱吧
All right, Dad, let's do this.
*推岩石 推岩石*
* Pushin' the rocks, pushin' the rocks *
*又推又拉 推不动*
* Pushin' and pullin' and pushin' the rocks *
*踢岩石 踢不动*
* Kickin' the rocks, lookin' good *
*做个网 又散架*
* Makin' nets that fall apart. *
我的胳膊酸了
Oh, oh, my hand's gettin' so tired.
-不是吧 -它想回家睡一小觉吗
- Oh, no. - Does it want to go home and take a nap?
给 妈妈 你可以把我的帽子垫在胳膊下
Here, Mom, you can use my hat to cushion your arm.
帮帮忙
Little help?
谢谢 蒂娜
thanks, Tina.
这绒球非常舒服
That pom-pom feels nice.
孩子们 吃点零食好好享受吧
Kids, have snacks and enjoy the day.
太棒了 吃零食啦
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