工作狂（2011）
Workaholics S02E10
Part 1
June 28, 2021, 1:31 p.m.
嗨 你们好
Hi. Hello.
我是Blake Chesterfield Henderson
I'm Blake Chesterfield Henderson,
这是我的感恩节视频
and this is my Thanksgiving video.
假期对我来说一直有点难熬
Holidays are always a little tough for me.
和许多美国小孩一样
Like many children in America
我来自一个破碎的家庭
I'm from a broken home.
但是
But
我觉得 今年的火鸡节会有所不同
I think this turkey day's gonna be a little different
因为
because...
我要去Hedonism度假村了 乡亲们
I'm going to Hedonism II, y'all!
没错 就是牙买♥♥加首选打炮度假胜地
Yeah! Jamaica's premiere sex resort.
四天三夜
Four days, three nights.
我们一定会
And we are just gonna...
哦 哦哦 哦
Oh! Oh oh oh!
啊哦哦恩哦啊
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh!
秒杀你们这些渣渣
Tag 'em and bag 'em!
我太激动了
I'm so excited.
我要跟我真正的家人一起去 Adam和Ders
And I'm going with with my real family, Adam and Ders.
我们会爽翻天 沙滩
We're gonna have a blast. There's beaches,
性感美女 还有
there's babes. And there is also...
一个叫Pastafari的小餐馆
A little restaurant called Pastafari.
融合牙买♥♥加风味的意大利美食
Italian food with a Jamaican fusion.
上帝 太棒了
Jah, please.
我们去看看他们怎么样了 我太激动了哇
Let's go check on the guys... I'm so excited!
看 他在这里
Oh! There he is.
Anders 对着镜头打个招呼
Anders. Say what's up to the camera.
呃 Ders 谁是Ders
Uh, Ders? Who's Ders?
爷现在是Buddy Ferrera
My name's Buddy Ferrera.
你决定把季后赛留的胡子刮了吗
You decided to shave the playoff beard off.
是这样的
Well, here's the deal. You see,
Anders Holmvik 他不能去Hedonism度假村
Anders Holmvik, he can't go to Hedonism II.
他将来是要去竞选市议员的
You know, he's gonna run for city councilman someday.
但是Buddy Ferrera
But Buddy Ferrera,
他是个留着山羊胡
well, he's a goatee-sportin',
寻欢作乐的怪喵喵
Good-time havin' freaky cat
Adam 你好啊
Oh, hey, what's up, Adam?
你真是十足的肌肉男 哥们
You are lookin' straight jacked, dude.
我去 兄弟 - 真不错
Dang, homie! - Nice!
我不能去Hedonism了
I can't go to Hedonism.
我享受不到了 我约不到炮的
I'm not gonna have a good time. I won't get laid.
为什么 - 为什么这么说
Why? - Why is that?
因为我鸡鸡整个儿掉啦
Because my dick fell all over!
逗你们的 我把它塞到后面了
Oh! Just kidding. I tucked it back.
疼死我啦
It actually hurts a lot.
我鸡鸡在后面呢
My dick's back here, though.
嘿 你们要装防晒霜的吧
Hey, you guys are packin' sunscreen, right?
那里可是夏天哦
Remember, this is their summer.
才不要呢 我要晒成碧昂斯那样
No way, dude. I'm trying to get Beyonce dark!
太阳很危险哦
Sun is straight danger!
别担心 我带了美黑乳液
Don't worry, dude. I got the self tanner.
挺不错的 Linda Hogan代言的
It's good too. Linda Hogan endorses it.
谁看见我的凉鞋了
Hey, has anybody seen my Tevas?
我真的很需要啊
I really need my Tevas.
兄弟们 记好了
Hey, fellas, please remember.
我给咱们预约了晚餐
I got us dinner reservations.
在Pastafari吃感恩节大餐
Thanksgiving dinner at Pastafari,
所以呢 好好挑一套衣服
so pack a fancy outfit.
我准备了休闲西装 不♥穿♥衬衫
I've got a blazer, no shirt.
目前是这个打算
That's what I'm thinking.
Ders 你算是潮男吧
Bud, Ders, you're kinda GQ.
领带要不要配奶头啊
Should the tie match my nipples?
我找到我的凉鞋咯
Guys, I found my Tevas.
跟你们说一下
Just so you know,
我十分激动能结束11个月的饥渴生活了
I'm really excited to end my 11-month dry spell,
但是我们肯定会
but we're definitely gonna
看到什么光腚纵菊之类的
be seen each other butt naked humping and stuff.
我希望大家能做好心里准备 - 必须的
I just hope we're ready for that. - Oh, yeah. Buddy's a go.
Blakester的玉箫就等佳人来吹了
Blakester is ready to get his knob gobbled.
来吧
All right!
一起狂拽炫酷屌♥炸天 一起狂拽炫酷屌♥炸天
Let's get weird! Let's get weird!
每个人都拿着机票了对吧
Okay, everyone has their plane ticket, right?
恩 我以为要唱"一起狂拽炫酷屌♥炸天"呢
Yeah, I thought we were chanting "Let's get weird."
机票在手
Good to go!
泳衣呢
Okay, bathing suits?
带了
Check!
我才不要穿泳衣呢
I will not be wearing a bathing suit.
我不带
So, no.
护照呢
And, uh, passports.
没问题
Oh, yeah!
神马
Huh?
我把表格打印出来 还帮你填了
I printed out the forms, I even filled them out for you!
你要做的就是签个字 再寄出去
All you had to do was sign it and mail it.
你想解释一下怎么回事吗
You want to tell me what the hell happened?
Ders 你想知道什么情况吗
You want to know what happened, Ders?
我把那些忘得一干二净
I forgot all of that stuff, Ders!
我以为牙买♥♥加是美国的一部分
And I thought that Jamaica was part of the U.S.
我不需要护照的
I didn't think I needed a passport!
你说的那是巴哈马 呆瓜
That's the Bahamas, you buffoon.
好了 我现在清楚了
Okay, now I know.
你需要一个护照 知道吗
You're gonna need a passport, okay?
就我们两个人 我们才不去呢
We're not gonna go. Just the two of us?
是啊 两个大老爷们去Hedonism
Yeah, two guys going to Hedonism?
这不是我说的那种屌♥炸天 好吗
That's not the kind of weird I'm talking about, okay?
我要的是一种非常
I'm going for a very,
非常独特的屌♥炸天
very specific type of weird here.
量乳定做的屌♥炸天
Niche weird!
再说了 你是唯一会说牙买♥♥加语的人
Plus you're the only one that knows how to speak Jamaican.
同志们 我们的航♥班♥还有6小时就起飞了
Guys, our flight leaves in six hours.
不可能在那之前拿到护照的
There's no way we can get a passport by then.
我们是不能 但是我知道一个人
We can't, but I know one man...
一个男巫 他能
One life wizard... who can.
吼吼
Man.
你们好啊 兄弟们
Hey, what's up, brah-gers? What's up?
你这是对强♥奸♥面包车干啥呢 伙计
Ooh, what are you doin' to the rape van, bud?
你们来看
Oh, check it out.
如果有人把葡萄扔了
When they throw the grapes out, right,
我就把它们捡起来放在箱子里
I grab 'em, throw 'em in these crates,
拿到农贸市场 转卖♥♥了
take 'em to the farmers market, and resell 'em.
所以我现在弄成了葡萄面包车
So I got me a grape van now.
你说的好有道理我竟然无言以对
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
它们不是有机的吧
So they're... they're not organic.
不 那是我自己写的 - 真聪明
No. I wrote that. - Genius move.
我很欣慰
I'm just glad to see
你不再是个毒贩子了 真的
you're not a drug dealer anymore, to be honest.
Anders 你好好想一想
Well, when you really think about it, Anders,
我们不都是毒贩子吗
are we not all drug dealers... Brah?
不是 - 是的哇
No. - Yeah, wow.
话说清楚 我还是毒贩子
Just so we're clear, I do still deal drugs.
谢天谢地啊 - 真好
Oh. Thank God. - Whew!
真棒 - 行业领头羊
Whoo! - Best in the business.
你知道我很喜欢闲聊的
You know, I'd love to chitchat,
但是我们还有6小时就要去Hedonism了
but we've got six hours to get to Hedonism II.
我还没有护照 所以我需要你帮忙
And I don't have a passport, so I need your help, bud.
抱歉 但是从大学起 我就不在护照界混了
Oh, I'm sorry, but I've been out of the passport game since college.
够了啊 你就没上过大学
Uh, red flag. You didn't go to college.
我的车在大学外面停了三个半学期
Well, I parked my van outside of a college for three and a half semesters.
好吧 但是你肯定有 那种狐朋狗友
Okay, no, but you have to have some, like, scumbag friends
能帮我一把的
who can hook me up.
拜托了 我现在是"绝望主夫"了
Come on, I am desperate house dude at this moment, dude.
额 Dale和Betsy
Ah... Dale and Betsy.
工作狂（2011）
Workaholics
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