工作狂（2011）
Workaholics S02E06
Part 2
June 28, 2021, 1:30 p.m.
噢 - 老天
Oh! - Jeez.
宝贝 我们听不到你说话啊宝贝
Babe, we can't hear you, babe.
你说啥呢 - 我们听不到你
We can't hear you. - We can't hear you, though.
什么
What?
我们听不到你说话
We can't hear you.
我也听不到你们
I couldn't hear you guys either.
我刚才想说
But what was I saying was
我还觉得我能指望你们几个家伙 看来不行
I thought I could count on you boys, but nope,
你们非要往转椅上摆个充气娃娃
you have to go fool me
拿这一套来捉弄我
with the sex dummy in the swivel chair routine.
用个没脑子的来糊弄个没脑子的岂不正好 你个呆子
It takes a dummy to fool a dummy, dummy!
呵呵 至少我没找个塑料婊♥子♥来骑 你们这帮变♥态♥
Well, at least I'm not pumping a plastic bitch, you pervs.
够了 - 真恶心
Okay. - Gross!
她不是个婊♥子♥ 她是个真人模型
She's not a bitch, she's a real doll.
而且她是我的朋友
She's a real friend to me.
抱歉 我不知道她是你的朋友
I'm sorry, I didn't know she was your friend.
Blake 我记得我让你扔掉那玩意的
Blake, I thought I told you to get rid of that thing.
那就是个细菌滋生的温床
It's a breeding ground for bacteria.
是吗
Is it?
别唠叨个没完 Ders 我洗过她
Get off my back about it, Ders, I washed her.
你洗过 什么时候洗的 多少天
You did.. like when... how many days...
多少天之前洗的
did you... ago did wash it?
呃
Yeah, no.
我就是把她扔进洗碗机
I just threw her in the dishwasher,
然后调到那种擦洗大锅的模式
put it on, like, the heavy pot scrubbing mode.
得了 真够恶心的
Okay. That's disgusting.
光是想想我就发痒
I'm like itching already just thinking about it.
Ders 她不是个性♥爱♥玩偶
Ders, she's not a sex doll
因为我们没人和她做过爱
because none of us are having sex with it.
做♥爱♥是个比较相对的说法 就好像说 什么是做♥爱♥ 之类的
Sex is a pretty relative term, like, what is sex, you know.
你们仨 能不能树立个好的榜样
Guys, can you please set a good example
回去工作吧 拜托了
and go back to work, please?
我讨厌指使别人
I hate telling people what to do.
弄得我很焦虑 还会出一身汗
It makes me anxious and I get all sweaty
身体也会有反应
and then I get all body conscious.
有多严重 有多严重
How bad is it? How bad is it?
从一到湿透 在哪个等级
Scale of one to soaked.
不太妙
Not good.
伙计们 不要
Guys, no.
别在办公室里这样做
Not in the office.
一点也不优雅 嘿
It's not classy. Hey!
都回去 够了
Get back...Okay.
谁干的
Who did that?
土包子
Hillbillies.
哇 哇 哇
Well, well, well.
够了
All right.
都听好了 你们这帮拿着底薪的人♥渣♥
Listen up, you minimum-waged lowlifes!
都围过来看看这出畸形秀
Gather round to see the freak show.
Alice收到了高层发来的邮件
So Alice got an email from corporate
上面说她在这周应该炒掉四个人
that says that she's supposed to fire four people this week
因为他们最近的表现太烂
due to their recent performance.
什么
What?
你没听错
That's right.
你们这些人中有四个要被辞退了
Four of you are getting the chop.
所以如果你想保住你的工作
So if you wanna keep your jobs,
你就应该老老实实地穿上那些睡衣
you might wanna go get on those pajamas.
首先 你不能说炒人就炒人 Jillian
First of all, you can't just be firing people, Jillian.
你可不是老板
You ain't even the boss.
啊哦
Uh-oh.
你是疯了吗
Are you out of your mind?
你要去哪
Where are you going?
你要去哪 Jillian
Where are you going, Jillian?
Jillian 别在我面前关门 你这女人
Jillian, don't be closing the door in my face, woman!
糟了 糟了 糟了
Shoot, shoot, shoot.
天哪
Oh, God.
哦 我都干了什么啊
Oh, what have I done?
开门 - 哦 快停下
Come on. - Oh, stop it!
没事
It's fine.
每件事都在我的掌控之中
I got everything under control.
真的吗 这叫都在掌控之中吗
Really? Everything's under control?
Jet Set在这用大拇指捅菊花呢
Jet Set's up here shoving thumbs up butts.
Jet Set 快停下
Jet Set, stop it!
让蓝爸爸进来
Let these Papa Smurfs in.
我们来帮你解决问题
We'll put some red pants on this situation.
呃 既然你都这么说了
Well, when you put it like that...
那就进来吧
Come on.
嗷 谁干的
Ow. Who did that?
帮我一下
Help.
不要 - 嗷
No. - Ow.
小心啊
Careful.
让我过去 让我过去
Excuse me, excuse me.
停手 你个禽兽 - 嘿
Stop, you monster. - Hey!
刚才那是毫无缘由的暴♥力♥
That was just violent for no reason.
简直是全面侵犯 人家感觉 被亵渎了
That was full penetration. I feel... violated.
我都不知道发生了什么 真心的
I didn't know what happened, really.
我就是想让他们尊重我 然后他们就暴走了
I just...I wanted them to respect me and then they went crazy.
更糟的是 我找不到我的三明治了
And to make matters worse, I can't find my uncrustables
我的菊花还一直出汗 好像出汗能挣钱似的
and my butthole is sweating like it's getting paid to.
恶 这样吧 就这么办吧
Okay. All right. Here's the deal.
我们需要尽快让人们平静下来 对吧
We need to go calm the herd ASAP, right?
我们要怎样做到这一点呢
How are we gonna do that?
我们去告诉那些要被炒的人
We're gonna go tell the people that are fired
他们被炒了
that they're fired.
像Donald Trump一样跟这帮呆子说
Donald Trump these fools.
你被解雇了
You're terminated!
当他们知道哪些人被解雇后 人们就会放松下来
Once they hear that news, everybody will relax,
然后就会回去工作 我们的问题就解决了
they'll go back to work, we'll be good to glow.
被我解雇的人会恨我的
People are gonna hate me if I fire them.
没那么难啦
It's not that hard.
把名单给我
I mean give me the list,
我立马去把这些家伙"辛德勒"了
and I'll Schindler those fools right now.
不不不 你这样说可真不太好
Nah. I don't think you want to say that, actually.
这话太不得体了
That so inappropriate.
我从来没看过那部电影
I never saw the movie.
绝对催人泪下
It's a tearjerker.
摩根·弗里曼 杰克·尼科尔森
Morgan Freeman, Jack Nicholson.
在他们死前 有一整个名单需要
They have a whole list that they need to Schindler
被"辛德勒"掉 - 对 没错
before they die. - Yes. Right.
你说的那是<遗愿清单>
That's Bucket List.
呃 高层还没有说到底要炒掉谁
Okay, guys, corporate hasn't even sent me the names yet.
而且
And besides that,
我之前也被炒过很多次
I've been fired from a lot of jobs before...
够了 你知道吗
All right. You know what?
这就是为什么应该由我来负责
This is why I should've been left in charge
那样外边的情况就根本不会发生
'cause all the stuff out there wouldn't be happening right now
因为我生来就是个领袖
'cause I'm a born leader.
对不
All right?
我应该在外面指挥大家
I'd be out there commanding people,
他们会听我的
they'd be listening to me
做我想让他们做的每一件事
and they'd be doing everything I want them to do.
你的脸怎么了
What's the problem with your face?
都赖这连体衣 它弄得我起疹子
It's the onesie. It's giving me hives.
就这些人造羊毛什么的
It's like this synthetic wool or something.
Jillian 我觉得这对你来说是件好事
Jillian, I think this is gonna be good for you.
没错 对你来说可能是个重大突破
Yeah, we might have a major breakthrough.
娘啊 你这 你可真能出汗啊
Damn! You are just like really sweating.
你这腋窝也太能出汗了 - 更糟了吗
Your armpits are unreal. - Are they...They got worse?
有可能会更糟的
They might be.
给她来点新鲜空气吧
How about we get her some fresh air.
嗯 我们只需要想个办法
All right, we just got to figure out
工作狂（2011）
Workaholics
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