工作狂（2011）
Workaholics S02E07
Part 3
June 28, 2021, 1:30 p.m.
Maria 我就是永远都满足不了你 对吗
I've never been enough for you, have I, maria?
我都把你的女儿送到曼哈顿的两居室里了
Even though I put your daughter in a two-bedroom in manhattan!
拉倒吧 你以前说她是我们的女儿
Oh! You used to consider her our daughter.
这就是我为什么不该和意大利人结婚的原因啊
This is why I never should've married an italian.
得了吧 - 别出声
Oh, please. - Shh!
他怎么能那样跟她说话
He can't talk to her like that!
我要上了 别拉我
I gotta do it! No, no. I gotta do this!
你吃了豹子胆了
You got some nerve,
Cal 你怎么敢那样跟意大利女人说话
Talking to an italian woman that way, cal.
Randall
Randall?
你和他搞上了吗
You're fucking randall?
是的 我跟他上♥床♥了
Yes, I'm fucking randall.
知道吗
You know what?
现在我渴望得更多了
I need more right now, cal.
你好 - 嗨
Hello. - Hey.
四个男人 逗我呢
Four guys, maria?
四个男人才能满足你吗
Is that what you need to satisfy you?
我不认识这些人
I don't know who these guys are.
你还想要什么
So what do you need?
你想要我欣赏吗
You need me to watch?
你想让我跟他们一起上你吗
You want me to get in there with those guys,
一起上你吗 - 不是的
You know, get in with it? - No!
你想让我看着你给他们吹♥箫♥吗
You want me to watch you blow them?
我可是做的出来的
'cause I will do that.
别 - 你想让我给他们口吗
No! - You want me to blow them?
不管怎样我都会做的 我会给他们口的
I'll do whatever it takes. I'll blow 'em.
快点 秀出你们的鸡♥巴♥吧
Let's see your dicks. Come on.
呃 - 不用了 不用了
Uh... - I'm good. I'm good.
我在试图挽救我的婚姻
I'm trying to save my marriage!
赶紧把你们的老二都掏出来
Now get your dicks out!
别跑 嘿
Wait. Hey!
把你们的老二给我留下 - Cal
Bring your dicks back here! - Cal!
嘿 Jillian
Hey, jillian.
你得过来接一下我们
Yeah, we need you to come pick us up.
我们被困在这了
We are trapped.
让她在"带走"快餐店停一下
Oh! Have her stop at Togo's,
给我买♥♥个意大利式三明治 多加蛋黄酱
Get me an italian with extra mayonnaise...
靠 我快饿死了 你们却一点都不关心
Wow. I'm starving to death, and no one cares.
妈的 要我说直接跟这哥们干一架得了
Oh, god. I say we just pound this dude.
我最近观赏了好多次流浪汉互殴
I been watching a lot of bum fights lately.
你们踹他蛋蛋 我找个注射器捅他
You kick him in the balls, I'll stab him with a syringe.
大哥 现在不是用蛮力的时候
Dude, it is not about brute strength right now.
人家有法律给撑腰
He's got the law on his side.
我们可是造成了好几千美元的损失
We caused thousands of dollars of damage.
我们不会有加薪了 因为在本该和Alice会面的时候
We're not gonna have raises because we're gonna be in jail
我们却会在监狱里
when we're supposed to be meeting with Alice.
嗯 看来只有一条路能出去了
Well, there's only one way out of here.
我就喜欢这个 - 下水道吗
I like that. - The sewer?
别这样啊 伙计们
What are you doing? Guys.
闻上去跟我爸的浴室似的
Smells like my dad's bathroom.
恶 挺像威利旺卡的巧克力工厂的
Ugh, it's like Willy Wonka
只不过水里面的不是巧克力而是屎
But with poo in the water instead of chocolate.
确实让我想起了威利旺卡
Ugh. It kind of does remind me of Willy Wonka.
我们就在这待着
We'll just stay down here
避过风头就出去 好吧
Till the heat dies down, okay?
酷毙了 不是吗
That was awesome, right?
那裸男大哥
That naked dude?
性♥伴♥侣♥版的Ed Helms啊 那哥们可是有杆"大枪"
Regular Ed Helms, man. That guy was packin' heat.
你指的是John Holmes(AV男星)吧
You mean, uh, John Holmes.
不 是<办公室>里的Ed Helms
No, Ed Helms from the Office.
据称此人有一个 你懂的 "大屌♥"
Supposedly he's got, like, a stellar rig.
真的吗 - 没错
Really? - Yeah.
伙计们
Dudes.
我们现在绝对是忍♥者神龟范儿啊
We are so ninja turtles right now.
确实有点 - 确实有点
We kind of are. - We kind of are.
绝对的 - 我是米开朗基罗
Yeah, definitely. - I'm Michelangelo.
对 你绝对是米开朗基罗
Yeah, you definitely are Michelangelo!
嗨吧 兄弟 - 妥妥的
Party, dude. - Yes.
我是拉斐尔 酷却很粗暴 - 绝对的
I'm Raphael. Cool but rude. - Oh, nailed it.
没错 你粗暴是肯定的
Yep, definitely rude.
那是角色的缺陷 不过我没什么意见
That's a character flaw, but I'll take it, you know?
看上去怎么样
How's it look?
哇哦 你怎么弄的 - 同问
Whoa, how'd you do that? - Yeah.
我用我的"吸血鬼牙"咬的
Oh, I just chewed it with my, uh, vampire teeth.
真的假的 - 真的
Really? - Oh, yeah.
我看看啊
Well, let's see.
我们有了善良的米开朗基罗
So we got our nice Mike over there.
还有粗暴的拉斐尔 - 没错 粗暴的拉斐尔
We got rude Raph. - Yeah, rude Raph.
所以呢
So I guess, uh,
我就是李奥纳多了 额
I'm Leonardo, the... L...
刀哥
Katana dude?
算了吧 你可不行
No. Definitely not.
没错 你才不是李奥纳多
No, you're not Leonardo.
别给自己戴高帽了
Don't compliment yourself so much.
想的美
Nice try, though.
你绝对是多纳泰罗
You're definitely Donatello.
他太像多纳泰罗了
Oh, he's so Donatello!
你绝对是多纳泰罗
Oh, you're so Donatello.
多纳泰罗 一副书呆样
Donatello's, like, a nerd.
然后 他还很煞风景
And like, he... he's like a party pooper.
没错啊 - 基本上嘛
Yeah. - That's basically...
绝对的 百分之百就是你
That's exactly, 100% who you are.
Anders泰罗 就是你
It's Anders-tello. That's you.
对对对 Anders泰罗 - 根本就是他
Oh, yeah. Anders-tello. - You just described him.
非常棒 另外你连个面具都没有
Very good. Plus, you don't even have a mask.
这算哪门子的忍♥者神龟
So how could you be a ninja turtle?
靠 你们也没给我偷一个面具啊
Well, you didn't steal me a mask!
你本可以自己偷一个的 好吗
You could've stole yourself a mask, man.
哇哦 进入角色了 多纳泰罗 扫兴哥
Whoa. Enter Donatello, the bummer dude.
把你的小电脑拿出来玩一会得了 多纳泰罗
Just take your little computer out and play with it, Donatello.
说不定我会的 - 查查维♥基♥百♥科♥什么的
Maybe I will. - Check out some facts.
看 完整的一口百吉饼
Full bagel bite in here.
显然这玩意很难消化啊
They're hard to digest, evidently.
我做不了李奥纳多
I can't be Leonardo,
我还不如裹一身毛
Why don't I just cover my body in hair
然后自称是斯普林特大♥师♥ 咋样 这回你们爽吗
And call myself Splinter, huh? How do you think about that?
爽不爽啊 - 我就知道是你偷的
What do you think, huh? - I knew it!
我都用了好几周了 大哥
I've been using it for weeks, buddy.
用着感觉很好 问着味道更好
It feels great. Smells even better.
我就知道 你的头发闻着特香
I know. Your hair smells delicious,
我注意到了
And I've noticed that.
而且我知道你在用它
And I could tell that you were using it
因为你秃了一块 - 我才没秃
'cause you have a bald spot. - No, I don't.
你见过他秃的那一块吧
You've seen his bald spot.
我就想让我的头发更密更香
I just wanted my hair thicker and smelling better.
你就是个秃子 跟多纳泰罗似的
You're bald, just like Donatello.
忍♥者神龟全是秃的好吗
They're all bald.
不 实际上其他三个是剃光的
No, actually, they all shaved their heads
来支持多纳泰罗对抗癌症
To support him while he was fighting cancer.
那三个家伙真是太贴心了
That's so nice of the other dudes,
在多纳泰罗得癌症时这样支持他
Supporting him while he has cancer...
我要上"谣言粉碎机"揭穿你
You are gettin' snopesed!
快揭穿我 Ders 求求你了 快揭穿我
Oh, snopes me, Ders! Please snopes me.
我一点信♥号♥♥也没有
I get no bars in here.
你的小机器不好使了 是不是啊 多纳泰罗
Oh, your machine doesn't work, does it, Donatello?
你就非得从我这里偷 是吧 兄弟
You really had to steal from me, huh, bro?
爱咋咋地
Whatever, man.
你想要我的钱吗 想要吗
You want some of my money? Is that what you want?
你想要我的钱吗 给你一美元
You want some of my money? There's a dollar.
我还有硬币 这是五分
Here are some rocks. There's a nickel.
工作狂（2011）
Workaholics
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