工作狂（2011）
Workaholics S02E08
Part 1
June 28, 2021, 1:31 p.m.
Bunny 我真的很激动 你终于决定过来了
Bunny, I'm so excited you finally decided to visit.
我们说过 如果我俩都单身我就过来嘛
Well, we always said if we were both single, right?
是啊 我们就像穿行在黑夜中的两只小舟
Right. I mean, we were two ships passing in the night.
你男朋友总是陪着你
You always had your boyfriend,
我也总是在忙
I was always, you know, busy.
就像我说的 我太忙了
As I told you, I'm a very busy person.
但是现在我们停靠在了同一个港湾
But now we're at the same harbor, huh?
我听见了汹涌澎湃的海浪
I can hear the waves crashing.
我还听见了雾角呢
I thought I just heard a foghorn.
我闻到了鱼的味道
I smell fish.
呃 我不是说你
I mean, not...not on you.
好吧 我压根没闻到鱼味儿 我瞎编的 抱歉
I don't even smell fish. I made that...I'm sorry.
呃
Um...
嗯
And, um...
我不知道这些马是哪来的
I don't know where these horses came from,
但这些就是马啦
but those are horses.
嗯 现在我们来到的是餐厅
So... right here we got the, uh, breakfast foyer,
那是活动中心
and, um, the entertainment center, of course,
这些 呃 是气球
and, uh, balloons, I guess.
看着像橡胶手套和套套啊
It looks like rubber gloves and condoms.
是的吧
Yeah, no, they are.
这就是我舍友欢迎你的方式咯
Um, probably just my roommates' way of saying welcome to you,
他们特逗
'cause they're funny,
希望我们不要一起遇见他们
and we're never gonna meet them together,
我可不想让你碰见他们
'cause I don't want you to.
不如我们去参观一下你的卧室吧
Well, why don't we take this tour to your bedroom?
不是说我有点生疏了 只是
I'm not saying I'm gonna be rusty, but...
嗨 Ders
Hey, Ders.
你想理发吗
You want a... you want a haircut?
拿着这剪子 我真的很像天才美发师呢
I'm like a Shear Genius with these scissors.
这什么情况啊
Why is this happening?
Karl要结婚了 我们要失去一个伙伴了
Karl's getting married. We're losing a dude.
永远都不许在这个房♥子办婚礼
We're not having a wedding in this house ever.
Ders 你怎么不趁早说呢
Well, Ders, I wish you would've brought it up earlier
因为五个小时后举♥行♥了
because it's in, like, five hours,
而且昨天我们把请帖都发出去了
and we sent a "Save the dates" out yesterday.
你没收到吗
Did you not get it?
你应该收到了 我从门缝下面塞了一张
No, you got it. I slipped one under your door.
除非是我没有塞
Except that I didn't do that,
我也许是忘记了
because I forgot to do that,
因为那阵我在吃果脆圈
because I was eating Froot Loops.
该死 - 我们的错咯
Dang it. - Our bad.
Ders 相信我 Hannah真的很好
Come on, Ders, Hannah's amazing.
我要为她改变
I'm changing for her.
是啊 他绝对改头换面了
Yep, uh, he's definitely changing.
他把那辆货车卖♥♥了 也不卖♥♥大♥麻♥了
He sold the rape van, and he quit selling weed,
这真的是 - 是啊 蠢爆了
which is... - Yeah, how stupid.
人生决定 - 太蠢了
A life decision. - Yeah, that's dumb.
我还搞了副眼镜调节我的斜眼儿
Yeah, and I got glasses to fix the wonky eye.
能帮我戴上吗 - 没问题
Can you put 'em on me? - Yep, mm-hmm.
真好 - 看看
Nice. - Check that out.
你看 正常了
Check it out. Wonk gone.
太棒了 婚礼哟
Come on. Weddings.
不不 他们要 我们要那啥
No, uh, they're gonna go, and we're gonna...
别啊 我们一定要帮忙
No, we've got to help.
有什么能为你们效劳的吗
How can we help you guys?
你确定你邻居不介意吗
Are you sure your neighbors won't mind?
不会的 我们经常偷他们东西
Oh, no. We steal stuff from 'em all the time.
车子啊 柠檬啊 网络啊之类的
Bikes, lemons, internet. Yeah.
花♥园♥黄鼠狼完成任务
Garden weasel weaseling over. Whoa.
小心点
Careful.
好了 下来了
Ah! One down, one down.
我觉得你和Ders有这样的约定真好
I think it's really cool you and Ders had a pact
你什么时候单身了 你俩就可以搞在一起了
that if you're ever single, you guys bone each other.
你竟然告诉他们了
Did you tell them?
没有 我从没说过"搞"这个字
No, I never used the word "Bone".
他的确说了"搞"
He said, "Bone."
不管怎样 我们就在这里了
Anyway, we're gonna be over here, guys.
知道吗 我以前也有过婚约
You know, I used to have a marriage pact.
是嘛 - 真的
That's cool. - It's true.
那时我16岁 她11岁
I was 16, she was 11.
但是她表现得真的很老
She acted really old, though. She acted like...
至少13岁的样子 - 真老
13 at least. - That's old.
我本想等她的
I was gonna wait for her,
但是我们年级的女生都开始发育了
but then girls in my grade started to develop,
所以我就奔着她们去了
so I sort of went that way.
不知道她现在多大了 - 咪♥咪♥的魅力啊
I wonder how old she is now. - Boobs rule.
老天爷
Oh, my goodness.
这些都是用来布置婚礼的吗
Tell me these are the arrangements for the wedding.
太谢谢了 这太棒了
Thank you, thank you, this is awesome.
Blake 趁我还没忘 我想
Blake, before I forget, I really just wanted
把这个给你
to give you this.
这是我对你的感谢
It's a token of my appreciation
谢谢你能当我的伴郎
for you being the best best man
你是全宇宙最棒的伴郎
in the entire universe.
有防毒面具 - 是啊
Gas masks. - Yeah.
这是古董Z型大♥麻♥枪吗
Is that an antique Zong?
没错 - 这很复古哦
Yeah. - This is old school.
还有你所有的游戏牌啊
And all your slammers? Very cool.
是的 所有的游戏牌 都给你了
All of my slammers, everything.
你为什么把这些给我呢
Why are you giving this all to me?
因为我正在改变
I'm moving on.
那是从前的我 这是现在的我
That was me, and this is me.
Adam 我现在想戒烟了
Adam, I'd think about cutting down on the smoking.
晕 这不是大♥麻♥啊
Oh, that isn't weed.
这可是你最喜欢的东西啊
But this is your favorite stuff.
Blake 那个"啥事白亚"写过一段话
Blake, it's like "Shakesbeers" Once penned:
"如果你爱一个女孩 非常非常爱
"If you love a girl, and you love her a lot,
那么你的责任 哦不 你的义务就是
"Then it's your responsibility... nay, your duty...
彻底改变自己 变得同她合拍"
To change completely to be more similar doth that girl."
是啊 必须得改变了
Yeah, doth... doth must change.
我真的在改变
I am changing.
莎士比亚蛮聪明的
Shakespeare was a smart dude.
他曾经是罗马帝国的总统呢 - 就是这样
He was the president of Rome. - That is correct.
这是催泪瓦斯吗 - 是的
Is this tear gas? - Yeah.
我赶上了西雅图暴♥乱♥
I caught that up in a riot in Seattle.
你会喜欢的吧
I thought you'd like it.
Adam 婚礼上的音乐安排得怎么样了
Adam, how are we doing on the music for the ceremony?
我告诉过你如果要做好
Well, I told you that I needed money
我得需要资金
if I was gonna get anyone good.
所以我还没有
So I haven't really...
而且我不能总是围着你转
Plus it's not all about you today, man.
瞧瞧我 我没有伴侣 你有爱情 我什么都没有
Look at me, I'm dateless. You have love, I have nothing.
我一无所有
I have nothing in my life.
我就是个没有伴侣的蠢货屌♥丝
I'm an unlovable, dateless loser.
好了 这是我一生的积蓄
Okay, so here is my entire life savings
都是百元大钞
in $100 bills.
我把钱给你
I give it to you so that you
这样你就能请个气派的乐队了
can get a band that is very classy.
我觉得Primus和Green Day不错
I'm thinking Primus or Green Day.
Jakob Dylan也可以啊
Them or Jakob Dylan.
你说的是Jakob Dylan吗
Did you just say, "Jakob Dylan"?
壁花乐团的Jakob Dylan吗
Wallflowers' Jakob Dylan?
就是他
That Jakob Dylan.
我知道我该干啥了
I know what I have to do.
吁 吁 吁 那是
Hyah! Hyah! Hyah! Was that...
吁 这是停下来的指令
Hyah! That's a stopping sound.
干得不错
Good work.
猜猜谁回来找你了
Guess who came back for you.
好了 大功告成
Oh, yeah. We're done.
工作狂（2011）
Workaholics
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